lovestruck234 Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 I know similar threads have been done on this topic but it has been pondering in my mind for a little while... Really, how many of you are TRULY confident and happy in your skin? I have read so many threads on here about how you ladies will see a gorgeous girl walking by and you start to have those thoughts "Hmm...why can't I be like her?"... I'll be honest here, I'm nowhere near confident. I don't know if this is just me being silly but if I'm walking down the street and I'm wearing jeans and I see a girl wearing a skirt, then I'll immediately think that skirts look hotter and I start to get all down on myself. The thought fades pretty quickly but whenever I see a girl wearing or looking different in any way that I think looks better, I feel so ugly... I still am confident in many ways and I see myself as a happy young woman, but sometimes I wish I had more confidence. I wish I could be those girls I see walking around that just radiate, that will walk into a room and work it all night...I wish I wasn't as shy as I was... I want to be more outspoken, I guess... So my question is....how many of you are happy with the whole package you would call yourself? How many of you want to be that one step better? Looking forward to hearing back from you, ladies! Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 See, that's where being far from perfect helps. You know you'll never be scouted by Hollywood or the big modelling firms so you relax and learn to love you. You can't possibly please everybody. I'm quite happy that some people find me attractive so it's perfectly cool by me if not everybody does. And I know I don't think less of people because God didn't see fit to gift them with aesthetic perfection and expect that people will offer me the same consideration. Those who don't can kiss my excellent butt Link to post Share on other sites
Roo Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 well I just had my second baby inside of a two year span so I'm not feeling my most physically confident... but getting ready to enter my 30's I've never been more confident and sure of WHO I am and what I want out of life.... so wish I could go relive my twenties with this attitude! Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 I'm sure you do walk with radiation haha you look very goreous! is that a model pic? I've been thinking the same thoughts you are thinking the only thing that I would love the most is too be SO OUTGOING. I am when Im comfortable with you but its harder for me to make friends Im more shy and not myself and THAT IS the worst feeling to me is not being able to be your self and outspoken like some..But we are what we are and maybe if we stopped thinking about it soo much we could be. Do you want to be more outgoing to just have more fun times and feel more comfortable? But believe it are not were all shy and even if some are outgoing they won't always be outgoing to others and could feel the same. Being outgoing and not afraid of little things will just open your life to new possibly things like standing up for yourself, not being so nice where you feel like you always have to say yess...but again we are what we are Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovestruck234 Posted August 29, 2006 Author Share Posted August 29, 2006 I'm sure you do walk with radiation haha you look very goreous! is that a model pic? Do you want to be more outgoing to just have more fun times and feel more comfortable? But believe it are not were all shy and even if some are outgoing they won't always be outgoing to others and could feel the same. Being outgoing and not afraid of little things will just open your life to new possibly things like standing up for yourself, not being so nice where you feel like you always have to say yess...but again we are what we are Yep, that's me and yep, that's a model pic.... Yeah...pretty much. I constantly worry about such little things....most of the time I can sort of get past it and not worry but even the bf says I worry too much. It is very frustrating. Most of the time I'm pretty care-free, but the times when I'm around girls is when I start to pick at things. "why didn't I wear THAT? Now I look stupid!! Why didn't I wear my hair like that? Now I look stupid!" A few of friends when i discuss it with them say I give off a pretty care-free attitude, as in, I'm not too bothered with what people think. Guess I must hide it pretty well then, hey... yeah, I'm the same. I wish I wasn't as shy. I try my very best to make really good first impressions, and I'm always friendly. I never stand with my arms crossed, I always ask how that person is, you know, all that stuff. I wish I could have the confidence to tell the waiter to take back a meal that isn't what I want, one day. I ahve been known to walk away with a hamburger when I ordered hot chips....that's how timid I am. I'm always avoiding argument or conflict... Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 Real confidence? Hah, I wish. Let me put it this way- I was reading Cosmo today (it was in the lunchroom where I work), and I wanted to puke because the general message to all girls was to be not confident, but self-indulgent, and get ahead and be strong (as long as you know how to put your eye shadow on right and your butt is thing worthy). Also, make guys like and want you, no matter what. Even though Cosmo is extreme(ly stupid), this undertone is present in all facets of life. I'd be amazed to meet any girl with a true self confidence that wouldn't immediately dissolve if some hot guy called her butt fat. Thanks, society at large. Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 I am the same exact way!! I am always friendly. Well you only live once so try to stand up for what you believe in and if the food isn't right you payed for it so you desearve to get what you want.. One thing I know this is little but I was eating out with a friend and she gave us the wrong seperate cheaks...I was paying in cash and my friend was paying with a card so they had to change because they weren't right and I didn't want to pay more for mine...so I told her and she gave it back the same way so I told her again, my friend felt bad but it was the first time I've ever tried to not just pass it up because I don't want to be mean..and giving your food back is not being mean! Be nice but always be nice for the right things... I care what people think when I come across as shy, I am young so its hard not too...but I think I'm growing a thick skin because overall people know me for who I'd like to be known as...Don't sweat the small stuff...easier said than done though! Well even though this isn't the best advice you could always just try harder with your looks and try to be really sexy that way the bitch standing next to you is the one who feels she needs to be sexier haha Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovestruck234 Posted August 29, 2006 Author Share Posted August 29, 2006 ... Sometimes I make so much effort in looking good and I feel like it's not noticed...even by my bf... My mum said that the reason all my friends never comment if I look nice is because they are jealous... ...don't know what they have to be jealous of, but anyway.... I think my only problem is like I said, I'm always trying to avoid conflict. Kinda like Mean Girls "I just want to bake cakes with rainbows on them" or whatever she said...I'm like that. If someone is there yelling at me and sayign all these nasty things to me I'm standing there like a stunned mullet. I don't say anything back cos I'm scared. The one and only person I EVER stand up to is my bf. Don't ask how that works, but I'm not afraid of him. I will always say what's on my plate with him. I don't know...I think I'm digging too deep and trying to reach for something that's non-existent... Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 Ooh the Sopranos is on. Gotta watch that. Anyways back to this... "why didn't I wear THAT? Now I look stupid!! Why didn't I wear my hair like that? Now I look stupid!" Yes. That's what runs through my mind, when I go out whether it be just out to the store or to a fancy place. One so many levels, I can improve myself. Yet, I don't do much about it. "Why do I bother? Really?"... "Why do I bother to put make-up?"... "What's wrong with putting my hair in a bun, and wearing shirt and jeans?". Almost everyone I know, doesn't like it. "You look like a granny" that's what they say. Oh well, aint doing it for anyone other than myself. I never stand with my arms crossed, I always ask how that person is, you know, all that stuff. Haha. I usually stand with my arms crossed. I sit down with my legs crossed, my arms crossed, and my brows crossed. Ha! I keep to myself. So far, that aint doing it for me. Should revert to plan B. I'm going to mail myself a dose of self-confidence. Hope, it includes mail-in-rebate cheque. Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 I look like someone who would be the type to always look pretty and yes I do go for that most of the time but from my bestfriends perspective Im gross nasty and don't take showers hahaha I think when you don't look so good or fix yourself up to look so good you happen to run in too people you haven't seen in forever or possibly an ex. When we do fix ourselves up we tend to have better days? righT? Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 I feel alive when I hear my voice packages on the radio or read my articles in the paper. My real confidence lies in who I am inside. The confidence I have in my physical self only goes so far... Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 Voice packages? what do you mean Do you sing??? Link to post Share on other sites
dominsane Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 I do not feel comfortable at all. There are times when I feel sexy, and I guess it shows... But normally, I keep thinking about blemishes on my skin, how my fat just hangs out there and how my hair is always frizzy and has so much volume that I can't even control it anymore. My ex always told me I was beautiful and pretty and adorable... And my family keeps telling me I need to lose some weight... Oh well... Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 You girls make me glad I'm 38 and not 23. As you gain confidence in yourself and who you are, you care far less what others think of you, and you have far less interest in what others are wearing, and you don't compare yourself so much to anyone else. I went to my parents' place on Saturday with no expecation of seeing my SO. I knew I'd be helping my mom do some things around the house, so dressed in an old t-shirt and faded, comfy shorts, no make-up, and left for their place with wet hair. Didn't even have a comb or make-up in my purse...though I'd brought the tape measure and a bunch of picture hooks. As it turned out, I ended up driving to my guy's place that evening and didn't waste a second's thought on what I looked like. Nor did he notice anything but my smile when I saw him. (Ok, maybe my legs in those shorts, too...) Never fear, ladies...confidence in yourself only grows over time. And stop reading Cosmo!!! It's bad for you!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 Voice packages? what do you mean Do you sing??? Ahh, not unless I am trying to piss someone off I am a junior reporter for a radio station here. Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 hmm you have nice feet! pinky Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 Haha, it's the expensive shoes! Link to post Share on other sites
Author lovestruck234 Posted August 29, 2006 Author Share Posted August 29, 2006 or the big modelling firms so you relax and learn to love you. He...he....I am a model.... But see, models are meant to be confident, extroverts, all that stuff. I am an extrovert when it comes to the camera...but that's it. See, look at Pink. I don't think she has ANYTHING to NOT be confident and comfortable about. She has a great job, also has the modelling experience, perfect body, climbs big f*ckin ice mountains, gets any guy she wants, has never had anything to make her feel like sh*t or whatever... Whenever there was a guy I was interested in, and I would let him know that I was interested...he would run 100 metres in the opposite direction... do I smell? Once again, my mum with her silly little conclusions said it was too intimidating for guys when I asked them out, because of my looks....yeah, whatever... I had a "best friend" in high school that for the whole 3 or so years we were friends not once gave me a compliment....not ONCE. Tell me.......look at my avatar....am I REALLY THAT ugly? I am pretty content now that I have a bf, but he too got freaked out when I asked him out, laughed, and asked if I was joking... What's the deal? Link to post Share on other sites
Brittanyjean06 Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 Maybe your friend was jealous of you. I always give compliements to peope...hmmm lets see some other pictures Im a bit curious:) eheh Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 I used to be very insecure about my looks. It comes with age, honey. You get used to your face and body and start loving your appearence. Right now you look the best, better than you will later, but you feel most insecure than you ever will. When you're 30 you'll be super-confident, because you will realize that you're beautiful and you're YOU - the woman you love. I am aware of my faults, but I am perfectly confident in my own skin. The thing is I feel very comfortable with my whole personality and the way I am expressing it and I wear the body and face I deserve... so that makes me feel very confident. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 See, look at Pink. I don't think she has ANYTHING to NOT be confident and comfortable about. She has a great job, also has the modelling experience, perfect body, climbs big f*ckin ice mountains, gets any guy she wants, has never had anything to make her feel like sh*t or whatever... Hahah wow. Thanks so much. That was really nice of you... But if you look at my first few threads on LS, you would see I have actually had a lot of obstacles in my way! However, all of my experiences, good and bad have made me a happier, and more secure person after the fact. P.S I don't have a *perfect* body by any stretch. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 But see, models are meant to be confident, extroverts, all that stuff. I am an extrovert when it comes to the camera...but that's it. The most insecure people I know are models... and most are introverts. I had a "best friend" in high school that for the whole 3 or so years we were friends not once gave me a compliment....not ONCE. Did you compliment her? Link to post Share on other sites
Candied-Heart Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 It's also amazing to note that your own perception is never really what other's think. This is where you can get a great deal of confidence both physically and mentally. Most people compliment me on the things I dislike. It's usually things they don't have. And it's def. vice versa! Link to post Share on other sites
crystalclear Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 I've been thinking about this topic a lot lately... I'm a 27 year old woman, I live in a very large city, in a part of town where there are a lot of girls who all strive to look like they just stepped out of television. It creates a lot of competition, at least in my head! When I was in college I was much more into the indie crowd but for some reason I've become concerned about such superficial things...I actually got eyelash extensions yesterday, a direct result of thinking so much about my appearance. But, it is fun to think about how one looks! I can totally understand that, I love makeup, manis, clothes, etc. But at a certain point, it becomes painful to walk around the city and mentally compare yourself to every girl you see - it's just a drag. Somedays I don't want to go outside because there's just too much pressure! Not to mention I wonder what my husband is thinking every time we pass a hot girl... The thing I've noticed mostly (sorry if this post gets too long) is how silently catty girls seem to be to each other - and I think it's directly related to this issue! Whenever, for example, I enter a restaurant, I notice how I and the other girls all check each other out quickly and then look away without a smile or anything. It feels so catty. But mostly, it feels......insecure. I know we are all comparing ourselves to each other. I know exactly what she's thinking - because I'm thinking the same thing! I know we are all feeling insecure and trying to 'measure ourselves up' to each other. It's stupid! We're all going around acting like bitches to each other! Guys don't do this to each other! This idea of mine has really led me to act differently lately around other girls. I know I'm pretty, I know I'm a great person with lots of interests (this confidence is purely due to growing up through my 20's). There's no need to feel threatened by another woman. I've been trying to break that competitive once-over feeling with a genuine smile to other girls. Because we should be getting along! Like guys do! I certainly don't treat my girl friends this way! I think it has a lot to do with guys, actually - feeling like you have to look really good to keep their interest. I worry that my husband is going to be checking out some girl who looks better than me, so I put a lot of effort into looking good every time I leave the apartment! The competition is exhausting... Link to post Share on other sites
Kittiecat Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 I agree, competition amongst women is stupid. I try not to compare myself to other women but it's become a reflex at this point. It doesn't rule my life, though - I certainly don't obsess. I've come to terms with my physical flaws. I'm not classically "hot" but I don't think I frighten people. I used to have a subscription to Cosmo in college. I think that screwed my head up more than any man ever did. At least Glamour says it's OK to have a little jiggle in your thighs. Link to post Share on other sites
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