Baffled!!

[latefragment]

hey girls, i really hit rock bottom over the last couple days - not as bad as it was four weeks ago when i realized the dude was pulling a houdini but it's been my biggest relapse to the depression since then... i saw a therapist today and it was really good talking with her... i cried so much... swirly basically it's been a month since i've heard from this guy and ... i know i'm being paranoid but i'd rather not post details of it (i'll send you a pm) but i suffered for a good week & a half, the whole no sleep no eatng crying, etc.. but this is the worst relapse.

 

ugh... i am so glad you girls are here.

 

don't worry too much about me, it aint THAT bad ... i just find myself so distracted like a zombie at work all day.

[latefragment]

josalina, i forgot to mention i'm sorry ur feeling down too... i hope u got a lot of good "Me" time last night. let me know how your day is going. you know i dream of coming to england to work. just need to find a job!

 

swirly, i sent you a pm... sorry if my grammar/typing is so terrible, i took a sleeping aid to help fall asleep so i may not be as coordinated... also have been crying too... so maybe not as coherent.

 

talk to you girls later! did you get some nice new boots! i love how boots make me feel so sexy...

[swirly27]

Hello everyone,

 

Josa - I hope you are feeling better today, its friday so thats always a good thing! I hear ya on the men - when we're not looking, people are interested and we're not ready so we want nothing with them. I remember going out after my breakup 2 yrs ago and I swear my non-interest was like a perfume for men and they were hitting on me all over and I actually hated it.....but then it made me feel nice too once I started getting over that ex. But right now, I don't want anything with anyone but its nice to meet new people.

 

Late, I am sooooo sorry to hear you had a bad relapse....do you think there is a reason for this or just time? So its been a month since the last contact? Well its ok that you got down, it'll make you that much stronger when you come thru this and are over it, you'll realize how far you have come. For me its been over 2 months and I have pretty much given up hope so in a way, thats helpful for me. I feel better this week than I have the last 2, so thats a step.

 

One thing I can tell you girls that made me feel better last night was this though - if you've read my whole thread, you've known that I've had some issues with my girlfriend that is friends with the ex and how she hurt my feelings with things and opinions she has said regarding him - anyway, I talked to her last night and for the first time in weeks I asked if anyone has heard anything about my ex and she said no.....but she said she has been trying to get ahold of him! I was shocked, but the main 'reason' she was trying to contact him was because she wanted to see if he was interested in doing some work on the side that he does - she said she texted him a few weeks ago and he never answered and then she called him a couple weeks after that and left a message and he never called her back!! :-) I was soooo happy to hear this, even though it might be bratty, because she had this attitude like he's a great guy and maybe things just didn't work out and I felt like she thought it was partly me that made him blow me off....but now he blows her off too and I wanted to sing HAHAHAHAHAHA. But I didn't, but it felt good to hear that - she acted a little high and mighty when it came to him and I and now she isn't and obviously he likes to just blow people off. Anyway, so that helped!

 

Hope you girls are feeling better today. Late, I am at work but I will read your PM and get back to you. Hope seeing the therapist made you feel better, it will unfortunately just take time and time sucks as you're going thru it. We're always here for you too! Before you know it though you will start feeling better, it will just come out of nowhere. It'll happen, believe me!

 

Tonight a bunch of us are going to a scary movie so that should be fun. I did get new different boots last night and I wore them today, so I feel nice. I am doing my nails and toes and such tomorrow to feel all nice and I think getting my hair trimmed. So, I'll check back on here later and hope everyone is doing good!!

[Josalina]

oh girlies my best friend called and told me my friend have been all talking and they know i have been through the mill and knowing i can't do out much cause of my injury they offered to bring me out clubbing with them and look after me lol, so i could sit down when i needed to and they would sit with me and have a dance ever now and then. it was sooo kind of them, i really enjoyed myself and they all said it was the best night they had had out for ages, which was nice to hear. loadsa blokes chatted to me, brought me drinks, obviously not alchol as tablets im taking for pain relief but it was so nice to go out and have a blast. i got a few numbers and i met up with my old male dance partner, Ryan he is a great old friend i lost contact with, and as soon as he saw me i was lifted of my feet lol, so we exchanged numbers as friend as i went to performing college with him, so i was sooo happy.

i had guys play fighting over me and the one i prepered was so keen he rung as soon as he came out the club lol.

i made sure to tell them i wasn't looking for anything heavy only friendship as i had just come out of a serious relationship and thats not what i want at te moment, so i may of made a few more male friend which is nice.

don't think thats what they had planned but nevermind lol it suits me.

another very smart chap took a shining to me as well and gave me his number so i could text him and he would ring me back as it is a spanish number, lol he actually used to live right near me but moved to tenerif for the heat and he comes and goes from each place, nice guy but i will make it clear i am not looking for anything heavy.

