Is this girl likeley to hurt me at some point

[audiracer]

I have bee with my girlfriend for over two years now and we got engaged a few months ago. I am 37 and she is 31.

 

I know quite a bit about her past. She has been married twice and has one child to her second husband. Now I know that she cheated twice on her second husband and I also know he was cheeting on her but she only found this out a few weeks ago. Her 8 year old daughter spilt the beans.

 

I was married for 12 years and the marriage just fizzled out. I did not love my wife anymore and it was time to move on. I never cheated on her and she never on me. We trusted each other.

 

The thing about my gf is that she is a flirt and she admits that. I also understand that as well. But what bothers me deeply is the fact that she cheated on her second husband on more than one occasion and had nurmerous sexual partners and that she is too afraid to tell me how many. That's the truth.

 

But I like love this girl and she loves me. Everyone we know knows how happy we are. Her family are always saying how happy she has been since she met me etc etc...

 

Is it likley that she will cheat on me. Once a cheater always a cheater etc. She has flirted while I have been with her and on one occasion quite serioulsy which really pissed me off. I nearly finished it between us.

 

I don't want to be made a fool of. She is kind of stupid when it comes down to men. A little naive infact so this worries me. I have tried to educate her regarding certain aspects of her flirting and we have discussed it quite a bit. We talk a lot even now which is good.

 

I'm not a jealos person but when I am put into certain situations which are beyond my control then yes, I do feel a little bit like that. But so does she.

 

Is something that has happened in her past that makes her like this or is it just because she thrives on male attention. She is a good looking girl. I know that and so do other men. I get attention also from other girls but I do not give away the signals that she does.

 

Any comments would be welcome!

[Bryanp]

I am sorry but just look what you have written. You are going to be her third marriage. She cheated numerous time on her second husband. She is a flirt and does not try to hide it. She even flirted very seriously in front of you almost ending the relationship. She is really stupid when it comes to other men. Put this all together and what do you have? A making of a huge disaster. What will happen when you get in fights which you will and other men try to hit on her. She is a serious flirt who has cheated in the past. I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to figure this one out.

 

She even seriously flirted with another man in front of you and you have been forced to have serious talks about her flirting? This is someone you wish to marry and you know down deep she has all of the characteristics of an untrusthworthy person. People do not like to here this but it is oh so true: past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. The fact that she is a serious flirt and is according to you very stupid when it comes to men is a receipe for her third divorce. Open your eyes before it is too late. The chances are great that you will be paying a huge price down the line.

[superconductor]

Hey... if you get to race Audis for a living, pretty much everything else pales in comparison.

 

Take a long weekend away. Head to Mosport for the LMP1 weekend.

[Guest]

I am sorry but just look what you have written. You are going to be her third marriage. She cheated numerous time on her second husband. She is a flirt and does not try to hide it. She even flirted very seriously in front of you almost ending the relationship. She is really stupid when it comes to other men. Put this all together and what do you have? A making of a huge disaster. What will happen when you get in fights which you will and other men try to hit on her. She is a serious flirt who has cheated in the past. I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to figure this one out.

 

She even seriously flirted with another man in front of you and you have been forced to have serious talks about her flirting? This is someone you wish to marry and you know down deep she has all of the characteristics of an untrusthworthy person. People do not like to here this but it is oh so true: past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. The fact that she is a serious flirt and is according to you very stupid when it comes to men is a receipe for her third divorce. Open your eyes before it is too late. The chances are great that you will be paying a huge price down the line.

 

That was what I was expecting to be honest. We are expecting a child in a few weeks as well so this makes things even worse then.

 

She also wants more kids after this. She says that I give her the impression that I could just walk and go if I got fed up. Yes this is true but now a baby is on the way and this make things a little more difficult. I must say that this serious flirting was very early on in our relationship and she has never done it since. And this was at a new Year Eve party a couple of years ago. She does not really go out because she has lost contact with friends. Nothing to do with me!

 

But there is this nagging in the back of my mind! But we have to understand the reasons for her cheating. She said that this was towards the end of her relationship with her second husband. They never had sex etc and then they split up. As soon as she left he moved his new girl in so they were both cheating.

 

I myself have given up quite a lot and so has she. She gave up her house to move in with me etc.

 

So what do I do. Wait until the baby is born and then wreck the relationship? How the hell do I get out of this. Force her to cheat so it gives me an excuse.

 

Please give me some advise on how I can solve these issues because I don't know what to do for the best yet!

[audiracer]

I am sorry but just look what you have written. You are going to be her third marriage. She cheated numerous time on her second husband. She is a flirt and does not try to hide it. She even flirted very seriously in front of you almost ending the relationship. She is really stupid when it comes to other men. Put this all together and what do you have? A making of a huge disaster. What will happen when you get in fights which you will and other men try to hit on her. She is a serious flirt who has cheated in the past. I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to figure this one out.

 

 

She even seriously flirted with another man in front of you and you have been forced to have serious talks about her flirting? This is someone you wish to marry and you know down deep she has all of the characteristics of an untrusthworthy person. People do not like to here this but it is oh so true: past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. The fact that she is a serious flirt and is according to you very stupid when it comes to men is a receipe for her third divorce. Open your eyes before it is too late. The chances are great that you will be paying a huge price down the line.

 

 

That was what I was expecting to be honest. We are expecting a child in a few weeks as well so this makes things even worse then.

She also wants more kids after this. She says that I give her the impression that I could just walk and go if I got fed up. Yes this is true but now a baby is on the way and this make things a little more difficult. I must say that this serious flirting was very early on in our relationship and she has never done it since. And this was at a new Year Eve party a couple of years ago. She does not really go out because she has lost contact with friends. Nothing to do with me!

But there is this nagging in the back of my mind! But we have to understand the reasons for her cheating. She said that this was towards the end of her relationship with her second husband. They never had sex etc and then they split up. As soon as she left he moved his new girl in so they were both cheating.

I myself have given up quite a lot and so has she. She gave up her house to move in with me etc.

So what do I do. Wait until the baby is born and then wreck the relationship? How the hell do I get out of this. Force her to cheat so it gives me an excuse.

Please give me some advise on how I can solve these issues because I don't know what to do for the best yet!

[Ripples]

How the hell do I get out of this. Force her to cheat so it gives me an excuse.

 

Now that's scary. Do you want to try to work things out? Are you just looking for a way out of your relationship?

 

If you do want to work it out, then look, she's changed already. You've just admitted it. Ok, she, maybe has some underlying issues, but it's not the end of the world. Don't dream up something that you don't know for sure, is true. It really is possible for someone to change a pattern of behaviour.

 

I think you guys need some expert advice, couple counselling would be a good move, I reckon.

[audiracer]

Hi, thanks for that. Of course I want to work things out.

 

I'm just confused. I do love her so much but I just wanted an honest opinion on her behavior in the past.

 

The first reply I got was a bit of doom and gloom and I was expecting that, but at the same I was also expecting the reply that you had given. This has eased my fears.

 

I think she has changed and she has also learnt some very hard lessons that she would be so stupid to put herself through them again.

 

When we first met it was very difficult. I had not long split with my wife and she was also going through some stuff, but we pulled through together to where we are now.

 

I just hope it works out.