A mans pov on booby staring?

[a4a]

So apprently it is fine for other men to ogle my body at any time.

 

My H does not seem to care. This weekend while working on a project a rather cute young man was giving me the stare down... making suggestive flirty comments right in front of my H to me. I thwarted the comments in a nice way but firm. Got in the car with the H and he stated he was indeed well aware of all of it.

 

Stated it could be taken as a compliment and he was not worried about the other man making such comments to me or staring.......

 

wtf is this?

 

Like he said it is kinda like a compliment because he feels like "yeah stare all you want buddy......she is mine"

 

Funny thinking back I should have just flashed the guy my boobs and offered him a bj right in front of the H.......

 

For some reason I am flaming pissed that my H has zero reaction to this.....or he just figures I would not act or react on this young mans obvious advances?

 

This is common behavior for the H....... maybe he needs a little lesson? I should let things take off with the staring and commenting? His friends even offer to have sex with me without my obvious approval of their comments......the H does not give a rip...... nice...... real sweet......

 

I am again livid at this moment with him..... so mad........

[JackJack]

Maybe he truly does not care. I'm not saying that to be mean either a4a. He does display some odd behavior I must say. Then again, maybe he likes it. Maybe he wishes you would raise your shirt and flash your boobies for all to see. What do you think he would do then? Maybe get turned on?

[a4a]

Maybe he truly does not care. I'm not saying that to be mean either a4a. He does display some odd behavior I must say. Then again, maybe he likes it. Maybe he wishes you would raise your shirt and flash your boobies for all to see. What do you think he would do then? Maybe get turned on?

 

Well I am not going to do that out of my own need for self respect....

 

I don't know...... I think he is a wimpy ass little boy.

 

This young man was making comments while working with us to me like

"you need to screw those too" "jump some more" "this wood is hard"

 

I don't think he knew that we were married.

 

Truth be told this young man gives my H a good run in the looks dept.... I refrained from commenting back because it was inappropriate to do so and the self respect thing.

 

Times like these I am tempted to take one of his friends up on a little side action offer........

 

H says if the guy would have attempted to touch me.....he would have been mad.

 

This also goes along with my H not standing up for me on an occassion (long story) but had to do with being attacked by dogs and the owner refusing to show me proof of rabies.... here I am bleeding with multiple bite wounds and H is letting this jerk moron treat me like dirt..... nice.......

 

I think he would sit back and watch me get mugged.... I am livid again with him......

 

Would you let your W be treated like this without saying a word to the man in the booby case, offers of sex, or the dog attack?

 

I do not appreciate the bad attetion from these men and have stated so clearly..... my H must be the worlds biggest A-hole? Or am I just way off base?

[JackJack]

Have you point blank asked him why? Why does it not bother him? Or if it even bothers him at all?

[2sunny]

Well, I was married to a guy that was more than attractive... you cannot be a jealous person if you live with an attractive SO. It would only spell trouble every day...

 

When we were in Mexico a few years back... this pretty gal mouthed to him from across the room "I WANT TO F*** YOU" while she was pointing to him.... OMG! My only reaction as a non-jealous type was "Is SHE talking to YOU?" He was surprised I saw it, but my response was just "well good for you honey, but no way!" Go figure - his macho response was "I STILL got it!"

 

I hate the male ego sometimes....

[Asafan]

Oh, my A4 not good. Something is defintely not right. Generally, I do not mind if I catch a guy checking my wife out. I kind of like it, it makes me feel good that someone else wants what I've got. However, if anyone ever made those kinds of comments, I would be on him like stink on ****, like white on rice. I'd be really pissed.

[Moose]

I don't know...... I think he is a wimpy ass little boy.

Well, I don't know, but with a comment like this one, do you really need someone sticking up for you?

 

Maybe he doesn't get too excited cause he knows you'll take care of your self, and he may be infringing on your capabilities.

Times like these I am tempted to take one of his friends up on a little side action offer........

But would you? I think your hubby has confidence in you that you wouldn't.....so why get worked up about it.

 

Surely you don't want him to become a smotherer......

H says if the guy would have attempted to touch me.....he would have been mad.

THAT should tell you something.

 

Again, the dog incident, maybe he knew you'd take care of it.

I do not appreciate the bad attetion from these men and have stated so clearly..... my H must be the worlds biggest A-hole? Or am I just way off base?

I think you're reading too much into this....

[JackJack]

I agree. I don't mind if a guys look at my g/f sometimes, and I take it as a compliment. Kind of like you can look but can't touch shes going home with me type of situation. But for people to make comments and a womans husband or partner to just sit there and not say anything about the comments being made is ridiculas. If that were me and I were to say nothing and let men make comments like that, I would have to say I simply either did not care, or was purposly trying to sabatoage the relationship to piss her off so she would end things, so I wouldn't have to. Some peole are like that, they want out but don't know how to say it so they do things to try get the other person to end it. JMO.

