RecordProducer Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 Yes, I do now The physical confidence I aquired was draining, the confidence that comes from loving who I am inside is empowering. Very well said! You, RP- are beautiful, inside and out. I know. Just kidding! Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 I will not comment what I've noticed as it's not so easy to explain it with a few words. I never thought that you would get writer's block. and you'll see your real, imperishable beauty. I've just realised that I have been superficial my whole life. I'm off to do some crying now. Tears of joy. Link to post Share on other sites
natethegreat Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 I cheated one time in my life, on my ex GF of three years. And by the definition here, I guess it would be considered cheating "down" because the girl was not as conventionally beautiful as my GF. I was on a roadtrip with my cousin and some friends, we were all fresh out of high school. My GF at the time...easily the hottest girl in town, I mean she would turn heads of every single man AND WOMAN who saw her. Blonde and uh, genetically blessed in the chest department, let's just say. but she was the kind of person who put a lot of effort into staying beautiful....was very into makeup, maincures, going to the tanning booth, pluck her eyebrows, shopping etc. Her family was pretty rich so she had the $$$ to buy expensive makeup and clothes. She was my first serious girlfriend, and i didn't know much about girls at the time, so I assumed all females were like that too Anyway so on the roadtrip. We were basically driving from Michigan to Oregon. on one night, we'd been driving for hours and hours and were all starving, but it was very late. We finally found a diner that was still open so we went in.....there was one girl working there and said they were just about to close for the night, but we looked hungry so she would keep the place open a bit longer so we could eat. Now this girl was exact opposite of my GF. She wasnt wearing an ounce of makeup as far as I could tell, she was brunette, not a very big chest, wearing jeans and a tshirt. no one in their right mind would call her hot. But i ended up chatting w/ her after she took our orders, because no one else was there and i guess she didn't have much else to do beside wait for us to finish eating. After we were done my buds wanted to go get drunk or something. But i ended staying back with the waitress while she closed the store, just talking with her. It was really amazing, like she was really familiar somehow....and the longer i talked with her, the more attracted to her I felt. I don't know. It was just something exciting about this girl who wasn't so obsessed with how she looked and who wasn't caked in makeup.....she was real.....not superficial in any way. We ended up just walking around the town afterwards. At one point we were sitting on a bench and she was telling me about some problems she was having w/ her father....and she sort of leaned into me, and I kissed the top of her head. And then she looked at me. and we just started kissing. It was amazing.....and one thing led to another, and you can probably guess the rest. we continued the roadtrip the next day and I never saw the girl again. Anyway when my friends found out about this- they were like "WTF??? Kaitlyn (my GF) is sooo hot, that waitress was nothing special" etc etc. But after that I basically realized that i had my priorties wrong. My GF was hot, yes, and she was a sweetheart most of the time (though definitely too preoccupied with her looks)- but that relationship wasn't fulfilling. Just because she was beautiful, did not make her a better person than someone average looking. And later i felt horrible about having cheated, but at the same time I was glad it happened. Because it made me realize a lot of things. I guess my point is that just because a gal is beautiful, someone average looking may offer other things that are appealing, even more appealing than physical beauty. Just because a guy cheats w/ a girl who SEEMS to be less attractive, doesn't mean he is cheating "down". Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 great post Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 I guess my point is that just because a gal is beautiful, someone average looking may offer other things that are appealing, even more appealing than physical beauty. Just because a guy cheats w/ a girl who SEEMS to be less attractive, doesn't mean he is cheating "down". The connection!!! This isn't about cheating - down or otherwise - but I was having lunch with my brother one time, when a girl I used to study with walked into the pub (my brother and I don't do classy lunches). Ordinary looking girl, nothing obviously head-turning about her appearance etc, not wearing anything provocative, not slathered in make-up or anything like that. Anyway, she walked over to say hi, and I introduced them. We all chatted for a bit, then she went away to join her friends. Brother: "Who was that???" Me: "D'you fancy her?" Brother: (approvingly) "she looks like a dirty woman." Me: What? She's a perfectly nice girl. Brother: Didn't say she wasn't. Me: So what's the dirty woman comment about? Brother: Male intuition. It was all very intriguing, but unfortunately he wouldn't be pressed on the matter. Link to post Share on other sites
Green Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 Women dont understand what a guy finds attractive in another girl. hell a girl might have great big tits and thats why the guy cheated, or a big juicy apple bottom. Some times you just need something new because your tired of your old gf, I'm not defending the cheating down thing I'm just explaining my thoughts...... Link to post Share on other sites
natethegreat Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 I had one more thought about this..... I once asked my ex GF why she spent so much time doing nails, makeup, shopping etc. I told her people would like her even if her hair wasn't perfect, that she would be beautiful no matter what. Her reply was, she didn't care what other people thought of her- she did all that stuff because it made her feel good about herself. That never really made sense to me. Unless you stare in the mirror all day, you can't even SEE your own face, so why would it make you feel better about yourself to be covered in makeup....? What I think that means is, having other people think she's pretty is what made her feel good about herself. which means she actually DID care what they thought of her... the waitress on the other hand (who I cheated on my GF with), is probably the only female I've met who truly did not care what other people thought.... at least that is the impression I got in the short time I knew her. It's like seh didn't even CONSIDER what other people thought of her- she just did her own thing and didn't see the point in comparing herself with others. That is part of what made her incredibly sexy IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Blind Illusion Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 I guess my point is that just because a gal is beautiful, someone average looking may offer other things that are appealing, even more appealing than physical beauty. Just because a guy cheats w/ a girl who SEEMS to be less attractive, doesn't mean he is cheating "down". I think this is a great point. Physical beauty is just one aspect of things and so very subjective at that. Besides, someone even cheated on Christie Brinkley. Who would have thought that? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 Someone cheated on Halle Berry fer pity's sakes! Beauty guarantees you zip, it seems. So that I'm not being chased by America's Top Model to audition bothers me not a whit Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 I have a very dear friend who is friends with Billy Joel. Apparently, Christie Brinkley isn't the nicest woman in the world. Link to post Share on other sites
