Amber Smith Posted October 15, 1999 Share Posted October 15, 1999 I have been going out with my boyfriend for 6 weeks. I am a virgin he is not. In fact, he's had sex with 8 otehr girls. He now thinks that we should have sex and is pressuring me big time. I don't want to break up with him but I also am not ready for sex. Everybodsy says to talk to him but that's not very easy so any other advice? Link to post Share on other sites
daisy Posted October 15, 1999 Share Posted October 15, 1999 I have been going out with my boyfriend for 6 weeks. I am a virgin he is not. In fact, he's had sex with 8 otehr girls. He now thinks that we should have sex and is pressuring me big time. I don't want to break up with him but I also am not ready for sex. Everybodsy says to talk to him but that's not very easy so any other advice? DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM!! You've only been together 6 weeks & he's pressuring you for sex? How old are the two of you? Do you two love each other? (After only 6 weeks, I doubt it). I think that if he's pressuring you that much, he might not care about you as much as a guy should, especially a guy you might lose your virginity to. Think about it, you say you don't want to lose him, but if you have sex with him just to keep him, you two might end up breaking up soon anyway, then how would you feel, knowing that you gave something that special to someone who might not have really even loved you that much? And I would be very concerned about who he's been with, make sure he gets tested, because 8 girls is alot. I hope I don't come across as being too harsh, but that's one thing that really pisses me off...guys that pressure their girlfriends for sex. Anyway, I hope I helped. Daisy Link to post Share on other sites
McWilly Posted October 15, 1999 Share Posted October 15, 1999 I have been going out with my boyfriend for 6 weeks. I am a virgin he is not. In fact, he's had sex with 8 otehr girls. He now thinks that we should have sex and is pressuring me big time. I don't want to break up with him but I also am not ready for sex. Everybodsy says to talk to him but that's not very easy so any other advice? I'm not sure how old you are, not that it really makes a huge difference. I say hold your ground. If you once do something in a relationship that you are not comfortable with, you open the door for other concessions down the road. Sex is a biggie, in my opinion. Be straightforward with this guy and tell him exactly was your position is. You will gain respect in the end. If he dumps you, then you know where he's really coming from. Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Angelica Posted October 15, 1999 Share Posted October 15, 1999 If he really cared about you then he would respect your decision. If he doesn't care about you, then why would you even consider giving it up to him?? I was in sort of the same situation a few weeks ago. I'm a virgin and I was hooking up w/ this guy who had slept w/ 7 other girls. To make a long story short, he told me that if me and him ever seriously "dated" I would have to sleep w/ him b/c every other girlfriend he has had has had sex with him. I told him he wasn't worth it and I didn't want anything to do with him anymore. Sex is a big thing and you should NEVER let anyone pressure you into doing it. Guys don't NEED sex ... so if he tries to pressure you again, ditch him. You should only have to say "no" once. Link to post Share on other sites
Cici Posted October 15, 1999 Share Posted October 15, 1999 I was in the same situation, but my ex got me extremely drunk and then had sex with me while I was passed out. It was an awful experience for me, and I really really hope the same does not happen to you. The thing is, if he's pressuring you to have sex and you keep saying no, then he's not being considerate of your wishes. Of course, this all depends on how old you two are. I'm in college...if you're in high school he's definately not worth even wasting your time on. Really. Too often girls stay in bad relationships because they feel incomlete without one. You are fine and strong enough to be on your own. If he truly cares about you, and you're meant to be together, then you will get back together. C I have been going out with my boyfriend for 6 weeks. I am a virgin he is not. In fact, he's had sex with 8 otehr girls. He now thinks that we should have sex and is pressuring me big time. I don't want to break up with him but I also am not ready for sex. Everybodsy says to talk to him but that's not very easy so any other advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Cici Posted October 15, 1999 Share Posted October 15, 1999 And I would be very concerned about who he's been with, make sure he gets tested, because 8 girls is alot. I noticed that you said here that 8 girls is a lot...do you think the same is true for a woman who sleeps with 8 men? Link to post Share on other sites
Mike Posted October 16, 1999 Share Posted October 16, 1999 Breaj up with him. You can do better. Sex should be between two people that are both ready for it. If you get rid of him you won't regret it. If you sleep with him before your ready, you will. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 6 weeks. I am a virgin he is not. In fact, he's had sex with 8 otehr girls. He now thinks that we should have sex and is pressuring me big time. I don't want to break up with him but I also am not ready for sex. Everybodsy says to talk to him but that's not very easy so any other advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Deb Posted October 16, 1999 Share Posted October 16, 1999 Breaj up with him. You can do better. Sex should be between two people that are both ready for it. If you get rid of him you won't regret it. If you sleep with him before your ready, you will. Don't sell your self short. If you are not ready for sex don't go there. I can't tell you how many times when I was younger that I was in the same situation as you. Sex is a big thing in your life and it should be with the right person. You will know when the right person comes along. I waited and I have been with the same man for 25 years. You need to get to know each other and respect each other. Any guy who keeps presuring you is not worth your time. You don't need sex to keep a guy. Also don't feel that just because all your friends are having sex you have to as well.Set high standards for yourself and the right guy will come your way Link to post Share on other sites
alaila Posted October 18, 1999 Share Posted October 18, 1999 if you aren't comfy talking to him about sex then you are REALLY not comfy enough to do it with him....you have to tell him and if he loves you then he'll respect your decision and wait till you are ready I have been going out with my boyfriend for 6 weeks. I am a virgin he is not. In fact, he's had sex with 8 otehr girls. He now thinks that we should have sex and is pressuring me big time. I don't want to break up with him but I also am not ready for sex. Everybodsy says to talk to him but that's not very easy so any other advice? Link to post Share on other sites
carol Posted October 19, 1999 Share Posted October 19, 1999 It is simple. If you are not ready to talk to him about sex, you are not ready to have sex. You said this yourself. Decide how far you want to go and tell him point blank. For example, "I am comfortable with you kissing me and touching my breast but that is as far as I am ready to go at this point, If you care about me you will be willing to wait until I am ready to take it any further, If you don't care about me than it should be easy for you to find someone else to use, so move on". If you can't say it out loud write him a note. It is ok to want to move slowly. The right guy will understand. I have been going out with my boyfriend for 6 weeks. I am a virgin he is not. In fact, he's had sex with 8 otehr girls. He now thinks that we should have sex and is pressuring me big time. I don't want to break up with him but I also am not ready for sex. Everybodsy says to talk to him but that's not very easy so any other advice? Link to post Share on other sites
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