Guest Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 Why is it that some men will act all loving and do things for you when they want something from you like sex? When they get it a day or two later, they go back to not being loving or helping . I'm not saying all men do this but speaking from my gf friends of mine point of view and their relationships it is alot that do it. Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 Is this something they do all the time? Your friends husband doesn't show love or help out at all unless he wants sex? Then after he gets sex he goes back to not helping or being loving? If this is the case and its an all the time thing, then basically he is probably selfish and out for number one, himself. I know if that were the case with me and my g/f, then she would tell me to take a hike. Fortunatly I'm not like that. I don't set out to be loving just when I want something from her. Thats not what a relationship is about. Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 Is this something they do all the time? Your friends husband doesn't show love or help out at all unless he wants sex? Then after he gets sex he goes back to not helping or being loving? If this is the case and its an all the time thing, then basically he is probably selfish and out for number one, himself. I know if that were the case with me and my g/f, then she would tell me to take a hike. Fortunatly I'm not like that. I don't set out to be loving just when I want something from her. Thats not what a relationship is about. Then your g/f is a lucky girl JackJack! I thought all men was like this. Boy was i wrong. Glad to know there are some good men in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
SoCalCatman72 Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 Why is it that some men will act all loving and do things for you when they want something from you like sex? When they get it a day or two later, they go back to not being loving or helping. In a nutshell, because they are selfish. Someone who truly loves you and cares for you will do things for you because they want to see that sweet smile on your face that indicates you are a happy woman. IMO (rant) these guys give all other guys a bad name, and when guys are genuine and sweet and loving constantly, they get labeled as doormats and wimps. I mean what ever happed to the belief in the verse "No greater love has a man, than he lay down his life for another."?? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 In a nutshell, because they are selfish. Someone who truly loves you and cares for you will do things for you because they want to see that sweet smile on your face that indicates you are a happy woman. IMO (rant) these guys give all other guys a bad name, and when guys are genuine and sweet and loving constantly, they get labeled as doormats and wimps. I mean what ever happed to the belief in the verse "No greater love has a man, than he lay down his life for another."?? I was thinking this was very selfish and inconsiderate too. I was just wanting to see what all you thought. I hope to see others replys and see what they think as well. Thanks for all the replies and hope to see more! Link to post Share on other sites
onmyownagain Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 In a nutshell, because they are selfish. Someone who truly loves you and cares for you will do things for you because they want to see that sweet smile on your face that indicates you are a happy woman. IMO (rant) these guys give all other guys a bad name, and when guys are genuine and sweet and loving constantly, they get labeled as doormats and wimps. I mean what ever happed to the belief in the verse "No greater love has a man, than he lay down his life for another."?? You could look at it a different way. If he doesn't suck up to her and do chores around the house she doesn't give him any ;-) Link to post Share on other sites
SoCalCatman72 Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 You could look at it a different way. If he doesn't suck up to her and do chores around the house she doesn't give him any ;-) True, but then that's her issue to bear. Sex in a relationship is a priveledge, not a right. Being the custodian of someone's heart does not equate to owning their body, and if a guy truly loves a girl with his heart as he professes to with his mouth, he would do chores around the house, just because he wants to make the love of his life happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 True, but then that's her issue to bear. Sex in a relationship is a priveledge, not a right. Being the custodian of someone's heart does not equate to owning their body, and if a guy truly loves a girl with his heart as he professes to with his mouth, he would do chores around the house, just because he wants to make the love of his life happy. Great post SocalCatman!! Link to post Share on other sites
PandorasBox Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 True, but then that's her issue to bear. Sex in a relationship is a priveledge, not a right. Being the custodian of someone's heart does not equate to owning their body, and if a guy truly loves a girl with his heart as he professes to with his mouth, he would do chores around the house, just because he wants to make the love of his life happy. I totally agree with this. My ex husband was the type that never acted like he wanted to spend time with me. He never wanted to help me do chores are anything around the house, unless I practically begged him to, and even then he acted as if he was doing me a favor. When it came down to him wanting sex, he would become very affecinate, kind and would help me do a thing or two. Then after we had sex, the minute he got what he wanted, he would become cold, and callous, and would retreat back into his own little world, without giving me the time of day or helping etc. It took me awhile to come to understand he was a selfish man and wanted what he wanted when/where and how, reguardless of how I felt. I remeber talking to him about this until I was blue in the face. I might as well have been blowing in the wind becasue it fell on def ears. Needless to say I grew tired of trying to get him to see what I wanted and needed and was tired of him being selfish, and so it ended in divorce. Of course i also found out he was cheating on me as well. Maybe thats why in my case he never helped or cared how I felt etc. Link to post Share on other sites
americat Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 Probably because those men are using them. In my relationship, sex has the opposite effect. I'd suggest withholding sex altogether until you find the right person and he falls in love with you and vice versa. Otherwise, they should get used to being used because if they give it up easy, not only will the guy get bored and disinterested after the "chase" is over, but also it doesn't give him any time to emotionally attach to you. Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 Probably because those men are using them. In my relationship, sex has the opposite effect. I'd suggest withholding sex altogether until you find the right person and he falls in love with you and vice versa. Otherwise, they should get used to being used because if they give it up easy, not only will the guy get bored and disinterested after the "chase" is over, but also it doesn't give him any time to emotionally attach to you. Withholding sex is not the answer. However, I do understand why some women do this if they feel they are not getting other needs met or that they feel thier husbands don't help etc. Most of the time withholding backfires and makes things worse. Probably the best thing to do, if you have talked to your spouse about this and they seem to know how you feel but yet still acts the way they do, then either enter into marriage counseling to see if the problem can be fixed, or accept the fact the man is a selfish jerk or get out of the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Brattyone Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 Why do women feel that men should think like women do? Women need affection and intimacy to want sex Men need sex to feel intimate and affectionate. You should read the other threads about why men cheat. They aren't looking for love. They are looking for sex. It is IMPORTANT to them. It isn't a bargaining chip, it is a given. Women complain that men don't do enough. When was the last time you gave him a compliment? Made him feel like he was a good provider and a worthy mate? They need to be validated just as women do and I am betting most women complain 100% more than they are grateful. Try this experiement. Both men and women. Say nothing negative to your spouse for 7 full days. Everything is positive. I guarentee there will be a change for the better. Link to post Share on other sites
Sassy Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Why do women feel that men should think like women do? Women need affection and intimacy to want sex Men need sex to feel intimate and affectionate. You should read the other threads about why men cheat. They aren't looking for love. They are looking for sex. It is IMPORTANT to them. It isn't a bargaining chip, it is a given. Women complain that men don't do enough. When was the last time you gave him a compliment? Made him feel like he was a good provider and a worthy mate? They need to be validated just as women do and I am betting most women complain 100% more than they are grateful. Try this experiement. Both men and women. Say nothing negative to your spouse for 7 full days. Everything is positive. I guarentee there will be a change for the better. Been there done that sorry Bratty it don't work! Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Mackey Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Men need sex to feel intimate and affectionate. That's a bunch of bull**** Mmkay. Men don't need sex to feel intimate and affectionate, we're quite capable of doing other things in order to feel intimate and affectionate, however, we have penis's, and they like poon, mmkay. Now, some guys take this too far, and they are what we guys loosely refer to as "Dicks" mmkay. Girls don't like how dicks treat them, but some girls can't help it because they love dicks so much, even though they fully know that said dick, is in fact a dick. Case in point. Anyway, In regards to helping you, mmkay, I think that you should just tell him you don't like how he's treating you, and if he continues to treat you as he is, he can, "**** off", mmkay? Mmkay. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts