Where to go from here and other stuff.

[Nezero]

Well, before I start my story lemme tell you, I didn't get the answer I wanted.

 

So I went into work today, straight from school so I got there at 3:30. Bought a chocolate bar and got served by her.

Asked her how her weekend was and what time she finished.

So I planned that I would be in the tea room etc when she finished (at 4:45). Can't remember exactly what I said but after she went to her locker I went out of the tea room and waited contemplating whether or not I should ask her to movies.

Eventually she came out and I walked wit her and asked her if she had anything fun planned for tonight (small talk). I decided it was now or never and I said, 'Hey I was planning on going to see a movie on the weekend (or might of said Saturday) and I was wondering if you wanted to come.

She replied 'Oh, I've got sport etc but thanks for asking'

My brain processed this and I thought 'Oh so basically no'. I said to her 'That's fine'

Asked her if she's working on Thursday, she said yes see you then.

 

Okay so everything didn't work out I wanted to. Now cause I was working by myself I had time to think about what she said.

I initially thought, she means no. Then I thought but there is a slight chance it could be yes but I'm busy.

Thought more logically and decided that if that was the case, she might of said something like 'Oh I can't this weekend' or something.

 

So I continued working and suddenly someone was talking to me. (I was facing the freezers which is pulling all the products forward so I wasn't really aware of what's going on) I turned to look and it was her. Firstly I thought, maybe she did mean yes but now this weekend but she said something like I have a boyfriend and I didn't want to leave you feeling like I snubbed you off or something.

 

I was like okay thats fine. She said oh but I still have basketball and thanks for asking and something about going out as 'friends'.

So we said goodbye and all.

 

 

Anyway I had more time to think of what she said and I realised that why didn't she mention she had a boyfriend when I asked her initially.

If someone asked you out, wouldn't the answer that comes to mine first be, 'Oh I already have a girlfriend/boyfriend/ seeing someone'.

 

Could it be that she may have said I have a boyfriend to spare my feelings ie instead of saying no the long way, if I say I have a boyfriend then he'll won't feel too bad?

She did seem nice about it and sincere but I don't know, maybe I'm just overthinking it.

Argh, I'm pretty annoyed/angry.

So another question is, has anyone ever said I have a boyfriend/girlfriend to spare someones feelings?

 

Should I become her friend and take up her offer sometime or what?

[bluechocolate]

She did seem nice about it and sincere but I don't know, maybe I'm just overthinking it.

 

Yes, you are over analysing things. Which ever way you look at it, b/f or no b/f, it seems pretty clear that she's not interested in anything other than being friends right now.

 

Argh, I'm pretty annoyed/angry.

 

Why? There's no reason to be. Rejection comes with the territory.

 

Should I become her friend and take up her offer sometime or what?

 

Depends on how you feel about it. If you can just be friends - why not? Personally I'd back off & let her approach you next time. Sounds to me like she just might do that.

[katriel]

Can you know if she has a boyfriend, no. Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't, but either way she's telling you that she doesn't want to go out on a date. Now, that might change, but don't count on it. Now, as for becoming friends with her, that's fine, but not if you are only doing it as a pretext for spending time with her in hopes of winning her heart. All of us have been there, and it rarely works out that way. My advice would be to keep talking to her like you have been, and see what happens. Don't ask her out again, just wait and see, and don't push things, just be friendly in the way you have been. If she's interested, she'll find a way to let you know.

 

All that having been said, I wonder why are you so attached to this one girl? It doesn't sound like you know her all that well from your preceding posts, and if that's the case, you might want to cast a wider net. If you have the courage to ask one girl out, you have all you need to start looking around for others that you might want to get to know. If you are completely wrapped up in the possibility of making something happen with this one girl, you might miss other opportunities, plus, you might find yourself becoming over-attached. Having done that myself in the past, I can tell you that your far better off not worrying about the outcome when you first ask a girl for a date. Once you start to date, you can worry about how serious you want to get, but focusing on asking only one girl out at a time is sort of like deciding to be exclusive before you even get her opinion of you or go out on a date. I hope you

[superconductor]

She said oh but I still have basketball and thanks for asking and something about going out as 'friends'.

The kiss of death, I'm afraid.