What DIDN'T you like about him?

[lovernotafighter]

sheesh! here I thought I was the only one who felt like "thank you" from MM after a fun sexy afternoon was insulting.." Thanks MM so and so for ruining the moment" sigh.

 

my MM does weird crap on such a frequent basis it would be hard to just think of one.

 

and yeah he dresses kinda dorky, but the worst is I heard he and his wife were at a work function and both of them looked like they just picked up there clothes off the floor and put them on..I was soo disturbed by this I promptly went NC on him..that one lasted the longest..a month. (there was more to it..its just this was the final nail in the coffin for me)

 

still haven't had the guts to tell him that one though..don't want to hurt his feelings..cause it was actually put to me like this "they looked like a couple of monsters" lol!

 

you know what he does I hate the most though..he refuses to trim his body hair..yes..he says "she'll know" who cares! it's good hygiene! and it's gross..it's like rolling around on a carpet..blah!!

[Adunaphel]

I am so glad that you posted this thread. It is very useful to me right now - both reading what all other LSers do not like about the MM they are seeing, and coming up with a list of my own.

 

- 2 long's avatar reminded me that when I told MM that I liked King Crimson he quoted one of their songs, Epitaph, by heart, and got it slightly wrong.

I do not know why, but it bugged me.

(2long, btw, do you also like King Crimson or is your avatar a coincidence?)

 

- As I pointed out to him lately, he uses words such as "sycophant" or "dolicocephalous" more often than he uses "sorry", "thank you" or "please".

 

- On a couple occasions I caught him using "big words" improperly. I love people who use difficult words and yet sound perfectly natural, but you catch them once using them improperly and it spoils the magic.

 

- he occasionally tries to make me jealous on purpose even now that he is apparently no longer interested in me.

 

- the only time we had oral sex he did not bother to warn me before he orgasmed. Now I'm worried that i might have an STD because he was a jerk.

 

- he said some rude/hurtful/offensive things to me on more than an occasion. He basically talked to me in a way that I found offensive more than a time.

 

- he once referred to a sum of money that he would be spending for his son's birthday present as "a waste of money". I got mad at him. I don't know if he was having financial problems, but hell, *it's your son*! and he is 10!!!!

 

- Some comments that I heard him make about his wife when talking to common friends really bugged me. They would have bugged me even if I had never ever had an affair/fling with him.

I never heard him talking about her in an *offensive* way, but I think you can be disrespectful even without offending someone.

It was stuff like "I'd rather not bring my wife along, would be *way* too interested in her boobs" (speaking to male friends of his).

Or like when he said that in some countries they would have swapped his wife for an unbelievable number of cattle (do not mind the "racist" tone, please. It was in a joking context. No racist offence was really meant.). I remember that it irritated me so much that I snapped something like "poor lady, she is worth 50 bulls and all she has got is an old pig".

It was like he was bragging that his wife is so beautiful, "showing her off" so to speak. Sounded disrespectful.

 

- how on earth can you love your wife *and* cheat on her for fun/because you are in a mid life crisis whwn your family is the very best thing you have in your life?????

 

- he can go from most charming to tasteless in a few seconds. It's scary.

 

- he is 46 and displaying some 20-year-old behaviour.

 

- he once told me that once he was the best man at a friend's wedding, and after an amount of time he slept with his wife.

I don't know if it is a true story or if he made it up (the context was very peculiar), i hope he made it up, but it's still horrible.

If you have no respect for your family, you have no respect for your so-called friends, what kind of person are you????? Jeez.

 

I listed in sparse order what was going through my mind. But there is probably more.

 

*thank you*, I think I really needed such a thread.

[Sami_D]

8- WHen we are having sex (which I mostly like, I mean I m crazy about it) I hate when he's about to come he s like : come , baby, come!!!(like if it was that easy, lollllll

 

more will come, babey

 

pmsl

[yesmaybe]

- He has Austin Power teeth (it must be a European thing)

 

- He isn't as hygenic as I'd like (again, it must be a European thing - sometimes, I wonder if he's scared of soap!)

 

- He dresses atrociously. Ties with bras printed on them. Sometimes, he forgets to tuck in his shirt. Thanks to me, he's improving in this area. But...he's a top-level executive. Why is this is an issue with him?

