twkvfx Posted August 15, 2006 Share Posted August 15, 2006 i believe that my friends and the people who i have a kind of relationship with don't know who i really am. what i mean by that is that people i know and are in a kind of relationship haven't seen the real person from within me. i really want to be more open and release the person that was lost from my heart. i really need to be more motivated. does anyone know any tips or advice in order to make this reality? cus i keep imagining myself being that kind of person. and that it's no good fantasising it, you got to act on it. Link to post Share on other sites
typical Posted August 15, 2006 Share Posted August 15, 2006 are you sure YOU even know who you really are? Link to post Share on other sites
Author twkvfx Posted August 15, 2006 Author Share Posted August 15, 2006 are you sure YOU even know who you really are? yes, i know who i really am from my heart. i could feel a rise of energy from within thats waiting to be unleashed. i was that kind of person when i was 14, but eventually i lost that confidence 2 years on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author twkvfx Posted August 16, 2006 Author Share Posted August 16, 2006 well? anyone have any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
superconductor Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 i keep imagining myself being that kind of person. and that it's no good fantasising it, you got to act on it. You just answered your own question, my young friend. Life rewards action. Link to post Share on other sites
Author twkvfx Posted August 17, 2006 Author Share Posted August 17, 2006 You just answered your own question, my young friend. Life rewards action. yeah i know, but what i'm asking is how do i act it? what is the first step? can't skip a couple of steps, like i always do. Link to post Share on other sites
superconductor Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 OK, fair question. Try this: Let's say that something gets you upset. Doesn't matter what it is, it just matters that the result is you get upset. As soon as you feel the upset welling up inside you... STOP and THINK "If I were (insert personality trait here), what would I do? What would I feel? And why?" As an example, let's say you have to return a pair of jeans to a store because they're not the right size. The zit-faced salesclerk, who earns every penny of her $6 an hour, gives you grief because you haven't got the receipt. You begin to get pissed off. But before you do or say anything, stop and think: If I were confident, what would I do/feel? Why? A confident man will be reasonable, then, if necessary, take the issue up with a higher authority (store manager, for instance). Why? Because there's a better chance of success in confidence than in ranting or crying or whatever. Maybe you'll get your money back, maybe you won't. But the issue is not whether you'll succeed in getting a refund; the issue is being confident in your ability to manage these sorts of everyday acts of assertiveness. Does that make sense? Link to post Share on other sites
Author twkvfx Posted August 17, 2006 Author Share Posted August 17, 2006 OK, fair question. Try this: Let's say that something gets you upset. Doesn't matter what it is, it just matters that the result is you get upset. As soon as you feel the upset welling up inside you... STOP and THINK "If I were (insert personality trait here), what would I do? What would I feel? And why?" As an example, let's say you have to return a pair of jeans to a store because they're not the right size. The zit-faced salesclerk, who earns every penny of her $6 an hour, gives you grief because you haven't got the receipt. You begin to get pissed off. But before you do or say anything, stop and think: If I were confident, what would I do/feel? Why? A confident man will be reasonable, then, if necessary, take the issue up with a higher authority (store manager, for instance). Why? Because there's a better chance of success in confidence than in ranting or crying or whatever. Maybe you'll get your money back, maybe you won't. But the issue is not whether you'll succeed in getting a refund; the issue is being confident in your ability to manage these sorts of everyday acts of assertiveness. Does that make sense? so what's your point? Link to post Share on other sites
ZICKAR Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 I say screw thinking....down with sponatneous .... if you are upset you shouldn't think too much about what you should do just do the first thing that comes to mind ... that's how you can show the real you because according to what you are saying the confidence skills and stuff are there but they aren't coming out when they should ... My advice be spontaneous and think more about why you "lost your confidence" at the age of 14 what happened then??? if you want to share I am all ears Link to post Share on other sites
FooD2000 Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 First of all, It's much better to be able to Stop --> think when your upset. It shows self control and also helps you interpet the situation less emotionally and more logically. If your saying to show the real you by freaking out when your upset then okay... the real you is a person who goes nuts when a situation goes sour. Anyways... Andy14, What is it exactly that your friends see you as? As oppose to what you think you aren't showing them? In other words... what are they missing? I'm guessing you not as energetic? opinionated? What happend at 14? You gots teased to the point where you don't want to reach out again? Link to post Share on other sites
ZICKAR Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 I am not saying to go ahead and go mental everytime somebody makes you mad :lmao:but my point was that he he should express himself more often and shouldn't supress his feelings:(..there might be many reasons why he might get upset and some of them might be because he feels he's being walked all over and can't do anything about it....and I think that's really what he's talking about not your average teasing in which case I say speak up your mind;)... 14 might have been a changing point for him because he even has it in his display name...he misses that Andy....:confused:what happened at 14????:confused: Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 If you can outwit John 1776 in formulating some new theory of universal gravitation that is the point you will come into your own Link to post Share on other sites
Author twkvfx Posted August 17, 2006 Author Share Posted August 17, 2006 hey guys, sorry but i might have worded my time at 14 quite wrongly. let me rephrase. when i was 14 i was really open hearted. but at early 15 things started to change slowly until mid 15. i didn't know how it happened but it was this time certainly not my fault. it just changed. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 maybe you are the promised one. maybe these somber changes are among the first steps in the metamorphisis. Link to post Share on other sites
ZICKAR Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 We can go on and on about what happened and what you should do to overcome it but sometimes if you cant trace the changes back to a specific reason you can't do much....May I ask how old are you because the older you are the harder it is for you to change Link to post Share on other sites
Author twkvfx Posted August 18, 2006 Author Share Posted August 18, 2006 when i was 11-12 i was okay, 13 i was heartless, 14 much of a character, 15-16 heartless. so i'm 16 years old. Link to post Share on other sites
Author twkvfx Posted August 19, 2006 Author Share Posted August 19, 2006 well? anyone have anything for comment? Link to post Share on other sites
bella_girl Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 Unfortuantely Andy I think it's called growing up... not something that you can skip easily. The teenage years are a time of big emotional change - all the freakin time. So yep you'll feel really differently one year to the next or one day to the next even. I think what super conductor is trying to say is try different personalities on for size (in situations where is doesn't really matter ie store clerk). See how you feel in different personalities - making sure you don't hurt/destory any friendships here. Try confident/assertive you might help you feel more that way. Ok in terms of your friends not knowing who you really are. I use to always think/feel this, but I think that there is always some part of you that not everyone gets to see. I have my closest friends that I tell stuff about how I feel etc and they don't judge me and can give me honest advice - that's why I love them. Other friends I don't diviludge the same information - a bit of a need to know basis really, ie not everyone needs to know everything about me. My other recommendation in terms of confidence - why not take up acting classes, there you get to play different roles, its a supported environment, you get to be involved in cool things and productions... etc. Or something else in which you are interested - singing, sports, languages, painting who knows... And remember everything changes thats the only sure thing in life! (apart from death and taxes!). Oh in terms of being heartless - try empathy on for size, put yourself in their shoes how would you feel in a given situation... can you empathise with the person? Link to post Share on other sites
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