I messed up bigtime, I love my wife!!

[ilmw]

Thanks Gunz

 

I've gotten a few books on seduction and a few on relationships!! The Seduction books should help here and also help if I need to find myself a Sugar Momma:laugh:

 

I thinkI got the Two Minute Lover thing Down to A Science:o HA ahha

 

Welcome to the University of Life....

 

You have your reading list.. and class is in session....

[Gunny376]

Any tips from the Tigresses~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Lou Padget

 

"How To Give Her Absolute Pleasure" (Very infomrative book about sex)

 

 

That what this book is, chalked full of "tips" from the Tigeresses, thenselves.

 

Uhhmmmm! Lou's a gal, not a guy.

[chadnickole]

Lou Padget

 

"How To Give Her Absolute Pleasure" (Very infomrative book about sex)

 

 

That what this book is, chalked full of "tips" from the Tigeresses, thenselves.

 

Uhhmmmm! Lou's a gal, not a guy.

 

I'll go ahead and order that Book, I was hoping to get some Unihibited Woman in my thread to liven it up a bit!!

[Gunny376]

I read "Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex, But Were Afraid To Ask" to "The Joy Of Sex"

 

Lou's book would make a five dollar hooker ~ BLUSH! :eek:

[Gunny376]

I read "Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Sex, But Were Afraid To Ask" to "The Joy Of Sex"

 

Lou's book would make a five dollar hooker ~ BLUSH! :eek:

 

Made me go "Hummmm! and Damn!"

[chadnickole]

Guess its time to throw in the towel, She told me she wants a new start and that she deserves a new start (not with me)....... To which I'm thinking this chick is being very selfish, this is not just about her this is about our son growing up with his parents together and raising him as a family, not him having to be intriduced to multiple other men and woman!!! THIS IS WHAT FN KILLS ME!!!....... She said she sees my changes but thinks they are only temporary, and that she don't feel like she could put 100% into our marriage......I don't think I've been this angry at her before, I've been mostly just hurt now I'm just out right pissed!!

[ilmw]

Guess its time to throw in the towel, She told me she wants a new start and that she deserves a new start (not with me)....... To which I'm thinking this chick is being very selfish, this is not just about her this is about our son growing up with his parents together and raising him as a family, not him having to be intriduced to multiple other men and woman!!! THIS IS WHAT FN KILLS ME!!!....... She said she sees my changes but thinks they are only temporary, and that she don't feel like she could put 100% into our marriage......I don't think I've been this angry at her before, I've been mostly just hurt now I'm just out right pissed!!

 

Hi Chad..

 

Sorry to here the news...

 

The one bit of advise I can give you right now it this..

 

Its time to regroup... pull back... and time to realy focus on you time..

You also have gotta to lose the anger... it will get you nowhere fast.. but a bitter man... possibly out for revenge... (I see it all the time at work)

 

Just focus on you and your little one... your DW will do what ever she wants to do.. its something you have to except.. and get to grips with. Its not easy... trust me on that... but it is doable..

 

I'm in the same boat.. was not told the same thing by my DW... but as far as I am concerned... she might have well said what your DW said.

 

Make your self happy... realy start doing things for your self.. make goals and plans... as many as you can.... when you do some of them... it makes you feel great... even the thougt of doing something..(different) feels great... (almost a fantasy).... it can keep your mind of things... until you actually do something.. (travel) .... (meet a self goal)... etc.

 

I don't mean live in a fantasy world.. but some form of distraction makes some days much brighter.. and helps to go on another. day.. in a positive frame of mind... dreams and goals... help!

 

As for what your DW said... as has been said so many times.. believe nothing what you here... and 50% what you see....

 

You may have pushed her to hard?? ... Maybe you guys went to fast?? I don't know... its something you should consider?

 

In the meantime... get out. have some fun.. get in touch with you again... (PULL BACK)

 

But remember... walk with grace... be at peace with your self... lose the anger.. be there for you little one....and you will be ok...K

 

Be strong brother...

