Regret27 Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 i miss my boyfriend. yesterday i cheated on him and i feel so guilty because now my relationship of 3 years is over. we have been together for 3 years and im so sad that he doesnt want to see me, but i understand. i hurt him. i hurt myself. i never wanted this to happen and i didnt think i would of done it, but i did. i just wanted to be held in which my boyfriend was not there to do because he was out with his friends in which he rather be like always, so i decided to go out and look what happened. if i could take back what happened yesterday i would. we of course were having problems, but i hope that we get through this and honestly learn from it and grow closer. What i did was not right and i know if he would of done it to me i would be so hurt right now. i wish that things get better between us. i love him so much and we have never broken up before. i guess this is are first time. We always seem to work through are problems. We never give up, but this time I can tell when I saw him today he wanted nothing to do with me. I want us to be together and i want him to spend more time with me rather than being with his friends. Everything happens for a reason and I hope that we get back together. I miss him and im so sorry for what i did. Link to post Share on other sites
billhere57 Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 You clearly don't care about anybody but yourself. Good for your boyfriend for dumping you. Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 I can see why your bf is hurt, and this i just wanted to be held in which my boyfriend was not there to do because he was out with his friends in which he rather be like always, so i decided to go out and look what happened. would probably worry him as much as the actual cheating. I mean, he could have got the idea that your solution to problems you might be having with him is going out and cheating on him. Yet, you have been together three years, you have never cheated before, so what you did was not really "in character" with you. And you are feeling very bad about it, and chose to tell him about it straight away. I hope your bf will give you another chance and that you can get back together and try to work problems out in your relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
destination_unknown Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 Dont mind that lad above saying little boy mean things with his 1 post. Ok, these things are not usually clear cut. You cheated, it was not the smartest thing to do, you know that and have expressed your regret. Right, so you are saying that the reason you cheated was because your boyfriend isn't there for you and is always off out with his friends. Ok, did you tell him that you felt he wasn't making an effort in the relationship and that you needed intimate time with him to sustain the relationship? This is what would have been the best course of action, followed by if he didn't give a ****, breaking up before finding someone else to be close with. I'm sure you know all this. Perhaps this is for the best, three years is a long time. But if you felt lonely enough in the relationship that you turned elsewhere, would you have wanted to stay that lonely for another twenty years? There's two stereotypical scenarios here, 1. your boyfriend has been treating you so badly for so long that you cheated, 2. you have insecurity issues and need constant unreasonable reassurance from whoever you are with and can't be without a man. I'm hoping you have apologised and told him your reasons for cheating and that you love him. After that, you have to let him process whats happened, give him some space to decide what he wants. Perhaps things will work out, perhaps not. But you will be ok. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 Dont mind that lad above saying little boy mean things with his 1 post. Because post count determines wisdom, right? Also, what did the "lad" say that was wrong? He said you clearly dont care about your bf, and good for him for dumping her. Lets review: Girl confirms cheating? check. Completely assinine excuse like "my bf wasnt there so i went out and look what happened" check. Conclusion: Yes, this chick doesn't care about her bf, and her bf *is* indeed better off. To say he isnt is like saying someone is better off with herpes than without. Ok, these things are not usually clear cut. You cheated, it was not the smartest thing to do, you know that and have expressed your regret. It seems pretty clean cut and dare I say: outright cliche. "oh my bf isnt there for me, so i cheated" I mean, next she's gonna include she was drunk as well? Perhaps this is for the best, three years is a long time. But if you felt lonely enough in the relationship that you turned elsewhere, would you have wanted to stay that lonely for another twenty years? It is for the best, atleast for this dude. Just look at the way she worded this "so i went out and look what happened" as if she's trying to imply it is her bf's fault for not being there so he forced her out into the world legs already spread, waiting for the first penis to zoom by. To the OP: Let your bf go, you dont seem remorseful. If youre gonna stay with a guy for three years then go cheat on him, with such a non-chalant attitude to phrase it like "so i decided to go out and look what happened" what happen is this guy learned the true nature of his gf, or should I say, ex gf Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 i didnt sleep with him. i kissed him and let him touch me. the whole time with guiltyness not knowing how to stop it, i was not strong enough, but i was strong enough to know i was not going to sleep with him and that is for sure. i have told him everythiing. i think he has a right to know. im not blaming him for what i did! i know i fkd up and i dont know why. i know i said because he was not there, that is just because i really wanted to be with him that night and he choose to be with his freinds. i know its my fault and hopefully i can be with him but i totally understand that i promised him that i wouldnt do anything to hurt him and i did. i wish i could take it back. i wish i was not insecure but i am and i did cheat and im sad things are not the way they use to be Link to post Share on other sites
