The truth about one income households

[a4a]

Well let it all hang out here and state the positives or negatives of having only one working SO in the household.....do you like it or not. Pitfalls, the good things about it.

 

Why do you do it?

 

Post away your opinion if you think only one spouse should work or both.

 

(Keep it clean and come out of your corner when you here the bell)

[JadeStar]

I think ppl have to do what works best for them. I used to work back before I got prego with my first kid who is now 9. I was very sick with him and missed alot of work. My hubby told me, "Why don't you stay out of work since you are so sick." I did just that. Then I continued to stay out of work after the baby was born, but later on offered to get a job if he wanted me too. Of course I do what I want I anyway. If I want to work or stay home its really my choice but he is my husband so he has a say so as well.

 

He told me it was up to me if I wanted to go back to work or not. He told me and made a good point really, that if I went back some of that money would be used to go towards daycare for our son and day care is not cheap. So to save some money there, I stayed home. By the time he was 2 I was prego with our second child. I coninued to stay home, I enjoyed it and hubby did too. I am in the process of having 2 jobs up in the air now, becasue both kids are in school and if I could get something at least part time would be cool, that way I wouldn't have to pay out for after school care.

[Moose]

I don't think it matters one way or the other.

 

IMHO It's only a "pitfall", when the MARRIED couple seperate their monies.....pre-nup or no it'll always cause some problems.

 

I think that there are people who get married and still insist on, "this is mine, and no you can't have any part of it", then turn around and make demands on the contrary.

[Moose]

I re-read your, "requirements" to post here.

 

I do believe that the man of the house should be the only one bringing home the paycheck. Especially if the couple plans to raise a family.

 

There are many reasons why.....some more obvious than others.

[a4a]

I think ppl have to do what works best for them. I used to work back before I got prego with my first kid who is now 9. I was very sick with him and missed alot of work. My hubby told me, "Why don't you stay out of work since you are so sick." I did just that. Then I continued to stay out of work after the baby was born, but later on offered to get a job if he wanted me too. Of course I do what I want I anyway. If I want to work or stay home its really my choice but he is my husband so he has a say so as well.

 

He told me it was up to me if I wanted to go back to work or not. He told me and made a good point really, that if I went back some of that money would be used to go towards daycare for our son and day care is not cheap. So to save some money there, I stayed home. By the time he was 2 I was prego with our second child. I coninued to stay home, I enjoyed it and hubby did too. I am in the process of having 2 jobs up in the air now, becasue both kids are in school and if I could get something at least part time would be cool, that way I wouldn't have to pay out for after school care.

 

 

well that sounds great Jade... good compromise.

Are you excited to get back to work for yourself? Extra cash can always help out

[JadeStar]

well that sounds great Jade... good compromise.

Are you excited to get back to work for yourself? Extra cash can always help out

 

Yes I'm excited to get back into something. I enjoy being home for/with the kids, but after 9 years its getting kind of old. So maybe the part time thing will pan out.

 

 

 

 

Jade

[a4a]

Yes I'm excited to get back into something. I enjoy being home for/with the kids, but after 9 years its getting kind of old. So maybe the part time thing will pan out.

 

 

 

 

Jade

 

 

Well why not go after something now that you may want to do after the kids graduate high school or once they are old enough to be some what independent..... In another 9 years when the first one leaves the nest at least then you will be in a career you enjoy. not just earning a paycheck.

[SoCalCatman72]

One income households are awesome;

 

She can work, I'm going fishing

[a4a]

One income households are awesome;

 

She can work, I'm going fishing

 

 

Well I don't see a thing wrong with a man not working if indeed the bills can be easily paid by the woman. Go fishin' but do something around the house too.

 

But if you are struggling financially as a couple, both need to kick in.

 

Barring if one is still attending college or higher education of some sort, the needs of the kids, or illness of one SO of course.

[ThumbingMyWay]

First off. I am male and the main "bread" winner per say in terms of a bigger paycheck.

 

My mom was a stay at home mom up until we started school. I could not have asked for a better childhood. But on the contray, we had very little money. But my parents liveed within there means. Same home for 35 years, used vehicals, vacations to relatives, etc. We did not have every toy in the world, we never owed a new car and we never went to disneyland. BUT I STILL HAD FUN and GUIDANCE from my mom every day. i would not change it for the world. Nothing could replace my early years and the times I had with my mother and the other kids in the neighborhood.

 

 

My wife works part-time and has ever since we have been together. She has had several 2nd part-time jobs over the years, but has always been mostly 1 part time job. And a very good paying, good benifits part-time job, so her health insurance and more free time is also a big bread winner in the context of what she brings to the table. Its all relative IMO.

 

If I had it my way....one parent would stay home with the kids. Its just the way I feel about family. What sense does it make to take kids to daycare for 10 hours day, I dont think its fair to them OR the parent. And I also think it has long lasting effects on children.

 

 

....but with todays economy, a one income household is hard to do, unless you can live with in your means and make wise choices about needs and wants.

 

Before I had kids, my wife and i made a decision that she would remain part-time as so one of us could be home with the kids for a good part of the day. I never ever wanted to have my kids in daycare....but on the otherhand...I feel interaction with other kids is also crucial for them. So our decision was part time work and part time daycare at our church and with a family friend who watches kids out of her home.

 

With this desicion, we knew we would scrap by for money and belive me...we are the typical paycheck to paycheck family. But it was a sacrifice we made for the crucial young years of the children. We also decided that once the kids go into grade school, my wife would go full time. We have one more summer with my son, then he is off to school. My wife has about 1 1/2 years left to finish college, so it will all come together nicely.

 

So....we have stuck to it....but we scrap by moneywise. We dont get to do what we want all the time....but we do live within our means and still maintain a fun life style.

 

I have friends were both parents work fulltime. But man...they drag there kids off to daycare at 7 am and dont pick them up till supper time. So whats the benifits? More money...yeah. But the pitfull is less time during those crucial early years of a child.

 

 

but what do I know...i am just a white male american trying to get the riches.....but the riches are already here....they are my children

 

And having one parent with them out weighs my need for more money. I have another 30 years to make more money....but I only have NOW to raise my kids.

[a4a]

 

And having one parent with them out weighs my need for more money. I have another 30 years to make more money....but I only have NOW to raise my kids.

 

If you did not have kids would you want your wife to stay home?

 

If she could make more than you would you be willing to stay home or just work part time?

[ThumbingMyWay]

If you did not have kids would you want your wife to stay home?

 

NO. I would want her to pursue a career of her choice. but if she wanted to stay home and we could make it on my income, i would be cool with that too. BUT....I would expect certain things in the context of household duties....no different than she would if I stayed home.

 

If she could make more than you would you be willing to stay home or just work part time?

 

absolutely. I would love to stay home with the kids and take care of the household duties. And for the record, we split all the household duites now anyways....I am not a do nothing husband since I work more. i do half the cleaning and most of the cooking and all the outside stuff.....

 

 

its funny you say that....cuase one of the things we talked about was once she finished college and if she can get a better paying job than me...it might work out good, because my current empolyer only plans to have this business for another 15 years or so. I will then have to make the dicision to take over the business and take on alot of stress, give up free time in the summer and take on an emence amount of financial burden at an age I may not want to do that....early 50's.

 

So we look at it this way....i work full time for the first half of my working time frame while she worked part time. Now she can pursue a career in the later part of her life (which she really wants to do) and I can scale back.

[blind_otter]

My Dad was retired when I was young. When I was very young my Mom stayed home, but by the time I was in kindergarten Dad was retired and Mom went to work as a nurse doing shift work. So Dad woke me up every morning, made me breakfast and lunch and drove me to and from school. He chaperoned field trips and picked me up when I was sick.

 

I am glad that my DAD was the one who stayed home with me. Lord knows how kooky I would be (should I say, how much kookier. is that a word?) if my MOM had stayed home with me.

 

It is totally untrue that women have the monopoly on nurturing behaviors.

[a4a]

My Dad was retired when I was young. When I was very young my Mom stayed home, but by the time I was in kindergarten Dad was retired and Mom went to work as a nurse doing shift work. So Dad woke me up every morning, made me breakfast and lunch and drove me to and from school. He chaperoned field trips and picked me up when I was sick.

 

I am glad that my DAD was the one who stayed home with me. Lord knows how kooky I would be (should I say, how much kookier. is that a word?) if my MOM had stayed home with me.

 

It is totally untrue that women have the monopoly on nurturing behaviors.

 

 

so so agree with this. If we had kids the I would have the H stay at home.... he likes them I don't.

[Roo]

Thumbing my way, I think I could've nearly written the same post (except I'm the wife)

 

Shortly after we were married I got laid off and was looking into how long we could afford for me to be out of work so I could take my time and find something I really wanted to do... turned out that was indefinite.. my husband had always hoped I would be able to stay home and raise our children, so we started trying to start our family then... A little over a year later my first was born, my second is now nearly 4 months old.

 

During this time we even sold our condo and moved to a nice big house with an acre of yard for the kids to play in, I have a crappy old used suv (well not that crappy but it's nothing special) Hubby has a 2002 truck he bought in 2001 and paid off just before we bought the house. So we have no car payments we have no debt and we live fairly comfortably for being a single income household we just forego a lot of extras.

