Flirting tips from those who have been successful

[PoopsMcgee]

Hey all,

 

I've been a lurker on here for some time, but I thought I'd post this up for anyone who can give advice on being successful at flirting.

 

I'm 25 years old and have been out of college for 3 years. I work full time at a very well paying job and I take classes at night 2 days a week working on my MBA. I've never had problems, really, talking to women given that the right situation presents itself, it's just approaching them I've had the worst time.

 

My relationship history has been spotty...I've had a few serious relationships that lasted a long time, but then there have been HUGE gaps in between, some over a year or so. In other words, I've kind of fallen into relationships in the past through friends of friends, but now I'm in an area where I am busy 90% of the time and I know very few people. And like I said, I am really kind of naive when it comes to approaching women as I've never really flirted with and met a complete stranger before. I'd join some groups or clubs, but nowadays I don't have a lot of time to do this so my opportunities for meeting people outside of work (and to some degree, school) are kind of limited.

 

My main question is, how do some of you who are successful at flirting do it? My main thing I try to do is maintain eye contact and smile if a girl meets it, but this has come with varying degrees of success. I've noticed a lot of women will not look at you or acknowledge your presence, but then I've been told those same women will wait until you are not looking and check you out. Others will meet my gaze, and I admit, I have a hard time sometimes not looking away...eye contact is a VERY POWERFUL sensation. I often cannot hold it, and especially feel the pain of when they glance at you then look away (which I know could be bc they are nervous too). Anyway, any tips with getting girl's attention would be appreciated.

 

Also, how do you flirt without looking weird? What I mean is say you pass someone in the store who is attractive and you want to get their attention. How do some of you approach this person, say if they are about to pass you in the aisle? I sometimes feel weird just staring at someone or even staring and giving a smile of approval for fear that maybe they think I'm stalking them or something.

 

In other words, can some of you post your most successful tips at flirting with people of the opposite sex? It seems like the ones I end up flirting succesfully with and having a conversation with, especially women around my age end up either married (by evidence of the ring finger) or I find out they are seeing someone. I would specifically like examples of going up to a stranger and trying to strike up a conversation, or maybe seeing someone you like in one of your classes that sits at the other side of the room.

[nicki]

I'll bet a lot of women notice you, and you don't even know it! We women are notorious for looking at you men and glancing away, and then glancing BACK.....that means we are interested...check for that.

 

From a woman's perspective, I like it when guys position themselves close to me without being threatening. Like if I'm in the bookstore and they come up and stand next to me, even pretending to look at a book.

 

Then, after a minute, they can smile, say hi. Maybe comment on the book I'm looking at. Or ask me a question on a book. Anything. I'll talk to them if I'm interested.

 

As for talking to a girl at class, that's easy. Again, position yourself close to her. Time it so you can walk out the door together. Comment on something the teacher said. Smile and say "see you next class." Walk off. Repeat next class, different comment. Introduce yourself.

 

After doing this a few times, ask her if she wants to get together and study. I dated a lot of my "study" buddies.

 

Or, you can mention that you are on your way to grab a coffee, does she want to join you? If she says no, don't worry. Smile and say see you later. (She may be busy that time, so ask again another time.)

 

BUT, If she says yes, then go continue your conversation over a cup of java.

 

You can also approach her if you see her on campus. Go up and introduce yourself and tell her that you are in whatever class together. Again, you can comment on a test or the teacher's lecture. Make it short and sweet, and say see you later.

 

Then you will see her in class and say hi.

 

Anyway, hope this helps. Go for it.

[PoopsMcgee]

nicki,

 

That was an incredibly heartfelt and informative response. Thank you for your input, that really helped a lot!

 

To be honest, I've always been that guy who is a little shy...not necessarily about himself, but with talking with women in fear of giving the wrong impression. I love looking at women like the next guy, but I was brought up to be respectful at the same time...however, on dates, I've noticed women sometimes interpret respect with disinterest and I can see both sides.

 

I've also noticed girls give me looks at times, but have never known how to act on it without seeming desperate (one or two times during my youth I made the mistake of acting this way bc of excitement). I have also seen plenty of girls who one day may smile at me, but the next walk by like I don't exist...I can't help but think maybe they are covering the same way I do sometimes when I pass an attractive girl and don't know how to act. I feel I am an attractive guy with a lot to offer, and at the same time I have a sense of humor not to take a lot of things seriously. I think my biggest thing has been, I've always been incredibly picky with women I want to date, and when I have found someone I really like, a lot of the times things don't go my way bc I think I either got too excited, or I didn't communicate how much I liked the person enough. I think above else, I don't want to be one of 'those guys' who treats women like trash and uses them for their bodies...I guess that is why I am a little reserved in my flirtation, and THAT is exactly the reason why I have trouble showing women I like them.

 

At any rate, thanks again for your response. I would definitely appreciate anyone else's input on this!

[nicki]

Glad it helped. With your wonderfully respectful attitude, you are quite a catch!

 

I, too, have been historically reserved in my flirting, out of respect, too. I didn't want to look like a crazy, sex starved woman.

 

But, I find the friendlier I am to everyone, the more I get asked out by guys. I think people just don't want to chance rejection, so they need strong signals that someone is interested before approaching them.

 

For you, you just need to check for women's interest levels. They will give you signals. Your attention signals yours. You don't need to say you like a woman. Show her you do.

[PoopsMcgee]

What do a lot of you girls do to show interest in a guy who is either looking your way or very close to you?

[Green]

Shes a girl, she cant really help you get other girls unless she's hooking you up with her friends. Flirting 101 be very playful, flirt with every girl, ask questions you have no right to be asking personel questions, use that as your small talk. Ill give you an example your at the book store and you see a hot babe reading some book, ask her what its about, what kind of books does she normaly read, how do they make her feel... after about 3 small talk questions that will get her talking a little get her number and then get out of there. wait a few days and then call her for lunch, dinner or what ever else you want to do. Oh yeah most important hit on all the millions of hot girls you encounter every day from walking through the street to at the supermarket and bam your a true flirt make a game out of it. and be playfull when doing it. you dont have to ask each one for their numbers but you should.

[burning 4 revenge]

Change your name from Poops McGee for one thing. Jesus Christ man.