 

- He walks like there is a stick up his ass. Suffice to say, he can't dance. Looks like a 1,000-year-old mummy when he tries.

 

- No one at work respects him. He sucks as the president.

 

And the list goes on and on.

Wow...when it's down in writing - I'm almost irritated by him.

[PoshPrincess]

Well, unfortunately I am still at that stage where I think even is nasty/weird tastes/habits are endearing but I have come up with a few:-

 

The only one I could think of to start with was his attitude towards litter dropping. This is one of my pet hates but he has that "if we didn't drop litter we'd be putting road sweepers out of a job" attitude. Not sure if he was joking (as he can very rarely be serious about anything) but if he meant it then that would really bug me.

 

When I worked in the pub and we all used to drink together, he'd get a phonecall (obviously W) and would down his pint and be out the door. Totally under the thumb.

 

Most annoying habit - since we've not been in the 'speaking/texting' every day relationship; he ends his calls with "I'll be in touch".

 

He's got terrible taste in music, sometimes wears dodgy clothes and his jokes are really corny, but all this is what I love about him. He's an individual and doesn't care what people think (well, if he does he's good at hiding it!) The things that I love are that he's totally in touch with his feminine side, wears his heart on his sleeve, is not afraid to show his feelings in front of my friends, he has gorgeous eyes that crinkle at the sides and a beautiful smile. He's so damn sexy it's untrue and is the first guy I have EVER been totally sexually compatible with. When he walks into a room he has so much charisma it's untrue. The room lights up when he's there.

 

What do I hate about him most of all? His wife. Well, that he has one anyway. Oh, and the fact that he lets his daughter wrap him round her little finger. Then again, she could just be an excuse.....

 

Don't worry, the longer time goes the more annoying things I will find!!!!

[Guest]

That reminded me of another thing. I was always raised that a man walked on the traffic side of the sidewalk. MM never did that. I always kept that in the back of my mind.

 

Chauvinistic (sp?), maybe. But still, it bothered me.

Mine didn't do that either. He liked it when I'm on his right and I place my head on his chest when we walked together. He mentioned that he liked me on the left side because I'm closest to his heart that way.

 

Here are the things I don't like about my MM:

*His heart can be wishy washy in the past (he loves me and he can be with me...then he ended up going back to his wife last year)

* the emotional turmoil of leaving his kids as a result of separating from his wife (at present)

*Wanting to rush back into a full blown relationship with me even though we learnt last year that it was a huge mistake to do so

*Telling me once in the past that he thinks that his W can learn some cooking tips from me and that I can learn some cooking tips from his wife... whatever, award winning chef school graduate do not take well to those comments.

*He can be too serious at times

 

there's not much I don't like about him.

 

 

He can be too serious.

[BenThereDunThat]

Thought of some more!

 

(I hope this is having the desired affect for all of you, as it is for me....)

 

Scraggly eyebrow hairs -- you know, they sell little hair trimmers for just such a thing!

 

This is a big one, one I never thought I'd ever be able to stomach in a man I was involved with.....BACK HAIR.

 

I don't miss the job-related whining. It was exhausting having to pat him on the head all the time, being his cheerleader -- "No, it's not you, it's THEM..." (yeah right)

 

[BUTAFLY]

That reminded me of another thing. I was always raised that a man walked on the traffic side of the sidewalk. MM never did that. I always kept that in the back of my mind.

 

Chauvinistic (sp?), maybe. But still, it bothered me.

 

My ex also would walk ahead of me to open an entry way door, I thought to allow me to enter first, NO, he would walk ahead and HE would go through first and fling the door open so I could sneak in ,what the heck is that ?!! I always envisioned myself with a chivalrous man & silly me looked passed those behaviors and look what happened. Goes to show you should never compromise when looking for love.

[BUTAFLY]

Thought of some more!

 

(I hope this is having the desired affect for all of you, as it is for me....)

 

Scraggly eyebrow hairs -- you know, they sell little hair trimmers for just such a thing!

 

This is a big one, one I never thought I'd ever be able to stomach in a man I was involved with.....BACK HAIR.

 

I don't miss the job-related whining. It was exhausting having to pat him on the head all the time, being his cheerleader -- "No, it's not you, it's THEM..." (yeah right)

 

That vision should knock him right off that pedestal.

