Your NOT going to believe this one "My Wife Is Cheating" - please help!!

[neil]

My wife and I both work at a huge legal firm. She is a secretary and I manage the network and make quite a bit of money.

 

My wife lost 75 lbs and looks great. She loved the compliments and looks from other guys. One day she was really down on herself so I sent her an email from one of my anonymous web email accounts saying:

 

"Gosh I saw you months ago and I just saw you today. Boy you look great! Keep it up whatever you're doing".

 

Later that day she was so happy. She told me about it. She was on cloud 9 from getting a compliment from a stranger. However something happened, she responded back wanting to know everything about me (my alias). Questions like my looks, marriage and such.

 

I refused to answer it but after it was eating away at me for a couple weeks. I replied to her. I said that I was married, planning to be an attorney. I needed to know what she was getting at. Well she just wanted to email me like a pen pal. Harmless right? Really screwing up my mind. I found out stuff that I really didn't ever or wanted to know.

 

Pretty soon I was going along for the ride. My wife had never talked this way before. It was kind of like a car accident... you don't want to look but you had too.

 

I found out alot about her. She slammed me (the real me, her husband) and my family BIG TIME! She refers to her husband as a Big time loser froma snobby family. I hated to hear it but I could not turn a deaf ear to her feelings.

 

Over the course of a couple months it was her and I writing stories followed by dirty stories, fantasies of hers and THEN she sent me pics of her nude with our digital camera!! Most explicit poses too! She now claims to love me (my alias) and wants to come down to Florida to cheat on me (her husband). She already has the cover-up story and girlfriends to verify her lies in place.

 

Please keep in mind:

 

When I met her she was living in a dumpy 1 room apartment, driving a broken down Escort and extremely heavy (weight).

 

Now I bought her a New BMW, she lives in my 4bdrm. townhouse with an ocean view. We have a cleaning lady every other day and we eat out OR I cook. Our sex is great when we have it, no fights. Her family is intimidated by mine. My family has old money, hers live in a mobile home.

 

My Question Is:

 

Should I let her go. Should I stop email contacts and forget about it (afterall I asked for it.. OUCH!). My gut tells me to let her go and find some girl who thinks she is not settling for someone. She always says that there are plenty of lawyers that would lke to go out with her. I always say..... "There's the door ... write when you get work."

 

Any help would be greatly appreciated. I realize i shouldn't have done what I did but now i am hurting. I wonder how many other people would want to find out EVERYTHING about their spouse. I guess the old saying "what you don't know won't hurt ya" really makes sense here.

 

So there it is a makings for and ABC Saturday night movie.

 

"My wife is cheating on me with me"

 

Please help, what would you do?

 

- Neil

[jasmine]

My wife and I both work at a huge legal firm. She is a secretary and I manage the network and make quite a bit of money. My wife lost 75 lbs and looks great. She loved the compliments and looks from other guys. One day she was really down on herself so I sent her an email from one of my anonymous web email accounts saying: "Gosh I saw you months ago and I just saw you today. Boy you look great! Keep it up whatever you're doing". Later that day she was so happy. She told me about it. She was on cloud 9 from getting a compliment from a stranger. However something happened, she responded back wanting to know everything about me (my alias). Questions like my looks, marriage and such. I refused to answer it but after it was eating away at me for a couple weeks. I replied to her. I said that I was married, planning to be an attorney. I needed to know what she was getting at. Well she just wanted to email me like a pen pal. Harmless right? Really screwing up my mind. I found out stuff that I really didn't ever or wanted to know.

 

Pretty soon I was going along for the ride. My wife had never talked this way before. It was kind of like a car accident... you don't want to look but you had too. I found out alot about her. She slammed me (the real me, her husband) and my family BIG TIME! She refers to her husband as a Big time loser froma snobby family. I hated to hear it but I could not turn a deaf ear to her feelings. Over the course of a couple months it was her and I writing stories followed by dirty stories, fantasies of hers and THEN she sent me pics of her nude with our digital camera!! Most explicit poses too! She now claims to love me (my alias) and wants to come down to Florida to cheat on me (her husband). She already has the cover-up story and girlfriends to verify her lies in place.

