Is he playing with my heart?

[Cherokee21]

I'm having such a hard time shaking this guy.....

 

I would normally never agree to a booty call, but about 6 months ago I was going through so much with my abusive ex....and ALL my friends were begging me to leave him. He was having problems with his drinking and a few arrests were made. I needed someone to have physical contact with, just temporarily to pass time. I started a new job at a hardware store where a lot of college kids in my area work. I met a 21 year old ex marine who worked with me. He had a lot of confidence, and he was pretty nice so I was attracted to that.

 

I gave him my number, explained my situation. He explained how he had just gotten out of a 4 yr with a child, that involved his ex cheating on him and her parents dissapproving their relationship constantly. So we bluntly agreed that we should just use each other as a booty call, since we were both attracted to each other but tied up in too much outside drama.

 

He warned me not to fall for him. And I didn't let myself because I knew I was emotional from everything that had been going on lately.....

 

I was worried about my ex bfs health and mine. I felt so guilty. He is a very good looking guy from a wealthy family, a guy who everyone believes has the 'world in his hands'. But deep down his pretty unhappy and self destructive. And even though he wasn't trying to make me feel bad, I cried almost every night.

 

I got a little closer to my new "friend". I was coming over more, and not just late at night. He asked me to go out with him a lot. But we still kept our distance. I used every ounce I had to not believe a word coming out of his mouth, but he was good. He said in the begginning that he didn't want me to fall for him, that he was looking out for me. But then he began playing with me, and telling me that he 'loved me', etc. I was becoming good friends with his, and they started warning me....and trying to make him look bad. They said things like 'Why are you with him, you are too good looking for him?' etc. Kind of flirting with me, but making a point as well..... He was kind of becoming my escape and I didn't even realise it. I wasn't coming home much as I was staying over at his place a lot, and my dad was getting worried. I was trying so hard to pull back, but every time I did he pulled me in closer.

 

One night he had a party at his place. I was drinking heavily as I usually do not... and I overheard someone talking about how he had sex with a girl 2 nights before. I tried to act nonchalant, but as I drank more and more the tears started flowing and my feelings came out. I was hurt and I couldn't hide it. We had a talk, and I said something that I meant to be nice, but came out the wrong way. I told him that I only "used him" at first to get over my ex, but that I was glad I got a good thing from it. He was offended, as I'm sure I would be too. But I told him that I loved him. He told me that he really had genuinely fallen for me too. And he even told me the next day when he was sober that he meant it. But soon enough after that night the calls diminished, and he moved on. I continuted to text him regularly over the summer. Just to say hi at first...but then to say things like 'Are you trying to drive me crazy?' etc. No nagging, just general questions that he could answer if he were man enough.

 

So we are back at school now. I got fired from the hardware store in the middle of the summer, and he quit. He has moved on, I am back with my ex....after 5 months he is doing SO much better. Its incredible. I still send my "friend" texts... and sometimes he will reply. I have started to see him a LOT at school and he always stares me down even though I am with my boyfriend who wants to kill him. They a little bad run in at a bar a few weeks ago, due to him and his friends hollering at me.... I couldn't type the whole thing..

 

But this is what absolutely KILLS me. He has a new girlfriend. Out of nowhere he has met some girl...which is great but it just doesn't piece itself together right. She is the same age as me (19). From what I have heard/seen she is VERY clingy, not very attractive, and more or less nothing special. A lot of his friends said I was the best thing he could ever get. Looks + personality, and they call him "idiot boy" for dissing me. But some have told me that the only reason why he has a new girlfriend is because his babys mama has a new man,...Kind of just to show her up. He is still not over her, as it has been about 4 months since THEY have seen it each too.

 

I see him and his girlfriend a lot now. And I'm still not over him. He got me emotionally attached to him, and I've had a terrible time getting over him. Not to mention my boyfriend HATES him, and they have a class together which his new girlfriend is in too.....

 

Was he scared of me? What did I do wrong? Why did he make me fall for him? He seemed like a genuinely nice guy... He warned me in the beggining but then switched things around and made me believe he wanted a relationship. By the way he looks at me as we cross each other between class, I think he is eager to see me again. He doesn't take his eyes off me even though he has a girlfriend. We send each other funny pictures on myspace....and he put his song as Hinder "Better than me" which has lyrics "I think you deserve much better than me. After all the lies that I made you believe", etc. Is that a hint? But if he is trying to send me that messege, why does he still text me and act like we are best friends even though we basically cannot talk in person....since his gf has NO idea about us ever being anything and my boyfriend does not like him.

 

Please give me your insight. What would be your best advice in this situation?