why do taken men look at porn??

[cutegirl]

I'm too tired to go back and read it but that's not what I came away with at all.

 

If that's what he said well I don't agree with that. Like I've said I think there's a distinction to be made between fantasy and ACTUAL desire. Two different animals in my book.

 

I think their very close, fantasizing and desire. You fantasize about things you desire and want to accomplish. If you constantly fantasize about a certain woman performing a specific act on you, and one day some woman who fits your perfect ideal starts being very suggestive, most men would not have the willpower to say no.

 

I do honestly feel that most men WILLINGLY want to screw other women besides their wives and girlfriends.

 

I have read some Escort forums and you would be amazed at the amount of MARRIED MEN on their who claim they love their wives, actively seeking out prostitutes. These are review websites where they actually review the prostitute's looks and performance, same as you can review products at Epinions.

 

They have many reasons why they cheat; they don't get enough at home, their wives got fat, it's a hobby, they need sexual variety, they LOVE their wives and would NEVER leave their wives but need to bang other women....

 

It's a community of thousands and thousands of men even giving each other tips how to get away with it...

 

I visit those sites often out of curiosity to dig a little bit into how the male mind works and what a lot of men are up to. I'm not saying ALL men do this, but I bet a very large percentage do. I would never want to be stupid and live in a lie and pretend the world is all peachy and happy endings exist. The truth is most men cheat and I want to be prepared for that.

 

Trust me, most men would LOVE to get the chance to bang other women. I don't think porn is that much of a threat, other real life women are more of a threat.

[Touche]

You two are a picture of one extreme to another. Life is not this black and white.

 

And I disagree with you both.

 

Cutegirl I really hope you change your sad views. In my experience on this earth (and I've been here for awhile now;) ) it has NOT been my experience that most men cheat are would sleep with another woman behind my back. That's just not my experience at all.

 

Perhaps you should examine why you're only meeting that type of man.

[rainfall]

I read it and it opened my eyes to how most men are. For example, it says that the office is a man's playground. He is free to be himself, ogle his secretaries, "mentor" young women in the workface... And that most women would be disgusted if they could see their man at work.

 

And it also explains why men love prostitutes; because hookers are the perfect one night stand. Men usually feel like their doing their wives a favour when their banging a whore because they didn't have an emotional relationship plus they feel they helped the whore out by giving her money.

 

I don't have research to back it up, but my personal opnion is most men are cheaters and DO think with their penises and have EXTREMELY low self-control. If they were getting a lap dance and the stripper would start giving him a blowjob, really, most men would not have the willpower to say no.

 

EVERY man has the ability to cheat, and most likely would do it if they could get away with it. Almost ALL guys fantasize about other women when they are doing their wives/gf's, porn is irrelevant to this, if it's not the girl in the porn then maybe it would be your sister or cousin.

 

YES, Men can STILL love their wives (in their minds) and at the same time justify bangin whores on the side. I do think you are living in a fantasy world Rainfall. The world is not beautiful. There is no fairytale. There is no happy ending. There is no such things.

 

ALL MEN fantasize about sleeping with other women. If you don't like it than just be alone. Sometimes I also feel I would rather die alone and be alone forever than be with a man. This is the reality of men, and you can make the choice to deal with reality, and if you don't want to deal with it than you can decide to be alone.

 

I don't think women need men to be complete. I make plenty of money and can enjoy my life GREAT without a man. I can travel the world, buy whatever I like, who needs men?

 

I am telling you the truth from the bottom of my heart, I think men are biologically wired to spread their seed and even if they LOVE their wives/girlfriends they will have VERY strong urges to bang other women, and there will most likely come a point where the fantasy won't be enough, when they will want the real thing.

 

I work with my boyfriend so there is no way he is going to try to pick up women there. Yes alot of men are horrible shallow jerks who are just like you say. If I really really believed that all men were like you said though I would probably want to go die. You are basically saying men are unable to love and are only after sex.

 

Some men are like this yes and if your is and you are ok with this then I feel very bad for you. I personally think this world is a horrible place.

However if I didn't have at least a few people who I love and who I knpw loved me I would be extremelly depressed.

 

If a man justifys sleeping with someone esle he DOES NOT love his women. Think what you want but if you love someone you would not want to do something to cause that other person pain.

[Touche]

I think their very close, fantasizing and desire. You fantasize about things you desire and want to accomplish. If you constantly fantasize about a certain woman performing a specific act on you, and one day some woman who fits your perfect ideal starts being very suggestive, most men would not have the willpower to say no.

 

I do honestly feel that most men WILLINGLY want to screw other women besides their wives and girlfriends.

 

I have read some Escort forums and you would be amazed at the amount of MARRIED MEN on their who claim they love their wives, actively seeking out prostitutes. These are review websites where they actually review the prostitute's looks and performance, same as you can review products at Epinions.

 

They have many reasons why they cheat; they don't get enough at home, their wives got fat, it's a hobby, they need sexual variety, they LOVE their wives and would NEVER leave their wives but need to bang other women....

 

It's a community of thousands and thousands of men even giving each other tips how to get away with it...

 

I visit those sites often out of curiosity to dig a little bit into how the male mind works and what a lot of men are up to. I'm not saying ALL men do this, but I bet a very large percentage do. I would never want to be stupid and live in a lie and pretend the world is all peachy and happy endings exist. The truth is most men cheat and I want to be prepared for that.

 

Trust me, most men would LOVE to get the chance to bang other women. I don't think porn is that much of a threat, other real life women are more of a threat.

 

And trust ME when I say that there are thousands and thousands who realize the difference between fantasy and REAL desire and actually have no DESIRE to make their fantasies come true.

 

And trust me that if you're hanging around those kinds of forums your views will be skewed.

 

Dont' you realize that there are many, many men who do NOT engage in that kind of behavior?

 

Real life women, as you put it, are NO threat to a good man with solid values.

 

Trust me on that one.

[amerikajin]

I'm convinced that over 90 percent of men would cheat if they know they could get away with it. You should read this book http://www.amazon.com/What-Dont-Want-Women-Know/dp/0312186797

 

I don't know if I would say it's as necessarily high as 90 percent. I'd say it's anywhere from 50 to 90 percent, depending on where you are in the world.

 

I think something like 50 percent of men in the U.S. have at least once cheated on their girlfriends, fiances, or wives. It's fair to say that the number who've seriously considered it is even higher, and the number of those who have fantasized about it harmlessly is higher still.

 

Here in Japan, prostitution is basically legal. Men regularly go in groups to places all sorts of sex clubs and I'd say a good 75 percent of the men here have had extramarital sex at one point or another - and I'd say that's a conservative figure.

 

You're absolutely right about the mentality of a man who visits a sex club (and no, I don't speak from experience on this one). Guys feel like they're doing their wives a favor by releasing their inhibitions in a way that would not otherwise threaten their relationship. Of course, it is definitely dangerous from a health standpoint and I can't imagine myself ever doing something like that, but the ones who do see it as a way to have sex and not get attached to anyone. What's the old saying "You pay a prostitute not to have sex, you pay her to leave the next morning."

[amerikajin]

I work with my boyfriend so there is no way he is going to try to pick up women there. Yes alot of men are horrible shallow jerks who are just like you say. If I really really believed that all men were like you said though I would probably want to go die. You are basically saying men are unable to love and are only after sex.

 

Some men are like this yes and if your is and you are ok with this then I feel very bad for you. I personally think this world is a horrible place.

However if I didn't have at least a few people who I love and who I knpw loved me I would be extremelly depressed.

 

If a man justifys sleeping with someone esle he DOES NOT love his women. Think what you want but if you love someone you would not want to do something to cause that other person pain.

 

"The world is a horrible place" Sheesh! Where to begin responding to that one...

 

If it makes you feel better to believe what you believe, if it somehow makes you and your relationship stronger, by all means, keep on believing. In the end, it really doesn't matter what I say, does it? What matters is, what is. What matters is what happens in your relationship. That and nothing more.

 

Good luck.

[rainfall]

"The world is a horrible place" Sheesh! Where to begin responding to that one...

 

If it makes you feel better to believe what you believe, if it somehow makes you and your relationship stronger, by all means, keep on believing. In the end, it really doesn't matter what I say, does it? What matters is, what is. What matters is what happens in your relationship. That and nothing more.

 

Good luck.

 

Hey I would have to end my relationship if I believed it was the way you say most are.

[Touche]

Hey I would have to end my relationship if I believed it was the way you say most are.

 

Why would you end it? End it over what exactly?

[amerikajin]

Why would you end it? End it over what exactly?

 

Over her insecurities.

[rainfall]

Why would you end it? End it over what exactly?

 

End it over the fact that he wants to sleep with other people. I'm not gonna be with someone who wants to sleep with other people. I really don't see much of a difference in fantasy and what you wish you had for reality.

I have never cheated on my girlfriends - ever. Have I, somewhere within the deep recesses of my mind, ever wanted to go for a nice, private shag with some girl who wasn't my girlfriend, yes. But again, I've never strayed. I know a lot of my male friends are the same way: we'll talk over a few beers about how we'd love to shag some model or we sometimes gawk over a nice looking waitress - I guarantee you even if we don't say it, we're thinking "schwing!!!" (example of part I think is wrong)

 

In my mind wanting to sleep with the hot waitress is just as bad as doing it. If you disagree with me thats fine I just refuse to be someone's consolation prize.

[rainfall]

Over her insecurities.

 

I am not insecure. I think am am hot and think I deserve someone who feels the same. If I was insecure I would accept behavior like that as normal. I would think I didn't deserve love and stay with a guy like that because I would be afraid I couldn't get better.

[amerikajin]

End it over the fact that he wants to sleep with other people. I'm not gonna be with someone who wants to sleep with other people. I really don't see much of a difference in fantasy and what you wish you had for reality.

I have never cheated on my girlfriends - ever. Have I, somewhere within the deep recesses of my mind, ever wanted to go for a nice, private shag with some girl who wasn't my girlfriend, yes. But again, I've never strayed. I know a lot of my male friends are the same way: we'll talk over a few beers about how we'd love to shag some model or we sometimes gawk over a nice looking waitress - I guarantee you even if we don't say it, we're thinking "schwing!!!" (example of part I think is wrong)

 

In my mind wanting to sleep with the hot waitress is just as bad as doing it. If you disagree with me thats fine I just refuse to be someone's consolation prize.

 

That's exactly what I thought you might say.

 

You see, it's your insecurities which are eating you alive. I'll admonish you and say that insecurities find ways to creep into relationships in one way or another, and if you don't confront them and deal with them effectively....they are relationship killers.

 

Obviously, I would never say you have to tolerate cheating. Nor would I say you have to tolerate someone who is being blatantly open about their fantasies that involve others to the point of making you feel bad about yourself. I may look at a hot waitress when I'm with my girlfriend, but I know better than to flirt with her.

[amerikajin]

I am not insecure. I think am am hot and think I deserve someone who feels the same. If I was insecure I would accept behavior like that as normal. I would think I didn't deserve love and stay with a guy like that because I would be afraid I couldn't get better.

 

Some of the most insecure people I've ever met were stunningly beautiful. I have no doubt that you are hot, and I have no doubt that you are also insecure.

[rainfall]

That's exactly what I thought you might say.

 

You see, it's your insecurities which are eating you alive. I'll admonish you and say that insecurities find ways to creep into relationships in one way or another, and if you don't confront them and deal with them effectively....they are relationship killers.

 

Obviously, I would never say you have to tolerate cheating. Nor would I say you have to tolerate someone who is being blatantly open about their fantasies that involve others to the point of making you feel bad about yourself. I may look at a hot waitress when I'm with my girlfriend, but I know better than to flirt with her.

 

Its not the looking at a hot chick so much that bothers me. I know alot of people notice attractive people. Its the fantasies that involve other people that I find wrong. Agree with me or don't but I don't see how it is ok for him to thin kabout having hot sex with someone besides me.

 

If he is just gonna look at other women and think how much he would like to sleep with them why should I even bother trying to look good for him. I work my butt of at the gym to look good for him. Alot of women let their looks go when they get into a relationship and if porn is needed in that case I can see why. However when I work my butt off to look good he should find me attractive enough not to have to look at other women.

[amerikajin]

Its not the looking at a hot chick so much that bothers me. I know alot of people notice attractive people. Its the fantasies that involve other people that I find wrong. Agree with me or don't but I don't see how it is ok for him to thin kabout having hot sex with someone besides me.

