lovestruck234 Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 Ok........my mum and dad smoke pot. I know lots of you are probably like "Big deal, who hasn't?" but they are addicted to it, I swear! I smell it every night I come home from work, my mum is laying on the lounge like a friggen loopy! Then when my dad comes home on weekends (he works away during the week) they hit it BIG TIME! Cos I am up at Rhys' all weekend they are hitting it like there's no tomorrow. Just this weekend I came home on...Saturday night, I think and went to open the door and it was locked. I'm like "What? they never lock the door!" Mum's like "Cough cough, hang on a sec"....she answers the door reeking of pot and dad's running to the laundry to hide the bong. ARGH! They both know I know and mum has spoken to me about it. She tells me that it's for her aches and pains (She has a non-curable disease)....welll then.....what's dad's excuse? He just likes a bong every now and then?? I hate it cos Rhys knows...he kinda figured it out and they're not discreet about it and he came over for dinner last night and mum was stoned off her head! She kept missing her mouth when she was trying to put food in, she was rolling all over the table and laughing really loud. She could harldy keep her eyes open!! Dad wasn't too bad but he was still stoned as well. Also, I think mum is an alcoholic as well. During the week when dad's not home (I'm not sure about weekends cos I'm not really home weekends) she has a bottle of wine a night. One whole bottle a night!! Every single night of the week! It's ok to have a drink or two maybe every second night rigjt? But that much and that regularly?? One weekend Rhys and one of our good friends came over to my place for dinner and mum was really really drunk at the table then after dinner she just dissapeared. I'm like, to dad "Where's mum?" He's like "Ah, in our bedroom I think"....I walk down the hall and she was passed out on the bed. Sprawled out like a dead fish. It looks like she was sitting on the end of her bed and then just fell back with her legs hanging over the end of the bed.... It's just embarrasing, and not to mention dangerous for her with her sickness and everything. I told her once about her drinking...I was concerned and I said "Mum, do you think maybe with how much you drink, it's not very good for your sickness?" And she screams back at me "I'm gunna drink whenever I bloody want to, and I'm not going to have my own daughter tell me what to do! Now piss off and go get my wine bottle!!" I don't know who to turn to and I want her to stop both the pot AND the drinking!!! I HATE IT!! What should I do????????? She tells me I have no right to tell her what to do and she's just going to keep doing it... Link to post Share on other sites
superconductor Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 She tells me I have no right to tell her what to do and she's just going to keep doing it... She's absolutely right. Maybe she just needs a vacation, like the one you just had... Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 Not what you want to hear...but if I had an incurable disease, I might smoke and drink all I wanted, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovestruck234 Posted August 21, 2006 Author Share Posted August 21, 2006 She's absolutely right. Maybe she just needs a vacation, like the one you just had... But......I dunno. The only times I have ever commented on it was that time with her drinking and the time about the pot, she brought it up. I read about it and it can cause skitzsophrenia and things like that, brain damage and stuff. I care for her and her well-being, I just want her to look after herself, she lets herself get really bad sometimes... Imagine if the ball was in her side of the court...I wonder how she would handle seeing someone she loves let themselves get to such states. When she's not high, she's lower than down. She gets so depressed. She is so dependent on it. There's gotta be something better than this... Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovestruck234 Posted August 21, 2006 Author Share Posted August 21, 2006 Not what you want to hear...but if I had an incurable disease, I might smoke and drink all I wanted, too. Prolly shouldn't of left this part out, but her disease isn't fatal. She is going to have an operation on Thursday that looks promising. She has Chron's Disease. It's a bowel disease.... It isn't fatal, but what she's doing to herself is... Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 I'm sorry for what you're being put through, but it's good to see you have a sense of humor about it all. Your descriptions are hilarious. My biggest concern would be for your mum and her drinking, really. Does she take medication for her illness? That would be the one thing that'd have me worried the most. You and your sister are grown now, and maybe your parents just feel as though they've done a good job raising you and now they'd like to kick back some. Have you ever asked them to take it outside because the smell of it offends you? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 Prolly shouldn't of left this part out, but her disease isn't fatal. She is going to have an operation on Thursday that looks promising. She has Chron's Disease. It's a bowel disease.... It isn't fatal, but what she's doing to herself is... Well, see, not everyone has the goal to live as long as possible. Some people just wanna live the way they want as much as possible. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 I read about it and it can cause skitzsophrenia and things like that, brain damage and stuff. Drugs and head injuries can trigger mental disorders to develop, but it's too late for your mom, she is too old to develop one now. They usually start before age 30. It's the drinking that is ruining her body and both vice impair her ability to drive. At least make sure she doesn't expose herself to danger when she is stoned and drunk. Next, let her know that she is hurting you, that it hurts you to see her like that. That you still need a mom who will be your idol, your intellectual guide through life, your best friend, most genuine helper, and eternal support. And you don't need a mother who's stoned and passed out most of the time. You want to look at your mom and see a queen, not a bum. Make her think about it. The first step is for her to acknowledge that she should stop some day. It'll go easier from there. But until that point, you can't do anything. Link to post Share on other sites