[stoopid_guy]

Oh, my A4 not good. Something is defintely not right. Generally, I do not mind if I catch a guy checking my wife out. I kind of like it, it makes me feel good that someone else wants what I've got. However, if anyone ever made those kinds of comments, I would be on him like stink on ****, like white on rice. I'd be really pissed.

I'd be "take her, she's yours!!!" (Bad SG, bad-Bad-BAD SG!!!)

 

But seriously, yeah. Glancing is one thing, staring; no way. Comments? depends. If they were good natured, funny, and respectful, sure. If it was "I got a lolly-pop for ya, baby." I'd rip off his lolly and feed it to him.

[Asafan]

But seriously, yeah. Glancing is one thing, staring; no way. Comments? depends. If they were good natured, funny, and respectful, sure. If it was "I got a lolly-pop for ya, baby." I'd rip off his lolly and feed it to him.

 

Yeah, exactly. Comments like that guy was making to you would have at the very least cause me to say, "Hey guy, that's my wife yer talkin to". Anything further after I spoke up other than "Oh, gee sorry, didn't realize", is an a**whopping offense.

[2sunny]

well - just bend over and let him take you - while hubby stands by to watch... that might spice up the marriage... ooops, did i type that? he he

 

ps.... were you wearing a skirt with no unders? :lmao:

[quankanne]

sounds like your husband, while well aware of what that other guy said to you, knows that you're a strong enough girl to handle it on your own. Because, a4a, you come across as one tough cookie who doesn't take shxt from anyone, nor who needs anyone's protection. His not stepping in pretty much confirms he sees you that way, too.

 

tell him that you need for him to stick up for you, otherwise, he's going to continue treating you like the feisty, independent woman he knows can take care of things herself.

 

out of curiousity, how would you have felt if he stepped in each and everytime he thought another guy was hitting on you or he felt you needed "saving"? My guess is that he knows you'd hate being corralled that way, so he doesn't, out of respect to you.

[a4a]

Oh, my A4 not good. Something is defintely not right. Generally, I do not mind if I catch a guy checking my wife out. I kind of like it, it makes me feel good that someone else wants what I've got. However, if anyone ever made those kinds of comments, I would be on him like stink on ****, like white on rice. I'd be really pissed.

 

Let me ask you this then ....... if your wife was just literally mauled right in front of your own two eyes by two dogs, and the person in charge saw it, refused to hand your wife the paperwork on the dogs to find the owner and to see if the dogs had rabies vaccinations.....then said person started treating your wife like crap...... playing "keep away" with paperwork (literally) would you stand back and just watch it? Or would you have decked the big fat ******* and demand he hand over the paperwork?

 

This happened in front of 20 + witnesses.... 2 dogs escaped known as vicious and ran directly to me and attacked me.....not little bite...huge multiple gaping wounds on both legs and my arm....... (I took it well tho......stood my ground and just let em rip into me..... ya cannot beat dogs at animal refugee camp even if they are running loose and known to be vicious.....not good PR for the bitee)

 

He stood there and watched this man (volunteer without any authority) not allow me to see the paperwork on the dogs as the guy was one of those ACTIVIST types... knowing the damn dogs were not vaccinated and could face euthanasia. Needless to say I was on my own with this whole encounter.....H just stood there...... later he did help me wrap the damn wounds up..... Come to think of it, you know he never even tried to ask me if I wanted to go to the hospital.......not that I would have but never even an offer or ounce of concern.......

[a4a]

Yeah, exactly. Comments like that guy was making to you would have at the very least cause me to say, "Hey guy, that's my wife yer talkin to". Anything further after I spoke up other than "Oh, gee sorry, didn't realize", is an a**whopping offense.

 

 

I agree......that should be exactly what he should say.

 

I do not think he needs to start a fist fight with every guy who looks at me ........far from it. I have stated this to him as well........clearly.

 

But time and time again I have told him it makes me feel very uncomfortable when men do this.."rude comments"....and even more so when he is present because it is disrespectful to him and our marriage. IMHO.

 

 

Sunny:

As for the chick on the airplane mouthing things to your H on the plane.... I think I would have held up a $5.00 bill and mouthed " all I got is a 5......do you have change honey?"

[Touche]

Completely agree with Quank. You're H was drawn to a very strong and independent woman. The type of men who are drawn to those types just don't act all protective. They're not usually the "nurturing" types. At least that's my opinion.

 

Those types of men..the type of man you want him to be, are usually attracted to the frail or stereotypical female. Does that make sense?

 

You have to decide whether you can accept him pretty much as he is or move on, A. It sounds like you're almost trying to turn him into someone else. Hey, I've tried that! It just doesn't work.

 

Love him for who he is or let him go. Sure you should expect certain common courtesies in a marriage...like initiating sex sometimes and remembering your birthday or anniversaries but beyond that, you really have to decide if you can accept him as he fundamentally is.

 

On a side note, because I think you'll get a kick out of this: My birthday is coming up next week and H said yesterday "I'm not getting you anything for your birthday." I said, "No, don't. You know what I always get."

 

I always get a two pound lobster (YUM) on my birthday. I didn't think a THING of him saying that to me. He used to buy me gifts that were just not right for one reason or another and I told him years ago to forget it. That he doesn't have to do a thing but let me get my lobster and take care of our son on that day.

 

He's happy. I'm happy. It's all good.

 

I guess I could have bytched and moaned that his gifts were always all wrong for me but instead I just told him to not bother. Two years ago, I got my lobster AND a brand new laptop. I kissed him and thanked him for my gifts. He had to ask me what I got.

[ThumbingMyWay]

OK a4a

 

 

this like the 10th time you have commented on guys checking out your boobs.

 

I say you post a cleavege pic so we can all get a better visual to help us help you in your situation.

 

 

and for the record....I hate it when other guys look with lust at my wife....

 

but my wife loves attention......so what am I to do....I am jealous at times...and she dont like it when I say something....but when i dont say somehting she thinks I dont care....WTF is it with women?

 

oh...and Its OK for a young hottie to check her boobs out...but when drunk George does it she dont like it....WTH?

 

I dont think I will every understand the way women think....its like they have exceptions to everything....there are no absolutes

[Asafan]

Let me ask you this then ....... if your wife was just literally mauled right in front of your own two eyes by two dogs, and the person in charge saw it, refused to hand your wife the paperwork on the dogs to find the owner and to see if the dogs had rabies vaccinations.....then said person started treating your wife like crap...... playing "keep away" with paperwork (literally) would you stand back and just watch it? Or would you have decked the big fat ******* and demand he hand over the paperwork?

 

This happened in front of 20 + witnesses.... 2 dogs escaped known as vicious and ran directly to me and attacked me.....not little bite...huge multiple gaping wounds on both legs and my arm....... (I took it well tho......stood my ground and just let em rip into me..... ya cannot beat dogs at animal refugee camp even if they are running loose and known to be vicious.....not good PR for the bitee)

 

He stood there and watched this man (volunteer without any authority) not allow me to see the paperwork on the dogs as the guy was one of those ACTIVIST types... knowing the damn dogs were not vaccinated and could face euthanasia. Needless to say I was on my own with this whole encounter.....H just stood there...... later he did help me wrap the damn wounds up..... Come to think of it, you know he never even tried to ask me if I wanted to go to the hospital.......not that I would have but never even an offer or ounce of concern.......

 

Depending on how big the guy was I would have decked him and taken the paperwork from him. If he was bigger than me, I would have gotten a bat or something and then decked him and taken the paper work.

 

I'm not just saying this because its an anonomous internet thing and I'm trying to come across as a macho man. If that exact thing had happened to my wife, I certainly would not have just stood there. I would have been NUTS with worry about rabies and her welfare and called the cops, ambulance, and anyone else I could think of. I don't care how tough you come across or how well you can take care of yourself. When it comes to S*** like that, you act. I can totally see why you think less of him as a man. Any woman would see her man that way in the same situation.

[JamesM]

First...kindly said, you carry alot of anger towards your husband...my personal opinion from reading your many threads which point out the many things he does wrong.

 

How would I respond? Staring is one thing, suggestive language goes too far. I would be angry because it would be disrespectful to my wife and me. On the other hand, it would be a compliment to her as well. But to me, I feel that if I am with a man and his wife, he deserves the respect that this is his wife...even if I have flirted with her and he is not around (not saying that I have). Men don't do that to each other...unless they think the woman can do better than who she is with.

 

As for staring, this I view as more of a compliment...if not overdone. But if it is done in a rude/ undressing way versus a "wow...sexy" way, then this can be a bit disrepectful to my wife. This is a "I think I can get into your pants" type of stare. That kind of staring gets a glare from me.

 

So, it depends on the situation.

 

Regarding the dogs....it seems that your husband doesn't stick up for you at all. Why? Unless he read this Board...just kidding. My personal feeling regarding you and your character is that you can defend yourself quite handily. He may like that in you. Some women are offended if their husband fights their battle. I know my wife is quite capable of handling herself. However, she certainly would like my support in situations where she needs to "fight."

