KittenMoon Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 I really, really miss him these past few days. I also know he's not the person I knew anymore, but that doesn't really help. Sorta makes it worse. Six months down the road and here I am crying my eyes out everyday again. Since I can't bring myself to say this to anyone in real life, I'm saying it here. No judgements, no criticisms, even if you know it didn't/wouldn't work, give us the truth: Do you still miss them? (it's ok to say it here) Link to post Share on other sites
InaPanic Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 yes i still miss the OM. It's still rather new & fresh for me so i hope in time i don't still feel this way. I hate myself for missing him because he is no longer the person he was. Who I miss is who he was to me in the beginning & the feelings he brought out in me & in himself. I still crave that daily & I miss the person he used to be severly. No, mine could not have worked out but that doesn't mean I am not still hurting inside. Link to post Share on other sites
Kittiecat Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 Sometimes I do, but more often than not I'm relieved to be rid of him. For instance, yesterday I missed him because Saturdays were the days we would eat breakfast, lay around, snuggle and watch TV. It was our weekly "thing." However, when I have a wedding or some other function I am now able to arrive ON TIME and I don't have to wait for some idiot to come pick me up a half hour late and grumble and be antisocial throughout said social event. That I don't miss AT ALL. Link to post Share on other sites
BBetsy Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 it's been six months for me, too, and I miss him every day. LIke you, I don't even KNOW him any more - he's not the man I thought he was. But when we were together he was my best friend, we talked about everything, he was who I called when something big happened, good or bad, and shared everything with. I thought we were connected at the soul and then he fell out of love with me. I know I should try to find someone else, but I don't want anyone else. It's so hard, but I'm trying to put my focus on other things in life and when I think of him, I try to push the thought away. I can't just keep missing him for the rest of my life!! what is "OM"? Link to post Share on other sites
InaPanic Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 sorry, OM is other man. i had an extra marital affair that i am not proud of but did have feelings for this OM that I having a hard time shaking. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 I am sure I would if I let myself. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 I miss her sometimes. Depends what it is about her that I'm thinking of. Link to post Share on other sites
leopardprint Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 No judgements, no criticisms, even if you know it didn't/wouldn't work, give us the truth: Do you still miss them? Nearly every second of the day. Link to post Share on other sites
LaraV Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 There are not enough words to convey the extent to which I miss him. Each person's a world. No two people laugh, talk, walk the same way. I miss him - that completely irreplaceable person. Doesn't matter if I'll meet someone better for me or not. Him. His uniqueness. That irreplaceable uniqueness. I miss him. Oh so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittenMoon Posted August 27, 2006 Author Share Posted August 27, 2006 Each person's a world. No two people laugh, talk, walk the same way. I miss him - that completely irreplaceable person. Doesn't matter if I'll meet someone better for me or not. Him. His uniqueness. That irreplaceable uniqueness. That's the crux of this whole thing, isn't it? The realization that we'll never have another person like them. They cannot be replaced, even if we find someone better. It's such a sad thing. Link to post Share on other sites
LaraV Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 That's the crux of this whole thing, isn't it? The realization that we'll never have another person like them. They cannot be replaced, even if we find someone better. It's such a sad thing. Yep. That combination of flaws, virtues, mannerisms, humor, thinking-process, views, etc. All that combination of traits that makes someone so unique. I think this is especially hard for me because I've been lucky enough to have never lost someone I loved - either by parting of their own or by death. And now I find just how tremendously (horribly!) painful it is to lose someone you love. To want to reach out to that "unique" person and be confronted by the painful reality that they're no longer there for you to reach out to. That no matter what someone else says about a particular thing you said to them, you will no longer hear his point of view, his way of looking at things, etc. It really is horrible. On top of that loss, to know that it was a willful decision on their part to leave your life...well, when I think of it this way, I do *understand* and forgive myself for the extent to which I'm suffering. It really is tragic, you know? Link to post Share on other sites
LaraV Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 OK, not to make this thread sadder than it already is, but I just thought about something else that tears me up. I'm assuming that the pain of loss and "missing" we're talking about here can be felt by almost anyone that is normal and can form human attachments. So, isn't it sad to think, that during the ex's deliberation of whether they should break up with you or not - at some point - they must realize that this entails at least the possibility that they'll never see you again - that they will lose us and all our uniqueness - and yet, they go through the break up because they're OK with that possibility? That's why I think break-ups suck. They are SO personal. They leave you and all that makes up who you are, and somehow, they are OK with it. It's horrible to me to think that the ex doesn't feel or experience the loss the way I do. I mean, I know all the logical reasons for this, but it doesn't make the pain any easier. Perhaps because of this, I almost envy those of you out there for whom the ex, who dumped you, still somehow wants to peek into your life - contact you, ask you to remain friends, etc. It's like at least you know that they do miss you. But for some of us out there, myself included, the ex made a clean break. No looking back. No contact. Nothing. There's only my wondering at times if he thinks about me, if he misses me.... Oh, this sucks. I've been in such a funk this weekend.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittenMoon Posted August 27, 2006 Author Share Posted August 27, 2006 Perhaps because of this, I almost envy those of you out there for whom the ex, who dumped you, still somehow wants to peek into your life - contact you, ask you to remain friends, etc. It's like at least you know that they do miss you. But for some of us out there, myself included, the ex made a clean break. No looking back. No contact. Nothing. There's only my wondering at times if he thinks about me, if he misses me.... It's not as nice as it sounds. I've had my ex practically beg me to say I'll see him again someday, that we'll be able to exchange emails even if it's only "once a year". He's even asked me if my life was "happier now". It's frustrating beyond measure. You refuse to work things out after 6 years, say HORRIBLE things to me, break my heart, blame me for what's happened, become best friends with a girl I hate, completely drop and ignore the friends you spent years with, and you have the absolute gall to act like you'll be devastated if I'm never in your life again? Um... what?! He's even said he misses fighting with me. My point Lara, besides the fact I think my ex is in some sort of twistedly strange denial, is that sometimes their attentions, even the fact that they miss you, can be extremely painful. And sometimes, even if they do miss you, it's better that you don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 Ok KM... what's the crisis-du-jour?? Link to post Share on other sites