pogostick_4 Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 Don't beat yourself too hard on it, everyone makes mistakes, we're not perfect. I'm sure that he needs some time to think about it and if you give it to him, he'll come back. Try to think on the reasons on what really made to kiss the other guy and when approaching him, remind him of those special moments you guys spended together. Then finally, keep praying that he does come back. He's just steam, give him that time. Link to post Share on other sites
littlepiggy1 Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 First of all, you need to own up your responsibility. Saying stuff like "i never wanted this to happen". You did want it to happen, because you let it happen. It's not like you were forced against your will here. So you need to own up to the reasons why you wanted this to happen. You also said, "we of course were having problems, but i hope that we get through this and honestly learn from it and grow closer". What problems were you having? Maybe you just aren't satisified with the relationship. Maybe the level of intimacy you want isn't there any more. Regardless, you chose to cheat and now you have to take responsibility for that choice. And this means being honest with yourself about why the heck you did it in the first place. The ball is in his court, though. If he doesn't want to take you back, then you have to accept that, learn from this, and avoid the same mistake in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Interloper Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 Don't worry, this is clearly your boyfriends fault for being out with his friends and not being there to hold you Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 First of all how old are you two? Secondly, I feel for you because when I was in my early twenties I did the same thing and lost someone I loved. The thing is they never look at you the same way again. You've fallen off that pedestal and will never regain your position. Also now you have left the door open for him to do the same. Take it from me who has many years behind her; apologize again, move on and learn not to ever make this mistake again in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 i didnt sleep with him. i kissed him and let him touch me. the whole time with guiltyness not knowing how to stop it Hmm, not knowing how to stop it? Atleast two things come to mind immediately. Saying "stop" and simply just walking away. i think he has a right to know. im not blaming him for what i did! Curious, so, saying "he wasnt there so I went out and look what happened" wasn't mean to put atleast partial blame on him? I stand corrected. i know i fkd up and i dont know why. i know i said because he was not there, that is just because i really wanted to be with him that night and he choose to be with his freinds. So the guy can't have friends, and now if he does decide to take you back, he has to worry about you getting felt up everytime he has a night out with the guys? You must realize no girl is worth that. i know its my fault and hopefully i can be with him but i totally understand that i promised him that i wouldnt do anything to hurt him and i did. i wish i could take it back. i wish i was not insecure but i am and i did cheat and im sad things are not the way they use to be Dont count on him coming back, most guys wont put up with that. Especially if you blamed it on him being out, atleast you learned a lesson: If your bfs out with his friends, dont go fool around with random guys. Oh and a little tip for your next relationship? Buy a stuffed animal, just in case you get any cravings to "be held" and nobody is around. Link to post Share on other sites
lauracollin Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 You deserve it. I know that what I is harsh but that is the consequence of your actions. You should have thought about this before you did it. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted September 1, 2006 Share Posted September 1, 2006 So lets me see if I'm following your post.... Your boyfriend went out with his friends. You wanted to be held. So you made a conscious decision to "go out". You found someone to fulfill your desire for attention. Doesn't sound like it was just a mistake to me. It sounds like you went out of your way to look for someone to cheat with. You have absolutely no self control and you want your boyfriend to forgive you? You got what you deserved. EDIT: Furthermore, why should he forgive you when you can't even be trusted to go out by yourself? Oh you were depressed and feeling needy, yeah great excuse. I think you have some growing up to do. Link to post Share on other sites
rina_r Posted September 1, 2006 Share Posted September 1, 2006 i didnt sleep with him. i kissed him and let him touch me. the whole time with guiltyness not knowing how to stop it, i Oh, come on! How to stop it? Say "NO", get up , and leave! If you are not strong enough for that, that means your feelings towards your b/f are not worth much either. Link to post Share on other sites
DarkShadows Posted September 1, 2006 Share Posted September 1, 2006 Don't worry, this is clearly your boyfriends fault for being out with his friends and not being there to hold you Haha nice sarcasm there! Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 Sorry girl, I am going to have to agree with everyone else on this thread. If I were to judge you by what you posted, I would guess you were about 16 years old and extremely inmature. Link to post Share on other sites
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