Best friend's girl hits on me....what do I do?

[Yoohoo]

I've known my best friend for like 5 years now...and within the past month or so, he has a new girlfriend...he hangs out with her a lot, almost too much, so that he quit hanging out with his friends almost completely, except maybe one day a week and even then, he brings his girl along on "Guy's night out" kinda things, which make it weird for all the guys......so its like I have to hang out with both of them or never see my best friend.

 

His girlfriend is really cool and everything, but whenever she's around, even when he's like right there, she gets kinda flirty with me, and it makes me uncomfortable because I'd had a crush on her even before she met my best friend...

 

I value my friends more than anything, and don't want to do anything that could jeopardize my best friend and I from getting along...

 

Do I stop hanging out with my best friend and his girlfriend to avoid the awkwardness?

 

Should I talk to one or both of them about it?

 

I think if I brought it up to him, he'd get pissed off about it, and I don't want that to happen...

 

Also, how do I get him to hang out more, without his girlfriend around? I'm starting to miss my best friend...

[monkey00]

hmm you're stuck in a tough spot my friend.

Although i only met my friend's gf once, since she came back to the city for good they're always together. Just about anything i ask him to do, his gf will likely be there. Altogether i've stopped or rarely hung out with him. But we're still on good terms and speak regularly. My friend's just too nice to her that way.

 

As for you, flirty can be fun if there are no intentions..girls like the attention.

You dont have to hang out with them all the time, get other friends to hang with if its awkward for you to be around her.

 

i see no problem telling your friend, you guys know each other for 5 years, if the friendship is strong it should hold up.

[Brittanyjean06]

Welcome to the world of boyfriends/girlfriends. Thats just how it is when you get a gf/bf you always want to spend more time with them. As much as it can easily fire back at you when you loose that gf/bf there is nothing you can really do but talk to him about it and see how he feels. I seem to be less interested in some friends when having a boyfriend. ?? I wish it wasn't like that but it is, you will always have those friends you can always lean on though.

[Yoohoo]

Thanks for the advice, I think I'll talk to him about it tomorrow

[Brittanyjean06]

Good but be prepared for him to not believe you.

[Yoohoo]

Good but be prepared for him to not believe you.

 

I think he knows what's up...he's seen it before, he's just not the type that'd bring it up...he's a shy/passive type

[monkey00]

yea thats usually the way the wind blows. hanging out with friends start sucking more because the Signifcant Other is in the picture, wehther physically or not. Even if the gf isnt around, the mentality is still in the head...and one avoids doing the things they used to do or express free will like you once knew him.

 

Although another possible or even better solution to fix this is to get your own gf and bring her with you for double dates or whenever his gf is around. That way your gf can keep a close watch....*cough* whipped!

[DaNziNgQuEeN1]

I don't think you have to STOP hanging out with them to avoid the awkwardness. In my opinion, you should talk to her about it first. Tell her that you're cool with her as a friend and all but that her flirting makes you uncomfortable because she's your best friend's girlfriend. She might say that it's fine and that she won't do it anymore. She might say that you're making a big deal out of nothing. Tell her that SHE may think it's not a big deal but that YOU DO and that if she does not stop you're going to have to talk to HIM about it...and she won't want THAT. If you have to talk to your best friend about this you're going to have to choose your words carefully. Be honest about the whole thing. Remind him that you and him have been best friends for 5 years now that you have no reason to lie to him about this. Tell him what she does and how that makes you feel uncomfortable. Mention that you've spoken to her about it as well. Also say that your intention is NOT to cause problems between them both but that you feel you had to tell him how you felt. Explain it calmly and carefully. He can't get mad at you if you tell him, clearly, what it is that bothers you and how you see it. SOMETHING good has to come from it. As for seeing your best friend without him bringing his girlfriend around, the only thing I can think of that you can do is tell him the truth. Ask him if it would be possible to hang out with just him and the guys. There should be something you can compromise with him since he IS your best friend. Good luck!

[Almost]

A lot of women are like this. They like attention and like to flirt, and flirt with most guys even though they don't realize it. It's like they can't help it.

 

Some women are just naturally sweet with big smiles and even though they aren't really flirting with you, it seems like it to you.

 

Rather than talk about it with your friend, I would talk about it with his girlfriend. Call her on it when you think she's flirting with you - when you are alone without him around. See what she says. Give her a few examples of how she has flirted with you and ask her what kind of message she's trying to send, if any.

 

With your guy friend, talk to him about keeping guys night out for just the guys. But I wouldn't mention to him how his girlfriend is flirting with you. I don't see that leading to anything but pain and arguments and misunderstandings all around.