loveinlife Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 I miss my ex too, just made a mistake of calling her an hour ago. She didn't pick up the phone. I only spoke to her yesterday when she called me to see how i was doing on the morning I bumped into her at the clubs on Friday. Oh well, she is not that important anyways, she is not that attactive to me anymore, but there is still a little hope to get back together bc I still love her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittenMoon Posted August 27, 2006 Author Share Posted August 27, 2006 Ok KM... what's the crisis-du-jour?? Oh alpha, you're such a sensitive new age man. No crisis, I just miss him. Isn't that enough? Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 OK, not to make this thread sadder than it already is, but I just thought about something else that tears me up. I'm assuming that the pain of loss and "missing" we're talking about here can be felt by almost anyone that is normal and can form human attachments. So, isn't it sad to think, that during the ex's deliberation of whether they should break up with you or not - at some point - they must realize that this entails at least the possibility that they'll never see you again - that they will lose us and all our uniqueness - and yet, they go through the break up because they're OK with that possibility? That's why I think break-ups suck. They are SO personal. They leave you and all that makes up who you are, and somehow, they are OK with it. It's horrible to me to think that the ex doesn't feel or experience the loss the way I do. I mean, I know all the logical reasons for this, but it doesn't make the pain any easier. Perhaps because of this, I almost envy those of you out there for whom the ex, who dumped you, still somehow wants to peek into your life - contact you, ask you to remain friends, etc. It's like at least you know that they do miss you. But for some of us out there, myself included, the ex made a clean break. No looking back. No contact. Nothing. There's only my wondering at times if he thinks about me, if he misses me.... Oh, this sucks. I've been in such a funk this weekend.... Lara, I'm with you. I'm still amazed how my ex was able to "turn off" her emotions like a switch. Our breakup was cold, and after everything we went through, she was able to just walk away, wash her hands of me, and that was it... I WISH I could be so cold. -tp Link to post Share on other sites
LaraV Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 My point Lara, besides the fact I think my ex is in some sort of twistedly strange denial, is that sometimes their attentions, even the fact that they miss you, can be extremely painful. And sometimes, even if they do miss you, it's better that you don't know. I get what you're saying, KM, and perhaps you're right. Still, I wish *somehow* I knew he missed me. Link to post Share on other sites
LaraV Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 I WISH I could be so cold. -tp Me too. Me too. Link to post Share on other sites
In Sync Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 Can I ask you guys on this thread a serious question....and this is not in any way meant to be antagonistic...but how would you feel if your ex's saw all that you had written here...still missing them. what do you think their reaction would be if they knew you were still hankering or missing them?? Do you think they are going through this amount of grieving for you?? Link to post Share on other sites
Winfield Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 Can I ask you guys on this thread a serious question....and this is not in any way meant to be antagonistic...but how would you feel if your ex's saw all that you had written here...still missing them. what do you think their reaction would be if they knew you were still hankering or missing them?? Do you think they are going through this amount of grieving for you?? ^^ I second that - why torment yourselves? They clearly don't care about you any more...or more's the truth, they've moved on...so, why miss a person who was (in effect) so bad for you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittenMoon Posted August 27, 2006 Author Share Posted August 27, 2006 Can I ask you guys on this thread a serious question....and this is not in any way meant to be antagonistic...but how would you feel if your ex's saw all that you had written here...still missing them. what do you think their reaction would be if they knew you were still hankering or missing them?? Do you think they are going through this amount of grieving for you?? Who cares? Just as a person can love someone else w/o having that person control their life, so can a person grieve someone else. (In Sync, I don't mean this to be antagonistic anymore than your response above was meant to, but sometimes I think your opinions are colored by the fact that your last ex was a jerk. I know the hardest thing for me has been being reminded of a relationship that was very good for almost 6 years, and then seemed to fail suddenly- the fewer moments of pain and anger to draw on, I think the longer it takes to grieve.) Link to post Share on other sites
Author KittenMoon Posted August 27, 2006 Author Share Posted August 27, 2006 ^^ I second that - why torment yourselves? They clearly don't care about you any more...or more's the truth, they've moved on...so, why miss a person who was (in effect) so bad for you? Hey! Did I not specifically say no judgments at the beginning of this thread?!!!! Can we just have one spot where it's ok to say "I miss you"? Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 ^^ I second that - why torment yourselves? They clearly don't care about you any more...or more's the truth, they've moved on...so, why miss a person who was (in effect) so bad for you? I didn't realize missing someone was a choice. I guess you're saying that feelings can be switched on and off at will. Link to post Share on other sites
In Sync Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 Who cares? Just as a person can love someone else w/o having that person control their life, so can a person grieve someone else. (In Sync, I don't mean this to be antagonistic anymore than your response above was meant to, but sometimes I think your opinions are colored by the fact that your last ex was a jerk. I know the hardest thing for me has been being reminded of a relationship that was very good for almost 6 years, and then seemed to fail suddenly- the fewer moments of pain and anger to draw on, I think the longer it takes to grieve.) No darling I am not asking this question out of any colored opinions of my ex. You are holding onto my past...I let it go. what I asked was a direct question. I am quite happy for my past adversity because I overcame it. And I see that it takes effort to not dwell over hurt to get through that. Link to post Share on other sites
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