Guest Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 Hi all, I'm looking for a little advice. I've had a friend who I've recently become quite good friends with. We're extremely open with each other and very comfortable. We seem to be nearly perfect matches. Sooo, one day I decided to tell her that I have feelings for her. She explained to me that she is not ready for a relationship right now. We've talked and talked and basically she isn't making any commitments and not ready to tie down to one guy yet. She describes it as a time in her life where she wants to have fun for a while and not be in a serious relationship. I've asked her if I'm someone she would be interested in after she gets past this point in life. (I'm in no big rush for a relationship, but I do think she's perfect for me) She says she doesn't know and won't know until the time comes. We just started to have sex and this is where I am starting to tread new ground. I suppose this is what they call a friend with benefits. Basically I have fallen for her, she's perfect for me, I'm going to be hurt if we don't at least have a chance to see if a relationship works. Now that we're having sex, we've talked again and her feelings have not changed. Soooo, I'm definitely having a good time right now and I'll take what I can get. She's a great person and I'm willing to wait to see what happens down the road. It kinda hurts a bit that I know she may be seeing other guys, but at least she spelled all this out for me. She adores me as a friend from what I can tell. She's told me that when the time comes and if I am still looking, it's a *possibility*, but she doesn't know for sure. She also says that if I find someone else in the meantime, I should go for it. After having said all this, I'm wondering if anyone has any advice or perhaps even some indication of what my chances are in this situation. I can see the possibility of getting myself hurt here, but at the same time, I'm having the time of my life. One love-struck dude Link to post Share on other sites
SoCalCatman72 Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 Well, IMHO, you are going to get yourself hurt. You have feelings, she states she doesn't. Continuing to have sex with someone who doen't return your feelings is setting yourself up for disaster. Link to post Share on other sites
TJettman Posted August 25, 2006 Share Posted August 25, 2006 How are you looking at the sex? Are you doing it because it's her or because you just wanna get laid? You need to sort that out in your head because if you are doing it because you have feelings for her, that's just trouble in so many different ways. Eventually, that's gonna stop and you are going to hurt over it. Link to post Share on other sites
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