An "I miss you" thread

[KittenMoon]

Hi,

 

Actually, I've chosen to keep my distance. I am his friend, in a very distant, non-communicative, for emergencies only sort of way.

 

Yeah, but he is your soulmate...He is not just any guy.

 

Some other people here I'd say they are better off forgetting. But in your case, he is your soulmate, you don't abandon a soulmate just like that.

 

You have to reach out. Even as friends.

 

Or you'll be missing him forever,

 

Ariadne

 

Well, he abandoned me, so maybe I was wrong, huh?

[In Sync]

Geez- In Sync you are taking this way more harsh than I mean it. I totally see your point! Don't hang onto the past. Look forward, with a positive light. Honestly, I do get it. ANd honestly, I personally try to. But my past will always be there, which is a big thing to deal with in itself.

 

Can you understand that by asking people "WHY are you thinking about your ex/missing them/etc" that they could take it as accusatory and it could possibly cause feelings of shame or guilt?

 

 

You are smarter than that. You knew that what I was getting at had no implications of guilt or shame. If you did take it as accusatory that's going on in your head. My point is this. Obsessive pointless thinking is not healing, regardless if the relationship was 6 years or 6 months. You aren't prisoner to what circumstances dealt you. Unless you want to be. this is not about repressing your feelings. And deep down you know I'm not saying that. It's about realizing you had a setback in life but not letting that setback keep pulling you down. Keep holding you back with "missing him" moments.

[Ariadne]

Hi,

 

Well, he abandoned me, so maybe I was wrong, huh?

 

No, you were not wrong.

 

He is confused.

 

And maybe you won't be together as a couple because of whatever it is that he is going through. At least for now.

 

But is it really in your heart to forget him?

 

Ariadne

[KittenMoon]

You are smarter than that. You knew that what I was getting at had no implications of guilt or shame.

 

Since I am on the other side, would you believe me when I said that even though I know that's not what you meant, that how it can feel sometimes?

 

It's about realizing you had a setback in life but not letting that setback keep pulling you down.

 

Why is it a setback? Having him or not having him definitely doesn't stop life. Unfortunately, it keeps going on regardless of what I do.

[KittenMoon]

Hi,

 

Well, he abandoned me, so maybe I was wrong, huh?

 

No, you were not wrong.

 

He is confused.

 

And maybe you won't be together as a couple because of whatever it is that he is going through. At least for now.

 

But is it really in your heart to forget him?

 

Ariadne

 

Wow hon- never thought I'd meet a more true romantic than myself.

 

I certainly will never forget him, I don't really think I'd ever want to.

 

But how are you so sure he's confused? You don't even know him! I know we want to believe the best, the happy ending, but it might not be, y'know?

 

 

On a seperate note- I do occasionally like how heated these threads get- I have to admit I was kinda lonely for conversation this weekend.

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

Wow hon- never thought I'd meet a more true romantic than myself.

 

Romantic me Crazy

 

But how are you so sure he's confused?

 

Well, because of the circumstances. I've been following your posts. You met too young and he doesn't know what he wants now, plus the business situation that went to hell.

 

You don't even know him! I know we want to believe the best, the happy ending, but it might not be, y'know?

 

It might not.

 

Let me just quote you something from a Taoism book I have right here:

 

"People use the words "beginning" and "end" to describe the start and end of things. However, "beginning" is really the event of coming together when energy gathers, and "end" is simply the dissolution of that energy. That which came together can easily be dissolved if conditions become unfavorable. That which has dissolved may come together again if the circumstances are appropriate. Therefore, who is to say that there is a beginning and an end?" Lieh~Tzu

 

On a seperate note- I do occasionally like how heated these threads get- I have to admit I was kinda lonely for conversation this weekend.

 

Surely, I enjoy your posts a lot too,

 

Ariadne

__________________

♥ ~ ♥ ~ ♥ ~ ♥ ~ ♥ ~ ♥

[superconductor]

Do I miss my ex-wife?

 

Nope.

 

Not even a little bit. Really.

[KittenMoon]

"People use the words "beginning" and "end" to describe the start and end of things. However, "beginning" is really the event of coming together when energy gathers, and "end" is simply the dissolution of that energy. That which came together can easily be dissolved if conditions become unfavorable. That which has dissolved may come together again if the circumstances are appropriate. Therefore, who is to say that there is a beginning and an end?" Lieh~Tzu

 

Point taken.

 

However, I think I'm beginning to get past point where I could forgive him enough for a reconcilliation between us.

 

Oh- I miss my friends too. We were supposed to hang this weekend... and since I haven't heard from them, I think my friend's grandmother's health might have gone south. >sad<

[Ariadne]

Well,

 

However, I think I'm beginning to get past point where I could forgive him enough for a reconcilliation between us.

 

Good luck there anyway, later you,

 

Ariadne

[dominsane]

It's been 7 weeks(who's counting?) since my ex-fiancé broke up with me.

 

Do I miss him?

 

Yes, unfortunately.

I still love him, too.

 

And I saw him at his work today(I didn't think he'd be there).

 

Oh well.

 

And I'm hoping that we'll get back together more than I am hoping that I get over him. (Does that make sense?)

[Mollyanna]

And I'm hoping that we'll get back together more than I am hoping that I get over him. (Does that make sense?)

makes perfect sense to me. It is where I am every other day...

[Pink Amulet]

I just don't know if that is a healthy head space...

[the_alchemyst]

Yep.

 

A lot, a lot.

 

But it doesn't really matter, anyway. What can I do? I don't know if he misses me, and in a way, I'd rather not know.

 

I miss him so much. I miss him just as much as I miss the days when I used to be healthy and happy and laughing and free spirited.

 

But those days, like him, are long gone, so what's the point?

 

I've come to realize and understand that what I feel for others doesn't matter, anyway. They don't care.

 

So, I'll just say this:

 

I miss you so much it's unbelievable. I miss the love, the happiness, the support, the comfort. I miss the hugs and kisses; I miss chases and the tickles. I miss your smile, and I miss mine.

 

I'd give just about anything to mend at least this part of my life, but I can't because I have nothing to give.

 

So, while you part and go away, and I just wish you'll be safe.

 

I would run to you and hug you and tell you that I don't want you to go, but I can't.

 

I can't run anymore. I can't hug anymore. I can't say anything anymore.

 

I am too torn inside, and I prefer to let the jags lie where they cannot be seen, which is where they should be.

 

I miss you, but I miss you too much to stop missing you.

[Ariadne]

Oh Alchemyst,

 

I miss your smile, and I miss mine.

 

You are so deep! I love your posts.

 

And I missed "you" here.

 

(and here I am crying after reading what you wrote)

 

Ariadne

[the_alchemyst]

Oh, don't cry, sweets.

 

Or else I'm going to cry and I don't want to cry anymore today.

 

It's my birthday you know.

 

I think I'm going to buy myself a cupcake and put a single, solitary candle on it, and just let it burn out and melt into the nothingness.

 

Just like me.

[Touche]

Oh, don't cry, sweets.

 

Or else I'm going to cry and I don't want to cry anymore today.

 

It's my birthday you know.

 

I think I'm going to buy myself a cupcake and put a single, solitary candle on it, and just let it burn out and melt into the nothingness.

 

Just like me.

 

Happy B-day Alchemyst! Don't be sad. Do something for yourself. It's my b-day today too. Just treat yourself, ok?

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

It's my birthday you know.

 

Happy Birthday!!!

 

I think I'm going to buy myself a cupcake and put a single, solitary candle on it, and just let it burn out and melt into the nothingness. Just like me.

 

(You are so cute)

 

Ariadne

[Ariadne]

Hey,

 

It's my b-day today too.

 

Wow, another one, Happy Birthday!!!

 

(you lucky bastard )

 

Mine is on Friday.

 

Ariadne

[LakesideDream]

Kitten, I understand your feelings, and honor them.

 

38 years ago, I found my "first love" at 17 (she 16), we were great together. Alas, being kids we broke up and drifted apart. Time and partners passed. Both of us married, had kids, both of us remembered each other very often.

 

5 years ago we reconnected for a short, glorious, 3 month love affair (I was newly divorced). More wonderful than I had imagined life could be. Circumstanced ended it.