 

ilmw

[Salicious Crumb]

Chad,

sounds to me as if she moved out because she had feelings for her ex and I'd bet good money after she moved out that she was sleeping with him. If there is some other reason you know why she moved out, you didn't state it, thats why I think she wanted to move out so she could say you were on a break if she was with him. I'm also willing to bet that her ex talked her into moving out. He wanted her, I bet that just thrilled the hell out of him.

 

And then she finds out about this other girl and gets mad about it? I don't know...not enough information to go on here.

 

Its only my opinion, but I think she moved out because of her ex and just got insanely jealous when she found out someone else wanted you. Granted, I wouldn't have cheated until I knew for sure that I was getting a divorce, but she moved out on you.

 

But again, there isn't a whole lot of info to go on, its just speculation on my part, but this is my gut feeling and it hasn't failed me yet.

[chadnickole]

Hi Chad..

 

Sorry to here the news...

 

The one bit of advise I can give you right now it this..

 

Its time to regroup... pull back... and time to realy focus on you time..

You also have gotta to lose the anger... it will get you nowhere fast.. but a bitter man... possibly out for revenge... (I see it all the time at work)

 

Just focus on you and your little one... your DW will do what ever she wants to do.. its something you have to except.. and get to grips with. Its not easy... trust me on that... but it is doable..

 

 

Be strong brother...

 

ilmw

.

 

Thank Man I've stepped way back, I even met a female friend at the dance club the other night, innicent fun only!! I just don't get it though she just told me she loved me two weeks ago!!?!! Problem is I do understand her and the points she has and even agree slightly.......If it wasn't for our son I could agree with her even more!!!

 

I'm kinda just bla about the situation right now but she called me 5 or 6 times today to talk about our son and things they did today, then shortly after invited me up to have some lunch with her and oue son, I let her pay!!!......Like I said before I'm okay with things whatever happens though I would like my marriage to servive, for the sake of us and our son!!! But I am getting the confidance back exspecially after the Club Last night (just something about strange woman being all about you!!!)

 

I'm still not shutting the door behind me, but I am getting a life so to speak, thanks for your kind words and the as usual great advice!!!

And Your Right I was pushing the pace faster than she was comfortable with so I am a bit at fault!!

[chadnickole]

Chad,

sounds to me as if she moved out because she had feelings for her ex and I'd bet good money after she moved out that she was sleeping with him. If there is some other reason you know why she moved out, you didn't state it, thats why I think she wanted to move out so she could say you were on a break if she was with him. I'm also willing to bet that her ex talked her into moving out. He wanted her, I bet that just thrilled the hell out of him.

 

And then she finds out about this other girl and gets mad about it? I don't know...not enough information to go on here.

 

Its only my opinion, but I think she moved out because of her ex and just got insanely jealous when she found out someone else wanted you. Granted, I wouldn't have cheated until I knew for sure that I was getting a divorce, but she moved out on you.

 

But again, there isn't a whole lot of info to go on, its just speculation on my part, but this is my gut feeling and it hasn't failed me yet.

 

I do know that my Wife does make some very rash choices and will force her self to follow threw with them even if she doesn't holeheartedly believe them, We had all the problems of any other couple both of us working and trying to raise a new baby and neglecting each other!!

 

I do belive the infulanse of the EXB helped her in the decision to move out, I don't know about a psysical affair but definatly an Emotional One, But I don't know, thank you for your support though!!

[PWSX3]

Chad, I'm sorry to hear this but like someone told me the other day; as long as we learn from an experiance then it was worth going thru.

 

Good to keep that door cracked just a little so your stbx can see where you are going while she is still back in the shadow...

 

Keep working at bettering yourself and good things will come to you.