mishy Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 Call the cops and get them busted. Honestly its so f*!*n irresponsible of them. I am so over potheads. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 Call the cops and get them busted. :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovestruck234 Posted August 21, 2006 Author Share Posted August 21, 2006 I'm sorry for what you're being put through, but it's good to see you have a sense of humor about it all. Your descriptions are hilarious. My biggest concern would be for your mum and her drinking, really. Does she take medication for her illness? That would be the one thing that'd have me worried the most. You and your sister are grown now, and maybe your parents just feel as though they've done a good job raising you and now they'd like to kick back some. Have you ever asked them to take it outside because the smell of it offends you? Yeah, she takes BIG TIME pain killers for her illness, then just drugs herself up more with the wine and the pot... I always have the urge to say something to her, but for some reason I'm scared. I don't want to start a fight...cos that's what will happen. She gets so defensive then just shuts me out or tells me to piss off. It just gets me so uptight....especially when people are over.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovestruck234 Posted August 21, 2006 Author Share Posted August 21, 2006 Call the cops and get them busted. Honestly its so f*!*n irresponsible of them. I am so over potheads. ...I shouldn't laugh but it is true... Rhys jokes about it all the time that one day they're going to get busted.... we'll be sitting in watching t.v and all of a sudden "woop woop!! come out with your hands in the air!" And there's all these men with masks on and in white suits and there's helicopters and... sorry.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovestruck234 Posted August 21, 2006 Author Share Posted August 21, 2006 Drugs and head injuries can trigger mental disorders to develop, but it's too late for your mom, she is too old to develop one now. They usually start before age 30. It's the drinking that is ruining her body and both vice impair her ability to drive. At least make sure she doesn't expose herself to danger when she is stoned and drunk. Next, let her know that she is hurting you, that it hurts you to see her like that. That you still need a mom who will be your idol, your intellectual guide through life, your best friend, most genuine helper, and eternal support. And you don't need a mother who's stoned and passed out most of the time. You want to look at your mom and see a queen, not a bum. Make her think about it. The first step is for her to acknowledge that she should stop some day. It'll go easier from there. But until that point, you can't do anything. Thank you. That was really good advice. I will TRY and build the courage up and talk to her. I just get so intimidated by her..you know....the one who rocks the cradle rules the roost?? She's my mum, she doesn't feel like a friend anymore. I used to tell her heaps before I knew she was smoking then when I found out, I just got so angry and I don't tell her that much anymore. I tell you guys instead! Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 She's my mum, she doesn't feel like a friend anymore. I used to tell her heaps before I knew she was smoking then when I found out, I just got so angry and I don't tell her that much anymore. I tell you guys instead! Serious pain is a really tough thing to deal with. If your mom is hurting enough to be prescribed BIG TIME pain killers, she probably feels like sh*t all the time. The pot and alcohol eases it temporarily, or at least lets her pass out to escape it. Being angry with her is a natural response, but compassion for her will be easier on you both. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 Being angry with her is a natural response, but compassion for her will be easier on you both. I agree but it does stink for you, Lovestruck. In a way you are taking the parenting role here, which isn't fair. But life isn't always fair, just ask your mom about how much she's suffering right now. I bet she'd say life's not fair as well. Still, she has no right to take it out on you. I think in many ways that's the drugs and wine talking. Norajane is right. It'll be much easier on you if you approach the situation with sympathy. She won't get so defensive and maybe then the two of you will improve your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
mishy Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 seriously - you don't deserve to be living in this kind of situation- they are acting irresponsibly and as i said before- *call the cops and get them busted* I don't see any other way out of this. they are acting like kids who haven't learnt about a thing called "consequences". Good on you though for seeing that this is a f*#d up situation- thousands wouldn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovestruck234 Posted August 21, 2006 Author Share Posted August 21, 2006 seriously - you don't deserve to be living in this kind of situation- they are acting irresponsibly and as i said before- *call the cops and get them busted* I don't see any other way out of this. they are acting like kids who haven't learnt about a thing called "consequences". Good on you though for seeing that this is a f*#d up situation- thousands wouldn't. Hmmm...ha ha ha trouble is...I love them and don't want to see them get hurt....especially mum seeing as she's so sick....I wish there was another way....but unfortunately..... I don't know....I know know what to do....there really is no way out, is there? (APART FROM THE BUSTING THEM PART).... Link to post Share on other sites
mishy Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 no one wants to call the cops on their parents i know. You say that you don't want to hurt your mum but really she's hurting herself and you now anyway. Pot is a depressant so i can't imagine how being depressed is helping her get thru her illness. I really think you would be doing everyone a favour if you did contact the police. I don't know how old you are? or if you have younger brothers or sisters ( i haven't read the whole thread). addiction to pot only gets worse- in my experience people have to take more and more of it in order to get the to the same level of stonedness each time. I've lived with potheads years and years ago- i know that when they got busted they slowed it down. Your mum will make herself more ill and also everyone else in the house. they seriously need to grow up. Get them busted - you will all be better off. Link to post Share on other sites
