denhaag Posted September 26, 2006 Share Posted September 26, 2006 Greetings, Please read & re-read this message.... Steps To Freedom Change What Isn't Working We have all had the experience of realizing that something in our lives is not working. This knowledge can come as a sudden realization or a nagging feeling of doubt that grows stronger, waking us up to the fact that something needs to change. Some people have a tendency to act rashly and make sweeping changes before even understanding what the problem is. Other people fear change, so they live with the uncomfortable awareness that something needs to shift but won't do anything about it. Between these two extreme responses lies a middle way that can help us powerfully and gracefully change what isn't working in our lives. The first step is remembering that your life is made up of parts that belong to an interconnected whole. Changing one thing can change everything. Because of this, small changes often have a big effect. Sometimes much bigger changes are necessary, but the only way to know for sure is to take the time to really understand the problem. Examine your life as an entirety-your work, your relationships, where you live-and determine what specifically is not functioning the way you would like. Once you have figured out the problem, write it down on a piece of paper. For example, "I am not happy with my relationship" or "I don't like my apartment." The next step is to figure out the adjustment you would like to make and how you can go about making this change. If you are unhappy with your relationship because you spend too much or not enough time with your partner, you may want to discuss this problem with them and come up with a compromise. On the other hand, if you realize your relationship is not working to such a degree that it needs to end, begin working through that process. Writing down the truth can be a powerful catalyst for change. The key to making changes that work is to accept the necessity of change as part of life. As we change, we may find it necessary to fine-tune our relationships, work, and living situations. Our lives are living, breathing entities that reflect our dynamic selves. Link to post Share on other sites
Seen_It_All Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 I did ask him about his sons game. He asked if i was there. I told him no. I told you i wasnt going until we are together and i met the kids. He understood, But i could tell it bothered him. Just making sure I got this straight. He's 'bothered' that you didn't attend his kid's game, yet he couldn't be at the hospital for you when you had your surgery? Yeah, yeah, I know. You don't want to hear anything negative because it doesn't feed the delusion. Got it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 27, 2006 Author Share Posted September 27, 2006 Just making sure I got this straight. He's 'bothered' that you didn't attend his kid's game, yet he couldn't be at the hospital for you when you had your surgery? Yeah, yeah, I know. You don't want to hear anything negative because it doesn't feed the delusion. Got it. Never said i didnt listen to the negative. yea i thought about that. Like i said it bothered him and i could tell. I couldnt go...Just like he couldnt be at the hospital and it bothered me. Link to post Share on other sites
reneet Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 Never said i didnt listen to the negative. yea i thought about that. Like i said it bothered him and i could tell. I couldnt go...Just like he couldnt be at the hospital and it bothered me. Now we're delusional too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 27, 2006 Author Share Posted September 27, 2006 Now we're delusional too. We're delusional? matter of opinion....And since mine says im not and i dont believe you are either.... Link to post Share on other sites
reneet Posted September 27, 2006 Share Posted September 27, 2006 We're delusional? matter of opinion....And since mine says im not and i dont believe you are either.... THE BITTER WIVES ARE DELUSIONAL Link to post Share on other sites
lighthouse Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 So what happened with this whole nightmare? LH Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted October 24, 2006 Author Share Posted October 24, 2006 So what happened with this whole nightmare? LH Back together...working it out... Im sure im going to get all sorts of negative comments now... Link to post Share on other sites
reneet Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 Back together...working it out... Im sure im going to get all sorts of negative comments now... I'm waiting to hear something here too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted October 24, 2006 Author Share Posted October 24, 2006 I'm waiting to hear something here too. YES... IM STILL WITH HIM. I STILL LOVE HIM, HE STILL LOVES ME... I WILL SAVE EVERYONE THE TROUBLE... 1. Let me guess i need help 2. I'm a homewrecker 3. I'm a delusional fool 4. He is using me Do i have it all pretty much covered? Yes, he wife found out...They are together for the sake of the kids..But the marriage is basically over..Kids are the only reason he is still there. Yes, she ( the W ) knows how he feels about me.. But stays because of her kids... Link to post Share on other sites
lighthouse Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 I just asked. I wasn't making accusations or calling you names. How is the cancer? Are you OK? LH Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted October 25, 2006 Author Share Posted October 25, 2006 I just asked. I wasn't making accusations or calling you names. How is the cancer? Are you OK? LH Nothing personal to you LH...I just feel like so many times when i posted i was getting more negative advice then anything. Thank you for asking... So far cancer wise im okay for now. Keeping my fingers crossed and hoping i dont have anymore problems. But really, my MM are back together...He has said to me that we were never really broken up, that it was a confusing time when his wife found out and that he regrets alot of things he said to me during that time. That being one of them. The marriage is basically over, they both have basically agreed to that, but yes they are together for the time being for the sake of their kids. Im at not thrilled by the situtation , but im trying to be patient. I do believe that the marriage is basically over on both parts and that they are together for the time being for the children. ( Dont ask me how but i was a sneak and read something). I also am starting to think that deep down his W knows im not out of the picture. As i have said before she mentions me to him...( I know you lover her , miss her etc...). She has asked if he has talked to me ( since he promised her the affair was over and we were in no contact ) but in the same breathe she has said " YOU WOULDNT TELL ME ANYWAY IF YOU HAVE TALKED TO HER" and his answer has been " NO I WOULDNT". I have gone through alot lately and i am scared of getting hurt all over again but i do trust him. I believe that this nightmare of a situtation will end. I just concerned about how long this will drag out. January will be a year for us... Link to post Share on other sites
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