[Guest]

2 months ago she moved out of our house, a week before that we had talked about her wanting to leave but I thought we worked threw it. She was talking to her Ex boyfriend for about 6 weeks before she left, but says that she just needed someone to talk to, and that he would listen. She swears they had/have nothing going on in fact he upset because she wants only a friend in him! (she says) Anyway when she moved out, it was the hardest hurt I've ever felt! I was out with some buddys and this girl started talking to me, I figured my wife left me why not talk to her. I seen her a few times but always talked about my Marriage with her, she listened and seemed to care, One night I followed all her friends bachk to her place, I went in and we started talking, I woke up the next morning and had panties in my pocket??? I would have remembered if we did anything, But she said we didn't and she didn't know how the panties were in my pocket, I told my wife i was talking to another girl (to try to get to her) and it worked, she was crying wanting me to take her back. I was still to upset and was reluctant, but knew that is what I wanted. The next day she found that girls number in my cellphone hidden under a friends name, she left the house and I told her i wanted to hold off on her moving back in, she said it was because of the girl ( it wasn't) I just wanted to make sure she was not just wanting me cause she thought some else wanted me. Well stupid me held onto those panties and my wife found them, So in Two weeks time she went from loving me and wanting us to work, to going to an attorny and talking about divorce, The bottom line is that after all these games we've played I realize just how much I love her, I want to spend the rest of my life with her!! She says she doesn't want it to work anymore and will not even try now!! I just want my wife and my son back, how can I make her see that no Woman could ever replace her, And I love her more than ever now!! She always felt I didn't love her enough, well I want her to feel how much I love her but she won't let me, I just don't know what to do please help, She hates talking to me now, I just want our marriage to last!!!!

 

 

Well it sounds like you screwed up big time. I wish I could tell you there was a way to fix it but with some people there isn't. But my suggestion is to give her all the love she said you never did. Send flowers, maybe leave a note that tells her what you are telling us. Be sincere.

[chadnickole]

Chad, I'm sorry to hear this but like someone told me the other day; as long as we learn from an experiance then it was worth going thru.

 

Good to keep that door cracked just a little so your stbx can see where you are going while she is still back in the shadow...

 

Keep working at bettering yourself and good things will come to you.

 

 

Well Stxw pointed out a little hicky on my neck today (I did not know it was there) hardly even noticeable in a dimmly lit living room!! She told me that she didn't care it was there and that it looked cute and just thought it was funny!! She made sure to tell me this about 5 times while I was visiting with my Son tonight at her place!!

 

Yeah Oops

[ilmw]

Well Stxw pointed out a little hicky on my neck today (I did not know it was there) hardly even noticeable in a dimmly lit living room!! She told me that she didn't care it was there and that it looked cute and just thought it was funny!! She made sure to tell me this about 5 times while I was visiting with my Son tonight at her place!!

 

Yeah Oops

 

You can look at it two ways...

 

I should not have done it.. cause there is a chance DW wants to come back

 

or,

 

It could have been DW who gave it to you...

 

The Ball...Its kinda in her court now....re: what she wants..

 

If she is truly done.... Oh well... you are on the road to getting over her..

 

If not... it may get her to wake up and realise she may actually lose you...

 

As gunny always says... what one woman will abuse... another can use..(or something like that..)

 

Not condoning running out and getting into another relationship... that would be just stupid...

 

Just be careful.... in what you say and what you do... and I know you know this is not a game.... trying to make someone jealous... can backfire...(not saying that is what you did)... but it could appear that way... and I believe any attempt of trying to make someone do anything in matters like this... can really back fire... even when they are not on purpose.

 

make them... want to do the same...

 

The entire thing... is (all of this... is just... well... *uckin tiring)... Trying to gauge what someone else is thinking... or doing...)

 

I for one am sick and tired... of doing it....

 

Each of us ... has to gauge... within our own experience (life situation)... what is worth.. doing... and putting up with... If have come to the conclusion that if DW does not want me in her life... so be it... (the door will stay open a crack... but... She will have to knock on the door and ask to come in... I am done... worrying about it any more....

 

We sometimes have to say.. screw this... and move on... That does not necessarily mean... run out and find ... a new mummy..

 

(I'm kinda ranting right now) this is not directed at you in particular..

 

As always Chad... be strong.. be smart... do the right thing..

 

ilmw

[chadnickole]

You can look at it two ways...

 

I should not have done it.. cause there is a chance DW wants to come back

 

or,

 

It could have been DW who gave it to you...

 

The Ball...Its kinda in her court now....re: what she wants..

 

If she is truly done.... Oh well... you are on the road to getting over her..

