What do I do now?

[fun_robot_guy]

I'm 31, she's 24. She started at my company in February, the week I was away. I saw her around but didn't care to introduce myself since I figured I'd get to know her sooner or later. I thought she was cute but figured I don't want anything with anyone I work with. A few days later I went late to a bar where everyone met up -- had never been there myself -- and as I was wandering around she came up to me and introduced herself. Very cool.

 

I didn't see her much until a few weeks later when we worked together on a project. I was starting to become rather interested. I showed her a short comedy film of mine that had gotten some attention a few years back and she didn't laugh at all. She then apologized and related a story of how a high school boyfriend was showing off his "new" car to his friends and she told him it wasn't that great and then felt bad about it. I decided that I wasn't keen on her attitude so I dropped the interest.

 

A month later she started to change the way she dressed. Every single day grabbed my eye more than the previous. I didn't talk to her outside of saying polite hellos but was feeling more & more attracted.

 

Then about 5 weeks ago, she joined a project I was working on and the way she sat just was a royal turn on. I can't explain it totally, something about the way she was acting. She laughed A LOT at every joke I made too and pointed out that I'm really funny.

 

A week later I decided to go out to one woman's barbecue and there she was. The thing is, the avg age at my company outside of management is about 25. I'm the oldest of non-management. I got all the body language signs and tested it. I kept moving around the party and she'd always be facing me. Later I offered her a beer I grabbed -- something foreign and good -- and she was happy to try it. After that she grabbed a burger off the grill -- keep in mind this barbecue was kinda sad in the amount of food. About enough for 4 but trying to feed 20. So she offered me a bite and we shared her burger. Subconcious sharing of saliva & all that. She would wander off but always ended up standing next to me.

 

So we started chatting more at work. I started stopping by her cubicle every other day to chat for a few minutes. That Friday we all went out for someone else's birthday. I showed up as everyone was finishing their food since i just wanted to join them for drinks. She offered me to share her cheesecake but had to refuse -- can't have sugar before I drink, some kind of wierd sugar imbalance/borderline hypoglycemic. She mentioned she really wanted to go to a concert coming up -- I made a mental note. Later when we were at the bar, I bought her a drink, she bought me a drink. We cracked jokes and would part ways and return. Well, I didn't really leave the table. She kept coming back to me and then going off to talk to other people and then back to me. She also mentioned the concert again but was too poor to get tix. In my drunkness I decided she was going to get tix for this show. I didn't know her well enough to buy them. So I decided I'd win them or get them from one of my old radio station contacts -- I used to DJ.

 

I tried asking her out during the week. I didn't want to do it in the building due to the obvious reasons so I said I'm going for a walk and asked if she wanted to go. She said no, that she had good momentum finally with her project and wanted to get it done. I went outside and dabbled in a little self pity. I was stopping by her cubicle to say hello once a day this week.

 

A week after the last get together, another barbecue back at the same woman's house. The girl seemed to be ignoring me a bit so I just decided to take comfort in observing the crowd, cracking jokes, etc. Still she seemed to always end up turning towards me and seemed to fight it. Kinda weird if you know the whole body language thing. FYI, I was the only single guy at this one. The other guy was there with his wife. I add this detail because I suspect it could be important, especially to any women readers who want to give me advice. As the night progressed, someone asked me who I thought was the hottest one at the company. Totally out of the blue, totally dangerous. They started naming the women around the table. With about 5 beers in me I said no, no, no...and when they got to her I paused and thought "more beautiful than hot" but said "definitely, she's the hottest one there." Not ten minutes later, I turned and she was sitting next to me. We joked around for a bit. I threw a piece of aluminum foil at her, she threw a finished plastic cup from a jellow shot at my face.

 

Oh we also were getting into these silly flirtatious arguments around the office around this time. So anyway I got up to use the rest room and when I came back she was in my chair. So I sat in hers. She put her legs up on mine and after a while I gave her a foot rub. She said I didn't have to but I said it was alright. She heard her cell ringing on the other side of the room and got up to get it. After a few she came back and put her legs back up so its not like she was trying to hint for me to stop...unless I'm really clueless.

 

She got up after awhile to get something and then we found her in the living room passed out on the couch. She'd had about 12 drinks & I about 10 myself. Others were far more drunk. Nothing more happened. I slept off my drunkness & left at 5AM as I had to be at an audition the next day.

 

So that day I had spent the day entering every radio station contest I could to win the tickets. Since I got no responses by Monday I assumed I had not won and began figuring out how to ask her out -- I'm well aware how easy it is on paper, but I'm rather full of self doubt. However Monday she was acting very flirty, girly, cute, giggling and all that. Tuesday & Wednesday she was kinda quiet and Wednesday afternoon she told me she was feeling stressed out and listed some of the issues. All rather legit. Wednesday night I got a call from the station and they said I won 2 tickets and I'd get them Friday. Thursday I decided to ignore her & see what happened. Instead of walking past my office once a day as she did, she was suddenly going past about 5-6 times. And she seemed a bit frazzled.

 

Friday I snuck out of work to drive home and get the tickets. Oh important detail I almost forgot, one of my best friends was getting married the next day, the day of the concert, so I couldn't go and couldn't make it a date.

 

So I stopped by her cubicle and suddenly felt really nervous. I said "Hey, I almost forgot. I won these the other day and can't go because of a wedding I have to go to. Thought you might want them." Only I was kinda dorky and nervous and shaking like a small dog. I'm not so great with rejection and in all honesty have not asked anyone out face to face since I was 15 -- the telephone & internet have been my friends. This wasn't even asking her out. I was worried she'd take it the wrong way. In all honesty I won it from a contest that cost me 10 cents for a text message. These are tix worth about $100 if bought but they clearly said "COMP". I have no idea if she knows what a comp ticket is. I've seen more concerts on comp tickets than I've paid for. Its all part of being in radio & tv & film. So she loooked at the tickets and looked really surprised, said "really?" "yeah. Have fun" "cool, thank you!" and that was that.

 

Now my worry was also that she'd be weirded out by what might seem like an expensive gift but was only cost me 10 cents (and time that she does NOT need to know about). Also she mentioned she might have to work that night of the show at her other job earlier in the week and was disappointed in possibly not having a weekend.

 

She did flash a smile after some disbelief of staring at the tickets which was really nice to see.

 

Then the sheet hit the fan at work. We were going to tape something and all our equipment started to break down. I suddenly had no time to eat and when my blood sugar drops I can function but I have been known to completely mishear things. I'm not crazy but low blood sugar can really simulate insanity. At one point as I was running past her cubicle looking for lights and other equipment I heard someone say "thank you so much for the tickets! I love you!" and at that moment it didn't sound like her but someone else in her cubicle area. The first thought in my mind was that she gave them to someone else. I felt upset but couldn't even stop to breathe for the next 4 hours, way after she was gone for the day.

 

Here are the possibilities 1) I freaked her out by giving her what seems like an expensive gift when we're not dating 2) She really couldn't get out of work -- her second job is working for her Mom 3) She was standing by me and said this to me and in the midst of stress and low blood sugar I completely did not see her there. I doubt 3 because given the above signs she would not say "I love you". Women say that to each other all the time when they do something cool for each other, right? 2) sucks because now in her mind I'm associated with disappointment. She had the tickets to a show she really wanted to see in her hands, given by me, and now CAN'T GO. 1) is the worst because that means any possible attraction is gone.

 

Something else bothered me that day is that two guys I worked with kept telling me the phrase "you snooze you lose" but it could have been because I was so out of it, I was making mistakes in the studio. They seemed good natured about the joke I started in my OCD way wondering about any meaning there.

 

So tomorrow I'll see her and I have no idea if I should ask her about the show, if I should keep pursuing her, was my idea to win the tickets a bad one? I really hope I didn't freak her out. She's just really, really cool and pretty and all that. I wanted a right moment to ask her out but distracted myself by trying to get these tickets.

 

Thoughts?

[fun_robot_guy]

After about 5 minutes of talking to her at work, I get nervous and sorta "run away" with an excuse that I need to get back to work.

 

She does the EXACT same thing. Well I don't know if she's nervous or just bored. If I see her in the hall, kitchen or open area, she talks and then quickly leaves. She also never stops by to say hi to me in my office. She did once when I was in the studio. However if I don't say hi to her she walks past where I'm at several times.

[Yamaha]

I don't see any big signs that she's interested other than work friends.

 

If your not against asking a co-worker out then go ahead and find out if she's interested in you.

[directx]

Hey,

here is what I would do. First, tell her the truth about your sugar situation, and tell her that you were phazing out and not sure if she went or not. When you explain the above situation, try not to sound weak or wanting sympathy.

I would go to lunch with her during the week keeping it a work lunch with nothing implied. If she never wants to go to lunch, she probably lost interest. If you do go to lunch, just keep talking.

You'll both get comfortable with each other over time and new opportunities will arise.