errors in your life

[twkvfx]

Is it ever too late to go back and improve on your personal mistakes? Is it a question of learning from your past mistakes and be aware of them for future terms? Is it worth going back to the situation where you missed your opportunities? How does God play his role of improving the errors in your life? Is it a question of faith? If all those years of self-doubt and hurt were to continue, when is it the time to finally stop, and to give this life a second chance?

[Moose]

Is it ever too late to go back and improve on your personal mistakes?

I don't think it is. In fact, it's one of the steps in AA. To go back and forgive those you've wronged. It's purpose it two fold, peace of mind, and an improvement of the former self. You can always improve on them if your so inclined, and the means to do so....

Is it a question of learning from your past mistakes and be aware of them for future terms?

Of course. This should be true about your successes as well.

Is it worth going back to the situation where you missed your opportunities?

Sometimes it is, and some times it isn't. Some sleeping dogs are best left alone....sometime we're not sure. That's when we need God's guidance, and we can get that through prayer...

How does God play his role of improving the errors in your life?

Observer.

Is it a question of faith?

Yes.

If all those years of self-doubt and hurt were to continue, when is it the time to finally stop, and to give this life a second chance?

The time is now. It won't stop until you hand your life over to God completely.....

[superconductor]

Is it ever too late to go back and improve on your personal mistakes?

Sometimes, yes, it can be too late. It depends entirely on the specifics, so a blanket answer here won't do much good.

Is it a question of learning from your past mistakes and be aware of them for future terms?

Yes. The operative word here is "learning." Studying where you may have gone wrong to learn from a mistake is positive; brooding on errors made in the past is negative. It takes wisdom to know the difference.

Is it worth going back to the situation where you missed your opportunities?

Depends on the opportunity, of course, and whether or not it still plays a part in your life. For instance, I've long given up the dream of becoming a famous musician, and re-visiting that dream now would probably do more harm than good.

How does God play his role of improving the errors in your life? Is it a question of faith?

IMHO, She has much bigger things to worry about than whether you may have said something in haste 5 or 10 years ago.

If all those years of self-doubt and hurt were to continue, when is it the time to finally stop, and to give this life a second chance?

You stop when you forgive yourself.

 

Easier said than done, I know, but there's really no other way.

[suegail]

What a wonderful question for such a young person to ask. What was that quote by Socrates? "The unexamined life is not worth living..." How many people live their lives without ever asking the questions you've asked? , or if they do, they're ready to cast blame in every direction. What you've said is so honest and shows astounding insight.

 

 

and you've asked,

 

"How does God play his role of improving the errors in your life?"

 

One of the scriptures I keep running into is from psalms, that we should "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5,6

 

We need to seek God's guidance always, in all things.

[superconductor]

We need to seek God's guidance always, in all things.

That's all very well and good, but it leaves a huge question unanswered: How will you know the guidance if/when it comes?

 

And please, no "you'll just know" answers, because it's simply not true.

[Outcast]

That's all very well and good, but it leaves a huge question unanswered: How will you know the guidance if/when it comes?

 

I've been trying to figure that one out my whole dang life.

[quankanne]

Is it ever too late to go back and improve on your personal mistakes?

 

nope – that's how you begin to grow in wisdom.

 

Is it a question of learning from your past mistakes and be aware of them for future terms?

 

the best things about mistakes is that they can be a wonderful opportunity to learn and grow, if we let ourselves do just that. In fact, it's what you learn from your mistakes that make a bigger impression in your mind than doing the right thing the first time (think to all those tests you've taken in school – you tend to look at what you got wrong and you correct them so you know them for next time, don't you?)

 

Is it worth going back to the situation where you missed your opportunities?

 

depends on the situation. If it's an opportunity for growth that you walked away from because of insecurity or immaturity (you weren't ready to face it), then yeah, it's worth taking a stab at. If it's just you trying to relive something that was meant to be experienced only once (i.e., trying to make your ex-boyfriends into "The One" because you're divorced and don't want to be alone is futile, in my opinion).

 

How does God play his role of improving the errors in your life? Is it a question of faith?

 

you've got to believe that God is a forgiving God who wants you to learn, to strive to be the best person you can be. Errors and screw-ups will always be forgiven by him, but we must learn to allow ourselves to accept that forgiveness.

 

If all those years of self-doubt and hurt were to continue, when is it the time to finally stop, and to give this life a second chance?

 

when you realize that it's not helping you any to carry that self-doubt and hurt; that it's holding you back from becoming the person you're meant to be.

 

 

great bunch of =questions Andy!

[twkvfx]

I have missed a lot of opportunities in my life. One of them that I could remember is the kind of love that people around me gave me, but I wasn't aware of it and kind of rejected it. Right now, the love that I have received remained the same or has been diminished, unlike usual. As you get to know someone (regardless of age), the friendship love extends. Why do I ask these questions? Because of how the people I know see me as. How can I tell is by the way they treated me, the way they treated me is a reflection of how I treated them. Right now, I'm trying to change all that and get back on track. And I mean it literally.

[suegail]

Superconductor,

 

alright, I'll give you an example, an experience I had. It could be that you won't feel as I did about it - I'll explain it and you can decide what you think. I always ask in prayer that God will give me the ability to see others as he sees them, and that I'll have an understanding of what their needs are. I don't want to look at people with worldly eyes, and perhaps I can or cannot explain that very well, but what I mean is that I would like to have a spirtual gift of understanding.

 

I work as a nurse, and we had a very young woman come to our floor, and normally because we're primarily a surgical unit, we wouldn't have taken her, but she had some medical problems...anyway, she was obviously also going through a mental health crisis, to say the least, screaming, biting, kicking, spitting, slapping, scratching anyone who came near, and even her own family bailed...they couldn't take it and they left...she got hold of a male nurse's arm and laid it wide open, scratching and biting, he was bleeding profusely, still trying to hold her...I walked in at about that time and when I looked at her I saw someone in so much emotional pain, and I can't remember what I said to her, but she kind of quieted, and I walked to the side of the bed, and I asked her if I could hug her. I've never had anyone grab me so quick, her arms went around me in a vice grip, she buried her head in my shirt and soaked it with her tears, she cried and cried and held onto me...and after that she went to sleep..did not bother anyone again. slept all night and did also apologize for having acted as she did.

 

That was an answer to my prayer. It was as if God did give me the ability to see a little deeper and understand, and I reacted in a way I believe I might not have had I not sought God's guidance. I probably would have been trying to grab and arm or leg, or calling for someone to pass the IV valium...(and by the way, she hadn't gotten anything to calm her at that point, they were just getting an order for something and when they came later to give it she was by that time, calm and relaxed.) I really believe God gave me some help in that situation so that I could help her...he gave me a moment of clarity and understanding I wouldn't have had otherwise.

 

Andy, I will say it again - - I am so impressed by you! and I think it's a wonderful thing that you are concerned with seeking God's help in these things. You have an understanding of what's important in life. To love, to know how to love.

 

MARK 12:28-34 (RSV)

 

[28] And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one

another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, "Which

commandment is the first of all?"

 

[29] Jesus answered, "The first is, `Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God,

the Lord is one;

 

[30] and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with

all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.'

 

[31] The second is this, `You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'

There is no other commandment greater than these."

 

[32] And the scribe said to him, "You are right, Teacher; you have truly

said that he is one, and there is no other but he;

 

[33] and to love him with all the heart, and with all the understanding,

and with all the strength, and to love one's neighbor as oneself, is

much more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices."

 

[34] And when Jesus saw that he answered wisely, he said to him, "You

are not far from the kingdom of God."

[twkvfx]

Superconductor,

 

alright, I'll give you an example, an experience I had. It could be that you won't feel as I did about it - I'll explain it and you can decide what you think. I always ask in prayer that God will give me the ability to see others as he sees them, and that I'll have an understanding of what their needs are. I don't want to look at people with worldly eyes, and perhaps I can or cannot explain that very well, but what I mean is that I would like to have a spirtual gift of understanding.

 

I work as a nurse, and we had a very young woman come to our floor, and normally because we're primarily a surgical unit, we wouldn't have taken her, but she had some medical problems...anyway, she was obviously also going through a mental health crisis, to say the least, screaming, biting, kicking, spitting, slapping, scratching anyone who came near, and even her own family bailed...they couldn't take it and they left...she got hold of a male nurse's arm and laid it wide open, scratching and biting, he was bleeding profusely, still trying to hold her...I walked in at about that time and when I looked at her I saw someone in so much emotional pain, and I can't remember what I said to her, but she kind of quieted, and I walked to the side of the bed, and I asked her if I could hug her. I've never had anyone grab me so quick, her arms went around me in a vice grip, she buried her head in my shirt and soaked it with her tears, she cried and cried and held onto me...and after that she went to sleep..did not bother anyone again. slept all night and did also apologize for having acted as she did.

 

That was an answer to my prayer. It was as if God did give me the ability to see a little deeper and understand, and I reacted in a way I believe I might not have had I not sought God's guidance. I probably would have been trying to grab and arm or leg, or calling for someone to pass the IV valium...(and by the way, she hadn't gotten anything to calm her at that point, they were just getting an order for something and when they came later to give it she was by that time, calm and relaxed.) I really believe God gave me some help in that situation so that I could help her...he gave me a moment of clarity and understanding I wouldn't have had otherwise.

