linn949 Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 3 weeks ago SO came home for 6 days to try to work things out,what a lie he was telling me and himself,he went back to our camper on thursday,sold it on tuesday and this last sunday he moved all his belongings out of our home. I tryed to talk to him numerus times almost begging him to work out what was going on with the 26,married w/3 kids co/work,He still told me to the day he moved out "he had never touched her sexually""just co/worker friends"When he was moving out he cryed told me he STILL loved me,knew this was not what he wanted,this was hurting him even if I didnt believe him !!Could he call me that night, No call.I found out he was not living at the camper,the day he moved out of here he moved into an apt,where? I have also found out that my SO,married friend and her HUSBAND are all into a 3some,I always knew this was my SO fantasy,but he always talked about me,him,and ? never him with an other couple...This was always just fantasy talk?? THIS is killing me,the pain I feel is like nothing I have ever felt.We have been together 14 years,involved 20.How do you tell someone you still love them then shatter there world ??No we dont have children together but, we have raised 5 kids together,been together when the kids got married and have grandparented 3 grandchildren together,where do I stand with his grandaughter who is almost 7...Am I no longer her grandma?All I do is cry, I cant eat, I am not handeling my responsibilitys,the shaking is terriable,I dont want to be around my children(grown) because I dont want them or anyone else how bad Iam doing.The sick thing is I would take him back,yep if I knew this was just a "thing" he went through (he's 47) and we built back what "I" thought we had I would want him back,but he left and its like O.K. its been 14 years and I"II see ya !! I have even told him to tell me everything know matter how bad it is and let me decide if this is something I could deal with, No the lies continued.This is what cheating,not being honest,and being selfish can do to a person.So how do you go on, stop all this pain I feel, I feel as though Iam loosiing my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Author linn949 Posted August 17, 2006 Author Share Posted August 17, 2006 Ad to this He told me I was blowing this all out of perporsion ! miss spell? Link to post Share on other sites
Returning Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 I hear ya linn949 go ahead and vent... I'm not clever enough to come up with words to console you, if there are any. My thoughts are with you and I'll be including you in my prayers. tc hon Returning x Link to post Share on other sites
agoraphobia Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 I feel for you. Here we are with our little 1 year, 2 year relationships, venting and thinking our lives are over because we were dumped. And here is a person who had 20 years together with a partner taken away from them just like that. I don't even know where I would begin to cope with that sort of thing. I'm sorry...I wish I could say something to take the pain away for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author linn949 Posted October 16, 2006 Author Share Posted October 16, 2006 3 weeks ago SO came home for 6 days to try to work things out,what a lie he was telling me and himself,he went back to our camper on thursday,sold it on tuesday and this last sunday he moved all his belongings out of our home. I tryed to talk to him numerus times almost begging him to work out what was going on with the 26,married w/3 kids co/work,He still told me to the day he moved out "he had never touched her sexually""just co/worker friends"When he was moving out he cryed told me he STILL loved me,knew this was not what he wanted,this was hurting him even if I didnt believe him !!Could he call me that night, No call.I found out he was not living at the camper,the day he moved out of here he moved into an apt,where? I have also found out that my SO,married friend and her HUSBAND are all into a 3some,I always knew this was my SO fantasy,but he always talked about me,him,and ? never him with an other couple...This was always just fantasy talk?? THIS is killing me,the pain I feel is like nothing I have ever felt.We have been together 14 years,involved 20.How do you tell someone you still love them then shatter there world ??No we dont have children together but, we have raised 5 kids together,been together when the kids got married and have grandparented 3 grandchildren together,where do I stand with his grandaughter who is almost 7...Am I no longer her grandma?All I do is cry, I cant eat, I am not handeling my responsibilitys,the shaking is terriable,I dont want to be around my children(grown) because I dont want them or anyone else how bad Iam doing.The sick thing is I would take him back,yep if I knew this was just a "thing" he went through (he's 47) and we built back what "I" thought we had I would want him back,but he left and its like O.K. its been 14 years and I"II see ya !! I have even told him to tell me everything know matter how bad it is and let me decide if this is something I could deal with, No the lies continued.This is what cheating,not being honest,and being selfish can do to a person.So how do you go on, stop all this pain I feel, I feel as though Iam loosiing my mind. UPDATE: So here we are 9 weeks since my ex moved out and 1 week after he moved out I met a great guy...not looking for anyone, hurting and at that point mad as hell with my ex I started talking with this new man and finding out we both went through hell with our ex's, not just the break ups but looking back I had been with my ex for 14 years and the relationship was always hard, we had to work at our relationship at all times to keep it up and the man I have met talks to me and says he was living with someone 10 years and they had the same relationship as my ex and I, yet me meet 7 days after my ex moves out and we have found a GREAT relationship/friendship in 8 weeks, things between us are "easy" you could say..So heres the" PROBLEM" # WEEKS ago my ex starts calling and comeing by the house wanting to see me...He never knew he loved me so much..He's going crazy missing me...He's going to a counseler over us and this break up..it's not what he wants,,HE WANTS TO MARRY ME after 14 years he says he was wrong and wants to do and is willing to do ANYTHING to get me BACK..His family has called non stop telling me my ex knows he was wrong and he will do what ever it takes to get me back....MY EX SWEARS he never had sex with this other women (26 year old) he knows he was wrong in investing time going to the park with her 5?xs telling her everything about our lives, He admitted he lied to her about me and has maid it clear to her and every one he wants me back, he has gotten an apt close and is looking for a new job to show me he is serious about making things right between us............I know this is hurting him but He hurt me in away I cant explain, I have tried to explain to him how BAD I was hurt over everything and that I do love him but after going threw the pain of the last 8 months all this **** was going on that I'm not "in love" with him anymore and this is hurting us both..I know he still loves me and I feel after everything this was a power struggle and he lost and he's deeply sorry and wants to get back together and make things right but I truley feel I cant risk ever going throug that find of pain again........The new man I feel would never hurt me as he's been throuh this also but how do I know I'm making the right decision...Going back and trying to fall in love with my ex or staying with the new guy who I'm happy with when were together ??? I MISS MY EX and the good-great parts of our life together,I dont miss the bull **** he put me through,COULD he change ???BUT the NEW GUY is GREAT FOR ME.???????????AND WORDS OF WISDOM I COULD USE........... Link to post Share on other sites
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