Guest Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Let me start off by saying I have OCD, and I think this is part of the reason I am obsessing about this, BUT. I am married and I have a small crush on a coworker. I am not even sure why. I didn't notice him for the first couple of months I worked with him, then one night I had a dream about kissing him and ever since then I look at him and think he's cute. He's not typical cute, he's sort of nerdy and akward. We've talked on the phone a couple of times, but the talk has remained totally platonic. I laugh at his stupid jokes, but we have never crossed the line in any way. I enjoy his company and I can't tell if that's what I'm attracted to or what? I don't want to cheat on my husband with him (he's not worth that, the OM that is), but I do see myself doing things so that we can talk more. The only problem is I feel myself just wanting to say "look, I think you are cute and I just wanted you to know" or "I really enjoy your company" I know this sounds stupid, but it almost seems like this dance I play with him is starting to occupy too much of my time and concentration and I thought if I got it out in the open it would help end this. I feel like if I hold this in I'll burst. I told a girlfriend, thinking that would help quench the urge to blab, but it didn't help. All she said was " yea, he IS cute." Hello, that's not helping. I can't quit my job and niether can he, but I don't want to scare him or give him a big head, but I am confused. Anyone out there have words of wisdom? Link to post Share on other sites
superconductor Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 First of all, you're not gonna burst open if you don't say anything. There will be no wet explosion and rush of goop that will come out of you. But more importantly, since you're not interested in having an affair, then what's the upside of telling him anything? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 First of all, you're not gonna burst open if you don't say anything. There will be no wet explosion and rush of goop that will come out of you. But more importantly, since you're not interested in having an affair, then what's the upside of telling him anything? I believe it's my obsessive personality that is causing me to obsess over these feelings. I would love to hang out with him, as a friend, but I get this overwhelming feeling that I want to make sure he likes me as a friend and doesn't think I am a big pain in the ass. He is so hard to read and I am not sure if he talks to me b/c he likes the sound of his voice or if he enjoys my company. It's all very confusing. The fact that he is cute is an aside. He's fun to be around and shares my interest, but he seems to be oblivious to anything. I would like to be his friend because I enjoy his company but I feel like I'm in a really bad FRIENDS episode. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Don't be his friend. You are already attracted to him. Time to treat him like an ex-smoker treats cigs - STAY AWAY!!!! And if you haven't had help for your OCD, get it. You don't want to turn into a stalker. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Don't be his friend. You are already attracted to him. Time to treat him like an ex-smoker treats cigs - STAY AWAY!!!! And if you haven't had help for your OCD, get it. You don't want to turn into a stalker. I am getting help for my OCD and I would never stalk him, I have more pride in myself than that. But I work closly with him, so staying completly away is not a possibility. Another thing I forgot to mention is that I have a jealous Hubby and he would never ALLOW me to be friends with a guy. So I may be rebeling against that. It's like if you dislike a particular food, then you go on a diet and you can't eat it. You start to crave it. You want what you can't have. You know what mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 I think that's just a rationale. Really. Stay away from the guy. Link to post Share on other sites
superconductor Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Listen (or, rather, read) carefully to our resident Outcast. She's no dummy, trust me on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 You know you are more interested than friends in him. You enjoy is company and you think he's cute. These are the ingredients of a romantic relationship. Why do you feel the need to let him know you want his friendship so bad? Why are you on LS asking about another guy (other than your H) that you think is cute? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Why are you on LS asking about another guy (other than your H) that you think is cute? If I knew the answer to that question, I WOULDN'T be here (on LS). I am not sure where any of this is coming from. It hit me all of a sudden. It came out of nowhere and I don't know how to cure myself. I am not trying to make excuses, I just feel like I feel and I can't explain it. Trust me, it's scaring me more than anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 You cure it like you cure all other addictions. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts