lovelylady1234 Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 1st off sorry for the long post, but I feel it needs to be said. Just thought I would make a positive post out of a negative situation, for those in a troubled relationship. I was in a predicament, my husband became a real downer (possibly depressed), seemed to lose interest in me and our marriage. I started a hobby and met another guy I thought I liked, became obsessed with him, wanted to jump his bones. I found loveshack, came on here and asked for help. People told me to run in the other direction and work on my marriage, but for a few months I couldn't see past this guy. I let him cloud my marriage with "the grass is always greener" syndrome. I did whatever I could to talk to him or be with him. Greatfully, it never progressed to anything other than platonic friendship. Then, I had a heart to heart with my H about our troubles and get this. HE LISTENED and made an effort to think about the situation and then came to me one day with a renewed commitment to me and our marriage. This was a little while ago but so far he's a new man. And the strangest thing is this OM, all of a sudden didn't look so great. It was amazing. It was as if all the clouds parted and I could see clearly. I love my husband I always did, I just got "caught up in the moment". But believe me when I say this. THE MOMENT PASSES. You just must give it a chance. I also realized through all this, my problems weren't as bad as it first seemed. I was actually was MAKING it worse and creating problems because of this other guy. I was an idiot. I have 12 years invested in my relationship. No he's not perfect but he's perfect for me. So this is for all of the people who may be in my spot or find yourself in my spot at some point. I know how you feel, I posted on here and felt like I got everybody's "Holier than thou" judgment on infidelity, but as someone who has been there, I say do yourself a favor and take at least one day to step back from the feelings and look at the big picture. Your relationship wasn't created in a day and it won't fix itself in a day either. Good luck to all of you and I will be here to help as much as I can. Link to post Share on other sites
Bryanp Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Great Post! Link to post Share on other sites
SarahRose Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 Excellent post! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 What a great post! You made me think. Really - after I read your post I just sat and thought for a long time. I can't say that there is any real hope for my marriage, but I can say that I have now given serious consideration to the right and wrong ways to handle my situation. I have struggled with my feelings for a "friend". I think now all I have been doing is creating feelings in an effort to escape my reality. Thanks for the eye opener! BTW - Does anybody think it is possiblle for men and women to be just friends? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovelylady1234 Posted August 27, 2006 Author Share Posted August 27, 2006 What a great post! You made me think. Really - after I read your post I just sat and thought for a long time. I can't say that there is any real hope for my marriage, but I can say that I have now given serious consideration to the right and wrong ways to handle my situation. I have struggled with my feelings for a "friend". I think now all I have been doing is creating feelings in an effort to escape my reality. Thanks for the eye opener! BTW - Does anybody think it is possible for men and women to be just friends? Glad I could help, it always helps to get advice from those who have been there. As far as friends, I believe that it IS possible, but as long as the other relationships (ex. Husband) are in check. I feel that the "high" you get from a new romance or flirtation is like a drug addiction, it clouds the true feelings and you live off of the rush. It's those feelings you must be careful of. Especially if you want it to be a friendship and not a romantic relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 BTW - Does anybody think it is possiblle for men and women to be just friends? Yes. If there's someone who has too many flaws for you to want to live with but you enjoy sometimes for some things, you can be friends. But the kind of friendship that involves sharing confidences and spending alone time together is best reserved for people of your own gender. Link to post Share on other sites
DontUnrstand Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 Sometimes depending on the situation "the grass is greener on the other side" Having been in the "predicament" you were in I know from experience that there is always a reason for "the other guy" Link to post Share on other sites
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