thekhris Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 So how can a woman tell from day one he is not going to be serious? its your nose baby..what are you projecting? a foxy lady or typical wife matterial...you know why gangsters choose a simple lady to be their wife than those hot babes... the answer is in your own mirror... Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 Ohhh, these are good questions!!!???? Men? I think what he means is, a man's mind is made up even before the first date in some cases. If a guy decide it's all about the shag, then that's about as far as the relationship goes; if he wants more, it'll go further. I think a smart, intuitive woman can figure out if a guy's pullin' her chain. Not always, but usually. I think you just have to be sure that you look at a guy's character in total, and not see only what you want to see. Works the same for both sexes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LaraV Posted August 27, 2006 Author Share Posted August 27, 2006 Yeah, I guess I should have paid attention to my gut feelings more. Would have saved me a h*ll of so much pain. But you live and learn.... Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 Yeah, I guess I should have paid attention to my gut feelings more. Would have saved me a h*ll of so much pain. But you live and learn.... Always pay attention to those feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
SarahRose Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 I dunno. Some men are pretty good actors. Men you didn't answer the question why some men will waste a year or two of a woman's life when he knows darn well he isn't playing for keeps? The ons booty call guy is pretty easy to figure out but the fake ltr relationship guys are a little more difficult to figure out as they go along and the relationship progesses normally. Spending time together, meeting family, talking about the future and then it seems around the 1.5 -2 year mark is when these guys start dragging their feet. So obviously the woman will know then but then she has already invested a considerable amount of time into a fake relationship which she didn't realize because he is being dishonest the entire time. This may be extreme and probably is but it seems to me that it is not worth it for a woman to be exclusive with any one man until he is about ready to pop the question. That way, she can play his game of shopping for the BBD. Link to post Share on other sites
lindya Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 (Women may be equally capable at reading men's emotions, but have never seen a need to.) Walk into a large party with a woman. You, the man, will see a bunch of people in a room, talking in groups of two to five. You'll see where the food and bar is, and notice any exceptionally attractive women in the room. That's it. Your companion, however, will be able to tell you which woman is angry, which one is lonely, which is happy, which is upset, which ones feel self-conscious, which ones are jealous, and (probably) which ones are having affairs and with which men. Your female companion will be able to accurately tell you these things within ten seconds of entering the room. I'm female, and I don't have below average abilities when it comes to reading other people...but no way could I make accurate judgements about people's emotional state and sexual status simply by watching their behaviour for a few minutes at a party. Admittedly, this notion that women have some kind of incredibly accurate sixth sense is something that many of us (myself included at times) have been responsible for promoting. For some reason, a lot of people - male and female - like to buy into it. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 I'm female, and I don't have below average abilities when it comes to reading other people...but no way could I make accurate judgements about people's emotional state and sexual status simply by watching their behaviour for a few minutes at a party. It's such a relief to hear this - and to know that I don't need to wear those sunglasses everywhere (and I mean everywhere) I go. Aside from the inconvenience, it seems to be very off-putting to most people I attempt to strike up a conversation with. (And the rest bail out after they "perceive" that I'm not actually a rock star.) And now to the original question - I'm one that's guilty (if that's the right word) of massive overanalysis. I take everything seriously... the only exception being myself, hahahahaha... When you're in a whirlwind of emotion, maybe it's not so surprising that you can get blown off course. At the risk of sounding very delusive (and not evasive), my experience tells me that the secret lies in not fighting the current, but waiting for the moment that you most feel in control. Maybe I will keep the sunglasses after all. Link to post Share on other sites
