errors in your life

[twkvfx]

not really ... sometimes you've got to lay it all on the line. With forgiveness comes the act of reparation, or making whole that relationship again. If you leave out the important stuff (like sharing why it is important to you to mend the relationship), somewhere in the back of that person's mind will be the question "what if his intentions are the same as they were before and he totally trashes our relationship again?" By acknowleging the hurt caused by actions which you also acknowlege, you're paving the way for healing to take place. Otherwise, your intentions remain murky.

 

I'm not 100% clear on your comment. Can you clarify your reasons? I understand what you are trying to say though. Thanks.

[twkvfx]

okay, to take this specifically, if you were rude and/or being awkward towards someone, say a friend (of any kind no matter the age), and that someone(s) does not see you the way that God made you to be from one's perspective and you don't receive the kind of love that they have given you but somehow you rejected it in a way from the past, how can you change all that? how can you rebuild the errors? it may seem like going back in time to re-do your mistakes is the only way, but you guys taught me that it is never too late to improve on your "personal" mistakes. everyone, you don't know how much this is so personal to me. i've been like this ever since when i was younger, and i want to change all that for good. please, someone....

[Moose]

if you were rude and/or being awkward towards someone, say a friend (of any kind no matter the age), and that someone(s) does not see you the way that God made you to be from one's perspective and you don't receive the kind of love that they have given you but somehow you rejected it in a way from the past, how can you change all that? how can you rebuild the errors?

The first thing you do is take it to the Lord in prayer. Ask Him for His forgiveness, for your neglect not only in your walk, but for refusing the, "agape", love from a brother/sister in Christ.

 

Then you approach the person in love. Let them know that you've prayed about it, and that it weighs heavy on your heart, that you need their forgiveness as well.

 

Then do your best to re-establish a loving relationship with the person.

 

There are some baby steps, but mountains are moved one stone at a time....

[twkvfx]

i don't have the power for my prayers to be reached out. i ask my parents to pray for me. is that a problem?

[Moose]

i don't have the power for my prayers to be reached out.

You most certainly do. If you have the ability to think, you have the power of prayer.

 

It is not up to us to make our prayers reachable either. God promised that He would hear ALL prayer, (yours included), all we have to do is practice it.

[twkvfx]

okay then.

[quankanne]

Originally Posted by quankanne

not really ... sometimes you've got to lay it all on the line. With forgiveness comes the act of reparation, or making whole that relationship again. If you leave out the important stuff (like sharing why it is important to you to mend the relationship), somewhere in the back of that person's mind will be the question "what if his intentions are the same as they were before and he totally trashes our relationship again?" By acknowleging the hurt caused by actions which you also acknowlege, you're paving the way for healing to take place. Otherwise, your intentions remain murky.

 

I'm not 100% clear on your comment. Can you clarify your reasons? I understand what you are trying to say though. Thanks.

 

if you've done something to hurt someone, it's best to acknowlege the both the offense AND the pain that it caused, because the other person then sees that you're sincere in wanting to restore or rebuild your relationship with him/her. The healing starts because there's not doubt whatsoever that you are sincere in wanting to make a clean start on your relationship with him/her.

 

okay, to take this specifically, if you were rude and/or being awkward towards someone, say a friend (of any kind no matter the age), and that someone(s) does not see you the way that God made you to be from one's perspective and you don't receive the kind of love that they have given you but somehow you rejected it in a way from the past, how can you change all that? how can you rebuild the errors? it may seem like going back in time to re-do your mistakes is the only way, but you guys taught me that it is never too late to improve on your "personal" mistakes. everyone, you don't know how much this is so personal to me. i've been like this ever since when i was younger, and i want to change all that for good. please, someone....

 

your heart is definitely in the right place, now just pray to God and ask what is the best way to mend your relationship with the person you have in mind. Often the first step is to say you're sorry (for being mean, for being a poopy-head, for snapping at someone, for lying, for cheating, for stealing, for whatever it was that caused the hurt in the relationship); then comes the asking for forgiveness for your hurtful behavior.

 

it'll play out one of two ways – either the other person says "no, I can't/won't forgive you" and the relationship remains damaged, or that person is willing to forgive because he or she believes in your relationship that much.

[twkvfx]

yes, asking for forgiveness is good and conventional, but this draws into a deep situation between you and the person. i'm not saying that asking for forgiveness is bad. though from my position of life..........

[twkvfx]

.............though my position of life is struggling to move up, its hard for me to do from what is beyond my level of confidence and motivation.

[Moose]

.............though my position of life is struggling to move up, its hard for me to do from what is beyond my level of confidence and motivation.

As hard as it may be, it's not impossible Andy.

 

Follow through once, then twice, and you will move up. And also, try to remember that you're not in this alone.

 

God promised you wouldn't be alone once you decided to follow Him. The hardest part is letting go of the reigns and letting Him drive.

 

I'm still learning this, and I thank God for real people on LS, (BT that's for you), who use this forum to help me realize this for myself....