 

If he is just gonna look at other women and think how much he would like to sleep with them why should I even bother trying to look good for him. I work my butt of at the gym to look good for him. Alot of women let their looks go when they get into a relationship and if porn is needed in that case I can see why. However when I work my butt off to look good he should find me attractive enough not to have to look at other women.

 

Your man obviously finds you attractive, so please, keep working out in the gym. Besides, I always need another hot chick to look at myself, so who knows...maybe I'll see you out in the park or in the mall. I'm not really a creep, so don't be scared at the thought of that.

 

I think a little fantasy here and there is entirely normal. What would worry me if I were a woman and what would concern me as a man is if my s.o. were to start fantasizing about the same person regularly - that ain't good. But wondering what a chick looks like without her clothes on and perhaps wondering about the unknown even own up to sex is not at all wrong assuming everything is kept in perspective.

 

I think your last sentence gives you away. You are insecure and comparing yourself to other women, trying to tell yourself that you're prettier than they are. Lots of hot mama citas have this problem. Hot or not, you need to chill. It'll knock off a lot of your inherent sex appeal.

[rainfall]

Your man obviously finds you attractive, so please, keep working out in the gym. Besides, I always need another hot chick to look at myself, so who knows...maybe I'll see you out in the park or in the mall. I'm not really a creep, so don't be scared at the thought of that.

 

I think a little fantasy here and there is entirely normal. What would worry me if I were a woman and what would concern me as a man is if my s.o. were to start fantasizing about the same person regularly - that ain't good. But wondering what a chick looks like without her clothes on and perhaps wondering about the unknown even own up to sex is not at all wrong assuming everything is kept in perspective.

 

I guess the fact the I never fantasize about anyone makes it impossible for me to understand how it can be as "innocent" as some people claim it is.

[cutegirl]

You two are a picture of one extreme to another. Life is not this black and white.

 

And I disagree with you both.

 

Cutegirl I really hope you change your sad views. In my experience on this earth (and I've been here for awhile now;) ) it has NOT been my experience that most men cheat are would sleep with another woman behind my back. That's just not my experience at all.

 

Perhaps you should examine why you're only meeting that type of man.

 

My observations aren't based on personal experience but more on what I observe around me, from what I see and or hear of happening to other women, and also a lot form what I observe from men's behavior, like from reading those escorts boards for example.

 

And on what people have told me once of their male friends doing. For example I have a friend and I heard that her sister in law's bf went to massage parlors after she gave birth because she couldn't have sex for awhile after she gave birth, and apparently he couldn't held it in. Or from some other girl I know where her boyfriend went to massage parlors while they were dating.

 

It's not that I'm meeting the wrong guys, I've never had it happen to me YET, THAT I ACTUALLY KNOW OF. It's just from what I see around me and from observing people's behaviors. For example some guy told me once that most of his married buddies go to massage parlors on the side... etc

 

It doesn't matter how hot you are. Even Halle Berry got cheated on, her husband was a sex addict. And don't forget Hugh Grant cheated on Elizabeth Hurley with some ugly streetwalker. It has nothing to do with looks, for some men it's just the thrill of it, it's like a game they like to play. It also strokes their ego and makes them feel like a real man. Or perhaps it's the variety.

 

I really do feel that all men think about cheating, the "good ones" that you are talking about, are the ones who can actually suppress it, which takes an enormous amount of willpower and self-control, but I'm sure all men think about banging another woman, it's in their human nature too.

[cutegirl]

Its not the looking at a hot chick so much that bothers me. I know alot of people notice attractive people. Its the fantasies that involve other people that I find wrong. Agree with me or don't but I don't see how it is ok for him to thin kabout having hot sex with someone besides me.

 

If he is just gonna look at other women and think how much he would like to sleep with them why should I even bother trying to look good for him. I work my butt of at the gym to look good for him. Alot of women let their looks go when they get into a relationship and if porn is needed in that case I can see why. However when I work my butt off to look good he should find me attractive enough not to have to look at other women.

