lovelylady1234 Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 Sorry this is a double post from another area, but I realized I posted it in the dating section instead of the marriage forum. Sorry for the long post, but I feel it needs to be said. Just thought I would make a positive post out of a negative situation, for those in a troubled relationship. I was in a predicament, my husband became a real downer (possibly depressed), seemed to lose interest in me and our marriage. I started a hobby and met another guy I thought I liked, became obsessed with him, wanted to jump his bones. Shortly after, I found loveshack, came on here and asked for help. People told me to run in the other direction and work on my marriage, but for a few months I couldn't see past this guy. I let him cloud my marriage with "the grass is always greener" syndrome. I did whatever I could to talk to him or be with him. Greatfully, it never progressed to anything other than platonic friendship. Then, I had a heart to heart with my H about our troubles and get this. HE LISTENED and made an effort to think about the situation and then came to me one day with a renewed commitment to me and our marriage. This was a little while ago but so far he's a new man. And the strangest thing is this OM, all of a sudden didn't look so great. It was amazing. It was as if all the clouds parted and I could see clearly. I love my husband I always did, I just got "caught up in the moment". But believe me when I say this. THE MOMENT PASSES. You just must give it a chance. I also realized through all this, my problems weren't as bad as it first seemed. I was actually was MAKING it worse and creating problems because of this other guy. I was an idiot. I have 12 years invested in my relationship. No he's not perfect but he's perfect for me. So this is for all of the people who may be in my spot or find yourself in my spot at some point. I know how you feel, I posted on here and felt like I got everybody's "Holier than thou" judgment on infidelity, but as someone who has been there, I say do yourself a favor and take at least one day to step back from the feelings and look at the big picture. Your relationship wasn't created in a day and it won't fix itself in a day either. Good luck to all of you and I will be here to help as much as I can. Link to post Share on other sites
destination_unknown Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 Excellent post! Link to post Share on other sites
flowerpot Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 I'ts what I wish my wife would have done! Now we are facing a divorce,She's not happy for what she has done. All of this could have been avoided.Our situation is parallel to yours!! Best of luck to you both! Link to post Share on other sites
sylviaguardian Posted September 2, 2006 Share Posted September 2, 2006 Lovely lady, What a great post. The difference between you and other people who come here with the carnage in tow is that you had enough intelligence to look at the consequences of your behaviour and you also had enough guilt to re-consider what you were about to do. You've invested 12 years - I hope you have many more. Congratulations on not getting on the rollercoaster ride. Syl Link to post Share on other sites
feminafortis Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 I wish someone had pointed this out to me a year ago, before I destroyed my marriage Link to post Share on other sites
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