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Jealous of his past


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RecordProducer

Yank, just let it go. Get it out of your head. My husband had a threesome in the past and it doesn't bother me one bit.

 

All the jealousy happens only at the beginning of the relationship so try to hide it and get over it now. Later you won't have to deal with this poison.

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"as for disclosing past sexual activities, i think that is part of a healthy relationship. it is part of discovering who the other person is. if you trust and love your partner, you should be able to discuss your initimate thoughts and desires without fear - it builds trust, removes doubts and creates understanding.

Totally disagree and there is plenty of research out there to support that this is not a tenable position - not to mention just dangerous territory. It may work for you but certainly not everyone. There are many other ways to discover who the person is. Let's just say, hypothetically, that I had a gay experience when I was 15. Now 30 years later it is no way a part of who I am. Must/should I divulge that? I think not - especially if it has the effect of driving someone nuts who cares about me. And if it's totally irrelevant to who I am today.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I wouldn't be more jealous of my guy's emotional relationships than a one night stand. I feel both are equally deserving of the same amount of jealousy!

 

Men are visual and horny creatures, I'm sure they think of that one night stand sometimes and I'm sure they'll remember it when their old and gray when reminiscing about their wild days. I read in a book called "What Men Don't Want You To Know" and it states that these are the actual experiences that men remember forever.

 

I would be just as jealous of a screw that didn't mean anything, because it could mean that it was the best screw of his life, or that the woman was extremely attractive. Or if it's the best he's "ever had".

 

Yes, it's true that the guy is with me now, but I really do feel that past experiences and one night stands shows the type of character a person is and if a man has experienced those other women and sexual escapades, since he's had an actual taste of it, there is a higher chance he will want those experiences again!!

 

I find it confusing because I'm not sure what's worse, a man who is inexperienced or experienced, due to the fact that I think an inexperienced man will wonder "what else is out there" since he never got any and might stray out of curiosity to sow his wild oats. And an experienced man already KNOWS what's out there and how good it can be, so he is likely to want that feeling again.

 

It's both equally hard to deal with and sometimes I truly feel the only way

I can be happy is if I stay alone and die alone because I'm always going to have doubts about a guy, and I really do think MORE guys are unfaithful than faithful, so your chances are pretty much really slim of finding a relationsip that works since cheating is a dealbreaker for me.

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