 

You can't control someone's fantasies, and no one in their right mind will admit to fantasizing about doing other people! The golden rule for most men and also women is to deny deny deny! To most people it's just a little white lie to say "No I don't fantasize about other people", especially if they know their partner is gonna have a cow and freak out! I'm pretty sure your bf knows you enough by now to know that you're gonna have a cow over it, so he thinks that it's probably something that is none of your business.

 

The only way to know for sure is if they invent a machine that is capable of reading someone's mind and all their thoughts. Otherwise there is no way to really know. I think it's insane though to believe that your boyfriend never fantasizes about other women. I just think it's very unlikely. You could be Angelina Jolie and I'm sure Brad Pitt fantasizes about banging some other hot piece of ass once in awhile, or perhaps often...

[amerikajin]

I'm not talking 'bout moving in,

And I don't want to change your life.

But there's a warm wind blowing,

The stars are out, and I'd really love to see you tonight.

[rainfall]

It doesn't matter how hot you are. Even Halle Berry got cheated on, her husband was a sex addict. And don't forget Hugh Grant cheated on Elizabeth Hurley with some ugly streetwalker. It has nothing to do with looks, for some men it's just the thrill of it, it's like a game they like to play. It also strokes their ego and makes them feel like a real man. Or perhaps it's the variety.

 

I really do feel that all men think about cheating, the "good ones" that you are talking about, are the ones who can actually suppress it, which takes an enormous amount of willpower and self-control, but I'm sure all men think about banging another woman, it's in their human nature too.

 

For the guys like Hugh Grant who cheat on beautiful women, they are just dogs. They will probably never love anyone. Yes, I agree it is just the thrill of it for guys like that.

 

However I think there are alot more faithful guys out there then you seem to think. You just don't hear about it. Noone is gonna tell you hey last night my guy friend spent time with his gf watching movies, playing video games, eating, or whatever it is they enjoy. Not all guys cheat. Some guys are 100% happy with who they are with and don't want anyone esle.

[Carbine]

Well, if "we" know that, then why do the insecurities arise and why is it a blow to her self-esteem?

 

It's not a blow to my self-esteem - all women do not feel that way or think the same about this isse.

 

Oh come on, I was mocking aeren to a large degree. Maybe this forum isn't the best place to express my cynicism but really, this whole thread smacks of hypocrisy, and its hard not to get frustrated sometimes.

 

In all honesty, I can say that i don't presume to know whats going on in someone else's head, be they male or female, just as i know that nobody else knows whats in my head. When I say 'we' i mean women who identify somewhat with my take on things. I wasn't referring to women in general. I thought that was perfectly obvious. However, since everyone seems to be misinterpreting this, I shall only talk about what I think and what I feel, as if I'm the only female who has issues with the porn thing. This is solely because I'm getting sick and tired of repeating myself on here.

 

In regards to your question - firstly, i got this off wikipedia.com: "A person who is insecure lacks confidence in their own value and capability. This is not to be confused with being humble which involves recognising one's failings but still maintaining a healthy dose of self-confidence. Insecurity is not an objective evaluation of one's ability but an emotional interpretation, as two people with the same capabilities may have entirely different levels of insecurity". Now, since im only going to discuss my situation, I talk about my insecurities only. I hate my figure - i know my face is nice, but I'm nowhere near thin enough. Nor am I blonde or tall. I certainly don't 'value' or respect myself as much as i did when i was 45kgs and fit as a racehorse, and judging by the reactions of men, neither do they. This holds me back in life, partially b/c i let it and partially because it just happens whether i like it or not.

 

Anyway, I'm an extremely proud person, a massive perfectionist, and very competitive. I want to be the best or nothing at all. This goes for physical/sexual attractiveness. Love, I don't give a toss about it really, but the importance of my looks is really what i care about. I can't handle being in the presence of a female who's thinner and prettier than me, whether its in the flesh or onscreen or whatever. So when my (now) ex wanted to watch porn while i was around, I'd naturally get jealous b/c i knew i simply wasnt as good looking as a porn actress. This would lead me to question my ex about how he could have sex with me, when it was obvious that he was turned on by a certain type or look when it came to women. He'd be honest about the thin, blonde, tall look being his dream woman in a purely physical sense, but would try and tell me that firstly, he thinks i'm "f**king gorgeous" and that in a relationship there are other factors ie personality, and having someone who wasn't "too good looking" for him etc. This would s*** me off even more because i was trying to keep the discussion focused on the physical attractiveness side only. This in turn would frustrate things even further because i felt that he was being hypocritical - on one hand he loves having porn on during sex and obviously the sex is a million times better when he can ogle beautiful women, but on the other hand he's saying that he gets off having sex with me, even though i look nothing like a porn actress. Hence, I'd become resentful and argumentative when it came to sex and the only way i could deal with not being better looking than the porn actresses was to insist that he doesn't watch porn in my presence, and at all. He'd suck it down for awhile, but would end up getting in MASSIVE fights with me over the restrictions, and would tell me just to get over it. And the whole thing would go round in circles.

