For the Guys: A Reality Check

[alphamale]

So what do we, as men, do about it?

Well SC...I don't know about you but I've been spreading the gospel about mens rights on LS for almost 2 frickin' years.

 

Guys- treat a woman like an equal partner, respect her, and listen to her feelings, and you will get the same treatment back

No he won't....he'll get dumped. And her next man will treat her like dirt.

[Great Gazoo]

Maybe she's making more money than you because she's less mired in negativity and babyish self pity.

 

Oh what's this suppose to mean, this almost sounds like a dig at me or something, you have the nerve. I was only joking anyways. She is making more money because she is just like a guy and loves her toys, she makes it and she spends it and I don't care and all my expenses for my business are tax deductable so I can bring my income down to the poverty line just so you know.

[magichands]

Oh what's this suppose to mean, this almost sounds like a dig at me or something, you have the nerve.

Well... I think it's you with the nerve. Something seems to have struck it, that's for sure.

I was only joking anyways. She is making more money because she is just like a guy and loves her toys, she makes it and she spends it and I don't care and all my expenses for my business are tax deductable so I can bring my income down to the poverty line just so you know.

It's good that you don't care. Maybe she likes her toys better because you're not that much fun to play with?

 

I'm just saying...

[Walk]

How strange.. I just had this conversation with my bf last night. He wants to feel "needed", and he's unhappy I only "want" him in my life.

 

WTF?

 

Like it's some how better to have a person leech onto you for your financial abilities but you'll never know if they really want to be there, or if they only stay because they're trapped.

 

I think it's far easier to earn a paycheck and hand over money, then it is to actually invest the time and effort into a long term relationship emotionally and physically. Work is just something you have to do no matter what. Relationships.. those make the day job seem easy sometimes. And the rewards can't be quantified like money can be.

 

Seriously, if I had the option of working full time to pay all bills, and that would ensure my SO had to wait on me hand and foot when I came home.. HELL I'd do it!!! hahahahaha

 

"Where's my dinner Man servant? And bring me a glass of wine!"

[Great Gazoo]

Well... I think it's you with the nerve. Something seems to have struck it, that's for sure.

 

It's good that you don't care. Maybe she likes her toys better because you're not that much fun to play with?

 

I'm just saying...

 

Yeah something hit a nerve, negativity and babish self pity, well excuse me that I never got over losing a son and miscarriages, yeah my babish self pity and negativity, my wife knows what I have done for her, I have to stand and be her rock and be always positive when the odds are always against us and excuse me but you don't know a damn thing about my wife. I don't care because its her MONEY, she likes her toys because she is a tom boy, I'M JUST SAYING

[magichands]

, well excuse me that I never got over losing a son and miscarriages,

I'm really sorry. Is not your wife the one person in the world that understands this best?

and excuse me but you don't know a damn thing about my wife.

That's true. Got me there.

I'M JUST SAYING

I believe that you're using that catchphrase without prior permission. I'm just saying.

[lindya]

No he won't....he'll get dumped. And her next man will treat her like dirt.

 

What of the couples out there who generally treat eachother with respect and consideration, and who stay together? Those couples certainly exist, but sometimes it becomes too easy to focus exclusively on those examples that support one's existing train of thought.

 

I wouldn't deny the existence of women - and men - who gravitate towards destructive relationships because that's what they're used to, and they can't visualise being in a healthy relationship. I'm not sure how useful it is to model one's own approach to relationships with reference to those people though.

 

The happiest and most successful generally seem to involve people who are capable of viewing their partner as a team mate rather than an adversory who's out to use and exploit them. Your approach, alpha, seems to be based on a belief that fundamentally healthy and co-operative relationships between men and women are an unrealistic fantasy. I guess so long as a person subscribes to that belief, and seeks out others who also subscribe to it, the belief will remain a reality for that person.

[lindya]

Oh what's this suppose to mean, this almost sounds like a dig at me or something, you have the nerve. I was only joking anyways. She is making more money because she is just like a guy and loves her toys, she makes it and she spends it and I don't care and all my expenses for my business are tax deductable so I can bring my income down to the poverty line just so you know.

 

It wasn't clear that you were joking. It came across (to me anyway) as more of a sarcastic response to a serious point I was trying to make.

 

I'm also sorry about the troubles you described in a subsequent post.

[Great Gazoo]

I'm really sorry. Is not your wife the one person in the world that understands this best?

 

Yes

 

That's true. Got me there.

 

OK

 

I believe that you're using that catchphrase without prior permission. I'm just saying.

 

I'm so sorry for using that catchphrase without permission, how about' tell it to the judge"

[magichands]

I'm so sorry for using that catchphrase without permission, how about' tell it to the judge"

Oh... I'm not the copyright owner. I was just looking out for you.

[Great Gazoo]

It wasn't clear that you were joking. It came across (to me anyway) as more of a sarcastic response to a serious point I was trying to make.

 

I'm also sorry about the troubles you described in a subsequent post.

 

I was just joking, from any of your post I have read you know your stuff, I was not being sarcastic and its ok about the troubles, everyone has them and I can see that you were probably not commenting on what I thought you were commenting on, anyways....

[Great Gazoo]

Oh... I'm not the copyright owner. I was just looking out for you.

 

Oh bless you...

[lindya]

I was just joking, from any of your post I have read you know your stuff, I was not being sarcastic and its ok about the troubles, everyone has them and I can see that you were probably not commenting on what I thought you were commenting on, anyways....

 

Thanks And no - I definitely wasn't aware of your situation when I made that post.

[KittenMoon]

No he won't....he'll get dumped. And her next man will treat her like dirt.

 

That's because you foolish men chase after trash and then complain when it's rotten.

 

Although, I think most people have gender blinders on- so next time you're chasing after a girl, ask a girl you trust for their honest opinion of her. And vice versa.

[Outcast]

I've seen too many times where people get all offended over jokes. Really, the emoticon is your friend and helps to let people know when you're just joking so that they don't come back and rip you a new one thinking that you're actually being a jerk.

[lindya]

That's because you foolish men chase after trash and then complain when it's rotten.

 

Although, I think most people have gender blinders on- so next time you're chasing after a girl, ask a girl you trust for their honest opinion of her. And vice versa.

 

This reminds me of a quote I read recently. Can't remember quite how it went (or whose it was) but it was along the lines of "If you want to find out about a woman's flaws quickly, praise her to her friends."

[Outcast]

That's because you foolish men chase after trash and then complain when it's rotten.

 

Quoted for truth. It should be in caps. At the beginning of all relationship forums. Required reading for the bitter.

 

It's not that all women are horrible. It's that you made bad choices and when you realized it, got ticked and, in order to avoid admitting you made a dumb choice, you blame the women.

 

And until anyone, male, female, or otherwise, understands that the key to success in mating is making the best possible choice, you'll be condemned to repeat the mistake. Ad infinitum. So continue to blame the entire gender if it, in your own mind, absolves you of having to face your own errors. But it will get you nowhere in terms of ever having a successful relationship.

[Moose]

the breakdown of society can be blamed on women that are no longer dependent upon men to provide for them? Is that what you are saying?

 

I think the breakdown of society has more to do with people thinking they are entitled to something they did not earn. Lack of disipline and total lack of ethics, total lack of self respect.......and lack of honor.

Why must you take everything I post as an attack against someone?

 

I meant in general.

 

Like some of the very items you listed:

 

"Entitled to something they didn't earn": I see evidence of that in my home, from my own children. Ranging from me buying them things they should've earned, (cars, tvs, computers), and allowing them to have desert even if they didn't finish their meal, not doing their chores...and so on....this isn't their fault....it's ours....

 

"Lack of discipline": Again, the parent's fault.

 

"Total lack of ethics": Or lazyness. Personally, I believe our society has ethics, and respectful ones at that. It's applying those ethics consistantly that's lacking. Fear can even be a factor here with all the peer pressure...

 

"Lack of self respect....and lack of honor":Another area where parents fail in their children.

 

Fact is, this is irreversible. Society has nowhere to go but downhill from here. It's wounds will never heal, and will continue to be infected until it destroys itself.

[serial muse]

Fact is, this is irreversible. Society has nowhere to go but downhill from here. It's wounds will never heal, and will continue to be infected until it destroys itself.

 

hi moose - just want to point out that if history has taught us nothing else, it has taught us that it's cyclical. that has especially been true of societal mores and values, which tend to ebb and flow through the centuries, rather than evaporate altogether. whatever you prefer those values to be, i wouldn't expect them to remain consistent. people, en masse, are inherently unstable; it's part of their charm.

i'm just saying. (© - BO ).

 

as for the OP's post...i agree with those who have pointed out the distinction between "want" and "need" in relationships.

 

for example, i do not need to lie my head on a man's nice, solid chest at night. i'll sleep deeply and contentedly either way. but, frequently, i sure as he!! want to. it enriches the overall experience.

[stoopid_guy]

Because, after all, why opt for being chosen for your good qualities and appreciated for the person you are when you could be part of a relationship simply because you're a sperm dispenser and fuse-changer? So much less pleasant to be wanted than to be needed.

Hey! I'll have you know that we're darn good at killing bugs and spiders too! (That's that traditional "protector" role at work.)

 

(Said in silly mode, in case someone doesn't know what " " means.)

[serial muse]

Hey! I'll have you know that we're darn good at killing bugs and spiders too! (That's that traditional "protector" role at work.)

 

(Said in silly mode, in case someone doesn't know what " " means.)

 

 

word! i don't know about y'all but i think the orkin man is hott.

 

back atcha.

[magichands]

I've seen too many times where people get all offended over jokes. Really, the emoticon is your friend and helps to let people know when you're just joking so that they don't come back and rip you a new one thinking that you're actually being a jerk.

I had a falling out with the "emoticons" (don't ask). I think they were fed up with being abused for my evil purposes.

[stoopid_guy]

word! i don't know about y'all but i think the orkin man is hott.

 

back atcha.

Yeah, us ordinary guys could never compete with the Orkin man... Kills bugs and wears a uniform? If I was a woman, I'd do him myself.

[Outcast]

Hey! I'll have you know that we're darn good at killing bugs and spiders too!

 

Bah. Little ole bugs? They don't scare me. However I'd run off with Mr. Clean any day if he'd do his tornado thing and save me from the drudgery of cleaning junk that just gets dirty again I'd slay bugs for him!

[alphamale]

Your approach, alpha, seems to be based on a belief that fundamentally healthy and co-operative relationships between men and women are an unrealistic fantasy.

Yes that is basically my view in a nutshell.

 

I've seen too many times where people get all offended over jokes. Really, the emoticon is your friend and helps to let people know when you're just joking so that they don't come back and rip you a new one thinking that you're actually being a jerk.

The emoticon does not give one carte blanche to say whatever they want to, however. I was quite rudely reminded about this by the site admins a few wks back.