fallen851 Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 This probably seems trivial, but I'll go ahead and say it. My fiancee simply will not stand up to her mother, on anything. Her mother treats her litterally like she is five years old on nearly every issue, but she seems to think that life is better when she just goes along with what her mother does, no matter how bad is it. For instance, we (her parents and us) went to look at places to have our wedding and I could hardly get a word in with the person giving us a tour, her mother dominated the conversation start to finish. The guy could barely finish one question before she had already asked another. It was very annoying. At one point he turned to us and said "do you guys have any questions?", obviously sensing our displeasure with her mother. But after talking to her, she is reluctant to do anything. She believes it will just make her mother upset, and it isn't worth the fight. Finally, she agreed to talk with her mother, but she doesn't want to,and if you don't believe something is worth the fight in the first place, you're not going to see it through, so I don't think that is going to work. What the heck do I do? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 Maybe she doesn't know how to stand up to her mom. Maybe she is just use to listening to what she has to say, and doing it because it is easier for her than having a confrontation with her. But you trying to get involved between her and her mother is pointless. They have had a relationship much longer than you and she have, so telling your future wife how bad her mom is probably isn't such a good idea. It won't change things, but may cause resentment. If you truly love your future wife, you'll learn to love her mom. And accept her. But if you can't, at least keep it to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 Well your finacee is a "mamma's boy." I am too by nature, but my mom doesn't interfere with my marriage and most of my decisions. The oonly thing that you can do is put yourself in a position to be the one who wears the pants in the house so that your wife listens to you instead of her mom. Obviously if she doesn't listen to you, she will listen to her mother. But if you don't have the spine to do that, you won't do it by whining about how her mom interferes too much. You have to show that you're a strong person with your behavior and actions. I think once she sees that you are in charge she (the mom) will withdraw. So what you have to do is act a little bit like a control freak. Don't take her mom anywhere with you and insist on your decision about everything no matter what her mom's is. Try not to compromise your relationship with her mom though. Your future wife will not fogive you that. Most of all this is between you and your fiancee, not you and her mom. Link to post Share on other sites
PinkShorts Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 Maybe you shouldn't have her so involved in the preparation for the wedding if it is bothering you. Or just let it go and deal with it until the wedding is over. When I was younger I let a lot of big things go with my father b/c i was afraid to stand up to him and it put my relationship in danger. Link to post Share on other sites
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