reneet Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 i have to laugh your name is that of the W. Alex OMG that is too funny. LOL No I am not the wife!!!! I'm glad you're laughing. Laughter is good for the soul. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 5, 2006 Author Share Posted September 5, 2006 well , here i am again. I'm trying to get healthy again. Dont see me getting back to my exercise routine anytime soon. But i will. But as for my MM , yes i have talked to him , we got in a horrible argument last week. And then of course we both apologized. Weekend came and we couldnt talk with everyone home. Which is hard.....I thought about him alot and tried to go through my life and just trying to move on. We talked yesterday, I dont know what to think sometimes. Out of the blue he told me a convo his W and HIM had. He said he was laying on the recliner because he legs were killing him from his workout. And she came into the room and looked over at him and said " I know you miss her" (meaning me) she asked him not to answer but that she knew. I asked him why he didnt answer her anyway and he said if he said YES it would have started a huge argument in front of the kids. And if he said NO it was a lie. I asked him if he was doing anything that make her think that. He said he thinks she is finally reliezing how we feel for each other. He hasnet told her we are talking. I dont know what is going to happen, why would she say that? If she wants him to stay for the kids why bring me up. other than that we talked about the kids and about us, and my health. I told him i broke down this weekend and cried and did some yelling , and he asked if i hated him. I didnt answer at first - part of me what to say yes - only because i want him to leave her and the kids ( i know - selfish). he told me he loved me and that he was so happy to hear my voice. I told him i loved him and we are suppose to talk tonight. I guess im confused by the W.. I told him i dont think she is ever going to let this go, if she said that. I keep wondering if one day she going to tell him to pack his bags. This isnt the first time she has mentioned me to him about our feelings. She told him she knows he is worried about me, and that she knows he loves me. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Obviously she loves him too and is willing to fight for her husband. Rightfully so, seeing as they're married. To be honest, I don't believe your MM is 100% honest with you either. He is putting his own spin on things. His wife easily could be sympathizing, saying, "yes, I know you love and miss her..." to show support as she's probably believing (CUZ HE TOLD HER HE'S IN NO CONTACT MODE WITH YOU) that he's having withdrawal from you...When in actual fact, he's lying to her once again... If they are "trying" to fix their marriage, (he won't tell you the truth I bet) then they are more than likely having sex again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 6, 2006 Author Share Posted September 6, 2006 Obviously she loves him too and is willing to fight for her husband. Rightfully so, seeing as they're married. To be honest, I don't believe your MM is 100% honest with you either. He is putting his own spin on things. His wife easily could be sympathizing, saying, "yes, I know you love and miss her..." to show support as she's probably believing (CUZ HE TOLD HER HE'S IN NO CONTACT MODE WITH YOU) that he's having withdrawal from you...When in actual fact, he's lying to her once again... If they are "trying" to fix their marriage, (he won't tell you the truth I bet) then they are more than likely having sex again. I understand that she wants to fight for him. She claims that she was willing to forgive him and try and work things out. He has cheated on her before and they have talked about ending the marriage before. The other people he cheated with were just sexual relationships but ours became more than that as time went by. Whether or not they are having sex i dont know. I know what he tells me and their have been sexual issues in their marriage WAY before me. As for the lieing, i know he is lieing. He promised her he would have NO CONTACT with me. And ever since this whole thing blew up we have been talking just about everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 6, 2006 Author Share Posted September 6, 2006 update: We talked last night for a brief moment. For me to find out that she is now blaming me for every restriced , private or unknown call on his cell phone. I have to admit that i have called it a few times. But not like she is saying. He told me that she is now saying that if she sees one more call of the nature she going to have his cell number changed. She checks his phone everyday and looks online to see the calls he makes and receives. Link to post Share on other sites
BUTAFLY Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 WWIU reminded me of a statement someone told me along time ago. "What you fight to get you'll fight to keep". This goes for you and the W. In this case, since he chose to stay, she has a long time of battling her h to stay soley with her or battling every women who dares to get close to her husband (she will create her own hell if she doesn't get C). I believe you fight in/for someones honor, you don't fight to win someones love. The intensity of feelings have to be the same with both partners in order to have a healthy relationship. One person can't be hoplessly in love and the other be there just because. If so, the heart will continue to wander looking for fullfilment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 6, 2006 Author Share Posted September 6, 2006 WWIU reminded me of a statement someone told me along time ago. "What you fight to get you'll fight to keep". This goes for you and the W. In this case, since he chose to stay, she has a long time of battling her h to stay soley with her or battling every women who dares to get close to her husband (she will create her own hell if she doesn't get C). I believe you fight in/for someones honor, you don't fight to win someones love. The intensity of feelings have to be the same with both partners in order to have a healthy relationship. One person can't be hoplessly in love and the other be there just because. If so, the heart will continue to wander looking for fullfilment. One thing i know is i'm not fighting for the love. I do believe i have that. The selfish part of me is fighting for him to leave while she is fighting for him to stay Link to post Share on other sites
