phyrespryte Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 So in a couple of weeks my semester in Amsterdam will end and I plan on exploring more of Europe. Just 2 places tops since I've only got 3 weeks. So I send an email to my roommate asking her if she'd like to be my travel buddy. Since europe alone is kind of um...lonely. She responds... Thanks for the offer, but I've actually decided to stay in one spot for the break (Florence, Italy), instead of going all over Europe. And I really want to spend my break time alone. Nothing against you, I just really want to go relax somewhere with no one to worry about except myself. I hope you have fun in Vienna though And for some reason this is really pissing me off. Alone time? Is she for real? No one to worry about? What am I five? Feh. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 In a word - yes. Alone time? Is she for real? What is unreal about wanting some alone time? No one to worry about? What am I five? You can look at it like that if you want to. Or you can be mature about it & understand that traveling with someone, anyone, requires compromises, deciding on doing things together, going places together, etc. and she doesn't want that. Which is fair enough, I can understand that completely. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 I think you're taking it a bit too personally, she put it as nicely as she could. Link to post Share on other sites
Author phyrespryte Posted August 24, 2006 Author Share Posted August 24, 2006 What is unreal about wanting some alone time? It seems unreal to me because she's the one sitting on the couch watching english television all day. And when I invite her out, she says no. Then the next day she gets all depressed because everyone had fun and she didn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author phyrespryte Posted August 24, 2006 Author Share Posted August 24, 2006 I think you're taking it a bit too personally, she put it as nicely as she could. I guess I am. But I feel like I was set up to take it personally. Nice to me would've been... Thanks for the offer, but I've already made plans. Good luck with your trip. No need for the extra garbage about alone time and worrying about other people. Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 It seems unreal to me because she's the one sitting on the couch watching english television all day. And when I invite her out, she says no. Then the next day she gets all depressed because everyone had fun and she didn't. She sounds like she is depressed. Anyway, if she has an habit of preferring to spend "alone time" at home (even if she ends up regretting it), it makes it more likely that she is not lying to you about wanting alone time in this particular situation. I really think there is no reason to take it personally. Like Bluechocolate said, travelling with another person might require some serious compromise. (and sometimes can damage friendships! I remember screwing up three friendships on a single trip to Malta, which taught me that I'd better travel alone or with someone I'm compatible with ) Also, some people would rather spend three weeks in the same, beautiful place and get very familiar with it than travelling a lot and seeing many things but in very little time. Besides, you can fall in love with some places. I only live a couple of hours away from Florence, so it's not a really exotic place for me, but I'd rather spend two weeks there than trevelling through europe myself. Like they say, to each his/her own. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 I remember screwing up three friendships on a single trip to Malta, which taught me that I'd better travel alone or with someone I'm compatible with Travelling with someone is tricky. You absolutely need to do it with someone you get along with well. If this person is already a drag and won't go out with you, why on earth do you want her along? Go on your own - you'll meet other travellers and have plenty of fun. Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 Email her while you are on your trip and casually mention a girl you met. Make her 'ok' looking but tons of fun (so it sounds more realistic). Don't over do it, just mention what a great time you have. This should make her a little jealous. If not, well, you can stop wasting your time with her. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 hmmm... directx I think they're both women & there's no romantic interest going on here. But hey! I could be wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Author phyrespryte Posted August 24, 2006 Author Share Posted August 24, 2006 Email her while you are on your trip and casually mention a girl you met. Make her 'ok' looking but tons of fun (so it sounds more realistic). Don't over do it, just mention what a great time you have. This should make her a little jealous. If not, well, you can stop wasting your time with her. i'm just going to listen to the "stop wasting your time part". Link to post Share on other sites
Fun2BMe Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 I guess I am. But I feel like I was set up to take it personally. Nice to me would've been... Thanks for the offer, but I've already made plans. Good luck with your trip. No need for the extra garbage about alone time and worrying about other people. I agree. It sounds like she is subbing you or trying to hurt your feelings the way she responded. Whatever to her. I hope you find someone more worthwhile to spend your vacation time with. Link to post Share on other sites
directx Posted September 1, 2006 Share Posted September 1, 2006 BlueChocolate, both of them are girls? How can to girls date each other? Link to post Share on other sites
Adora Posted September 1, 2006 Share Posted September 1, 2006 BlueChocolate, both of them are girls? How can to girls date each other? Where in this thread did you get that they were dating?? I believe (to OP) that your friend is anti-social. If they choose to spend most of their free-time alone while at home, I wouldn't take it personally that they choose to spend their vacation that way as well. Vacations are for fun and relaxation. Perhaps when your friend is around other people it tends to make them tense = not having fun - so they chose to do this one alone and wished you fun on your trip. I actually went on a trip to Florida years ago and hated every minute of it. She had been there many times before me so things I wanted to do was out of the question (she would say "thats boring... been there done that..." - it was my first and ONLY time ever in Florida to date ). Could be your friend experienced something similar on a past trip and now has a phobia with taking trips with other people. I wouldn't stress about it, enjoy your trip, then when you guys meet up when you're both back - exchange pictures and talk about all the fun things you both did! Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted September 1, 2006 Share Posted September 1, 2006 BlueChocolate, both of them are girls? How can to girls date each other? Well if they were romantically interested they the could date each other. But that is neither here nor there when it comes to this thread. Link to post Share on other sites
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