soberminded Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 I am a man and I have dumped women on a whim. Usually I make that decision when I'm upset about something. So no I don't take more than 2 seconds to think about it before I break it off. The consequence is that a few weeks later I regret doing it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LaraV Posted August 27, 2006 Author Share Posted August 27, 2006 The consequence is that a few weeks later I regret doing it. OK, what do you do then? Ask for them back and apologize? Or just realize you blew it and walk away? Link to post Share on other sites
Author LaraV Posted August 27, 2006 Author Share Posted August 27, 2006 When you're in a whirlwind of emotion, maybe it's not so surprising that you can get blown off course. At the risk of sounding very delusive (and not evasive), my experience tells me that the secret lies in not fighting the current, but waiting for the moment that you most feel in control. Maybe I will keep the sunglasses after all. OK, this is very interesting - but I'm missing how this is related to the OP - and I don't want to, so can you elaborate on this???? Are you saying that decisions - such as breaking up - should be made when you "feel" in control of yourself and not when you're emotional? Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 OK, this is very interesting - but I'm missing how this is related to the OP - and I don't want to, so can you elaborate on this???? Haha. I can understand what you're saying, but I was simply relating my experience... on my understanding that generalisations have limited utility. Are you saying that decisions - such as breaking up - should be made when you "feel" in control of yourself and not when you're emotional? Maybe I'm full of bull****. Okay, here goes. There are times when I can feel myself almost getting "swept away" with emotional thoughts and feelings... and I will usually just let them do exactly that. I concentrate on the "feeling the feeling" and not the "fighting the feeling" (meaning fighting to stay in "control"). A sentence with that many quotation marks should never be taken seriously. Anyway, I think if you can do that you will (eventually?) experience "moments of clarity" - real or imagined - and that's where you strike. Or strike out. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 What keeps a man going despite knowing that he's in it just for play? Selfishness. Ego. Pure and simple. Sometimes, too, a man gets so caught up in the chase that he doesn't bother to think about whether he truly likes the woman he's pursuing on a deeper level. In the beginning, it's often the woman who has reservations in the relationship. Men pursue, but women decide if it's a go or no-go. Sometimes men spend so much of their time just trying to get a woman to open up that once she does, they start to lose interest because they begin to think about what they really want. I find this is true more of younger men who are out for fun, though there are indeed older playboys out there. Link to post Share on other sites
soberminded Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 OK, what do you do then? Ask for them back and apologize? Or just realize you blew it and walk away? I just walk away. What good would it do to ask for her back? Link to post Share on other sites
thekhris Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 OK, this is very interesting - but I'm missing how this is related to the OP - and I don't want to, so can you elaborate on this???? Are you saying that decisions - such as breaking up - should be made when you "feel" in control of yourself and not when you're emotional? jesus...you gals still dont get it do you??? did you ask yourself why on earth we guys start to court a girl? why we guys start to think even to take a move on certain girl wich is a completely strangers to us?... IT IS BCOZ WE DONT CARE ON THE "LET'S GET TO KNOW FIRST BEFORE FALL IN LOVE" THING...and did you know we are so completely buffeld everytime you say to us that "hey lets take it slow we should get to know more first"we dont dig why is it so important ... How many times did you hear this to a male friend of yours or in a certain guy who seen a stranger woman...and said guy: who the hell is that chick? that is the chick im gonna marry... For us guys there are only two kinds of woman who i will start to have a relationship with... The girl that I want to marry somday and the girl that It is so good in bed and hot...(till I find somone better)..THERE IS NO BETWEEN What are the characteristics of a typical wife ..what is the character of certain girl that will make me say to myself this is the woman Im gonna marry... It is the character of their their mom... 1. a girl that will make them feel secure( your mom will never leave you and she will love you forever will never replace you in a better kid) 2. Even you made mistakes a mom will punish you but after wards sge caress you and make you feel so loved.. 