just found out my girl hooked up with my friend before i met her

[musicman2386]

I've been dating this girl for about a month now. We're not an "official" couple yet but things have been going really well and I really like her a lot. She's going away to school soon and I just found out that she hooked up with my friend and went down on him before I ever met her. I know it's not something I should be worried about but I can't get it out of my mind and every time I kiss her now I think of how his cock has been in her mouth. She's really an amazing girl and she's not like that at all this was like a bad move on her part when she was drunk. I don't know what to do...I want to move past this. What do I do? Help.

[stoopid_guy]

So move past it... You probably knew she wasn't inexperienced, it's just something you don't need to think about. You probably don't think about her vomiting when you kiss her, but pretty safe bet that she's done that too.

 

Think about the lady you're with now, not the lady she was before you met.

[bluechocolate]

She's really an amazing girl and she's not like that at all this was like a bad move on her part when she was drunk.

 

Not at all like what? A sexual being? A girl who gives blow-jobs? I'm not exactly sure why you'd consider this a bad move on her part. And what if she wasn't drunk? I guess you'd feel even worse?

 

I'll give you that knowing the guy makes it a little bit weird.

 

I really should stay away from threads like this because I just never get it.

 

I want to move past this. What do I do?

 

Accept that she's a sexual human being, pretty much like yourself, & forget about it. Whatever you do, don't make this her problem. It's got nothing to do with her & everything to do with you.

[musicman2386]

It's not just the fact that I know him...it's the fact that I know how he treats women. We are all in a fraternity in college and this guy has been with SO many girls. I've seen and heard him talk about these girls and it's some of the most disgusting things I've ever heard. Now she's talking about wanting to get an STD check and stuff. It just makes me wonder if a guy like this can get her to go down on him after 2 weeks then maybe she isn't the girl I thought she was...or maybe she's changed? I guess maybe I should be more pissed of at him for treating her that way even though I didn't know her at the time but I just can't get it out of my head. I hope I can get over it after time.

 

What I meant by "she's not normally like that" or whatever was that she's not a slut. I know the post kinda made her sound that way but everyone has made mistakes...I know I certainly have made mistakes like that but that doesn't define who you are as a person. I even told her some of the mistakes I have made in the past to try to make her feel better because I could tell she felt like ****. I could tell it was killing her that she did that...even though there is really no reason since I didn't know her at the time. My only problem is that I can't get it out of my mind.

[DeeBrod83]

Not to be blunt, but it sounds like an insecurity issue on your part. Are you afraid that she's going to hook up with some guy while you're dating? You can't hold someone's past against them. If she does it now, that's different. But you've said yourself, everyone makes mistakes and you've made them too. So why should she have to feel so bad for this partical one just b/c you can't seem to get past it. Whenever it comes to mind, just find something else to replace it with, like a great memory that you two have together. It'll seem really forced and akward at first, but over time you'll get to thinking about the good and not the bad. Let her prove herself to you, not disprove your expectations. This is your problem, not hers, so don't make her feel bad for it. It's learning to trust.