figgurinoutlife Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 I have been doing NC with my ex for almost month and a half. I started NC because she would say she was still in love with me, missed me, and she even said she wanted me back, then she would run back to her newly broken up ex, then tell me she needed some more time to work and save up some money before moving back to my city. I don't think she was quite ready to leave her last ex yet and move back to be with me because they were freshly broken up. I also heard through the grapevine that she was flirting or partially interested in someone she works with who lives in her town. So I snapped and said enough is enough, she is just stalling and is all talk and no action. If she wanted me bad enough she would drop everything and move in with me and be with me. She has been sorta doing these games ever since we broke up 2 years ago, leading me on, making out with me then running back to her boyfriend. I was her safety net, the person she ran to when her and boyfriend were having problems. I was almost always there for her and tried very hard to be her friend even though I had deep feelings for her still, so I took her crumbs. Well, she was not happy that I snapped and did NC - I started NC right after I found out she was flirting and liked a new guy at her work and I thought that he maybe the reason she was stalling with me. I started NC by ignoring her for a few days then she was acting like she really didnt know what she did to piss me off so I texted her that I wrote her an email saying I was tired of being her safety net, and that if a person really wanted to be with another they would move mountains and that this crap has gone on for too long, etc. Well her response to that was "****you, you don't know what my feelings are you inconsiderate ***hole!" Then she slammed me on her myspace page with a blog titled "***hole." So I made a temporary myspace and slammed her back with a comment. Then I deleted my page and that was that - then on to NC for over a month, and on.... It has been rough, as I have had some very rough patches, missing her, wanting her back, thinking about her 24/7, thinking about all the good times, forgetting the bad, wanting to call her, text her, email her, checking her myspace all the time until she set it to private a couple weeks ago. It's been rough. In the first month of NC I have had 2 private calls on my cell both 2 weeks apart, figuring it was probably her cause she has been known to call me private before. Now I have had about 10 private calls all in the last 3 days! No voicemails, nothing. Sometimes there will be 2 in a row. I am freaking out! I just know it's her and I am stressed. Then today 2 more private calls in a row, then an hour later an actual number called and I have no idea who that is either, and am too afraid to call it back. Now just 5 min. ago I got another private call! What is she doing here? I don't know how to handle this and I don't want to answer. You'd think if she really wanted to communicate with me she'd write me an email, or letter. Is she trying to see if I'd crack or what? What do you think she's going to do if I continue to ignore her? Link to post Share on other sites
scrybe74 Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 Obviously if it is her then she's beginning to regret taking you for granted. This has gone on for 2 years? I would calmly think things through. If you really are willing to move on without her then don't return her calls. If you still have hope for the two of you....then answer the next time she calls. Find out what she wants and talk to her. Whatever she says let her know that you've always had feelings for her but you can't accept the on again off again relationship you've had with her. Tell her if she's interested in seeing you again then your open to it but if she's still confused and has doubts then tell her to call back when she's figured out what she wants. Now...for my opinion: If she's strung you along for 2 years then you can bet your last dollar that she'll never take you seriously. The best you can hope for is to be the safety net friend. Eventually you meet a really nice girl that you like and you'll get serious about her. Your ex will find out and all of a sudden start acting jealous and begin to tell you how much she loves you and wants to be with you. You will screw up the potential relationship with the new girl to go back to your ex and she will jump ship after a few weeks (or days) and you will be left alone, bitter and feeling foolish. I say move on. Don't call her back. If she really wants you she'll get in her car and drive to see you in person and plead her case. Anything less than that is unacceptable. good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author figgurinoutlife Posted August 17, 2006 Author Share Posted August 17, 2006 That's what I figured. If it was that important she would leave a voicemail, letter, or drive to find me. I am afraid if I answer it will set me back. It is soo tempting to answer though, I'm just so afraid. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 you sound like the girl in the relationship....the guy should be doing the courting, not the girl Link to post Share on other sites
Author figgurinoutlife Posted August 20, 2006 Author Share Posted August 20, 2006 Well, she broke up with me so I have been trying to play it cool. You can only "court" so much until you just have to give up and let them do the rest. Link to post Share on other sites
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