reneet Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 One thing i know is i'm not fighting for the love. I do believe i have that. The selfish part of me is fighting for him to leave while she is fighting for him to stay Your man needs to make that move. You shouldn't have to fight for it!! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 update: We talked last night for a brief moment. For me to find out that she is now blaming me for every restriced , private or unknown call on his cell phone. I have to admit that i have called it a few times. But not like she is saying. He told me that she is now saying that if she sees one more call of the nature she going to have his cell number changed. She checks his phone everyday and looks online to see the calls he makes and receives. Ofcourse she's checking up on him, rightfully so! Seeing as he has told her he's in NC mode with you, she needs to check up on his to make sure he isn't lying. It's just sad now that he's promised her one thing, and doing the opposite of his words. He's making a FOOL of her by still talking to you. And you're helping him by NOT allowing him space to work on his marriage. This whole thing IS going to blow up BIG TIME, it's only a matter of time........ Unless that's what you want? She'll get pissed off and hurt enough so she'll say "here, you have him" and you will take him from her. Sorry, that if that sounds grumpy, but the reality is, YOU are calling the cell, and yes, she'll probably change it. She doesn't trust him at all yet, again, rightfully so. Your MM is a selfish and cruel person, by knowingly lying to her now, after all, before she didn't know, and now she does and is willing to fix things and he's STILL behind her back lying..... It's your life and you're going to do what you're going to do...It's just the MM won't "do" anything because right now he's got it all happening. ALL his needs are met so why should he give one woman up when he can have two? Link to post Share on other sites
reneet Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 It's really pathetic that his wife has to do all that. She should dump him!!! Easy as that!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 6, 2006 Author Share Posted September 6, 2006 It's really pathetic that his wife has to do all that. She should dump him!!! Easy as that!! I think she should too....She doesnt trust him. knows how he feels and underlying probably knows we still have contact..I truley think the problem is that she is frightened to be on her own. See here is the deal , she got pregnant at 18 by HIM. They were only dating for 5 months. He married her , because he said it was the right thing to do....Baby came and had medical issues and he passed away in surgery. They had another child about a year later and had problems with the marraige...He left for the army and she followed after awhile. They discussed a divorce back then. After three years they had another child (not planned). He got fixed and they continued their marriage. He then started cheating on and off. We met , which wasnt what we planned.... But it happened.. I know she has made a comment in regards to him being the only person she has known....Which has made him feel guilty...And she has also mentioned their first son...(guilty again) Link to post Share on other sites
reneet Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 MY MAN's wife has yet to file for divorce. She's a fool for not filing already. Don't know what she's waiting for. Maybe it's a financial issue. Anyway, She needs to let MY MAN go already. We've been together for 6 years & living together for over 4 years. IMO, She's a MORON!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 6, 2006 Author Share Posted September 6, 2006 MY MAN's wife has yet to file for divorce. She's a fool for not filing already. Don't know what she's waiting for. Maybe it's a financial issue. Anyway, She needs to let MY MAN go already. We've been together for 6 years & living together for over 4 years. IMO, She's a MORON!!!!! Which W is the MORON yours or mine? I think both are....I mean really if he says he loves someone else...just staying for the kids and she knows it. Why go through it. She knows he misses me , loves me. Basically probably knows we are still talking. What's her problem.... As for your W....I think they do this crap to drive us insane...Its a game to them... Link to post Share on other sites
reneet Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 Which W is the MORON yours or mine? I think both are....I mean really if he says he loves someone else...just staying for the kids and she knows it. Why go through it. She knows he misses me , loves me. Basically probably knows we are still talking. What's her problem.... As for your W....I think they do this crap to drive us insane...Its a game to them... I think My man's wife is an idiot. But then again, she has a boyfriend. I wouldn't stay married to someone who was living with another woman. Some say I'm the fool. I beg to differ. SHE'S the bigger fool!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
BUTAFLY Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 Your man needs to make that move. You shouldn't have to fight for it!! This is her own hell. She wants to deal with it let her deal. How do you begin to call this a marriage where she can't trust her own husband? NO ONE should have to go through such lengths to keep a man & make him be true. It will not work, but i'm sure she will kill herself trying. But thats her. You on the other hand have been given an opportunity to break free. I don't know if you believe in a higher power but I think an intervention has taken place. The toxin better know as MM has been exposed. Now you can be free to find real love thats waiting for you. A man who will give you his heart, his soul, his body, to you and only you. He will be able to be honest, true, loyal only to you. If you keep dealing with this mm you will never find that, his past proves he's not capable. His wife is doing you a favor and maybe one day her eyes will open, but till then I hope she is there blocking communication between you and mm just so you can move on and find the real man who's waiting for you and that you deserve to be with. Link to post Share on other sites