 

If not... it may get her to wake up and realise she may actually lose you...

 

As gunny always says... what one woman will abuse... another can use..(or something like that..)

 

Not condoning running out and getting into another relationship... that would be just stupid...

 

Just be careful.... in what you say and what you do... and I know you know this is not a game.... trying to make someone jealous... can backfire...(not saying that is what you did)... but it could appear that way... and I believe any attempt of trying to make someone do anything in matters like this... can really back fire... even when they are not on purpose.

 

make them... want to do the same...

 

The entire thing... is (all of this... is just... well... *uckin tiring)... Trying to gauge what someone else is thinking... or doing...)

 

I for one am sick and tired... of doing it....

 

Each of us ... has to gauge... within our own experience (life situation)... what is worth.. doing... and putting up with... If have come to the conclusion that if DW does not want me in her life... so be it... (the door will stay open a crack... but... She will have to knock on the door and ask to come in... I am done... worrying about it any more....

 

We sometimes have to say.. screw this... and move on... That does not necessarily mean... run out and find ... a new mummy..

 

(I'm kinda ranting right now) this is not directed at you in particular..

 

As always Chad... be strong.. be smart... do the right thing..

 

ilmw

 

Well This was in no way done on perpous!! I did not even know it was there till DW noticed it from accross the room!! I was just out having fun with my buddy and this chick was tryin to get me hot, well she may have gotten me in hot water!!

 

I know for a fact I'm in no place to attept a R with someone other than the DW as you said the door is open a crack and the ball is in her court!! Having gone so long not feeling a woman true desire for me!! it really does feel nice to be desired by the opposite sex!! But I'm treading Lightly!!

 

I'm trying ilmw I'm trying and your Right this is no Game!!

 

And Man O man I know the need to vent and let the fire out!!

 

You take care as well my friend!!!

[ilmw]

Well This was in no way done on perpous!! I did not even know it was there till DW noticed it from accross the room!! I was just out having fun with my buddy and this chick was tryin to get me hot, well she may have gotten me in hot water!!

 

I know for a fact I'm in no place to attept a R with someone other than the DW as you said the door is open a crack and the ball is in her court!! Having gone so long not feeling a woman true desire for me!! it really does feel nice to be desired by the opposite sex!! But I'm treading Lightly!!

 

I'm trying ilmw I'm trying and your Right this is no Game!!

 

And Man O man I know the need to vent and let the fire out!!

 

You take care as well my friend!!!

 

Glad to hear your head is still screwed on straight.....

[Gunny376]

I wouldn't worry about the hickey too much, why should you? She doesn't seem to be ~ you've been bending over backwards, busting your azz trying to put all of this back together, and she doesn't seem interested in doing so (actions speak louder than words).

 

I'm glad to see that you've got the self discipline and self control to realize that that last thing that you need is another hot and heavy relationship with some other gal. Even if the STBXW gave your walking ~ freedom papers today, you wouldn't be ready for a relationship. Me? I won't even get involved with some gal whose ink on the divorce papers haven't dried for a least a year ~ preferablly two years. The American military doesn't recognize martial separation, not even a legal separation. They've been dealing with this kind of crap for over 230+ years, and they've got a lot more experince than I do ~ and that's good enough for me. Bottom line either your married or your not, just that plain and simple in my book.

 

But, you're also a human being and a man, you've got your pride, and you don't need some woman hurting you inside, and that means you've got emotional and physical needs. What you did was fine in my book, in so long as you ~ yourself are square with your own personal conscious ~ and that my friend is the one and only yardstick by which to measure this by. Not hers, not mine, nor anyone elses.

 

You come across to me via this fourm as a man of principal, integrity, and honor ~ with your own personal code ~ and I am very much convinced that you'd be willing to give up the left side of some part of your anatomy to get your wife and family back together.

 

But, as a person, a human being, as a man the last thing you should be doing is sitting around counting flowers on the wallpaper, smoking cigarettes until dawn each morining and watching re-runs on TV Land. You go that route and the men in white are going to have to come and get you and carry you away to some deep, dark place.

