about marriage...stuff...need some advice

[Peaches]

My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year and a half. Many months ago, he asked me to marry him after he came home late one night. I said yes, and then we talked and decided not to tell our families just yet because we had not been together very long.

 

I know that you don't really have to have a ring to be engaged, or just to know you want to get married. Its just that sometimes I wonder if he really meant it when he asked. Every time we go in to a place that is having a big sale on jewelry, I drop him hints and every thing. Like today, we went to Sears, and they were closing so all of the jewelry was 35% off...so I tried to steer him that way, and he said he didn't need to go over there.

 

He asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and I didn't flat out say, get me an engagement ring, but I dropped huge hints about how if I only got one thing I would be happy. I told him to ask my mom or his mom what that one thing was and they would tell him, because they both know how I feel. He didn't and I got something silly.

 

So, what do you guys think? Is he just scared to really be committed like that or what?

 

He does have an ex-wife, and she was horrible to him. She cheated and lied constantly. I have always thought maybe that was his problem, but I dont' know.

 

Sorry for my rambling, I am just confused.

 

Peaches

[Tony T]

I think you do deserve a nice engagement ring and you seem willing to accept something rather modest. Either he has forgotten the two of you are engaged, he doesn't take hints very well, he is currently having money problems or he is afraid of taking that big step of putting a ring on your finger.

 

Take your choice.

 

His ex wife being nasty to him was his choice and his fault. God gave man two legs and two feet to get away from unpleasant situations. If he's going to drag his fears and problems from his other marriage into his relationship with you, you better spend some time working on that.

 

I think I'd come right out and tell him you'd like an engagement ring, even if both of you have to make payments on it and split the cost. You've got to find out what's on his mind. If he's backed out of this thing, I think you ought to know.

[Rachel]

Marriage and a relationship are about communication. And its a TWO WAY street.

 

How is he supposed to read your mind? Ask him if he remembers that he proposed to you?

 

Then ask him if he was serious. Before you know it you may be in this relationship for 3 years, without a ring or commitment.

 

You aren't doing a great job communicating either. Tell him you arent' trying to pressure him and if he's changed his mind you understand, but you need to know.....

 

Don't be a chicken. Be direct, that's the best way.

[arthropod98]

i've got a question here . . . what was this "late night" you first mentioned?? honestly, i'm wondering the TRUE reason for him asking you at that exact moment?? don't know, just something to think about.

My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year and a half. Many months ago, he asked me to marry him after he came home late one night. I said yes, and then we talked and decided not to tell our families just yet because we had not been together very long. I know that you don't really have to have a ring to be engaged, or just to know you want to get married. Its just that sometimes I wonder if he really meant it when he asked. Every time we go in to a place that is having a big sale on jewelry, I drop him hints and every thing. Like today, we went to Sears, and they were closing so all of the jewelry was 35% off...so I tried to steer him that way, and he said he didn't need to go over there. He asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and I didn't flat out say, get me an engagement ring, but I dropped huge hints about how if I only got one thing I would be happy. I told him to ask my mom or his mom what that one thing was and they would tell him, because they both know how I feel. He didn't and I got something silly.

 

So, what do you guys think? Is he just scared to really be committed like that or what? He does have an ex-wife, and she was horrible to him. She cheated and lied constantly. I have always thought maybe that was his problem, but I dont' know. Sorry for my rambling, I am just confused.

 

Peaches