 

There were few days in the first 35 years that I didn't think of her. None in the last five. I am good with it. It doesen't hurt to much to often. The love felt was worth far more than the pain and sorrow of seperation. I wouldn't dream of changing anything.

 

I do say little prayers before going to sleep at night hoping to dream of her....

 

It'll get better kitten, really.

[Kittiecat]

KM this is going to sound silly...and I know you miss him terribly, but do you ever think of the BAD times, maybe as mechanism to help you deal with missing him? Every relationship has ups and downs, and I'm sure there were things about him that you could have lived without.

 

I don't know...personally it's just easier for me to think about the things my own ex did to make me angry/sad, and that makes me relieved we are no longer together. If I dwelled on all the good times I would feel awful!

[KittenMoon]

Off track again.

 

I just said I missed him. Didn't say I wasn't trying to get over him. Two entirely different things y'know?

[LaraV]

Wow. It almost seems like it's a crime to miss someone here...

[Kittiecat]

Hm. Sorry to "go off track." I was trying to be helpful. Ya never answered my question, but that's OK. Thinking of the negative is what works for me...but maybe that's why I'm somewhat bitter.

 

Six years is a long time. I can't pretend to know what that feels like. I've read your posts and it sounds like you are in an incredible amount of pain - pain I certainly have never experienced. So if my post seems flippish and silly, I do apologize. I think In Sync has a few good points. Of course you can't "shut off" your feelings - none of us can. So, listen to your doc. Feel your feelings. Just remember that life is short, and you should be #1 in your life right now, not him (and I know you never said he was #1, and again, if I'm off track, I'm sorry! I think you know what I mean.).

 

Anyway, some of the best songs were written by people who were missing someone. You say you are a writer - let that be your creative outlet.

 

And no, it's not a crime to miss someone.

[MickieJ]

This is certainly a hot topic for discussion. We were all made basically the same, but with enjoy our own thoughts and values. Do I miss him? Sure...I really think that is all part of the healing process...just a stage to recovery. Will those thoughts crop up again? Probably, but hopefull get less intense. My last relationship feel out on Sunday, so I am here looking for ways to deal with the immediate feelings. I really liked Teacher's Pet idea of writing a list of things I loved and things I didn't like. And my previous relationship of 25 yrs ended in a divorce 9 years and I still have occassions to miss the dreams that we once both held. Sometimes a memory will come to me from far back...a a piece of me misses him all over again.

 

Sure it hurts...and you have to let yourself go through the stages of breaking up. But I have learned over the years, but I am a wonderful person, even with some of my imperfections or qwerks. Maybe the ex's/other halves are the ones that really lost out.

[KittenMoon]

Hm. Sorry to "go off track." I was trying to be helpful. Ya never answered my question, but that's OK. Thinking of the negative is what works for me...but maybe that's why I'm somewhat bitter.

 

Six years is a long time. I can't pretend to know what that feels like. I've read your posts and it sounds like you are in an incredible amount of pain - pain I certainly have never experienced. So if my post seems flippish and silly, I do apologize. I think In Sync has a few good points. Of course you can't "shut off" your feelings - none of us can. So, listen to your doc. Feel your feelings. Just remember that life is short, and you should be #1 in your life right now, not him (and I know you never said he was #1, and again, if I'm off track, I'm sorry! I think you know what I mean.).

 

Anyway, some of the best songs were written by people who were missing someone. You say you are a writer - let that be your creative outlet.

 

And no, it's not a crime to miss someone.

 

Sorry- did't mean to put you off at all. I'm pretty much past the the advice stage- heard it all at this point. I just think that sometimes we need to be able to express how we feel even if it's contrary to a supposed healing process. I think being able to safely admit how you feel IS a healing process- learning not to fear how you feel deep inside, being honest with yourself, etc.

 

To answer your question- I do try to focus on bad stuff. I actually found a whole lot in my blog archives yesterday going back over a year. It's hard when you're not looking for a perfect relationship- I actually like a healthy friction- so sometimes I forget the bad stuff because it simply doesn't mean much to me- it's just a product of stress or a bad day or whatever.

 

Maybe I'm just an idiot.