[blind_otter]

yes, asking for forgiveness is good and conventional, but this draws into a deep situation between you and the person. i'm not saying that asking for forgiveness is bad. though from my position of life..........

.............though my position of life is struggling to move up, its hard for me to do from what is beyond my level of confidence and motivation.

 

part of growing up is challenging yourself to do things that you believe are beyond your confidence and motivation. Testing your limits, so to speak.

 

Asking for forgiveness is very difficult, but it's something you have to learn to do. To be humble before someone that you have wronged. That tends to set things right again...

[twkvfx]

if you like make a conversation about something not basic to him/her in any location( say a cafe) at any time, would it make the relationship in between grow and better, but slowly? would that mend part of the error in life?

[twkvfx]

if you like make a conversation about something not basic to him/her in any location( say a cafe) at any time, would it make the relationship in between grow and better, but slowly? would that mend part of the error in life?

 

I know that it may seem like a simple question, but I'm just making sure if I got the right idea.

[Joelle]

the only way to know if that exists in your relationships, you've got to seek it out, even if you feel bad about how things ended. Someone not interested in rebuilding a relationship will tell you; sometimes, it's about knowing that you tried to rebuild and heal, even if the answer is 'no.' Those folks who love and care about you will accept your offer to renew your friendship if it is sincere.

 

I agree with this due to my experience.

[twkvfx]

part of the problem is that I don't exploit the opportunities or relationships that the people have given me. with me with no exploitation, i acted as if i'm a nobody at that time. because that i understand of the awareness of one's self, understanding one's views and perspectives, feelings, etc, its harder for me to find the time to socialise with them. but with Jesus, nothing is impossible, as long I follow him, and he provides me with strength and courage.

[riobikini]

Andy, I think back to some of the really stupid, dangerous, and "wrong" things I did as a kid and I wonder, sometimes, why I'm even here.

 

(Smile)

 

I guess in my younger years, I have been rude, insensitive, hard-headed, and more than just a mild smart-mouth -among a few other things- and I'm lucky the people who had to put up with all that from me allowed me to live.

 

Going to everyone of them and begging for forgiveness isn't possible (some of them are now passed) .

 

But for some of the key people who stuck by me during my worst behavior, loved me even though I didn't think I was all that lovable, and dealt with my idiocy with a much deeper understanding than I ever dreamed I would ever be able to match- I *did* make the long trek back to make the settlements I knew I needed to make.

 

Some said they "knew" that I would someday reappear to offer whatever was in me -whatever changes that had been rendered during the lapsed time- to "set it straight" or, "make things right".

 

And they received me with that peculiar and "knowing" smile that you only get with the best of these kinds of outcomes.

 

And the experience wasn't disappointing.

 

That smile -and the look that goes with it- are a kind of "reward" for having grown up and, along the way, having found the courage to allow certain inner (and outer) changes that compel you to take an active role in reconciling past conflict -both personal and circumstantial.

 

It's like a heavy veil is removed and you see exactly what you must do in order to move on and maintain healthy growth and well-being in all aspects of your life.

 

A clear conscious is worth all the wealth that could ever be imagined -and going back to settle and reconcile what is still possible from the past -I believe- is essential for achieving a "clean slate" to create that eased conscious.

 

For me, it was not possible to smooth out and reconcile some of the conflict from my past -some of the people had already passed on into whatever their hereafters held for them.

 

But with new strength, more maturity, and the realization that I had gone as far with it as I could- I was able to settle it within myself -without their presence- anyway. The circumstances were the key to being able to do this -it was something I knew I had no control over.

 

Andy -you can only go as far with reconciling the past as life allows, and if you're the only one left with an apology to give, and the person to have received it is not here to hear it- you just acknowledge it, whisper it, and remind yourself to realize you, at least, grew up to this point- a point where you've become a more responsible person, more compassionate, and a person with deeper integrity -then you have to let it go.

 

And that's all that's required.

 

As for missed opportunities -I guess it depends on what kinds of circumstances involving opportunities you are talking about.

 

If it was an opportunity where you had the chance to tell someone your true heart, then if they are still important to you and are still breathing- go tell them.

 

If it was an opportunity where you missed a great job, or some material thing- I guess it would depend on the specific circumstances, the time elapsed, and much more information.

 

If you meant it was a missed opportunity to have done the "right thing", save a life, or have conducted your behavior in a more humane, civil, or polite way -then you must judge for yourself the far-reaching outcome of that, and if you can't go back and correct the "wrong" -then you make a commitment to yourself to change what your behavior, or action will be next time.

 

Here's what I want you to see out of all I have said: ***None of us can change the past -we can only change how we -and others- LOOK at the past.***

 

(Smile)

 

By adopting that view, we can all *do a lot* with the idea of reconciliation.

 

Take care.

 

-Rio

[twkvfx]

this is just recently. here goes: people have given you such respect earlier on, and until now you don't receive that same or lack of respect from them, because possibly you don't respect them back and nothing less but to enjoy the sensation of the warm love that you've been given. by respecting them back the people would appreciated your love and respect that they would respect you back. so is it ever too late to respect people back to regain the (agape) love and respect and relationship at this point?

