Death in Family.

[calm_rage]

My Great Grandmother died last night. She was 98. I just got told by my sister that my grandmother (her daughter) phoned my Dad and went off at him because he didn't cry on the phone (he probably bawled his eyes out as soon as he got off though) and because my other Uncle had flown down to spend some time with her before she died - he also doesn't have a job and my Dad is a bank Manager and barely has time off to sleep and to my knowledge had no idea she was even dying.

 

I just know this is going to get nasty, and the funeral is going to be an ordeal because my Grandmother is kind of the black sheep of the family (they are all Catholic and she has been married 3 times ) which means that my extended family kind of is. I don't think I have ever even met my Grandmother's brothers before and I have a score of cousins I have never set eyes on.

 

The thing is, I haven't seen my Gradmother for about 3 months as I have been so busy. She lives near me but whenever I try to go visit, something always comes up. I would feel really weird going to visit her, It will look like it takes something like this for me to care. I don't know if she is annoyed at me, but I know she will need her family around her. I love my grandmother probably more then anyone else in my whole family and I would hate for her to think I am selfish.

 

I can't believe my great grandmother is gone. She has always been there. She seemed like she was about 15 years younger then she really was. And she was always wanting that letter from the queen...

[P1xie]

I just lost my grandmother. Go see your grandma. Sometimes death just brings people together or rips them apart. So let your great grandmother's death bring you and your grandma back together. 3 months isn't that long. I'm sure she will be overjoyed to see you even if she thinks the only reason you are going to see her is because her mom died. At least she knows you are there for her.

 

Take care and my deepest sympathies.

[HokeyReligions]

I just lost my mother last Friday. She is being cremated tomorrow. Today, for the first time ever my brother told me he loves me.

 

Go see your grandmother and stop worrying about what others may think or say. Everyone grieves in their own way - try not to let it get to you. I have not yet cried for my mother-whom I was extremely close to and she lived with us and I took care of her for the last almost 8 years. A couple of people have commented on my not showig any real emotion but they are not me. If and when I do break down it will be a gusher I'm sure. Some people have an immediate response of anger and tears and feel that everyone should be the same way or it means they don't care - that's a natural response too. I was really upset with my husband when our daughter died because he didn't show any emotion and I felt hurt by it - really hurt, and it made me angry and I didn't know why. We almost divorced over it because the hurt was so deep for both of us. He showed some emotion - instant breakdown - when our son died a couple years later, but by then I had a built-up reserve of anger and resentment and it took a lot for us to get through that.

 

If anyone says anything about the reactions of you or other members of your family, just say 'Yes, I am grievig and I know you are too - we all have to grieve in our own way. I'll try to be there for you and hope that you can be there for me when I need you.'

 

I am sorry for your loss. 98 years is a long time, but it still seems too soon to those who love her. My mom was 80 years and exactly one month old when she passed away on Friday, August 11th. Because of her health she was ready, but it still seems too soon.

[Rumbabe]

Thinking of u all..