 

I tried telling myself that he won't cheat, that he loves me etc, but these thoughts would do nothing to dampen the rage and helplessness I felt. Because, really, these feelings aren't just about him, they're about me, my own deep insecurities, self-hatred, and feelings of failure. I know that i may have (or had rather) a faithful man who would love and commit to me for life, and I guess this would make most people happy. But I just cant deny the awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that results because i'm convinced that he thinks "She's the best I'm going to get, I'm not good looking enough to get the woman of my dreams, I'll have to be content with her" rather than "I'm so f**king thrilled to have her, she's so damn hot and gorgeous. I'm the luckiest man alive!" I know that I used to be damn hot and gorgeous. I could've had any guy i wanted, could've been a model, could've been a porn actress, could've been anything i wanted, had a wonderful life, and lived happily ever after. But I wasn't strong willed enough to look after myself and ended up abusing my body and now i'll pay the price forever. I'm always going to be treated as second-rate because of my looks, always going to have guys think "how dissapointing - if only she lost a few kilos she'd be stunning", and i'll hate myself for the rest of my f**king life for letting this happen. But what choice do i have? I just have to accept it, don't I?

 

And THAT'S the why it's a blow to blow to 'her' self-esteem. Well, my self-esteem. Whatever.

 

This is seriously the last time I'm going to try and explain myself. If I haven't articulated myself well enough by this stage, then I must be stupid as well as fat and ugly. *Sigh* the fun continues...

[amerikajin]

I tried telling myself that he won't cheat, that he loves me etc, but these thoughts would do nothing to dampen the rage and helplessness I felt. Because, really, these feelings aren't just about him, they're about me, my own deep insecurities, self-hatred, and feelings of failure. I know that i may have (or had rather) a faithful man who would love and commit to me for life, and I guess this would make most people happy. But I just cant deny the awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that results because i'm convinced that he thinks "She's the best I'm going to get, I'm not good looking enough to get the woman of my dreams, I'll have to be content with her" rather than "I'm so f**king thrilled to have her, she's so damn hot and gorgeous. I'm the luckiest man alive!" I know that I used to be damn hot and gorgeous. I could've had any guy i wanted, could've been a model, could've been a porn actress, could've been anything i wanted, had a wonderful life, and lived happily ever after. But I wasn't strong willed enough to look after myself and ended up abusing my body and now i'll pay the price forever. I'm always going to be treated as second-rate because of my looks, always going to have guys think "how dissapointing - if only she lost a few kilos she'd be stunning", and i'll hate myself for the rest of my f**king life for letting this happen. But what choice do i have? I just have to accept it, don't I?

 

And THAT'S the why it's a blow to blow to 'her' self-esteem. Well, my self-esteem. Whatever.

 

This is seriously the last time I'm going to try and explain myself. If I haven't articulated myself well enough by this stage, then I must be stupid as well as fat and ugly. *Sigh* the fun continues...

 

You have to accept that there are always going to be people in this world more attractive than you. There are many guys more attractive than me, but there is only one person who is right for me, and it works in reverse. If you can accept that love is more than just physical attraction and that guys aren't always sex-obsessed simpletons, and if you can maintain your basic level of attractiveness physically while getting into a guy's head, you'll be able to do things to your man that no other woman could possibly do. I'm talking about the essence of being a good lover. A new woman outside your relationship has the advantage of being fresh, of having a clean slate; as someone in a relationship, you have the advantage of knowing your man, knowing what turns him on, what turns him on, history, and being his base of support. And if you do the job right, a real man worth keeping would usually not risk losing that. Some men are ballsy and stupid, but would you want that in a guy?