[twkvfx]

this is just recently. here goes: people have given you such respect earlier on, and until now you don't receive that same or lack of respect from them, because possibly you don't respect them back and nothing less but to enjoy the sensation of the warm love that you've been given. by respecting them back the people would appreciated your love and respect that they would respect you back. so is it ever too late to respect people back to regain the (agape) love and respect and relationship at this point?

 

say like this specific error lasted for a couple of months. say 5 to 7 months. what would the consequences be depending on genders?

[Guest]

not really ... sometimes you've got to lay it all on the line. With forgiveness comes the act of reparation, or making whole that relationship again. If you leave out the important stuff (like sharing why it is important to you to mend the relationship), somewhere in the back of that person's mind will be the question "what if his intentions are the same as they were before and he totally trashes our relationship again?" By acknowleging the hurt caused by actions which you also acknowlege, you're paving the way for healing to take place. Otherwise, your intentions remain murky.

 

 

EXACTLY - THAT IS WHAT I BELIEVE AS WELL

[Guest]

u have mentioned. sometimes u have to bury part of your past, and keep the parts that remind you of the lessons learned so, during those times, when u struggle, they are they like anchors to hold on to and stop you from completely falling. for example: there are those [people] that i have decided will never be a part of my life again, but i haven't erased them from my mind because they represent the truly cruel side of humanity.

 

they act like triggers for me so when i slip up and say something mean because of temper or rash thinking, they pop up immediately and warn me - then it stop. i never had this ability before. i had many things that blocked my ability to see, hear and feel these things. as for forgiveness - it comes from yourself. i forgive everyone that have ever hurt me and i can do so because i forgive myself first and u can only forgive yourself if you start making changes to yourself.

 

and in the process of all this change, you reinvent yourself, you see others in a different way. things are clearer, there is no fog, and you might revert to methods of 'discovering' like reaching down to feel deep sadness, but u end up only going half way, until eventually u no longer need those 'cructhes' to do so and the process, once started, picks up pace and speed [blow] and ends quick and along the way you notice the road signs, the trees, the passangers - and you take snapshots to keep forever.

 

open your eyes

put it in drive

get on the road

and just go

highway signs

turn to treelines

and national park signs

moutains approach

and long winding roads

and the air turns to falling snow

the engine blazes

and the elevation raises

and the dyamite walls do't surround us

[twkvfx]

u have mentioned. sometimes u have to bury part of your past, and keep the parts that remind you of the lessons learned so, during those times, when u struggle, they are they like anchors to hold on to and stop you from completely falling. for example: there are those [people] that i have decided will never be a part of my life again, but i haven't erased them from my mind because they represent the truly cruel side of humanity.

 

they act like triggers for me so when i slip up and say something mean because of temper or rash thinking, they pop up immediately and warn me - then it stop. i never had this ability before. i had many things that blocked my ability to see, hear and feel these things. as for forgiveness - it comes from yourself. i forgive everyone that have ever hurt me and i can do so because i forgive myself first and u can only forgive yourself if you start making changes to yourself.

 

and in the process of all this change, you reinvent yourself, you see others in a different way. things are clearer, there is no fog, and you might revert to methods of 'discovering' like reaching down to feel deep sadness, but u end up only going half way, until eventually u no longer need those 'cructhes' to do so and the process, once started, picks up pace and speed [blow] and ends quick and along the way you notice the road signs, the trees, the passangers - and you take snapshots to keep forever.

 

open your eyes

put it in drive

get on the road

and just go

highway signs

turn to treelines

and national park signs

moutains approach

and long winding roads

and the air turns to falling snow

the engine blazes

and the elevation raises

and the dyamite walls do't surround us

 

whos path is it?

[twkvfx]

As for missed opportunities -I guess it depends on what kinds of circumstances involving opportunities you are talking about.

 

If it was an opportunity where you had the chance to tell someone your true heart, then if they are still important to you and are still breathing- go tell them.

 

If it was an opportunity where you missed a great job, or some material thing- I guess it would depend on the specific circumstances, the time elapsed, and much more information.

 

If you meant it was a missed opportunity to have done the "right thing", save a life, or have conducted your behavior in a more humane, civil, or polite way -then you must judge for yourself the far-reaching outcome of that, and if you can't go back and correct the "wrong" -then you make a commitment to yourself to change what your behavior, or action will be next time.

 

Here's what I want you to see out of all I have said: ***None of us can change the past -we can only change how we -and others- LOOK at the past.***

 

(Smile)

 

By adopting that view, we can all *do a lot* with the idea of reconciliation.

 

Take care.

 

-Rio

 

The opportunity that I have missed was to show that I will give respect to him/her. To give back for what I have received, and selfsh. I'm afraid that they don't want me to be part of their lives anymore and not treating me in a significant way. For me for how I can see this is to look at the relational qualities in between.