 

I was checking out ~ thumbing through Dr. Lauara Sclininger's (spelling?) new book, "The Proper Care and Handling of A Marriage" and one the things that I came across was where this guy had been in a long term marriage. His own MIL and SIL repeatedly told him that he was a "saint" for putting up with his wife's BS all these years. There apparently wasn't any touching, emotion, affection in the marriage. One day they were out and about, and the wife started "pawing" all over him, acting all affectionate, just because they happened upon a friend of hers out in public.

 

As they were driving home, he stewed and fumed over it, and finally he told her: "You had no right to do that! You've not shown me the least bit of affection at home in private in over ten years. Its seems everything that I do, or don't do is wrong, everything that I say or don't say is wrong. I'm leaving you. I love you so much, it pains me to know that I'm causing you so much heartache and pain! I'm releasing you from your vows, so that you can be free to find "true" love and happiness with someone else! I love you so much, that I would rather see you happy with someone else than miserable with me!"

 

When he got home he got to packing his bags, and then came the waterworks. They're still together.

 

I've looked into this and read about marriage, relationships, etc (and still am) for the last seventeen years ~ every since I went what you're going through at the present.

 

I don't have a lot of "triggers" that will make me go "high and to the right" ballastic. But, one of the few that remains is to be or feel "threatened" The last thing that you want to do with me is to threanten me ~ because if and when you do ~ ITS ON!

 

You threaten to do anything to me ~ you've might as well as have gone ahead and done it. A woman threatens to leave me, dump me, divorce me, its a done deal! She's nothing but history from that point on! I'm done! I'm through! I won't play that game!

 

Someone threatens to whip my azz ~ its on! Someone, him or me is going to have to "man-up" and tote an azz whipping!

 

If I were you, (mind you I'm at a much, much, much different life stage than you and position ~ i.e, my children are adults, retired military, not married, etc) I'd be making this little gal's dream a reality.

 

I've been where you've been, and are. I'm not inclinded to ever give any one person that much control over my fate, destiny.

 

The "ugly" truth of the matter is ~ that if this was just you and the wife, there;s no doubt in my military mind that she would be history. The sword that she's got hanging over your head is your son!

 

You so desperately want to give that little boy a home, with his rightfull Mama and Daddy! There's no doubt in my mind, that you'd be willing to endure and suffer through anyting to give your son the family that he wants and deserves.

 

Thing is Chad? You can't do it alone ~ it takes two to make it, but only one to break it!

 

You could get with a "Playboy" Bunny and she wouldn't measure up to the wife ~ because she's not the Mother of your Son!

 

You're a Man of Honor, Integrity, and Principel!

 

You'd made one Hell of a damn GOOD Marine! (Just in case that doesn't register ~ that's the highest compliment a Marine can give someone whose never served in the United States Marine Corps)

[chadnickole]

I wouldn't worry about the hickey too much, why should you? She doesn't seem to be ~ you've been bending over backwards, busting your azz trying to put all of this back together, and she doesn't seem interested in doing so (actions speak louder than words).

 

I'm glad to see that you've got the self discipline and self control to realize that that last thing that you need is another hot and heavy relationship with some other gal. Even if the STBXW gave your walking ~ freedom papers today, you wouldn't be ready for a relationship. Me? I won't even get involved with some gal whose ink on the divorce papers haven't dried for a least a year ~ preferablly two years. The American military doesn't recognize martial separation, not even a legal separation. They've been dealing with this kind of crap for over 230+ years, and they've got a lot more experince than I do ~ and that's good enough for me. Bottom line either your married or your not, just that plain and simple in my book.

 

But, you're also a human being and a man, you've got your pride, and you don't need some woman hurting you inside, and that means you've got emotional and physical needs. What you did was fine in my book, in so long as you ~ yourself are square with your own personal conscious ~ and that my friend is the one and only yardstick by which to measure this by. Not hers, not mine, nor anyone elses.

 

You come across to me via this fourm as a man of principal, integrity, and honor ~ with your own personal code ~ and I am very much convinced that you'd be willing to give up the left side of some part of your anatomy to get your wife and family back together.