3. A mom loves you more thatn anything more than her work more than her furniture.. 4.Your mom will never loose her heart for you even you went bum get freak accident and turn to ugly quasimodo she will still love you.. 5,Even you stinks after the foot ball game she will bake you cookies and kiss you even you smell like a godzilla.. ITS SECURITY... IF I HAVE A GIRL WHO IS BAD IN SEX BUT I FEEL SECURE TO HER...ILL ADMIT I MIGHT FCK OTHER HOTTER WOMAN BUT NO CHANCE ON EARTH I WILL TRADE HER TO THAT BATWATCH BABE ILL STILL CHOOSE THE WOMAN WHO I FEEL SECURE AND WILL ALWAYS BE THERE EVEN IF TURN TO BUM.... posses this characterisitics and ill promise you everytime a guys courts you he is definitely expecting an LTR...and all his words are true... Link to post Share on other sites
whir Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 but no way could I make accurate judgements about people's emotional state and sexual status simply by watching their behaviour for a few minutes at a party. of corz not accurate... bbut atleast yu will sence the basics.. like detect if a guy is a wuss or he is real man... Is he a looser or winner Is he real Hunk or a wanna bee hunk.. Is he good in sex or is he begs for sex... Girls can detect that...well as ive observed;) Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 I just walk away. What good would it do to ask for her back? Wow. Well, you could be forgiven and end up realizing you're with a great person. Although it sounds like you simply don't want to do the work involved with being forgiven.. Link to post Share on other sites
whir Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 = ITS SECURITY... IF I HAVE A GIRL WHO IS BAD IN SEX BUT I FEEL SECURE TO HER...ILL ADMIT I MIGHT FCK OTHER HOTTER WOMAN BUT NO CHANCE ON EARTH I WILL TRADE HER TO THAT BATWATCH BABE ILL STILL CHOOSE THE WOMAN WHO I FEEL SECURE AND WILL ALWAYS BE THERE EVEN IF TURN TO BUM.... ... So in short To make guys see you as a wife material is to posses mother like feutures.. and to make them not to boink another woman is to satisfy his sex life... Link to post Share on other sites
whir Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 I just walk away. What good would it do to ask for her back? and be the member of the club called... ATTRACT FCK ENJOY AND WHEN SOMTHING GOES WRONG FIND ANOTHER BUTT-ATTRACT FCK ENJOY AND WHEN SOMTHING GOES WRONG FIND ANOTHER BUTT-ATTRACT FCK ENJOY AND WHEN SOMTHING GOES WRONG FIND ANOTHER BUTT-ATTRACT FCK ENJOY AND WHEN SOMTHING GOES WRONG FIND ANOTHER BUTT-ATTRACT FCK ENJOY AND WHEN SOMTHING GOES WRONG FIND ANOTHER BUTT-ATTRACT FCK ENJOY AND WHEN SOMTHING GOES WRONG FIND ANOTHER BUTT-ATTRACT FCK ENJOY AND WHEN SOMTHING GOES WRONG FIND ANOTHER BUTT-ATTRACT FCK ENJOY AND WHEN SOMTHING GOES WRONG FIND ANOTHER BUTT-... (till you realized youre already nearing 60 and still have no idea when is this gonna end) Link to post Share on other sites
soberminded Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 If you dump somebody and they have self respect then more than likely they won't take you back no matter how much you regret your decision later. I don't believe in 2nd chances personally. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LaraV Posted August 29, 2006 Author Share Posted August 29, 2006 If you dump somebody and they have self respect then more than likely they won't take you back no matter how much you regret your decision later. I don't believe in 2nd chances personally. True, and while I get what you're saying, I also know that to forgive is human. Not that you'd lose anything by saying sorry and asking for another chance, no? Hypothetically speaking, that is... Link to post Share on other sites
soberminded Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 That's why it's important to think long and hard before you make the decision to break up with somebody. If you make that decision on the whim and out of anger then you'll regret it later and the other person may not want to take you back. I need to think things through myself. I haven't in the past. But I and other people whether guys or girls need to make sure this is what we really want before executing the decision to break up. Link to post Share on other sites
Greensleaves Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 hmm, interesting, especially the discussion about the marriage material and when guys make up their minds. However, I found that you might have been openly treated as marriage material kinda almost from day one and then guy breaks up seemingly on a whim for no obvious reasons/no fights without stating any real explanations. (Actually now when I come to think about it: that happened to quite a few friends of mine, I'd say three at least...) So LaraV, it is not impossible that your guy did put you in the first category but just decided to not follow through for what reasons ever.... Link to post Share on other sites
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