Im Super Jealous !

[Guest]

ok i've been a 4 year relationship with my man. I have become really but I mean really jealous and I don't what to do. Its on my mind all day long and all night along. He has given up on me and is about to move out b/c of it. I have promised numerous times I would change, but I don't know how to control it. I love him 110% percent, he is the person I would love to marry. But now it seems we're calling it quits because I'm jealous and I don't give him the space he wants so much. He wants to see a real change in me and I want to prove to him and myself that it can be done.

 

I've been jealous all my life, my parents thought it was cute and my girlfriends are almost the same. Past relationship the guys were ok with it, but my present b/f isn't. We live together and he wants to leave because he doesn't believe I will change. I admit 110% that I am jealous. I know I need help but I don't know how or where to start. I've never cheated on him or wanted to cheat so it has nothing to do with that. I believe he hasn't cheated on me but sometimes I wonder just wonder and I can't help it. I know deep down he loves me, but not he says he just cant be with me b/c of my jealouy! PLEASE HELP BEFORE I LOSE HIM; IF I HAVE'T LOST HIM ALREADY!!!!!!!!

[whichwayisup]

What do you get jealous over? Is there anything from your past, childhood, the way your folks treated you that is affecting you now?

 

You live with the guy and he loves you. He isn't cheating on you.

 

I suggest BOTH of you go to couples therapy and you also need one on one therapy to help you cope with your jealously issues. This isn't about him at all, this is about your own fears and anxieties that have built up inside you over the years and is getting worse. So, show him you CAN change, and by doing that, therapy is a good start.

 

If you don't make the attempt to fix yourself and rid of your jealously issues, you WILL lose him.

[Yamaha]

This isn't about him at all, this is about your own fears and anxieties that have built up inside you over the years and is getting worse.

 

You need to find out why you can't trust. You need to break down the walls of fear you have built up. It will require trust on your part and you will have to let go of the fear if you want to keep him. It will leave you exposed and open to hurt. It will also allow you much happiness if you can manage it.

[Little Creature]

Hi, i hope you havent lost him by now....

 

In the first place, what are the things that make you jealous? Generaly women dont get jealous just because they are crazy. And believe me, i being through this and it is awful. I am almost ending wiht my boy friend for the same reason, he says i am too jealous and he cant stand it no more. But i wonder why if he loves me the way he says, he doesnt stop flirtyng around. The thing is, that some times they deny they are flirty boys, and they keep saying is nothing sexual or romantic, "is just being friendly". And it depends in the way you see and feel a couple should be. For me they are things just for the couple: kissing, caressing, eye contact, hugging, rubbing, and all kind of intimacies. At the same time i expect my man will assure me and pay lot of attention when we are in a party, bar or any public place...i have to come first. Maybe is because i am mexican, i dont know. But at least here in Mexico, nobody allows you or him -for example- to dance with no one else but you. My boy friend is from Canada, and he loves to be the charming boy...flirtyng, dancing with some other women...i cant take it..and no matter how much i love him i will allways be hurted. So thing a little...if he realy loves you...Why he is not helping you? He can reassure you with his love and attention, whithout flirting or going out with female friends. And if he realy loves you he can give up some things too.