 

But, as a person, a human being, as a man the last thing you should be doing is sitting around counting flowers on the wallpaper, smoking cigarettes until dawn each morining and watching re-runs on TV Land. You go that route and the men in white are going to have to come and get you and carry you away to some deep, dark place.

 

I was checking out ~ thumbing through Dr. Lauara Sclininger's (spelling?) new book, "The Proper Care and Handling of A Marriage" and one the things that I came across was where this guy had been in a long term marriage. His own MIL and SIL repeatedly told him that he was a "saint" for putting up with his wife's BS all these years. There apparently wasn't any touching, emotion, affection in the marriage. One day they were out and about, and the wife started "pawing" all over him, acting all affectionate, just because they happened upon a friend of hers out in public.

 

As they were driving home, he stewed and fumed over it, and finally he told her: "You had no right to do that! You've not shown me the least bit of affection at home in private in over ten years. Its seems everything that I do, or don't do is wrong, everything that I say or don't say is wrong. I'm leaving you. I love you so much, it pains me to know that I'm causing you so much heartache and pain! I'm releasing you from your vows, so that you can be free to find "true" love and happiness with someone else! I love you so much, that I would rather see you happy with someone else than miserable with me!"

 

When he got home he got to packing his bags, and then came the waterworks. They're still together.

 

I've looked into this and read about marriage, relationships, etc (and still am) for the last seventeen years ~ every since I went what you're going through at the present.

 

I don't have a lot of "triggers" that will make me go "high and to the right" ballastic. But, one of the few that remains is to be or feel "threatened" The last thing that you want to do with me is to threanten me ~ because if and when you do ~ ITS ON!

 

You threaten to do anything to me ~ you've might as well as have gone ahead and done it. A woman threatens to leave me, dump me, divorce me, its a done deal! She's nothing but history from that point on! I'm done! I'm through! I won't play that game!

 

Someone threatens to whip my azz ~ its on! Someone, him or me is going to have to "man-up" and tote an azz whipping!

 

If I were you, (mind you I'm at a much, much, much different life stage than you and position ~ i.e, my children are adults, retired military, not married, etc) I'd be making this little gal's dream a reality.

 

I've been where you've been, and are. I'm not inclinded to ever give any one person that much control over my fate, destiny.

 

The "ugly" truth of the matter is ~ that if this was just you and the wife, there;s no doubt in my military mind that she would be history. The sword that she's got hanging over your head is your son!

 

You so desperately want to give that little boy a home, with his rightfull Mama and Daddy! There's no doubt in my mind, that you'd be willing to endure and suffer through anyting to give your son the family that he wants and deserves.

 

Thing is Chad? You can't do it alone ~ it takes two to make it, but only one to break it!

 

You could get with a "Playboy" Bunny and she wouldn't measure up to the wife ~ because she's not the Mother of your Son!

 

You're a Man of Honor, Integrity, and Principel!

 

You'd made one Hell of a damn GOOD Marine! (Just in case that doesn't register ~ that's the highest compliment a Marine can give someone whose never served in the United States Marine Corps)

 

Thank you Gunny as usual your words struck deep and helped alot even brought a tear or two with isn't good I'm at work right no!! Don't want no one thinking I'm some Dandy

 

DW sent me a text message this morning telling me she hated me and that she couldn't sleep (2:30 am) to which I replied "Sorry, Don't hate Me"!! and went back to sleep!!

 

Your absolutly right about the sword she holds and thank you again for the compliment!! A Marine I'll hold true!!

 

Thank you

[chadnickole]

A series of emails I just recieved from Nickole

 

I said I hated you because it was thoughts about you/us that kept me awake.

Just thought that I just let you know why I said that

 

 

 

I want you to move on. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I don’t want to deal with it anymore. I’m not saying that it won’t hurt me, but I will get over it. I need this to end. I can’t do it anymore. I think that I hurt more not knowing what the hell is going on. If you had someone else, that would give me clarity.

 

I replied I'm not ready too, I need to be me for a while!

 

That’s is pretty much how I feel. THAT is why you need to understand that I am NOT nor do I intend to at the moment, date anyone. I need to be me.