 

But...if he is not doing what you think he should be doing, then once again, he is not the husband that you want.

[Guest]

I agree with some of the others. Maybe he knows you can hold your own. So why should he make a big deal of it? of course it would be nice for a husband or wife to stick up for their mate, not knock someone out or anything, but maybe just say something to show them they care or don't want someone else gawking at their spouse etc. I think either think of it as he knows you are a tough lady and can hold your own, or seperate, cuz it sounds like from this post and others you have made, you're not happy. And he hits me as the type that wouldn't go to counseling anyway to help work through things anyway.

[Blackfrost]

Staring is one thing (and yes alot of men are proud when their SO gets looks). I like seeing the wife get oggled too.

 

Being present and witnessing when rude comments are made to my wife will get that person in more trouble then they've ever encountered - especially if the jackass tries to be tough when I step up to him and ask him to show some respect.

 

Sounds like your man needs to make his presence felt a bit more seriously when comments are made - that's just not acceptable in my opinion.

[a4a]

 

You have to decide whether you can accept him pretty much as he is or move on, A. It sounds like you're almost trying to turn him into someone else. Hey, I've tried that! It just doesn't work.

 

Love him for who he is or let him go. Sure you should expect certain common courtesies in a marriage...like initiating sex sometimes and remembering your birthday or anniversaries but beyond that, you really have to decide if you can accept him as he fundamentally is.

 

 

Well this is not who he was before we got married. See that is why I am pissed. He is the one saying " This is not me".... he says that......not me.

 

He says " I plan on doing all these things then I just don't"

He does nuture me if I am sick..... get the flu and he will stay home from work and sit on the edge of the bed.

 

Trust me I am not looking for a cave man bar fighting redneck.....far from it.

But there is middle ground........ and he seems to think that because it does not bother him my feelings should not differ from his.

 

He is protesting my moving out... he is protesting separation..... he is crying....boo hoo....... more promises and no action on his part.

 

I am not looking to change him...... hell I told him I have no right to do so.... nor would I want to......but like he says "this is not how he is". However I think he lied and basically made a load of false promises just to marry me.

 

I swear it feels like I just found out he has cheated on me...... it is that same damn feeling..... I just cannot figure out why it should feel like that.

 

anger and hurt.......

 

so I guess I am in the stages of reaching towards logic to move the hell outta here.

[Guest]

She whoops his ass so to speak. She is tough, she keeps him in line and don't take any sh*t, ands then wonders why he wont do/say anything for/to her. He is scared thats why!! You want him to stick up for you? You want him to initate things some? Then you have to stop putting on this tough persona. Ok so you might really be tough, but you have a "I'll kick your ass if you move wrong kind of attitude. he might like that, but maybe only to a point.

[a4a]

Regarding the dogs....it seems that your husband doesn't stick up for you at all. Why? Unless he read this Board...just kidding. My personal feeling regarding you and your character is that you can defend yourself quite handily. He may like that in you. Some women are offended if their husband fights their battle. I know my wife is quite capable of handling herself. However, she certainly would like my support in situations where she needs to "fight."

 

But...if he is not doing what you think he should be doing, then once again, he is not the husband that you want.

 

JFC........... I was mauled........not bitten..... if I was not trained for years on how to handle it and ran I may be dead right now. These were not poodles....one was a shep pit mix.....the other short but large dog...

 

I could have gotten freakin rabies......this was smack in the middle post Katrina ........ yeah I can defend myself...... nice.

 

I suppose he would sit and watch me get raped too...... unreal.

 

You know I may joke around on here.... I weigh a freaking 116 lbs.... probably if soaking wet...... and sure it is fine to litterally let your wife get thrown to the dogs and be mauled...... hummm maybe I was in shock??

 

OMG......... do you really think I stab him in the head with a fork or what?

 

Humor is a coping mechanism......

 

I am ****ing devestated right now...... but not to worry I am tough.... I will just deal with it...... yeah.... typical.... no wonder I have to laugh.... what the hell else is there to do?

[PandorasBox]

I'm sorry you are going through this a4a. You do seem like a tough cookie as someone else said earlier. Maybe thats what it is, do you think he is sort of scared of you? Not saying that to be funny, I'm serious. Maybe he knows you can do for yourself and becasue you have that tough exterior he feels he shouldn't do or say anything? Not that its not right, because its not.

[michelangelo]

Maybe he doesn't want you to know it bugs him that guys hit on you.

 

Maybe it has happened so much he is numb to it.

 

Maybe he just flat out trusts you.

 

Maybe he figures he cannot control the actions of every guy who looks at tits.