lula divinia Posted August 21, 2006 Share Posted August 21, 2006 How important is it to all of you that your mother Totally dig you wife or husband? I'm respectful to my Mother, I love her, I tell her all the time, do little things for her every now and then.. But she's very opinionated and likes things a certain way and in a lot of ways i feel she's VERY hard to please...Kinda like you have to walk around on eggshells for her or she'll make you feel bad. Anyway, I don't care what she thinks of my fiance yet I do know she digs her...But i also know she's not the IDEAL wife for me, in my mom's eyes... She'd love someone very outgoing and Goal oriented, someone who would really try and get to know my mom, respectful to her. My gal is nice to my mom, cares about being a good future daughter-in-law but she's scared in her presence, since she knows my mom is hard to please and judges a great deal...so it bugs her... Anyway, I'm just curious if any of y'all out there deal with anything like this? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Hmmm. In all honesty, I think that you need to start setting a precedent if you ever hope to establish your own cohesive family unit (ie. you, wife and children, should you choose to have any). How about upping your expectations of your mother (instead of letting your gal feel that she needs to kow-tow to mom)? Explain to mom that it is important to you that she make an effort to get to know your gal, and that while she can have an opinion of her own, she needs to respect yours. You are an adult who is fully capable of making your own choices, and you do not need mom's approval. The time to start setting the precedent is now! Otherwise, mom will feel that it is entirely appropriate to offer her unsolicited opinions/advice whenever she pleases, and this will ultimately wreak havoc on your relationship with your gal. Link to post Share on other sites
Roo Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 ditto the guests response I'm the wife... for years my husband allowed his family to treat himself and myself disrespecttfully, becoming parents made us both stand up and say no more... it's ugly ugly ugly, withnot much hope of getting better. Take a stand for yourself now while you still can. Link to post Share on other sites
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