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 I have a very dear friend who is friends with Billy Joel. Apparently, Christie Brinkley isn't the nicest woman in the world. Care to elaborate on this? Link to post Share on other sites
Walking away Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 My friend knows both Christie and Billy. To coin his words, let's just say that he said that she isn't as nice as she looks....And that's all I can say about that.... See everyone? Looks aren't everything. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 Another good is the Flamming Dragon. While the woman is sucking off the man just as he starts to cum he slaps on her the back of the head and it makes her shoot cum out of her nose. Thus the flamming dragon name. That sounds real intelligent. I suggest that any moron who wants to try that first read The Sun Also Rises Link to post Share on other sites
MrsHellFire Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 I find it utterly absurd. Incredulous is the best word I can use to describe it. I remember saying, for God's sake, I wouldn't be insulted on top of being hurt, if you had picked a woman who was prettier, more upwardly mobile, who had a nicer house, who was more "together"..... Unfortunately, this has never, ever, ever been the case. For me, at least. And none of the men who slummed on me had "relationships" with the females in question. Unless you call meeting up to drink and late night hook ups a relationship. No, I'm betting that would probably make you feel worse. Link to post Share on other sites
MrsHellFire Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 This could be true. If there is such a thing as "cheating down". Sounds kinda shallow and one dimensional to me, as if looks alone make for relationships, marital or otherwise. But I think Tanbark could have a point. Since it is a gender-free thing, perhaps it is because one cheats to fulfill a need. Not to hook up with Mr or Ms. America. Exactly. Maybe that attitude alone is what makes a man stray from his spouse. Maybe he is tired of their one-dimensional and self-absorbed views on things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pink Amulet Posted August 21, 2006 Author Share Posted August 21, 2006 No, I'm betting that would probably make you feel worse. We adressed this. There is 'hurt', and then on top of that there is the blow to your pride. The insult BO refered to... Link to post Share on other sites
MrsHellFire Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 For example, I would consider myself to be quite attractive. I have been blessed with great genes, and I work hard to keep myself in good shape. However, last night I went to a meeting of "miss university", and a public introduction for us. I was completely aware of who was more or less attractive than me. I was spot on too by the level of crowd cheering I know my looks will fade over time, and I will accept moving "down" the scale of what constitutes socially accepted beauty. That's YOU. And you already seem to be obsessed with beauty, so that isn't much of a revelation. Why do you constantly have the need to compare yourself to other women? Link to post Share on other sites
JenniCajun32 Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 My husband cheated on me with escort girls and then when I was ready to end the relationship and leave, he just stopped and handed me control of everything and that was 6 years ago and the man still has less than 5 dollars in his pocket and he stays at home with me all the time and deep down I think I hate him because I seem to not be getting over it eventhough it has been almost 6-7 years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
sylviaguardian Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 There has to be a difference between men who cheat with a view to leaving and men who cheat but don't want to leave their relationship. The ones who cheat with a view to leaving might cheat 'up' but the ones who have no intention of leaving are going to cheat 'down' in some way because I guess attractive, confident women with great personalities and high esteem get offers from single guys and don't need to knock about with someone who is basically using them to flatter their ego. But 'down' could mean lots of things, not just looks. My husband's OW looked alright but her personality totally sucks and even he admitted that. Link to post Share on other sites
lyfelite Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 Hell no-- I know for a fact I'm way hotter than my MM wife. She very plain jane. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pink Amulet Posted August 24, 2006 Author Share Posted August 24, 2006 That's YOU. And you already seem to be obsessed with beauty, so that isn't much of a revelation. Why do you constantly have the need to compare yourself to other women? Well, you know, that's the thing about modelling competitions.... And the only "comparing" I do in life is regarding my work. Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 Why did cheating "down" just turn into a comparison of beauty (or lack thereof)? There are many facets of a human that can provide rating other than looks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Pink Amulet Posted August 25, 2006 Author Share Posted August 25, 2006 It certainly wasn't the intention of the thread... but they often take interesting turns on LS Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 There are many facets of a human that can provide rating other than looks. How can you be sure they are real diamonds, though? And is bigger always better? Or is it more about the number of sparkly things? Link to post Share on other sites
stoopid_guy Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 Why did cheating "down" just turn into a comparison of beauty (or lack thereof)? Several reasons. Some folks put a lot more emphasis on looks than others. Anytime you uses a word like "down" to refer to someone you need to define what "down" is. Discussions on cheating bring out pretty strong emotions. Definitions of attractive (or not) are very, very subjective... There are many facets of a human that can provide rating other than looks. Some folks have a hard time with that concept. Link to post Share on other sites
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