Marriage

[Jessica]

I have been married now for 2 months, and things have been going really badly.

 

Even before we got married things were not going well, I just thought they were wedding jitters. before the wedding we were fighting about normal wedding things. Even at the reception, the night of the wedding, we were fighting about stupid things.

 

He wasnt sitting close to me or showing me love. He did not even want to kiss me, the night of the wedding.

 

When we sleep at night, he wont let me touch him. I want to cuddle and kiss but he wont. If i touch him with my foot he gets upset.

 

We DO NOT HAVE sex, oh yeah we do, when he tells me to bend over so he can give it to me, its not like there is any sexual pleasure its just wam bam thank you mam. Its not like we make love, and I know that its not always about making love, but there has to be sometimes.

 

We are always arguing about small things.

 

Now this has turned me off him, and I have a friend, whom i am very close to and I tell her everything, cos I cannot tell him anything as he doesnt want to know, he gets mad if I talk about things sorts with him.

 

If i have problems with my family, I try to tell him, but he doesnt want to know, so I tell her and then he gets upset.

 

He hates it when I call her or see her, he says that we are lesbians because we are so close.

 

he knows that i am very insecure about my body, as I have put on weight since we have been together, and I despise strippers, BUT he went to a bucks night anyway, which really upset me.

 

This caused me to hate him even more, but then he had the nerve to comment and about my body saying that i was a fat dog after he had been to a strip club with his mates.

 

Now I will not let him touch me or look at me naked as i am afraid that he will compare me to other girls which he has done in the past.

 

My friend has been on holidays and so have i, so we have been seeing each other every single day, and he hates this, which causes problems in my marriage, but who am i going to talk to, i cant talk to myself, can I?????

 

I want to go and to things, like karaoke and clubs, and he doesnt want to do this, but as soon as his friends call, we go do what they want to do, its like his friends come first. He would be happy if my only friends were his friends wives!

 

He told me to eliminate my friend, or the marriage will not work. This is my only true friend!! I have other "associates" people to say hello, but not the connection I have with my friend. I am closer to her than I am my own sister!!!

 

Over the christmas period, there were lots of christmas parties,but he didnt want to go, so I went to my friend. Some of them went to early hours, which I know is bad, but i asked him to come, and he didnt want to come. Now he is pissed off, and keeps bringing it up....i have asked his forgiveness, and he wont accept my apology.

 

What is wrong here?????

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "What is wrong here?????"

 

Divorce attorneys' offices are closed at night, that's about all I can see wrong here.

 

But there are a few other things I will mention in passing.

 

1. The two of you fight about stupid things.

 

2. There is no love making in the marriage, just a little quick sex to get his rocks off which you do not enjoy.

 

3. He won't let you touch him at night, he won't cuddle or otherwise be affectionate in bed.

 

4. He is not affectionate. He wouldn't even kiss you on your wedding night.

 

5. There is absolutely no communication between the two of you, basically because he won't have any part of it. He actually gets mad when you bring some things up he doesn't want to discuss.

 

6. He thinks you and your best lady friend are queer for each other (lesbians).

 

7. You both are always arguing about small things. I think I already said that once. Sorry.

 

8. He prefers looking at strippers to looking at your body.

 

9. He called you a fat dog.

 

10. You are now afraid to let him touch you or see you naked.

 

11. Your husband hates to see you and talk to you every day, yet he doesn't like it when you talk to your girlfriend he considers a lesbian. DUH!

 

12. He won't do the things you want to do but he insists you go with him to do the things he wants to do.

 

13. He has given you the ultimatum of dumping your best friend, threatening that if you don't the marriage may not work. (As if it was working now...DUH!)

 

14. He will not forgive you for having a good time at Christmas parties, which he refused to go to with you. DUH!

 

Now, you want to know what's wrong here. You married the wrong guy. Your husband is a first class, two-bit, scumbag, rotten jerk. What were you on when you decided to marry him? He isn't fit for the pound. You could do better picking a career criminal off of death row. I have never heard of a sorrier marriage in my whole life. I couldn't even dream this stuff up if I had to write a soap opera.

