Guest Posted August 20, 2006 Share Posted August 20, 2006 Hi all, I need a little bit of help to get me through this, my girlfriend and i have been dating for not a long time, about 4 months now - i love her to death and i couldn't imagine my life without her, she has influenced me greatly and has helped me become more responsible, both taking better care of myself and taking care of her. The past week, she went to a party, and i was working a bit late, so was unable to attend. In the middle of the night, i got a phone call from her, immediately my heart sank, cause from the tone of her voice, i knew something was up. She told me that another guy had kissed her . She explained the situation to me, but sounded a bit, unsure at times. It started off as them meeting, talking and apparently 'just' being friends. My girlfriend is not a heavy drinker, i recall her having a lot of self control at most parties, but she told me that the guy had bet her if 'his' nfl team won, then she would have to kiss him. She told me that she didn't really take it seriously but at the same time i don't think she reinforced a 'No'. Worst comes to worse, his team does win, and you can guess what happened next. She told me that HE had kissed her, and that she 'tried' to stop him but couldn't, i had a few friends there that brought her out after what happened. She called me and we had a talk. I was so angry and heartbroken, and i really did not know how to react. She kept apologizing but still i couldn't get a grip on myself, it was the first time she had gone to a party without me, and this happened straight off... I love her soo much, and i can't understand why this happened. Up till now, i have recalled the moments in my head, and are very disturbing. Some of the friends at the party say that she played along and didn't really fight back. I don't know who to believe now, and i find it really hard to trust her. Its stupid that people who hand their relationships on a thread, just to have some fun... Plz help, i don't know what to think or who to trust, and theres a feeling in my gut which just won't settle. I am back with her now, on and off, she does seem to love me, but whos to know this won't happen again, i really can't handle the pain a second time. Link to post Share on other sites
john2776 Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 Firstly I would believe your friends. They have no reason to lie to you, but your GF has a reason to lie - she doesn't want to lose you. Ask yourself what you would do in the same situation - would you kiss a girl (or let her kiss you) if her football team won a game? My guess is "No way!" If you want to stay with her you have to explain very clearly that there is no situation in which she should be kissing someone else, and that if she ever does it again you will walk away. Regardless there is still a fair chance that she will do something else again in the future which you regard as inappropriate. If you can walk away now - but I know that is easier advice to give than to take. Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 Uhh, let's see...SHE called to tell you in the middle of the night? SHE confessed to you? I think this is something that can definitely be worked out. Also, you have been together four months...I don't think you completely "own" her yet...sorry, not being mean. Going to a party alone is no reason for distrust. I can understand your pain, but I do think it is unwarranted. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 Your friends are probably right. But I'm guessing you're both young? And you haven't been dating long. Give it a chance, if you can stand it, but keep an eye out for other signs that your gf is an attention whore. Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 Unless she tried to fight him off physically, said no or stop, and then reported him for sexual assault afterwards, then she went along with it to some degree. Ask yourself this - do you really want a girlfriend who will go along with kissing random guys if they try it on with her? The friends told you the truth, that she kind of went along with it. That's all you need to know. If you don't get rid of her now, she'll realise she can get away with that, and next time it may be a whole lot more. I say get rid of her, there are plenty of women who don't kiss random guys at parties when their bf is away. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 Hey its me again, the first poster of this thread. Thats a lot for the help, i've had some time to think about this... n well most of my friends say i should give it another shot, cos they like me have known her for quite a while, we have only been dating for 4 months, but we've known each other for about 3 years, so its not like we've started out of nothing. They've told me that normally she doesn't act that way, and its the first time they've seen her like that. Yea, i agree who knows she won't do it again, and its not alright to go around kissing other people, jus for the hell of it. Yea i agree, i don't own her, but if you do agree to start a relationship with someone, its nice to show a bit of respect and trust. But i wanna give it another shot to see how it goes, to see if she changes, cos i really do love her, despite this stupid act, the times we've had before were priceless. I'm hoping it works well, but i guess only time will tell, thx again! Link to post Share on other sites
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