 

I replied the ball is in your court, You know were I stand!!

 

She ask What I ment, I relied with

 

You know were I stand!! I love and care for very much and always will, I will always want our marriage to last, I will always want for us to raise our son together as husband and Wife, I will always want to sleep side bye side with you in our bed I will always want you to have my second child and I will always want to make up for the bad times and confusion that tore Us apart!!

 

Even when I move on, at some point I'll be able too!! But you will Always know were I stand

 

And I understand your feeling and know I cannot change Them

 

 

 

Maybe I should I have

left that last one out, I think she is just trying to ease her own mind by trying to pin giving up on me though. So I wanted to make sure the this decision is hers not MINE

 

what do you guys think??

[whichwayisup]

You did the right thing. Always speak from your heart because that way YOU feel better.

[chadnickole]

You did the right thing. Always speak from your heart because that way YOU feel better.

 

Some times I feel like I have Diarhea of the mouth, Just all comes out while not really wanting it too!!

[chadnickole]

were drawing, well I was drawing picture that he wanted me too!! Mind you he is just 22 months old right now!!

 

He kept telling me Daddy Do Momma and Daddy and Zach (himself)

 

He had me draw Us about 10 or 15 times then he was all done drawing!! That really bothered me alot!!

 

Just trying to figure out what is going on in his head and that I have no control over what happens between his mother and Me!! Talk about a punch in the gut, from a toddler at that!!

 

Then we laid down on the couch and watch UFC together, nothing like some No Holds Barred fights to cheer ya up

[ilmw]

were drawing, well I was drawing picture that he wanted me too!! Mind you he is just 22 months old right now!!

 

He kept telling me Daddy Do Momma and Daddy and Zach (himself)

 

He had me draw Us about 10 or 15 times then he was all done drawing!! That really bothered me alot!!

 

Just trying to figure out what is going on in his head and that I have no control over what happens between his mother and Me!! Talk about a punch in the gut, from a toddler at that!!

 

Then we laid down on the couch and watch UFC together, nothing like some No Holds Barred fights to cheer ya up

 

Thought I would reply to you in your own thread..

 

Yeah bud... I read this... and it sucks... We seem to be heading down the same road chum... I guess I am lucky in that... my DW has been stand offish all this time.... maybe some misleading behaviour.. probably my imagination... and high hopes more than anything..

 

I can see you having been through a harder time... with actual physical contact and the constant visits... that would make it much harder... well it would for me...

 

But... both these ladies seem to be wanting a certain thing... and that is not to be with us...

 

I am at the point of saying "screw this"... I don't and have not deserved this.... so "what ever"... I take a stand when or if anything comes up about my s5... she tries to pull anything with him.... I will fight her to the bitter end... Luckly she is not this way inclined.... if past behaviour dictates... with the my s/son father....

 

What really gets me is this.. if and when I get into another relationship.... that lady is going to have her socks blown off.... cause I finally have a clue.... about relationships.. and the ladies.... (Who wants the emotional needs met...)...

 

Take care brother..

ilmw

[mum2three]

I wish my H thought more like you! You are so committed to your family values despite your wife's shortcomings. It is so wonderful that you want your son to have the fullest experience with mommy and daddy together. I truly believe that your wife is missing out.

 

My H uses every excuse to say that I am a bad mom to justify his out on the M. Yesterday, he criticized me for not doing homework with S5 and not emptying his lunchbox b4 he got home from work! He didn't even ask me all the things that I was doing with 3 kids from when I picked them up from school. I just can't win.

 

I think if all couples thought that kids should have their mommy and daddy together then they would work harder to save the M. Nothing is perfect but it seems like very few are willing to stick it out or at least try earnestly. But both parties need to be willing to partake.

[chadnickole]

since the hicky she saw on my neck!! and the fact that I wasn't calling execept tp talk about our son!!

 

she had asked me out to lunch, we talked a little, she told me that she did not want to be alone and asked if I was seeing anyone!! I told her that No I wasn't and that I was not ready to date, that I needed to just be me for a while. She agreed and said the same thing!!