 

i hope you have just as good night swirly tonight. it will do u good.

 

late have you been out recently? as it may make u feel better being chatted up and made a fuss of. but then u could do what i did and come away a little sad as i bcos my ex still don't want me. silly really but it really does upset me at times.

Late there are loads of National Health Service jobs going all the time, thats nursing, doctors, theripists etc, u could even train in this country in some places. best to look up the hospitals for that one.

unless u are already trained in something?

[latefragment]

hi josalina and swirly, just checking in with you girls after the weekend, hope you are doing ok.

 

josalina thanks for advising me to go out. no i haven't been out recently because i've felt down and had the flu. but i will be doing lots of partying this weekend bc i am going to new york for a friend's wedding!

 

=)

 

i have actually been feeling better, seeing the counselor really helped - just knowing that there is someone out there listening to my problems and who cares about helping me. it really helped.

 

i was going to go to this big party that there was a small chance of running into HIM this weekend, but i was kind of on the fence ... i really wanted to go to this big blowout party but i did NOT want to run the miniscule, miniscule risk that HE would be there. i figured that seeing as i just had a bad relapse it would not be wise to run even a tiny risk that he'd be there. in the end i had a great time hiking, spent all day hiking, and by evening i was too tired to even contemplate going out. successful day! =)

 

hope you girls had good weekends too. josalina did you go to the gym again? =)

 

this week is busy for me as i prepare to go to ny.

[Josalina]

yeah i went to the gym again, i go twice a week at the mo, will be more when i fit it in. the cute guy still talks to me but think iput him off by last weeks performance lol.

i have met a lovely young man from the last time i went out, i have told him i don't want anything but friendship at the mo, he is very sweet he still rings or texts everyday to see how i am and how my day has gone, which is lovely. i have agreed to met up with him again, but only as a mate so i am arranging my girlfriend to come out clubbing to, that way i won't be alone. he seems lovely and sweet and is very good looking but you never really know someone, so i have learnt anyway so i am taking friends with me to start with again lol.

 

glad u r going out Late NY sounds great! let me know how u get on.

 

Swirly r u ok? have u heard anymore from the ex?

 

take care girls xx

[swirly27]

Hey Girls,

 

Sorry I haven't been on much, but I its been a tad rough ever since this past weekend (I started a new thread 'Can The Guys Look At This') and part of me is getting to a point where I don't even want to think about it or talk about it anymore. I still want to come on here though and try and read other people's threads and help but this past week was CRAZY at work and home so I wasn't online much. I hope you girls are doing ok though.

 

I am having a hard time getting thru this broken heart too cause of how it is affecting my relationship with my close gf - it is really stressing me out and eventually I will need to talk to her about it, but she can be really intimidating and downright mean when she's pissed and I am not looking forward to it - plus she's pregnant, so I don't want to stress her out, but its really affecting our friendship, at least for me - it started out with insensitive and judegmental comments regarding this ex and I thought it was because she's friends with him, which doesn't make it right to be insensitive to me......but I am noticing other insensitive things she says to me thats about other things and more and more and more, I don't want to even talk to her.....but you should always know how to fight with your friends and her friendship is important to me.....she's just not an easy person to talk to......soooooo, I guess I have to suck it up and try.....or a friend suggested writing her a letter, so we'll see.

 

No I haven't heard from the ex more and I am so mixed up with feeling upset and angry. I apologized for my friends maybe acting a tad immature, but I've never heard him apologize for blowing me off and breaking my heart....and my gf trashed my friends too saying how they acted real gay, but if SHE would been out with us, SHE would have been one of the first ones staring!! Sorry, that story is in my other thread, I am just very fired up about it. lol