 

I saw exmm yesterday and really looked at him. Looking for what i first saw in him to draw me to him & it was hard for me to find. Its like he's a different man. He gotten bolder, gained a little weight and soften up around the edges. Instead of seeing the outline of his back muscles through his shirt, I see an outline of a spare tire around his waste.

 

Yes,there are still remnants of the old him, those sparkling green eyes, the perfect colgate smile, the boyish dimples, but for the most part I don't even recongnize him. Perhaps because we haven't truly conversed in weeks and it was his smooth talking, sweet nothings that reeled me in in the first place, but from a far I don't see why I put him on the pedistal in the first place. The NC ,even though uninstigated (our job has him working out of another site) has done wonders.

[Adunaphel]

My ex also would walk ahead of me to open an entry way door, I thought to allow me to enter first, NO, he would walk ahead and HE would go through first and fling the door open so I could sneak in ,what the heck is that ?!! I always envisioned myself with a chivalrous man & silly me looked passed those behaviors and look what happened. Goes to show you should never compromise when looking for love.

 

Actually it's proper etiquette.

 

A guy is supposed to enter first through a door leading to public places(bar, pubs, shops) and held the door open for the lady to pass once he got in first.

[Guest]

2long, the 2's are kinda annoying. Sorry, but it's hard to read.

 

 

Anyway, when I was seeing a MM the things that really irritated me were

 

1. He'd complain and complain and complain about how awful his marriage was. At first, I sympathized. I wasn't happy in my relationship either. But then, unfortunately, his complaining never lessened. He continued to dump all his frustration out like I was his therapist. It very quickly got old.

 

 

2. He was fanatical about cleanliness. I guess when you're a cheater, you have to be. But it was a little extreme, right down to extracting stuff from under his nails with an unfolded paperclip. Ugh.

 

 

3. He ate like a pig. I don't mean he had a weight problem, he didn't. But he ate with a lot of smacking noises and really, just ate like food was going out of style.

[Sami_D]

You know, I have to ask...

 

With such an enormous list of frankly dodgy habits... why on EARTH did any of you get involved with such men? What was it all about? I am sitting here laughing and thinking... why didn't you run for the hills, even if he'd been single????

[BenThereDunThat]

It is pretty comical, isn't it? For me, I was going through my divorce (from a man who didn't want me sexually) and I'm sure I was the weak one in the herd, and he spotted me a mile away.

 

He worked my ego (which I know now was false build-up, only to have it come crashing back down), my sensitivities, worked very hard at making me laugh.

 

I can't say for sure, but I have to think that had I not been going through what I was, he never would have even turned my head.

[Adunaphel]

You know, I have to ask...

 

With such an enormous list of frankly dodgy habits... why on EARTH did any of you get involved with such men? What was it all about? I am sitting here laughing and thinking... why didn't you run for the hills, even if he'd been single????

 

Same reason why we get involved with single guys who have equally bad habits - we notice the habit/bad trait when we are already in love/head over heels/completedly ****ed up (you pick which sounds better), and while we would have certainly (or very probably) run for the hills if we had known about those nasty habits *before*getting emotionally attached, they are no longer enough to make us detach because we are emotionally involved.

 

Does this make sense?

 

BTW,

I've always been a huge fan of KC. Robert Fripp is a musical genius (as was Frank Zappa).

 

I absolutely agree about Fripp.

[lyfelite]

*rolls eyes at 2Long*

 

He also has wanky motivational slogans on his phone - like ''prepare and you will win''.

 

 

Hahaaaa oh that is a hoot! thanks for the laugh.

[stillhere]

This is a big one, one I never thought I'd ever be able to stomach in a man I was involved with.....BACK HAIR.

 

My MM has this as well, and it doesn't bother me, but at first it did. He's not like a bear, but it was something i've never had to deal with.

 

Well not like i have to deal with it as in having to braid it or anything, but you know what i mean. It's a part of him, so i love it too i guess.

 

He does keep everything down below trimmed nice for me, and that is somewhat surprising because that just doesn't seem like him. You'd have to know him to know what i mean.

 

I guess if i keep it smooth for him, he has to do a little something for me!

[lyfelite]

Okay my MM annoying habits. He has to touch or use anything I have. For instance dental floss. He has his own but uses mine. If I'm writing with a pen and he needs to write something he will take my pen instead of getting his own.

 

Other then that no gross or personal hygene issues. He takes out the trash and walks my dog. So Sometimes I have to be forgiving when I notice all my crap is miss placed or gone. Of Course his answer to this is... But you have soo much stuff how can you even telll its gone. Grrrrr

 

And for the lady with a Euro-- not all of them have bad teeth and hygene. You poor dear.

 

I think since my MM use to be in the Military that maybe he's a bit more maticulous than most.

[BenThereDunThat]

Well not like i have to deal with it as in having to braid it or anything, but you know what i mean. It's a part of him, so i love it too i guess.

 

LMAO - that cracked me up!!!

[UnknowingOW]

Honestly I can only think of two things he did that drove me nuts other then his ability to lie.

 

1. He would always call and say, "Hi UNK, it's Xmm" Like I didn't know it was him via caller id and his picture that shows up on my cell phone????

 

2. He drove the speed limit which annoyed the heck out of me. And if you had known his past job in life you too would question why he drove so carefully...drives me nuts. When ever I was driving some where long-distance he would also say, "don't be doing 100-mph like you like to do....Do the speed limit" Yeah right...and how fast were you going in your previous job???? Don't even ask b/c it cannot be done in a car.

[PoshPrincess]

1. He'd complain and complain and complain about how awful his marriage was. At first, I sympathized. I wasn't happy in my relationship either. But then, unfortunately, his complaining never lessened. He continued to dump all his frustration out like I was his therapist. It very quickly got old.

 

 

God, I SO know that feeling! My MM did that all the time and it started to drive me mad. If you're unhappy then stop whinging and bloody well do something about it!!!!! It almost felt like he enjoyed wallowing in his own misery and being a martyr.

[Adunaphel]

 

2. He drove the speed limit which annoyed the heck out of me. And if you had known his past job in life you too would question why he drove so carefully...drives me nuts. When ever I was driving some where long-distance he would also say, "don't be doing 100-mph like you like to do....Do the speed limit" Yeah right...and how fast were you going in your previous job???? Don't even ask b/c it cannot be done in a car.

 

I've heard that F1 pilots and Air Force pilots are among the most careful and slow drivers when they are on normal cars.

[Ripples]

I'm not an OW, and I've been cheated on, but hey, this thread really made me laugh - especially the "thank you" stories.

[Meaplus3]

I was glad to read this post this morning, because I awoke thinking about how much I miss MM. Then I remembered how much I dislike the fact that I thought he was a sincere loving guy, when infact towards the end he proved me SO WRONG. I try to keep this in mind when I am missing him. It helps make me realize is REALLY nothing special at all.

[Adunaphel]

I try to keep this in mind when I am missing him. It helps make me realize is REALLY nothing special at all.

 

You are so right, I should keep it in mind too.

 

More MM are not more special than others. They are just more married than others.

 

 

I remembered one more thing I don't like about MM.

He would sometimes brag that he is, er, well endowed.

Last time he mentioned it, saying that he knew that girls appreciated such qualities, he got on my nerves and I said:

"Size is not important to me. If I wanted to have sex with a well endowed man, I'd have slept with [name of a male friend who also happens to be very athletic, muscular and 22 years younger than him] a long time ago."

I got the impression that his ego got a small blow, anyway he never mentioned the subject again.

[PoshPrincess]

I remembered one more thing I don't like about MM.

He would sometimes brag that he is, er, well endowed.

Last time he mentioned it, saying that he knew that girls appreciated such qualities, he got on my nerves and I said:

"Size is not important to me. If I wanted to have sex with a well endowed man, I'd have slept with [name of a male friend who also happens to be very athletic, muscular and 22 years younger than him] a long time ago."

I got the impression that his ego got a small blow, anyway he never mentioned the subject again.

 

I like that one! Always a good put down insulting their manhood!

 

I thought of another really annoying one. When the **** hit the fan and MMs W found out I started asking if he would leave. He had lots of other issues at home and would bang on about them. When I asked, "But you can't leave..." he would say, "Not at the moment, no". Those exact words all the time.

 

Actaully, this is good therapy because when I think of him saying that I just want to punch his lights out!!!