 

the next day she told me that she missed me and wanted to make things work, she stayed the night w/ me that night and the next 5 nights following. in that time frame she asked me about the photo that I found, I told her that yes I found it and that I took it, and also that I know I shouldn't have!! She said that she was looking for it so she could throw it away and didn't want me finding it while we were moving her stuff back into our house!! The next day she was veru upset that I went threw who stuff, as to be exspected!! I told her I know I was wrong and shouldn't have done it, I appologized for that!!

 

after that she started becomeing distant, to which I noticed and brought it up to her she just said she was gonna be starting her period and that it wasn't me!! Then she went out with her friend friday night for her birthday and never came home!! She went back to her apartment and stayed there she went to her mothers on saturday and avoided me and my son most of the day!! That night we were supposed to be going to a Birthday/Valintines day dinner that she planned for us, I told her we could cancel it to which she agreed!!

 

We didn't really talk at all Sunday!! Untill I dropped my Son off (small talk)

 

Monday I asked her if she woud like to talk for a bit, She agreed so i went to her place after work!! I asked her if needed to tell me anything? She said that she just don't think its gonna work, that the first 3 days were great but then I started getting on her nerves, She said that is not good that she can't even be around me for more than 3 days with out getting angry with me!!

 

I agreed and said that we tryed moving this along way to fast and that I was kinda getting sick of her too, and that we needed to just date for a while with no exspectasions, no pressure and patients!! That we just needed to take out time!!

 

She kinda disagreed and said that we are running out of time that the divorce is final the first of Aug. Then she also told me that she had written the other guy a letter telling him that he had no right ever contacting her in the first place and that made him a terrible person and never to try and contact her again!! I said exspecially since we were having a ruff time in out marriage!! She said not just that but at all after the way he had treated her way back when!!

 

She also said that she has realized that she is basically a control freak and she see's that now, she also stated that she can't stand to be around her best friend either after a few days and that most people just get on her nerves any more!! Also that she needs to find some independance because she has always depended on someone else!! I agreed that if that is what she needed that so be it!! I got her to tell me alot of things that have bothered her about our whole stich, I just kept asking her questions and getting her to get thing out!! She got a bit heated at times, and I just listened and listened some more!!

 

She told me that she likes being around me and all!! So I said that after a while maybe we could get out on a date or something!! And then I left!!

 

that Tuesday I stopped buy to give her the cards and gift that Our Son and I picked out for her a month ago!! She was kind, I was Kind and indifferant we talked for bit (small Talk) and I was leaving!! She stopped and and was like hey Hug, Hug thank you for the gifts!!

 

Wednesday she came buy, I had picked up my son and she was going take him homw at about 8:30pm because I had to be to work by 6 am!! She joked around and were basically smart asses to each other, the she joked about something that I was kinda offeneded by , I laughed and was like what the hell was that about!! She laughed and gave me a big hug and said sorry!! Well it was getting late so she said that she would just come over in the morning and stay for a couple hours, Zach didn't have to get up so early!! I said okay!!

 

I was up and in the shower by 5 am got out got ready, she was sleeping in my bed, I told her good bye and ran my fingers threw her hair!! she said thank you, I kinda chuckled and said talk to ya later and left for work!!

 

I notice thurday on her Myspace account that she had changed her status from married to divorced, my stomachg dropped!! I was hurt by that but I never let on to her about it basically just ignored it!! Stopped by that night for 15 mins just to see my Son, then left!! no cantact since then!! Which brings us to the current time (NOW)

 

So I back to NC basically if she calls I'll be friendly but that is about it, Still having a hard time being upbeat around her, because I'm kinda angry with her, and feel that she is being very selfish!! This is not jus about how she feel or how I feel, this is also about how our son feels!! and I can see a change in him when her and I arn't together!! (He's seems kinda down and not very playfull) and he's only two!!

 

Any way I'm getting a life but still not letting go of this whole thing completely!! Gotta be strong and hang in there for my Son, but not just him also for the love of my wife and family!!

 

I'm good though, 100 times better than I was, That is for sure!!

 

Thanks guys