reneet Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 This is her own hell. She wants to deal with it let her deal. How do you begin to call this a marriage where she can't trust her own husband? NO ONE should have to go through such lengths to keep a man & make him be true. It will not work, but i'm sure she will kill herself trying. But thats her. You on the other hand have been given an opportunity to break free. I don't know if you believe in a higher power but I think an intervention has taken place. The toxin better know as MM has been exposed. Now you can be free to find real love thats waiting for you. A man who will give you his heart, his soul, his body, to you and only you. He will be able to be honest, true, loyal only to you. If you keep dealing with this mm you will never find that, his past proves he's not capable. His wife is doing you a favor and maybe one day her eyes will open, but till then I hope she is there blocking communication between you and mm just so you can move on and find the real man who's waiting for you and that you deserve to be with. WRONG!! I have his heart, body & soul. SHE IS NOT blocking anything between him & I. We live together. We have that REAL LOVE you've spoken of. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 6, 2006 Author Share Posted September 6, 2006 WRONG!! I have his heart, body & soul. SHE IS NOT blocking anything between him & I. We live together. We have that REAL LOVE you've spoken of. hey im hoping on the same thing here..... Link to post Share on other sites
reneet Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 hey im hoping on the same thing here..... I wish I knew you & your man. I'd sit you both down & say "What's the game plan here?" T here has to be an end result. I'm hoping your's will result in HIM leaving her!!!! Sooner than later!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 6, 2006 Author Share Posted September 6, 2006 I wish I knew you & your man. I'd sit you both down & say "What's the game plan here?" T here has to be an end result. I'm hoping your's will result in HIM leaving her!!!! Sooner than later!!! I wish you did also....I know one thing if he would just confide in someone and they would let him know those kids will be ok. He would leave in second....I wish he would just listen and see the kids will be ok. As along as he stays as close with them as he is now. He is looking at his upbringing and terrified of doing that to them.... Link to post Share on other sites
reneet Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 I wish you did also....I know one thing if he would just confide in someone and they would let him know those kids will be ok. He would leave in second....I wish he would just listen and see the kids will be ok. As along as he stays as close with them as he is now. He is looking at his upbringing and terrified of doing that to them.... Kids adjust!!!! My man's kids are 13, 21 & 25. They are all fine. How old are the kids involved in your situation? Link to post Share on other sites
BUTAFLY Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 WRONG!! I have his heart, body & soul. SHE IS NOT blocking anything between him & I. We live together. We have that REAL LOVE you've spoken of. My reply was for yousaveme..Reneet I just read your post and your situation is completely different... your man left his wife to be with you, yousaveme man choose to stay with W. PS reneet, Your man's wife is a moron. Link to post Share on other sites
reneet Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 My reply was for yousaveme..Reneet I just read your post and your situation is completely different... your man left his wife to be with you, yousaveme man choose to stay with W. PS reneet, Your man's wife is a moron. Sorry, I stand corrected & YES, SHE is an idiot!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 6, 2006 Author Share Posted September 6, 2006 Sorry, I stand corrected & YES, SHE is an idiot!!!!!! your W is an idiot.... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 I think she should too....She doesnt trust him. knows how he feels and underlying probably knows we still have contact..I truley think the problem is that she is frightened to be on her own. See here is the deal , she got pregnant at 18 by HIM. They were only dating for 5 months. He married her , because he said it was the right thing to do....Baby came and had medical issues and he passed away in surgery. They had another child about a year later and had problems with the marraige...He left for the army and she followed after awhile. They discussed a divorce back then. After three years they had another child (not planned). He got fixed and they continued their marriage. He then started cheating on and off. We met , which wasnt what we planned.... But it happened.. I know she has made a comment in regards to him being the only person she has known....Which has made him feel guilty...And she has also mentioned their first son...(guilty again) YOu're making her out to be the bad guy here. It's not her fault that he never had the balls to end the marriage. IF he was that miserable with her, he didn't have to continue life with her. Ofcourse she is fighting for him and wants him around, you may see it as manipulative or controlling, her bringing up the loss of their child, but it's her way of trying to FIX things in their lives. He IS doing a crappy job and she deserves better. He isn't respecting her at all, again, he's making a complete FOOL of her by letting her believe that he isn't intouch with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 6, 2006 Author Share Posted September 6, 2006 YOu're making her out to be the bad guy here. It's not her fault that he never had the balls to end the marriage. IF he was that miserable with her, he didn't have to continue life with her. Ofcourse she is fighting for him and wants him around, you may see it as manipulative or controlling, her bringing up the loss of their child, but it's her way of trying to FIX things in their lives. He IS doing a crappy job and she deserves better. He isn't respecting her at all, again, he's making a complete FOOL of her by letting her believe that he isn't intouch with you. i agree he isnt respecting her and is making her look like a fool by being in touch with me. But bottom line she knows he still is in contact with me. She a fool for thinking its going to stop. She asked him to have NC with me. He hasnt done that. She has said to him " I know you love her" , "i know you miss her". I understand to a point why she is fighting to fix the marriage. But she has to relieze at somepoint its isnt going to get FIXED. when there are all these other factors. I truly believe he is just trying to make the kids happy. Funny part after talking to him since SHE found out they kids have been acting weird from what i hear. They heard them fighting. He isnt sure if they heard exactly what they have been fighting about. But im not sure how long this is going to last before its all out in the open. Him still in contact with me and they kids finding out. I think once all that happens , its only a matter of time. I'm torn because i just want what is best for those kids. I dont want them looking at me as my reason for their parents not together. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts