Guest Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 I did something really stupid the day before yesterday. My business partner was flirting with me and I went back to his. I shot off my big mouth that I could do a really good massage. So I did. Then we kissed. It was so nice......God it's been such a long time since I've kissed anyone or like that! I kissed and caressed him....then went down.....I did an amazing job and it was all over very quickly. This turned me on. He proceeded to tell me we couldn't do it. He got to feeling guilty. (a bit late now!) See his fiancé is having a baby. I actually know her. This is not good. I do feel some guilt and I feel like a damn ediot. This is dead end - Why did I do this? Well, I guess I can answer this for myself. I'm lonely. I haven't have someone soft and gentle for a long time. I want to be loved. I want someone special to make love to me and for me to make love to them. A complete stranger stopped me in the street over a month ago and said that he could read me...that he could tell I have bad habits and I must control them. Just about 2 weeks ago I was in a similar situation with my ex-boyfriend. He's a "actor" now....(this is a funny joke!) And he was so nice, sweet, caring and sensitive. I fell right into his trap. Only to find out that he didn't really want me, he just wanted to practice his newly learnt NLP out on me. And when he didn't get the response he thought he'd get - he didn't call me back again! What an ar**hole! This is sad. See, I'm a very attractive, intelligent (or should I say "book smart" intelligent as I guess an intelligent woman wouldn't do such a stupid series of things). Can anyone out there help me out with this foolishness? I can't continue this cycle. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 29, 2006 Share Posted August 29, 2006 Well what I heard underneath it all really has to do with self love or in this case self loathing, wanting what you want when you want it, and not really having a defined sense of what you want from life a relationship.. so you're lonely. My post yesterday was that a friend of mine did what you did.. and what I said to her was that if she wants to develop true self worth, where you have a deep sense of worthiness to have the man make you the girlfriend or the wife and not feeling like you have to steal crumbs from someone else, (which is so damaging to us as women.. our psyche's suffer terribly after this.. and I'm sure you feel like you are reeling from the experience but you have to do esteemable things to feel good about yourself. She had a sense of oh well.. screw the other girl.. my pain and my lonliness is more important here.. and the worst thing is that it is only going to make you feel worse. I am so pissed at my friend for putting me in this situation I am in, be careful who you tell or you will be putting your friends in a similar situation. List all the things you want in a partner, for me some of them were.. Honesty, loyalty, being able to respect them.. and then asking myself how many of that list I truly had.. and then started doing the work! Good luck, there's a ton of support out there to help... "Because if you always do what you've always done, then you'll always get what you've always gotten" Link to post Share on other sites
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