Author yousaveme Posted September 20, 2006 Author Share Posted September 20, 2006 I agree with WWIU. You have no way of knowing wher HOME is ultimately going to be for this guy. So in the mean time, you need to take better care of you. Stop putting yourself in the position to see him and his W and kids. None of your business, no matter what he tells you. If the shoe was on the other foot, you would feel completely violated. This guy means you no good. I wish I could shake it into you. I really do. But I won't post on this thread anymore. Like most others seem to have stopped. He was looking for a FWB, in his mind, that is exactly what he has. That light at the end of the tunnel.....its the train. If you feel the need not to post on here anymore that i totally up to you. I have read everyone posts and believe it or not have taken what everyone has said into consideration. If i didnt i wouldnt continue posting myself. This site has helped me considerably and i thank everyone, even those posts i wasnt favorable with. I have been focusing on my health and in healing , but i still have this on my mind and in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 20, 2006 Author Share Posted September 20, 2006 I had a horrible nite. I could sleep. My stomach was so messed up. I know its the meds and part of the process. But somedays are harder than others. I cant wait for this to be done and over with. Of course since i couldnt sleep i started thinking about the convo HIM and I had that day. And i analzyed everything. This is part of my problem. I know i need to stop doing that to myself because it makes me so stressed by the time i do talk to him. Like everyone has said HE needs to make a 100% decision. I agree. Question i guess is when im i going to be strong enough and focused wnough to put my foot down. I get so many mixed emotions i get mad at him for not leaving and i get mad at her ( W) for not seeing what is going on and letting go. And i get upset with myself for thinking all the above. Here goes another day. I have to get some rest today. I have a bloodwork appt tomorrow and films. So i need to rest , relax and keep my fingers crossed for great results.... Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 I have to get some rest today. I have a bloodwork appt tomorrow and films. So i need to rest , relax and keep my fingers crossed for great results.... Go take a break from LS, curl up and watch some TV. Good thoughts only! Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 20, 2006 Author Share Posted September 20, 2006 Im curling up ...by crying ..Its just a bad day...I really bad day. I want to be positive i just dont have it in me today. Link to post Share on other sites
portableversion Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 from a shrink. You have some MAJOR boundary problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 20, 2006 Author Share Posted September 20, 2006 from a shrink. You have some MAJOR boundary problems. I have MAJOR boundary problems? Problem you dont know the whole story to be making that kind of a statement. But its people like you , that makes coming here hard. Link to post Share on other sites
reneet Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 I have MAJOR boundary problems? Problem you dont know the whole story to be making that kind of a statement. But its people like you , that makes coming here hard. Yousaveme, You don't need to listen to nasty posters! Ignore it! It's not worth your thoughts let alone your breath. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 20, 2006 Author Share Posted September 20, 2006 Yousaveme, You don't need to listen to nasty posters! Ignore it! It's not worth your thoughts let alone your breath. God today is a bad day...And reading what the poster said is making it worse. I dont know where my head is today. I should be focused on me. I cant do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 20, 2006 Author Share Posted September 20, 2006 I got a phone call today from a nasty person at his work..There was an issue awhile ago with this person, but because they left the job. I guess they think getting ahold of me is going to hurt him. At times we talk like things are great and going to be. Then we argue like cats and dogs. Since she found out its been hard to communicate like we use to. The love is there , still the same hasnt changed. They caring for each other is the same. Sometimes the closeness feels different. We used to talk for hours and txt when we couldnt be together. We cant now. Its been limited to the iming and talking for an hour or so a day. Sometimes makes me wonder can we get threw this. Is what we have strong enough to deal with this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 20, 2006 Author Share Posted September 20, 2006 I dont know what the future holds...I guess i should just take one day at a time....Before i drive myself insane. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 20, 2006 Author Share Posted September 20, 2006 alright i spent part of the morning crying...Like a moron..i think its just an overwhelming part of emotions between being sick and trying to get better and thinking more into things then i need too. Plus didnt help i was watching the NOTEBOOK. that movie always makes me cry... Why are men so quiet with their thoughts and us women let it all out?.... I hate that... Anyway im going to get some rest and tomorrow will be another day.... Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 YSM-Hope you're feeling better...don't overanalyze and concentrate on YOU... Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 21, 2006 Author Share Posted September 21, 2006 YSM-Hope you're feeling better...don't overanalyze and concentrate on YOU... thanks and your right i need to stop overanalyzing everything. One thing about me that drives everyone around me crazy. I do it all the time. And in this situtation i do it alot. Im starting to feel alittle better. some days better than others... Communication with my MM is limited right now, he has a big testing thing with work. So its been pretty calm..(Well im trying to stay calm) Everyday is a new day...And always hoping for the best out of it Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 21, 2006 Author Share Posted September 21, 2006 Well dr called i have to go in tomorrow. I hopeing and praying for good well any news that isnt horrible. I will just about take any kind that doesnt include more surgery , treatment or anything along those lines. Link to post Share on other sites
reneet Posted September 21, 2006 Share Posted September 21, 2006 Well dr called i have to go in tomorrow. I hopeing and praying for good well any news that isnt horrible. I will just about take any kind that doesnt include more surgery , treatment or anything along those lines. Well Good Luck tomorrrow!! Keep us posted!! :) Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 22, 2006 Author Share Posted September 22, 2006 later today im off to the doctors... hoping for good news... As for going to his son's game. Im not. I cant do it. Talked to him about it. He sounded disappointed but said he understood. Has testing today, but he called to talk. Its was a ok convo. I wished him luck and told him to call me to let me know how things went. Im trying harder not to overanalyze everything. Very hard , but im trying at least. Well i hoping for my own good news today and worry about the rest later. Link to post Share on other sites
reneet Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 Good luck & let us know how you make out!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 22, 2006 Author Share Posted September 22, 2006 Good luck & let us know how you make out!! thanks and i will Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 22, 2006 Author Share Posted September 22, 2006 Good luck & let us know how you make out!! well some good news finally. look like surgery is working. Still have to go through treatment for awhile but its finally looking positive. Now im getting down in the dumps because i cant tell him. And dont know if i can tell him today. Link to post Share on other sites
reneet Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 You can text/im him with "Good News" Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 22, 2006 Author Share Posted September 22, 2006 You can text/im him with "Good News" Texting is completely out. She ( W) checks his phone and phone records online every day and a few times a day. I guess Im would work. But im having a pity party for myself now. Just wanted to actually say it and HEAR the response. Anyway im so happy with the news from the doctor. Link to post Share on other sites
reneet Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 Texting is completely out. She ( W) checks his phone and phone records online every day and a few times a day. I guess Im would work. But im having a pity party for myself now. Just wanted to actually say it and HEAR the response. Anyway im so happy with the news from the doctor. Try to end the pity party OK. It's the weekend & you should try to celebrate or just relax to the GOOD NEWS!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 Don't let not hearing from him ruin this good news! Don't base how you feel at the start or end of your day on him either! I agree with Reneet, go and have fun - You don't need or have to rely on your MM for your complete and utter happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yousaveme Posted September 22, 2006 Author Share Posted September 22, 2006 Don't let not hearing from him ruin this good news! Don't base how you feel at the start or end of your day on him either! I agree with Reneet, go and have fun - You don't need or have to rely on your MM for your complete and utter happiness. I agree with both of you. Pity party is over. Very short-lived. Friends coming over tonight having a few drinks and laughs... Link to post Share on other sites
reneet Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 I agree with both of you. Pity party is over. Very short-lived. Friends coming over tonight having a few drinks and laughs... AWESOME!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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