Trying to understand Posted January 13, 2002 Share Posted January 13, 2002 I have been dating this guy for about a year. WE get along well and have had some wonderful times. He suffers from depression that is a result of a chemical imbalance. He has tried a few samples of Paxil but because he is in the military he has not sought out further medical advice for fear of repercussions. Although up until recently he has not had a severe episode. He has been able to somewhat control it. My concern is that if he and I continue to see each other I want to be able to help him as much as possible when he becomes depressed. I've been trying to understand the illness by reading articles and books. Does anyone know of a good source for those individuals whose loved ones suffer from this illness? When he becomes depresssed he takes his anger and complacent attitude out on me. I know it is not how he would treat me if he were not depressed. Therefore, it is very important that I find some useful information. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 13, 2002 Share Posted January 13, 2002 Finding useful information for yourself is not going to keep him from taking his frustrations out on you when he's depressed. You are not obligated to help him when he's depressed neither is it a good idea to continue seeing somebody who is reluctant to get treatment. He would do great on a regular regimen of Paxil, Zoloft or whatever the doctor eventually put him on. Encourage him to report this to his military doctors. If he gets discharged, he would be eligible for miltary disability payments, which are pretty generous. Then he could go into the civilian world, take his medication without worry, and get a nice job. It is not in your best interested to continue seeing somebody who will not get the help he requires. If you stay with this man, you are headed for a lifetime of misery with the ups and downs you will face. If you are intent on making major sacrifices of your own happiness to hang around this dude, go to: www.google.com and enter "depression" (with the quotes) into the search field. There are hundreds of sites that will give you insight into depression, its treatment, and what you can do to understand and support a person close to you who suffers from depression. Remember, though, that most of those sites that give you information on how to suppport the person presuppose that the person is receiving adequate treatment. Taking a few samples of Paxil is hardly a treatment. It's very possible your friend could need medication for a very long time. He should get out of the military if that's what it takes for him to achieve happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
Trying to understand Posted January 13, 2002 Share Posted January 13, 2002 Thanks so much Tony. I've been encouraging him to get out of the military but I know that he has apprehensions of being able to make it in the "real world" since the military is all he has known for 21 years. He is a bright, intelligent guy and if he could just take that first step I know he would be successful. I just wish he did. As far as treatment. Yes he is a perfect candidate for medicinal intervention. However, he misses the "highs" in life when he is on it. Right now I am able to maintain my sanity and hopefully he will seek the help he needs before we both lose it. Finding useful information for yourself is not going to keep him from taking his frustrations out on you when he's depressed. You are not obligated to help him when he's depressed neither is it a good idea to continue seeing somebody who is reluctant to get treatment. He would do great on a regular regimen of Paxil, Zoloft or whatever the doctor eventually put him on. Encourage him to report this to his military doctors. If he gets discharged, he would be eligible for miltary disability payments, which are pretty generous. Then he could go into the civilian world, take his medication without worry, and get a nice job. It is not in your best interested to continue seeing somebody who will not get the help he requires. If you stay with this man, you are headed for a lifetime of misery with the ups and downs you will face. If you are intent on making major sacrifices of your own happiness to hang around this dude, go to: www.google.com and enter "depression" (with the quotes) into the search field. There are hundreds of sites that will give you insight into depression, its treatment, and what you can do to understand and support a person close to you who suffers from depression. Remember, though, that most of those sites that give you information on how to suppport the person presuppose that the person is receiving adequate treatment. Taking a few samples of Paxil is hardly a treatment. It's very possible your friend could need medication for a very long time. He should get out of the military if that's what it takes for him to achieve happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
radioactivegirl Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 Depression is a baffling disease. The sooner WE ALL(including your guy) treat it as a medical condition and not as if someone is crazy the better people with depression will be treated. You sound very understanding. If you are in this for the long haul it'll be tough. You wouldn't leave someone if they had asthma or diabetes, but if they weren't getting medical attention for it they would only get sicker. He needs to be on medication for several weeks before it works and there are many medications. He needs to find the right one though. It make take a long time. I have been dating this guy for about a year. WE get along well and have had some wonderful times. He suffers from depression that is a result of a chemical imbalance. He has tried a few samples of Paxil but because he is in the military he has not sought out further medical advice for fear of repercussions. Although up until recently he has not had a severe episode. He has been able to somewhat control it. My concern is that if he and I continue to see each other I want to be able to help him as much as possible when he becomes depressed. I've been trying to understand the illness by reading articles and books. Does anyone know of a good source for those individuals whose loved ones suffer from this illness? When he becomes depresssed he takes his anger and complacent attitude out on me. I know it is not how he would treat me if he were not depressed. Therefore, it is very important that I find some useful information. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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