 

Andy, I will say it again - - I am so impressed by you! and I think it's a wonderful thing that you are concerned with seeking God's help in these things. You have an understanding of what's important in life. To love, to know how to love.

 

MARK 12:28-34 (RSV)

 

[28] And one of the scribes came up and heard them disputing with one

another, and seeing that he answered them well, asked him, "Which

commandment is the first of all?"

 

[29] Jesus answered, "The first is, `Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God,

the Lord is one;

 

[30] and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with

all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.'

 

[31] The second is this, `You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'

There is no other commandment greater than these."

 

[32] And the scribe said to him, "You are right, Teacher; you have truly

said that he is one, and there is no other but he;

 

[33] and to love him with all the heart, and with all the understanding,

and with all the strength, and to love one's neighbor as oneself, is

much more than all whole burnt offerings and sacrifices."

 

[34] And when Jesus saw that he answered wisely, he said to him, "You

are not far from the kingdom of God."

 

Thank you, suegail. Your compliment was a great impact on me. No one ever tells me those kind of compliments bfore. I will cherish that , even though I take these by text not the spoken words. Although if those words were to address to me by speech it would be of a greater impact. And your story is very true. It got me hooked, haha.

 

By the way, if you think I'm 14, well I'm 16. The administrator changed my name. Anyways, lets get back on topic.

[suegail]

Andy, I was just reading back over the posts, and this post, by Quankanne was the perfect response to your question:

 

"you've got to believe that God is a forgiving God who wants you to learn, to strive to be the best person you can be. Errors and screw-ups will always be forgiven by him, but we must learn to allow ourselves to accept that forgiveness."

[twkvfx]

Andy, I was just reading back over the posts, and this post, by Quankanne was the perfect response to your question:

 

"you've got to believe that God is a forgiving God who wants you to learn, to strive to be the best person you can be. Errors and screw-ups will always be forgiven by him, but we must learn to allow ourselves to accept that forgiveness."

 

but how do we know if we're forgiven. how do we, in a way, tell the people that you want to re-consider your relatiosnhip with them, as if going back right to the beginning of relationship forming?

[suegail]

Andy, I hope i'm understanding the question....I'll try and answer.

 

With God you can always count on forgiveness. "As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us."

(Psalm 103:11,12) We can count on that with total assurance.

 

With people, with those in our lives, or those who have been in our lives, of course it's not always easy to have a new start. You certainly can reach out to them and explain that you have a sincere change of heart ( from whatever the past has been ) and you can ask for the opportunity to restore or rebuild the relationship. All you can do is be completely honest, from the heart, and sometimes people get very hurt that way, because they are not received in the way they had hoped. On the other hand, once you've opened that door in an effort to build a bridge of understanding there is peace of mind to be had, because you've tried to do the right thing.

 

Is this at all helping to answer the questions you had?

[twkvfx]

I can't really admit that it is. I came to find answers that I desperately need for my tasks.

[blind_otter]

but how do we know if we're forgiven. how do we, in a way, tell the people that you want to re-consider your relatiosnhip with them, as if going back right to the beginning of relationship forming?

 

You can't go back to the beginning, and you can never involve other people's choices in your understanding of yourself.

 

And anyways, if you want to get back together with someone, then you have a conversation letting them know your feelings. If they politely decline it may have nothing to do with you as a person, but perhaps more that they are just done with the relationship.

[twkvfx]

For me personally I would not involve telling my friends about my feelings, because simply telling someone about your feelings is a deep thing. I've been through quite a lot of deep talks (mostly small) with some people, and that the relationship between us is just not going anywhere, I believe. its just that my instinct tells me to avoid those things.

[blind_otter]

For me personally I would not involve telling my friends about my feelings, because simply telling someone about your feelings is a deep thing. I've been through quite a lot of deep talks (mostly small) with some people, and that the relationship between us is just not going anywhere, I believe. its just that my instinct tells me to avoid those things.

 

I'm talking about discussing this directly with the person in question. Not with random unassociated friends who have no idea what the relationship actually involves.

[quankanne]

but how do we know if we're forgiven. how do we, in a way, tell the people that you want to re-consider your relatiosnhip with them, as if going back right to the beginning of relationship forming?