 

We don't get to go out much, so we have dates at home after the kids are in bed, we try to go do things together or as a family that are inexpensive, it's not easy but if you get creative there's a lot out there to do for minimum $$.

 

Now that the little one is in some what of a routine I'm working on my "career" I'm starting my own photography business I figure I can make appointments around times I could get a sitter (we have a LOT of family to help out)and hopefully I'll make enough so that by the time my oldest is getting ready for school we can afford some pre-school for each of them part time prior to starting Kindergarten, and HOPEFULLY by then I'll be doing well enough to take my business to a full time level (if not before)

[a4a]

so far a pattern here that the stay home moms want to work now or eventually get to work outside the home.

 

Interesting......... indeedy

 

btw hats off to ya.... like I said before kids are work!

[alphamale]

I think it best if the male works and the female stays at home and nurtures the offspring. Of course the male has to have at least some decent earning potential for this to happen. Todays society is not setup for this anymore. Unfortunately we are now starting to see the detremental effects of two income families now. High divorce, kids going unsupervised, kids doing drugs and booze. Higher incidences of stress and mental illness.

 

Moms not being able to stay at home will eventually be the downfall of the US, in my opinion.

[blind_otter]

Hehe, if I ever had kids I would want the Dad to stay at home. I've stayed at home before, when I was married, or because I couldn't find a job.

 

I thought I would go insane. You can only scrub the grout in your bathroom so many times, or re-organize your bookshelves, or dust the air conditioning vents, or scrub the baseboards, before you start to go completely insane.

 

I'm just saying.

[a4a]

I think it best if the male works and the female stays at home and nurtures the offspring. Of course the male has to have at least some decent earning potential for this to happen. Todays society is not setup for this anymore. Unfortunately we are now starting to see the detremental effects of two income families now. High divorce, kids going unsupervised, kids doing drugs and booze. Higher incidences of stress and mental illness.

Moms not being able to stay at home will eventually be the downfall of the US, in my opinion.

 

 

ah this happened in our generation too alpha even tho our moms stayed home...... when they took the corpral punishment out of schools and away from teachers and chatting with snot kids became the norm that is when more of this crap started to happened. :lmao: also poverty level in the US is up 15.9 % :lmao: poverty level is $10,000 per individual and $20,000 per family of four..... median income in the mid $45,000 range(probably mostly 2 income families).

 

You cannot own a decent home in a safe area and own/pay for a car to get to work making $45,000 and have money to put away for retirement, college, and support a wife and kids in a decent manner.... of course you can live in a freaking trailer on a rental lot and drive a pacer... :lmao:

[alphamale]

I thought I would go insane. You can only scrub the grout in your bathroom so many times, or re-organize your bookshelves, or dust the air conditioning vents, or scrub the baseboards, before you start to go completely insane.

I think it would be different if you had 2 or 3 rug-rats running around.

[blind_otter]

I think it would be different if you had 2 or 3 rug-rats running around.

 

hahahaa, I have three dogs with the collective IQ of a 3 year old. Does that count?

 

No really I think it would push me over the edge. Both my sisters are SAHMs, and both are completely off their respective rockers. No offense to them but man. I've seen some crazy expressions on their faces. And they seem a lot more....defeated.

[a4a]

I think it would be different if you had 2 or 3 rug-rats running around.

 

 

ewwwww......... can I put them in crates while I read and do the crossword puzzle?

 

I know some well off families where the stahm's still drop the kids off at the sitters to shop and go out and play with their friends...... kids are in boarding schools and what not.

[a4a]

hahahaa, I have three dogs with the collective IQ of a 3 year old. Does that count?

 

No really I think it would push me over the edge. Both my sisters are SAHMs, and both are completely off their respective rockers. No offense to them but man. I've seen some crazy expressions on their faces. And they seem a lot more....defeated.

 

I had one tell me that she has to live for everyone but her...... maybe that is how they feel?

[a4a]

hahahaa, I have three dogs with the collective IQ of a 3 year old. Does that count?

 

No really I think it would push me over the edge. Both my sisters are SAHMs, and both are completely off their respective rockers. No offense to them but man. I've seen some crazy expressions on their faces. And they seem a lot more....defeated.

 

 

Otter I have 13 dogs here right now and 16 horses......it is like running a special ed class....... 24/7:lmao: but I can put them outside or in a crate without getting into trouble for abuse.....

 

Don't chew my damn pillow you fat bastard..... you don't even think about crappin on the floor....get outside now!!!

[alphamale]

hahahaa, I have three dogs with the collective IQ of a 3 year old. Does that count?

No it doesn't count.