 

Please keep in mind: When I met her she was living in a dumpy 1 room apartment, driving a broken down Escort and extremely heavy (weight). Now I bought her a New BMW, she lives in my 4bdrm. townhouse with an ocean view. We have a cleaning lady every other day and we eat out OR I cook. Our sex is great when we have it, no fights. Her family is intimidated by mine. My family has old money, hers live in a mobile home.

 

My Question Is: Should I let her go. Should I stop email contacts and forget about it (afterall I asked for it.. OUCH!). My gut tells me to let her go and find some girl who thinks she is not settling for someone. She always says that there are plenty of lawyers that would lke to go out with her. I always say..... "There's the door ... write when you get work." Any help would be greatly appreciated. I realize i shouldn't have done what I did but now i am hurting. I wonder how many other people would want to find out EVERYTHING about their spouse. I guess the old saying "what you don't know won't hurt ya" really makes sense here. So there it is a makings for and ABC Saturday night movie. "My wife is cheating on me with me"

 

Please help, what would you do? - Neil Neil~

I was once a girl like this - I had a fling on the internet and agreed to meet a man.

 

I did not go into it intending to cheat - your wife probably didn't either, especially since she told you about the initial message.

 

More than likely she's missing something from your relationship, a feeling of security, love, specialness........

 

I am a good woman who did something wrong. I don't know your wife, so I don't know what kind of woman she is, but she hasn't REALLY done anything yet. If you love her and want to understand her - I would not get rid of her yet.

 

Try lavishing her with attention. Take her on a weekend vacation and tell her how beautiful and special she is...then tell her what you know - print out your e-mails and show her. Ask her what she's been missing from your marriage. Ask her why she did it. Go to counseling.

 

My ex-husband and I fought all the time - he mentally abused me. I ran because I was hurting and the "fake" boyfriend told me only good things about myself. Mine was a bad relationship.

 

However, your relationship sounds good and worth fighting for. If you think so too, then follow your heart. Hope this helps.

[neil]

I do love her and she at least pretends to love me. But I can't get out of my head the hurtful things she said.

 

This is the second time I caught her verbally bitching about me behind my back. I told her to confront me first and if it's not remedied then bitch about me all you want after we break up. She apologized for the untrue things and we discussed others.

 

Well I hate being called such things especially from my wife. And according to her emails her mother has jumped on the band wagon as well. I could say alot of cruel things about her broken family but I don't and I wouldn't stoop to that level. She even admitted to cheating on her first husband (Which her family and I thought HE broke it up from his mis-doings and untrusting ways). I kind of feel sorry for the guy.

 

The bit about the explicit pictures really bothers me too.

 

I believe if you go that far to showing private parts that resemble that of Hustler magazine. I believe that planning a getaway with him would lead to cheating.

 

Thanks for the advice, I still don't know what to do as of yet. She covers up her feelings so well when i am with her that I will always wonder if she really is happy with me. I feel I have enough good qualities to come in first in a persons life and not worry about playing "second fiddle".

 

I want the love of a lifetime, not someone who thinks they have climbed up the social ladder this far... let's see how far I can go.

 

Thanks again.

[Totally Confused]

First make sure you know that she definitely knows it's not you writing to her. There could be a slight chance she's playing with you. Second, if she's trying to get attention elsewhere, it's either because you don't give her enough attention (which I don't see,considering you wrote her an e-mail so she could feel good about herself) or she feels, now that she has lost a lot of weight and looks great, now she has a chance for the first time in her life to actually have a choice of what man she wants, when she never had many options before. It's all new to her. Like a new toy.

 

The next move, I suggest you make, is to call her on it. You now have to let her know it was you and it has been you the whole time. You have to tell her everything. She will then of course, get mad at you and blame you, because she'll be embarrassed and feel guilty for what she has done. I'm sorry to say this, but she's calling you a loser. She isn't a winner herself. I can't believe that someone you are supposed to count on, respect, love, trust, want to grow old with, who's supposed to be there for you when no one else will, has stabbed you in the back. This woman is not your friend. She has belittled you as a person and is basically asking for an affair from a man she hasn't even met and who she thinks is also married. No respect for the sanctity of marriage. She's going out and looking for an affair. This is something that can't be worked out. If you were smart, you wouldn't want to work it out. She has cut you down and she's supposed to love you. She is sick in the head and deserves to lose you. You are too good for this and deserve so much more than wasting your time with this horrid person. If I ever had a husband who stabbed me in the back like that, I'd be out of there, looking for someone who would support me through thick and thin and stood up for me to strangers. This woman is weak and selfish, and I suggest you get out of it. If anything bad ever happened to you, where you were disfigured or lost all your money, I can bet she wouldn't stick around.