 

the only way to know for sure is to seek forgiveness. If it is granted, you still have that history that includes the hurts and faults, but those you try to heal as best you can …

 

here's a little bit of my personal experience that might help put into perspective how forgiveness and mercy works:

 

in college, I roomed with Ralph, my best friend. We shared a two-bedroom apartment for about two years, got to know each others' families, hung out a lot and generally got along. At one point, though, I moved out without an explanation. He was really sweet about, even though I did him dirty, and he still wanted to remain friends. You know, even today I cannot tell you why I moved out – the closest I can figure is that I was going through a period of depression and acted out by burning bridges for no good reason. Anyhow, I totally cut off communication and generally was a poop-head about it, which shames me still.

 

a couple of years after moving from that college town to a city across the state, I received a letter from him wanting to know how I was doing, and if I wanted, I could call him at such and such number.

 

I don't know what I did to earn such a strong, loving friend, but I'm grateful for his act of mercy and forgiveness, because having him in my life has made it so much richer. It's been about a dozen years since that letter arrived at my office, and in all that time, he never asked me why I acted as I did, but simply has been my incredibly supportive friend. I think it takes a strong person to look past that hurt, and sometimes we get lucky and find them in our lives.

 

the only way to know if that exists in your relationships, you've got to seek it out, even if you feel bad about how things ended. Someone not interested in rebuilding a relationship will tell you; sometimes, it's about knowing that you tried to rebuild and heal, even if the answer is 'no.' Those folks who love and care about you will accept your offer to renew your friendship if it is sincere.

[twkvfx]

but how do we know if we're forgiven. how do we, in a way, tell the people that you want to re-consider your relatiosnhip with them, as if going back right to the beginning of relationship forming?

 

the only way to know for sure is to seek forgiveness. If it is granted, you still have that history that includes the hurts and faults, but those you try to heal as best you can …

 

here's a little bit of my personal experience that might help put into perspective how forgiveness and mercy works:

 

in college, I roomed with Ralph, my best friend. We shared a two-bedroom apartment for about two years, got to know each others' families, hung out a lot and generally got along. At one point, though, I moved out without an explanation. He was really sweet about, even though I did him dirty, and he still wanted to remain friends. You know, even today I cannot tell you why I moved out – the closest I can figure is that I was going through a period of depression and acted out by burning bridges for no good reason. Anyhow, I totally cut off communication and generally was a poop-head about it, which shames me still.

 

a couple of years after moving from that college town to a city across the state, I received a letter from him wanting to know how I was doing, and if I wanted, I could call him at such and such number.

 

I don't know what I did to earn such a strong, loving friend, but I'm grateful for his act of mercy and forgiveness, because having him in my life has made it so much richer. It's been about a dozen years since that letter arrived at my office, and in all that time, he never asked me why I acted as I did, but simply has been my incredibly supportive friend. I think it takes a strong person to look past that hurt, and sometimes we get lucky and find them in our lives.

 

the only way to know if that exists in your relationships, you've got to seek it out, even if you feel bad about how things ended. Someone not interested in rebuilding a relationship will tell you; sometimes, it's about knowing that you tried to rebuild and heal, even if the answer is 'no.' Those folks who love and care about you will accept your offer to renew your friendship if it is sincere.

 

If they tell you that they want to end the relationship that could cause hurt. For me, that kind of hurt would last for quite a long time. Like the saying "you can't take back what you said" and "emotional hurt hurts more than physical hurt, because emotional hurts last longer".

[suegail]

So, you want to know how to approach the person or persons in your life and ask for this new beginning, but somehow do it without actually speaking of any facts having to do with your emotional state of heart and mind, and also with a guarantee of success?

[twkvfx]

So, you want to know how to approach the person or persons in your life and ask for this new beginning, but somehow do it without actually speaking of any facts having to do with your emotional state of heart and mind, and also with a guarantee of success?

 

yes, that is right. sorry that my comment wasn't clear and didn't make much sense, i was kind of rushing it.

[suegail]

Well, I'm sorry, Andy...I'm just at a loss because I wouldn't know how to answer that at all. I'll keep thinking about it though....

[twkvfx]

Well, I'm sorry, Andy...I'm just at a loss because I wouldn't know how to answer that at all. I'll keep thinking about it though....

 

well okay, fair enough. i guess this is getting too complicated right?

[quankanne]

not really ... sometimes you've got to lay it all on the line. With forgiveness comes the act of reparation, or making whole that relationship again. If you leave out the important stuff (like sharing why it is important to you to mend the relationship), somewhere in the back of that person's mind will be the question "what if his intentions are the same as they were before and he totally trashes our relationship again?" By acknowleging the hurt caused by actions which you also acknowlege, you're paving the way for healing to take place. Otherwise, your intentions remain murky.

[suegail]

There you go, Andy! whew! takes the heat off of me. Quankanne did it again. Great response. I was drawing a blank. I think that is so true..you need to make this very clear to your friend or friends. They may well misunderstand completely if you choose not to.