 

Tell me you're putting me on. Tell me you have exaggerated about your husband. Please tell me he's a better guy than you have portrayed him. This can't be for real. No woman would ever come close to a guy like this.

 

Oh, tell me I'm dreaming!!!

[Lilly]

Jessica... YOU need immediate counselling. There is no way your husband has just shown his true colours to you... his lack of love and respect was there well before you got married, yet you choose to go ahead with it anyway. Why?.

 

Now, you write with your biggest issue being that he wants you to get rid of your friend... what's wrong with this picture?. He's an A class dog in everyway towards you yet your biggest worry is that he's pissed you went to some Christmas parties with your best friend... worse still, you are asking for his forgiveness?!?!.

 

You have some deep self-esteem issues that need to be dealt with, go get some counselling, one day you will believe and act as if you deserve far greater than this... until that day you will not move beyond begging for forgiveness from the scum you made a very bad choice in marrying.

[Melissa]

I am married & have been for almost 4 years. Do not accept verbal abuse from your husband even if that means leaving him. You are allowing your husband to diminish your self esteem. If he is rejecting you sexually, dosnt want you to have any good friends, and being vebally abusive by calling you a fat dog then the problem lies with him. The only decision you have to make is which divorce attorney to call. All marriages have problems & I am not an advocate of divorce, however if your husband is mentally abusing you then you have no choice. You deserve to be loved, touched & talked to in a healthy way. If you dont stop it now it will only become worse. My mother once told me ," People will treat you exactly the way you let them." Think about that. Good luck.

I have been married now for 2 months, and things have been going really badly. Even before we got married things were not going well, I just thought they were wedding jitters. before the wedding we were fighting about normal wedding things. Even at the reception, the night of the wedding, we were fighting about stupid things. He wasnt sitting close to me or showing me love. He did not even want to kiss me, the night of the wedding. When we sleep at night, he wont let me touch him. I want to cuddle and kiss but he wont. If i touch him with my foot he gets upset. We DO NOT HAVE sex, oh yeah we do, when he tells me to bend over so he can give it to me, its not like there is any sexual pleasure its just wam bam thank you mam. Its not like we make love, and I know that its not always about making love, but there has to be sometimes. We are always arguing about small things.

 

Now this has turned me off him, and I have a friend, whom i am very close to and I tell her everything, cos I cannot tell him anything as he doesnt want to know, he gets mad if I talk about things sorts with him. If i have problems with my family, I try to tell him, but he doesnt want to know, so I tell her and then he gets upset. He hates it when I call her or see her, he says that we are lesbians because we are so close.

 

he knows that i am very insecure about my body, as I have put on weight since we have been together, and I despise strippers, BUT he went to a bucks night anyway, which really upset me.

 

This caused me to hate him even more, but then he had the nerve to comment and about my body saying that i was a fat dog after he had been to a strip club with his mates. Now I will not let him touch me or look at me naked as i am afraid that he will compare me to other girls which he has done in the past.

 

My friend has been on holidays and so have i, so we have been seeing each other every single day, and he hates this, which causes problems in my marriage, but who am i going to talk to, i cant talk to myself, can I????? I want to go and to things, like karaoke and clubs, and he doesnt want to do this, but as soon as his friends call, we go do what they want to do, its like his friends come first. He would be happy if my only friends were his friends wives! He told me to eliminate my friend, or the marriage will not work. This is my only true friend!! I have other "associates" people to say hello, but not the connection I have with my friend. I am closer to her than I am my own sister!!! Over the christmas period, there were lots of christmas parties,but he didnt want to go, so I went to my friend. Some of them went to early hours, which I know is bad, but i asked him to come, and he didnt want to come. Now he is pissed off, and keeps bringing it up....i have asked his forgiveness, and he wont accept my apology.

 

What is wrong here?????