[Jersey Shortie]

Don't be naive about it, cuz life's not a ****in' fairytale with flowers and storybook endings.

 

You are right about that. It's about women who want one guy to love them and care for them and that guy thinking about all the other women he doesn't have. Why are women working hard to make a guy in a relationship happy if that is the outcome? It is a crappy time to be a woman. Guys don't offer too much worth respecting in a relationship anymore.

 

 

It is also natural, yet we've created an environment in which that natural urged has been suppressed due to the concept of monogamy.

 

 

Then don't get in a relationship. It's quite simple to understand really. If men are so against being commited to one female, don't do it. But don't get into ar elationship and make your woman take the brunt of the pain and frustration because you can't respect and love her like she deserves because your need to think about other women out weighs anything she could mean to you. This is why I don't even understand why men have relationships. Men Love love love driving it home how unimportant their woman is to them because they need different women to be happy. Must make men feel good to treat women like open holes that don't deserve to be cared about.

 

 

As long as you're keeping your man happy by being the same woman he's always known and loved, and by not being an insecure nagging pest and by keeping yourself attractive, you've got nothing to worry about. It's when this dynamic changes that this self-restraint suddenly stops and those urges - urges which have been there from day one - come to the surface.

 

What is the point? Seriously. From what you have said it doesn't matter what a woman does, how attractive she keeps herself, how loving she is to her man, how many sexual fantasies she tries out with him. At the end of the day, he can't care or love or respect her. All he is thinking about is the women he doesn't have. Men don't make it worth while to want to do these things. Maybe this is why so many women let themselves go and stop having sex with their man. Maybe they say "No matter what I do for him it is never good enough." So they get tired of trying and just stop.

 

 

You have to accept that there are always going to be people in this world more attractive than you. There are many guys more attractive than me, but there is only one person who is right for me, and it works in reverse.

 

Yes but you leave out one key thing. Women have more of a driving *need* to feel beautiful to their mate. Men don't have this same need. Men aren't judged so harshly for the way they look. You tell women not to expect a basic need of theirs because other women are more beautiful, and you take away something very important to women that makes her feel like a woman. I don't think it is asking too much to have the *one* guy that claims he loves you think you are the most beautiful. But guys rather validate other women and their beauty over their own SOs. That reeks of seflishness and it makes me have a very sad negative opinion of men. How would men feel to know their women were validating other men for the money they make over their SOs or for the bigger cocks they have or for how much taller they are. Think about the things, as a man, that you are insecure about, then think how you as a man would feel if your woman was validating those things in another man.

 

 

 

If you can accept that love is more than just physical attraction and that guys aren't always sex-obsessed simpletons, and if you can maintain your basic level of attractiveness physically while getting into a guy's head, you'll be able to do things to your man that no other woman could possibly do.

 

Acutally, this whole thread seems to be guys justfying the fact that they are only sex-starved simpletons and telling women to shut up and accept it because apparently men matter more then women do. There is no point in trying to make men happy. No matter what you do for your guy, he is going to seek out other women. It is pointless to try to stay attractive or work to make him happy.

 

 

Finally, I love how guys say you are just being insecure. Hello! Of course women are insecure about this. Men talk about how hot another woman is, how much they would bang if they could, and you wonder why women get insecure over this? Do you not understand how much of a threat that is to a woman and her own femininty? If you can't see that, you are ignorant.

 

Lets keep telling women how hot other women are. How much better other women are then her. Then turn around and tell her to stay attractive for me and not be insecure. Does that make sense to men to do that?

 

Of course women are insecure. Men are always seeking out other women over them. While in a relationships of not. Even if theirwomen is trying to make them happy of not.

[professor]

We Do This Type Of Thing All Of The Time. It's Not That He Does Not Love You, You Have To Get His Mind. Man Are Turn On By Looks Not What Is About The Future. It's That Simple, Honey!!!!!!!!!

[goodfriendeva]

guys are pigs.. and very visual..

 

uh.. talk to him about how it makes you feel.. you can ask him to stop looking.. OR ask him to make sure he deletes it.. because you not seeing would be better