 

I know this is killing you inside. I know you're feeling betrayed and confused. How could someone that you love so much and you thought loved you, do something like this. It happens. For whatever selfish reasons, people can be cruel. She's obviously never liked herself and for the first time she looks great and is getting attention. Well she should be sharing her happiness with you, not using it against you. If you ever get your strenght and witts about you, get out of this and find a true love. Good luck and let me know what happens.

[odyne]

I know this must sound far fetched, but is it at all possible she knows it's you? Just wanted to put the thought in your head. I hope you get this resolved.

[Kerry]

Hello,

 

You need to get this out in the open with her. No doubt about it. I say e-mail her(as the alias) and tell her you will meet her for dinner or drinks some where. Tell her you wil be the one wearing the white carnation on your jacket. So when she enters the room she will see you and then she will see the carnation. wow that will blow her mind. Thats when you ask her about all this and what her intentions really were for the night. Oh and print out all the things she sent you and give them to her.

 

Don't let her snow you. i think you need to find a woman deserving of you. Well good luck. And if you do try this I know she will feel about as big as you did when she slammed you about all that stuff she said.

My wife and I both work at a huge legal firm. She is a secretary and I manage the network and make quite a bit of money. My wife lost 75 lbs and looks great. She loved the compliments and looks from other guys. One day she was really down on herself so I sent her an email from one of my anonymous web email accounts saying: "Gosh I saw you months ago and I just saw you today. Boy you look great! Keep it up whatever you're doing". Later that day she was so happy. She told me about it. She was on cloud 9 from getting a compliment from a stranger. However something happened, she responded back wanting to know everything about me (my alias). Questions like my looks, marriage and such. I refused to answer it but after it was eating away at me for a couple weeks. I replied to her. I said that I was married, planning to be an attorney. I needed to know what she was getting at. Well she just wanted to email me like a pen pal. Harmless right? Really screwing up my mind. I found out stuff that I really didn't ever or wanted to know.

 

Pretty soon I was going along for the ride. My wife had never talked this way before. It was kind of like a car accident... you don't want to look but you had too. I found out alot about her. She slammed me (the real me, her husband) and my family BIG TIME! She refers to her husband as a Big time loser froma snobby family. I hated to hear it but I could not turn a deaf ear to her feelings. Over the course of a couple months it was her and I writing stories followed by dirty stories, fantasies of hers and THEN she sent me pics of her nude with our digital camera!! Most explicit poses too! She now claims to love me (my alias) and wants to come down to Florida to cheat on me (her husband). She already has the cover-up story and girlfriends to verify her lies in place.

 

Please keep in mind: When I met her she was living in a dumpy 1 room apartment, driving a broken down Escort and extremely heavy (weight). Now I bought her a New BMW, she lives in my 4bdrm. townhouse with an ocean view. We have a cleaning lady every other day and we eat out OR I cook. Our sex is great when we have it, no fights. Her family is intimidated by mine. My family has old money, hers live in a mobile home.

 

My Question Is: Should I let her go. Should I stop email contacts and forget about it (afterall I asked for it.. OUCH!). My gut tells me to let her go and find some girl who thinks she is not settling for someone. She always says that there are plenty of lawyers that would lke to go out with her. I always say..... "There's the door ... write when you get work." Any help would be greatly appreciated. I realize i shouldn't have done what I did but now i am hurting. I wonder how many other people would want to find out EVERYTHING about their spouse. I guess the old saying "what you don't know won't hurt ya" really makes sense here. So there it is a makings for and ABC Saturday night movie. "My wife is cheating on me with me"

 

Please help, what would you do? - Neil