Guest Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 Hi, I am 24 and have been married for 6 years. The last two out of three times my husband and I tried to have sex he could not get a full erection. The problem is: 1) He looks at porn/masterbates probrably 3-4 times a week, when we have sex maybe 2 times a week. It's not that I don't want to...he usually pleasures himself before I come home from work. 2) I just found that he has a pocket pussy, I told him i found and that I was okay as long as it did not interfer with our sex life. Although his masterbation already has...this is just a new level. I have HAD to become accomadating to his porn and such....as he said he would never stop! 3) I am young, pretty, smart, an attentive wife and do not understand why my husband does not want to have sex with me. He is always so hands no...grabbing my butt and putting his hands on me, so whats the deal. Can too much masterbation cause a man to become numb to real sex and thus not be able to get an erection. I want to talk to him about it but I do not want to embaress him and make it worse. Does anyone have some advise or know where I can find some help on the internet. Thanks for your time! Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 1. Can too much masterbation cause a man to become numb to real sex and thus not be able to get an erection. 2. I want to talk to him about it but I do not want to embaress him and make it worse. Does anyone have some advise or know where I can find some help on the internet. Thanks for your time! 1. I don't know if it will make him numb to real sex, but the body can be trained to respond to a narrow band of stimuli and it could be that your H has gotten to where the greatest stimulation leading to orgasm that he can get has become masturbation. He should still be able to function with you, but would probably have some trouble getting to orgasm or keeping it up without that stimuli that he has made himself used to. NOT because there is anything wrong with you, it sounds like its all him in this situation. His body has been trained to respond strongest to porn/toy/masturbation. 2. The best thing for him to do is slow down on the self loving for a while and retrain his body to respond to yours, not just his own. If he refuses, and I mean outright refuses and continues to substitute self loving for real sex then you have a problem on your hands, so to speak. Time for some couples counseling if not individual for him. I'm not saying there is something wrong with masturbation/porn/toys, but when they take the place of sex and intimacy within a relationship, then there is a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Lennox Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 Hi, I am 24 and have been married for 6 years. The last two out of three times my husband and I tried to have sex he could not get a full erection. The problem is: 1) He looks at porn/masterbates probrably 3-4 times a week, when we have sex maybe 2 times a week. It's not that I don't want to...he usually pleasures himself before I come home from work. 2) I just found that he has a pocket pussy, I told him i found and that I was okay as long as it did not interfer with our sex life. Although his masterbation already has...this is just a new level. I have HAD to become accomadating to his porn and such....as he said he would never stop! 3) I am young, pretty, smart, an attentive wife and do not understand why my husband does not want to have sex with me. He is always so hands no...grabbing my butt and putting his hands on me, so whats the deal. Can too much masterbation cause a man to become numb to real sex and thus not be able to get an erection. I want to talk to him about it but I do not want to embaress him and make it worse. Does anyone have some advise or know where I can find some help on the internet. Thanks for your time! Yes, he can rub the thing until it's dead, and it sounds like he's on a quick trek to the place that only Viagra can patch! He's conditioning himself to respond to certain stimuli that does NOT include you. He's a sex addict. His compulsive porn and masturbation use has gotten out of control. He needs therapy from a qualifed sex addiction therapist. He needs to get rid of the porn, toys, and masturbation and concentrate on YOU. Trust me, his balls won't explode if he does this, although he will whine and cry as if they are! Just as with alcohol, there are some people that can use it casually and even get drunk once in a while and they don't have a problem. There are some people that get so out of control they are alcoholics, and those people cannot use alcohol casually. If your husband continues down the path he's on, your sex life with him will become non-existant. Do you want to live like that? Nip this in the bud as quickly as you can, or else you'll be finding yourself wasting years of your life trying to fix his problems when he doesn't want them to be fixed. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts