is she interested? wat do i do?

[mickj]

sorry; its long, but ill give u as much detail as possible;

 

I am a year 10 student and have always been scared ****less of talking to girls I like. I am interested in this girl and I dont know if she is interested in me, or what. I'm in her class for nearly everything and since last year we keep making eye contact in class (pretty much staring) every lesson. We havent really said much to each other, but recently (last couple of weeks) we talk to each other as much as possible without really saying any thing, asking stuff about school work and stuff that really dosent matter. last week i was sitting on my own and she came over on her own and sat down across from me and said hi, i said hi. that was it. silence. really awkward silence. we just sat there for a while, and said NOTHING!! eventually one of my friends came over and said something to me, and she walked away. any ideas what i should do?

[directx]

Look, it sounds like your golden but you have to move on it. Here is what I would do. Do you both have a mutual school subject. Pretend you need help with it and ask her to help you with it. Get her phone number and call about this subject if you have to. Talk about the subject for a little bit then just evolve it to a real conversation.

She has more guts than you because she came and sat with you with nothing to say. She is pretty brave.

You should go sit with her next time because now she feels embarrassed.

Find something you both have in common, be it a tv show or video game or whatever.

[mickj]

ok sounds like a good idea, but she's ALWAYS wid her friends. awkwared enough when its just us two let alone having an audience...

[FishTale]

She has more guts than you because she came and sat with you with nothing to say. She is pretty brave.

You should go sit with her next time because now she feels embarrassed.

I agree...

 

This is just me talking, but if I worked up the nerve to approach a guy I liked, and he gave me the silent treatment, I wouldn't want to go over there again.

 

I'm not saying you were silent on purpose, because you obviously weren't from what you wrote here. I know how it feels to be on this end as well. It can be extremely awkward to talk to someone new that you like, especially if they suddenly walk up to you!

 

...but she doesn't know what you were thinking! She could have interpreted it that you didn't like her coming over. In other words, it's your move. She does like you in some way, by the way. If she didn't like you she would have stayed away in the first place.

 

If you ever hit an awkward silence in conversation, poke fun at it. "All we need now is a tumbleweed and a few crickets.", "Great silence we're having today, huh?", "I love awkward silences, don't you?" Something like that... Kind of corny, but it breaks the silence and relaxes the atmosphere a little.

 

Making observations about your surroundings is also a way to start a conversation. It sounds natural that way.

 

I can be a terrible conversationalist, but I learned over time you can use humour and smile to overcome almost any awkward moment (unless the people are the negative type... but in that case who wants to hang around them anyway). Don't just sit there grinning like a fool though, say something.

 

Also… if she’s always with a group of her friends…

Try to catch her eye when she’s in the group, and if she looks at you, smile at her, wave, do something!

[mickj]

i know, i feel pretty cut that she came over to talk and i didnt talk

 

when she came over she said she was "coming over to talk to me and all my friends" (i was sitting on my own) but this was kinda strange cause she left her friend sitting on her own. is that weird?

i am really bad with this sought of stuff and any suggestions would help.

I (along with every other gut out there) just dont like rejection and im not sure of what will happen if i say anything.

 

p.s. i feel kinda lame right about now...

[FishTale]

Don't feel lame, this is how we learn.

 

She left her friend because she wanted to talk with you. She may have not said anything herself, because she could be just as nervous as you are.

 

 

Any number of outcomes could happen if you say something ('something' I assume is asking for a date). It's not good to just focus on the possible negative outcome (rejection), because then you never get to try anything.

 

...but basically your three standard reactions could be...

1) She will say she just wants to be friends or something along those lines (the dreaded rejection)

2) She will need to check her schedule (could be rejection, or she could actually be busy)

3) She will be delighted and you will go off frolicing in the fields--I mean, on on a date

 

She sounds interested to me, though.

Better to find out fore sure than pine away all year and watch as some other guy takes her out instead.

Even if you get rejected, it's good practice for the next one that comes along. It will help harden your shell to this kind of thing.

[directx]

Dude, you are so IN! If i could bet money whether or not she would reject you, I would be all I have that she wouldn't!

 

Yeah, the group friend thing sucks. Women have no idea how initmidating this is. If she is in a group, catch her eye and wave her over then talk to her. I'd apologize for the silence and ask her to come over again for lunch tell her you thought of something to say.

 

If that opportunity doesn't present itself and you run into one of her friends alone, tell her you feel stupid about how you remained silent and you hope she doesnt feel embarrassed. Ask her friend to tell her you would like to talk to her.

 

And when you do finally talk to her, do get her phone number and ask a good time to call so you don't annoy her parents.

[directx]

MickJ!

Whats the update? You dating? Whats going on?

[JCD]

Yeah, we demand an update! Anyways, you don't have to go to her and ask her directly for a date. Instead, go up to her and ask her if she would like to get a hamburger with you or get a coffee, etc. That way you're not on a "date" but you are if you know what I mean. It's not official like, ok now we're girlfriend and boyfriend and we must do this then this. You kind of ease you way into it. Next time ask her to go to movies with you and just hang out. Then spend some time alone with her and maybe she'll kiss you.

 

You shouldn't be afraid of rejections. Some girls just don't see other guys as boyfriend material. Accept that and move on. This girl however likes you very much. She's basically chasing you. Do not brush her off because she might get angry and don't flirt with other girls or she might get jealous.

 

This one girl of mine has this serious expression on her face and I found that always so intimidating so I stayed away. Then one day I mustered my strength and actually went to her and said hi and started talking with her. Turns out that she is fun to talk to once the ice is broken. She's this quiet type but can do a 180 and smack you down with her wit if you try something funny on her. She's completely different person once you get to know her but in public she has this tough girl front that is bit offputting. But once you realize that you can crack her front everytime then talking to her is not something to be scared of. Your girl actually smiles at you and comes to you which is a bonus, imo.

 

About having guts to talk to girls. Well, you just do it, you don't overthink or over analyze it. Walk up to her and ask her something about her. It doesn't matter what you say or how you say it as long as both of you are having a good time then that's all that matters. You can be silly and she won't mind. What you're doing is developing a bond, a closeness so that both of you are comfortable being around each other. Many times you don't have to say anything. All you have to do when you see her is poke her in the shoulder to get her reaction. You don't have to talk to her to death. Then the flirting starts and that's always fun because lot of poking/slapping is going around.

 

I'll give you and example. So I see her in work behind a computer. I see that she is slow at typing so I offer to type for her while she dictates to me. So she starts saying these things and instead I type all kinds of obscenities and she catches on and slaps me on a shoulder and we laugh about that. Lot of our communication was non-verbal. So it helps to create situations to put you two into position where you can have laughs and be yourselves.