mishy Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 I just noticed you live in new south wales- ok - if I was you I would ring lifeline and get some advice or that drug advisory line can't remember the name of it - to see what you can do . Is it a big place you are living in like sydney or smaller like coffs or is it like 2 or 3000 people?????? because that would influence what you should do (obviously don't tell me where you are specifically living) Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovestruck234 Posted August 22, 2006 Author Share Posted August 22, 2006 I just noticed you live in new south wales- ok - if I was you I would ring lifeline and get some advice or that drug advisory line can't remember the name of it - to see what you can do . Is it a big place you are living in like sydney or smaller like coffs or is it like 2 or 3000 people?????? because that would influence what you should do (obviously don't tell me where you are specifically living) No no I live south of Sydney...in a VERY small town...one of those towns that everyone knows everyone else's business....you know the one? lol Population approx: 500....yeah...small.... Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 I was thinking about something today and remembered you in that context. I've noticed that you were embarrassed in front of your boyfriend for having parents like that. Instead of being proud of them, you probably feel like you belong to the bottom of the society (drug addicts and alcoholics) and you're ashamed. As much as I would agree that what we would call high-class parents certainly wouldn't involve getting stoned and making a fool out of oneself regularly, the abuse of pot and booze doesn't make your parents indecent, bad, low-class or ugly. Addictions are taboo because of their negative nature. But you have to understand that this has nothing to do with you, that you're not bad because of this, and no one will judge YOU according to your parents' poor choices. Don't be ashamed of your mom, no matter how embarrassing her behavior is. Don't make jokes about it that you don't genuinely find amusing. Your mom has a problem, not a funny habit. But you don't have a problem (other than a big concern for your mom's life). You look and act and feel like a princess and your parents' behavior won't put a shade over your shine. Until you manage (if you ever do) to help your parents escape from the claws of their lifestyle, don't feel like you (or even they) are defective. Forgive them! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovestruck234 Posted August 22, 2006 Author Share Posted August 22, 2006 no one wants to call the cops on their parents i know. You say that you don't want to hurt your mum but really she's hurting herself and you now anyway. Pot is a depressant so i can't imagine how being depressed is helping her get thru her illness. I really think you would be doing everyone a favour if you did contact the police. I don't know how old you are? or if you have younger brothers or sisters ( i haven't read the whole thread). addiction to pot only gets worse- in my experience people have to take more and more of it in order to get the to the same level of stonedness each time. I've lived with potheads years and years ago- i know that when they got busted they slowed it down. Your mum will make herself more ill and also everyone else in the house. they seriously need to grow up. Get them busted - you will all be better off. Oh.....waaaaaahhaa WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME????? Why can't I have normal parents like everyone else?? I want a mum I can hang out with every now and then...tell her secrets, and for her to listen..... She doesn't care. I try to tell her stuff, she doesn't listen, then she says "You never confide in me!! You always block me out!!"...GARGH!!!! I just don't have the heart to bust them.....I just don't. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Never. It would be better, I know. But I just can't. She found out once that I told a friend about it and she went off at me saying "You know me and your father could go to jail if this gets out??" GAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!! Well why are you doing it?????????????? Yeah, she has depression. Dad told me the other day and he;s like "We have to work together to help your mum, k? She's really sick and depressed, we have to help her..." I want to, but I don't. I'm not going to help her if she's just destructing that compassion and knocking it back in my face with her stupid pot!! Dad tells me I don't help out around the house.....Mum tells him all this over the phone during the week and he believes her and he;s not here to see it's not true. My jobs....(daily)... Feed chooks (morning and night) Feed horses (morning and night) Feed dogs (morning) Clean out stables Do the dishes Cook dinner (every second night) Tape shows on T.V if she falls asleep (which she does...no wait, just passes out) Work all the horses when I get home from work (we have 4) Then weekends tag sheep, drench sheep, clean around the house, more horses etc... And I don't help out???? Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 Oh.....waaaaaahhaa WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME????? Why can't I have normal parents like everyone else?? What makes you think anybody has normal parents??? Their wierdnesses might not be obvious to you, but their kids would disagree! "I'm saying this is the South. And we're proud of our crazy people. We don't hide them up in the attic. We bring 'em right down to the living room and show 'em off. See, [lovestruck], no one in the South ever asks if you have crazy people in your family. They just ask what side they're on." Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 If nothing else, Lovestruck, you can decide to do better for your own children when you have them. See that...parents teach their children things when they don't even realize they are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovestruck234 Posted August 22, 2006 Author Share Posted August 22, 2006 "I'm saying this is the South. And we're proud of our crazy people. We don't hide them up in the attic. We bring 'em right down to the living room and show 'em off. See, [lovestruck], no one in the South ever asks if you have crazy people in your family. They just ask what side they're on." Hee hee where is that quote from? Link to post Share on other sites
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