I knew this day might come...

[vi_pn]

I've had an ongoing relationship with this guy for over a year now, more of just a "casual sex" relationship, but we have feelings or each other. (read my other posts) We've always kinda given each other mixed signals but he's opened up to me ALOT since I first met him. He's sorta the silent romantic type whereas he'll show he cares through his actions. Well now I know why he didn't want to get too serious with someone too soon, so he wouldn't get hurt and someone else (me) wouldn't get hurt...

 

He's from a different state and was transferred here because of a job. He's mentioned awhile back that he was thinking about going back home to be with friends and family. Well just lastnight, he mentioned it again, and just then I remembered that his lease is up by the end of this month! When he told me, it got silent, I didn't say anything, just pretty much said, yah. I couldn't help but tear up a lil bit, but he didn't see me, and I didn't want to start being a drama queen. He could just tell that I got quiet, so he was trying to laugh with me, which made me laugh, so I started to forget about it. It was still in the back of my head, but I didn't bring it up again. I wanted to show him that I was strong. As we were talking he asked again where I got my rings, (he asked before not too long ago). Which I thought was odd because he doesn't usually ask questions like that. So I'm not sure where he was going with that...could that be some sorta hint? I was kinda in shock the whole time so I wasn't really talking much, but I had so much on my mind, and I wish I would've told him how I felt, but I thought he already knew...since about 6 months ago I wanted to be more with him, and he said he wasn't ready..well now I understand why.

I've always known that it's hard for him to show emotions because he has this protective shield around him, which I've learned came from a troubled childhood. Even lastnight when we were watching a movie, I was sitting on the couch, although I was taking up alot of room, (he was sitting in a chair) and I asked him if he wanted to lay down..he said no I'm alright. So I was like hmm..then 5 minutes later he came and sat next to me. I wanted to cuddle with him SO bad, but I was just happy he was sitting next to me. So it's always seemed like to me that I have to make the first move in order for him to open up..

Anyways, I don't know what he thought of me not spilling my emotions lastnight, but like I said I didn't want to appear "needy", I wanted to show him that I had a good head on my shoulders. BUT I kinda regret not opening up to him...but at that point I was kinda scared of how he would react, and I was filled with mixed emotions too, so I wanted everything to come out right. I'll probably see him again IF he decides to move, but how should I approach things? What should I tell him? Since he feels more comfortable with me making the first moves, what should I do? I want him to know that I really care and love him, what's the best approach? I think time is running out, hopefully he doesn't move, but what if he does..I'll really miss him.

 

Please help LS this is the reason why I came to this site in the first place, so posters that have helped me with my situation before, I need your advice! Even under my other name, written down below, are more posts about him. I need your support.